Get In Her Mind, Get In Her Bed (19 page)

This process begins with basic observations and knowledge of current trends. You open with a generalized statement that would apply to just about anyone like, “Sometimes you are insecure around people you don't know very well.” From there you move on to more specific details like, “You often put other’s needs before your own, especially those close to you.” By reading the woman’s reactions, you can confirm or deny how close to the truth you actually are.

Read the following: 

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.

How accurate would you describe that statement about yourself? In a nationwide poll 84% said it was accurate, but how could that be? This works because of something called, “The Forer Effect.” When an individual is given a vague statement about their personality, they will rate that statement as highly accurate even though that statement could apply to anybody.

The first thing you need to know is what is called a Barnum statement. A Barnum statement seems personal, applies to many people, and is open ended. Think of a horoscope. They elicit identifying responses from your target. This works because people will fill in the details and make connections between what is said and some aspect of their lives. They will go back through their whole life’s history in order to fill the void, or reinterpret the statement so that it applies to them. Examples of this are:

·Sometimes you are insecure around people you don't know very well. 

·When you were a child, you had an accident involving water. 

·You are having problems with a friend or relative.

The second type of statement you will need to become familiar with is called the rainbow ruse. Here you tell the target a specific personality trait and also the opposite of that trait. It is a catchall statement that covers all possibilities. These work because at some point in their lives, the target will have experienced both traits. Examples of these statements are:

·Most of the time you are positive and cheerful, but there has been a time in the past where you were very upset. 

·You are a very kind and considerate person, but when somebody does something to break your trust, you can get very angry. 

·You are mostly shy and quiet, but when the mood strikes you, you can easily become the center of attention.

Personality Types

As much as we like to think that we are all different, people can be simplified into four basic personality types, knowledge seeking, identity seeking, sensation seeking, and security seeking personalities. Each personality type also falls into one of two attitudes, introverted or extroverted, where an introvert is quiet, reserved, and self-interested, and extrovert is outgoing, loud, and the center of attention.

Knowledge seeking personalities account for 5% to 7% of the population. They are technically minded problem solvers. They have a rational basis for everything they do. Systematic and logical, they have a hunger for learning and achievement. They tend to be interested in the sciences.

Identity seeking personalities represent 8% to 10% of the population. They try to give meaning to their lives and strive to have a positive effect on the lives of those closest to them. They describe their lives as a constant fight between good and evil. They are known to be sympathetic, enthusiastic, intuitive, insightful, and subjective.

Sensation seeking personalities enjoy life and all its shortcomings. They are easy going and open to trying new things. They never miss a chance to indulge themselves in activities that they find pleasurable. They are open minded, tolerant, artistic, and athletic. They will compromise and are determined to get what they want. Sensation seeking personalities account for 35% to 40% of the population.

At 40% to 45%, security seeking personalities are the largest and most common group. Hardworking, conservative, detailed, and stable. Security seeking personalities seek order and routine in their daily lives. They instill traditional values and seek memberships to clubs and organizations.

Personality and Age

As we grow older, and learn from our experiences, our views and beliefs about life change with the times. Age eighteen to twenty-two is considered the breaking away period, where a young adult breaks away from their parents and sets out on a life of their own. This can be done by going off to college, joining the military, or moving out of the house into their own place. They tend to follow the latest fads that conflict with the values of their parents. They surround themselves with friends who share the same views as their own, which serve as a temporary family element.

From ages twenty-two to thirty, people change their focus from trying to break free from their parents, to realizing their own personal goals. They may latch onto others to define their roles or look to mentors. One of the biggest fears of this group is that the decisions they make today will affect them in the future. During this period people will make one of two choices. To start building a firm foundation, marriage, family, and security, or run away from all commitments and live a life of exploration, risk taking, and life experience. Either path they take, they almost always look back and wonder, what it would have been like if they took the other choice.

The thirties is a period of self evaluation and settling. They question their career and relationship choices. If they don’t have a family, now is the time they start considering getting married, buying a home, even having children. They shift their focus to their careers and other opportunities for advancement.

From the forties people feel the affects of aging and their youth diminish. They go through the typical mid life crisis due to the fact that they no longer can do what they were once able to do in their youth. They reach out more to friends and find a renewed sense of life through new hobbies and activities. The kids are off to start their own lives and they are finally able to let them go.

One Minute Profile

A few key observations to various aspects about a woman can tell you everything you need to know, even if you observe the most basic of facts before going in.

Height and Weight

The average height and weight for a woman is 5’3”, 135 pounds.

Body Language

How does she hold herself in the group? Is she comfortable in her surroundings or is she closed off and watchful. Is she the center of attention and displaying dominate features or she keeping to herself and playing a submissive role.

Age

The face shows the most prevalent signs of aging. As we get older our skin becomes less elastic. Look for wrinkles around the eyes, mouth, and forehead. People who are overweight, smoke, and drink heavily, age faster than those who do not.

Speech

The more articulate the target is, the higher the education level, or amount of wealth that person has. Listen for an accent and to the words they use. Every place has its own local vocabulary. Are they consistent with their locality or do they seem out of context.

Jewelry

We all know that a diamond ring on a girl’s left hand means she is married, but jewelry can tell us so much more then that. Women without a lot of money, but an extrovert personality, will often wear cheap jewelry to show off their own personal style. A necklace may show us a religious preference and signs of wealth. Look at the size and quality of the stones in the rings, necklaces, and earrings. The bigger and better quality of stone, the more wealth that person has, or they can be gifts from past relationships and it shows the type of guys she normally dates. A pin or ribbon is normally worn in support of a belief or cause they feel strongly about. If the target is not wearing any jewelry, she is generally an introvert who does not want to conform to pressures of society. She will think of herself as highly intelligent.

Clothing and Appearance

Name brand and designer clothing show a sign of wealth. Formal or business casual dress shows the target most likely works in an office or similar professional setting. Casual wear is for comfort, but the brand and style will match the targets income level. Are they expensive and name brand, or last years style and worn out. Look at her shoes, again are they the latest fashion and well kept?

The target’s personal grooming habits tell the world how they want to be perceived and what they think of themselves. Is her hair styled and well kept. Does she get her nails done professionally or does she do them herself. Good grooming habits are a sign of success and achievement. They think highly of themselves and want the world to know the same. Poor habits show signs of laziness, little wealth, and that they don’t care what others have to think about them.

Beauty

A target’s attractiveness is a personal call. We all have different tastes but we all know what an attractive woman looks like. The really attractive women have their own set of concerns. Most men find them intimidating, and they are a threat to most other women. Others do not recognize their intelligence or other special skills, and they find that most men step over the line in their advances.

Putting it All Together

So how do we go about this? I tend to use this technique about five to ten minutes into the conversation, after the initial banter is over with and I can tell the conversation really isn’t going anywhere other than small talk. Turn to your target and say, “Do you believe in a Sixth Sense? This is strange but I’m feeling a strong connection with you. Ever since I was little I’ve been able to sense things about people upon meeting them for the first time. Do you mind if I do a reading on you?”

Now that you have her interest, grab her by the hands and close your eyes for a few seconds. Much of the success of a cold reading depends on your ability to sell the act. The more convincing you are, the more she will believe the things you are saying about her.

By now you should have made several observations about your target by using the one minute profile. With this in mind, we will come out with a few flattering remarks about them. The following list is how the average woman will describe herself.

Friendly 

Bright 

Loyal 

Independent 

Honest 

Unappreciated 

Preceptive 

Good natured 

Fun to be around 

Family oriented 

Problem solver 

Excellent people skills 

Puts others before them 

Natural intuition 

Ready to try? Tell her the following, “I can see that you are an independent woman, who often puts other’s needs before your own, especially those close to you. You are a loyal friend, and your natural intuition about others has helped out friends and family in the past…” You can continue on from here, but one or two statements are generally enough. Next we will try to get the target to open up and provide us with all the answers. We will use a Barnum statement or a Rainbow Ruse such as, “Most of the time you are positive and cheerful, but there has been a time in the past where you were very upset.” Another good one is, “There is a woman in your life that you do not get along with.” Sit back and wait for the target to search their thoughts, and provide you with the answers. Say nothing, just listen. Add another couple of statements. Watch their body language; you should be able to tell when you are close, and when you are way off target.

By now you should have some good information about your target. All you have to do now is sum everything up, and repeat back to her everything she just told you. She will be so wrapped up in the reading that she will forget that she was the one that supplied all the answers. Give her a final open ended statement about the future and you’re done. A good closing statement I use is, “I see a new relationship starting in your near future, it will most likely be someone you just met, who has spiked your interest in a way no other has before. He will be good looking, with dark features,” describe yourself. If she picks up that you are describing yourself she will think it’s cute. If she doesn’t, and trust me a lot of times she won’t, you will have just talked her into the idea of being with you through suggestion.