Gansett After Dark (11 page)

“You’ll have to give me some time to get used to calling you by your first name,” Dan said. “I’m not conditioned to be so casual with judges.”

“I’m retired now.”

“Once a judge, always a judge.”

Laura could tell that Dan’s comments pleased her dad, who was making a smooth transition to retirement. She loved having him living close enough to see him every day. He’d been a huge help to her with Holden, too.
 

Evan came over and asked to speak to her.

“Excuse me,” she said to the others. “What’s up?” she asked her cousin, who was Owen’s closest friend.

“Is he okay?” Evan asked.

She didn’t have to ask whom he was talking about. “I don’t know,” she said with a sigh. “He says he’s fine, but the closer we get to leaving, the more withdrawn he gets. I think he’s terrified of seeing his father again after all this time and of having to testify. But more than that, he’s terrified that no matter what he says or does, it won’t be enough to put the guy away for a good long time.”
 

“I really wish he and Sarah didn’t have to go through this. Especially now, right before your wedding.”

“Believe me, I wish the same thing.”

“I was worried because we got asked to play a couple of gigs in the last week or so, and he declined, which is unusual.”

“Especially when he gets to play with you. Those are his favorite gigs.”

Evan smiled at that. “I’m going to Virginia with you.”

“Evan… You don’t have to. I’ll be there, and so will Blaine, David, Slim, my dad, Sarah. He’ll be well protected.”

“He’s my best friend, Laura. I can’t let him go through this without me there with him.”

She curled her hands around his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. “I feel the same way, so I can’t blame you for wanting to come. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

“I’m worried about him,” Evan said, his gaze fixed on Owen across the yard. He was with his mom and Charlie as well as Shane, who was holding Holden, although anyone who knew Owen well could see he was smiling and nodding, but the smile wasn’t his real smile. It wasn’t the one that lit up his face and made his eyes crinkle at the corners.
 

“I am, too,” she said.

Chapter 8

“My mom told me she’s staying at Charlie’s tonight,” Owen said after they were home and had gotten Holden into bed.

“Really? Wow. Good for her—and him. Do you think they’ll, you know…”

“I’m trying very hard not to think about that.”

Laura laughed at the face he made. “My dad and Betsy were holding hands today.”

“I saw that.”

“Seems like things are moving forward for everyone.”

“Mom said Charlie is coming to Virginia with us. Slim will need to lease a bigger plane.” Because so many of them were going, Laura’s dad had worked with Slim to arrange for a private plane out of Greene Airport in Warwick.
 

“I’m glad your mom finally told Charlie what’s going on so he can support her through all of this.”

“I’m glad she told him, too.”

“Evan is planning to come with us.”

The news seemed to catch Owen off guard. “Why? He’s got too much going on with the studio to be away.”

“He wants to be there for you.”

Owen shook his head. “That’s not necessary.”

“It is to him.” Laura approached him cautiously. For the first time, she wasn’t sure she’d be welcome. “You don’t understand how hard it is for the people who love you to watch you suffer.”

He let her put her arms around him, but he seemed to be merely tolerating her, which was also a first. “And you all don’t understand how embarrassing and humiliating this entire thing is for me.”

“Why, Owen?”

Staring down at her, mouth agape, he said, “Because! He’s my father! How would you or Evan begin to understand where I come from with Frank and Mac McCarthy as your fathers?”

The pain that echoed through his every word sliced her like a knife, making her bleed for him. She’d heard it was possible to feel the pain of others almost as acutely as they were feeling it themselves, but she’d never experienced it so profoundly until now. “Your father is no reflection on you, Owen. You had no control over who you were born to, just like Evan and I had no control over who we were born to. We got lucky. You didn’t. That doesn’t make us look at you any differently because something you couldn’t control happened to you. If anything, it makes us admire you more than we already do, because you survived it when it might’ve broken a lesser person.”

“How can you be so sure it didn’t break me?”

“Look at you. You’re strong and capable and trustworthy and loyal and loving and gentle—so gentle with me and Holden and your mother and all the other people you love. You’re
nothing
like him, Owen. No one thinks you are, except for maybe you.”

His cheek twitched with tension as he fixated on a spot over her shoulder. “I feel like he’s in there, lying dormant, waiting to lash out when he has the right provocation.”

“So if I piss you off someday, you’re going to hit me?” With her hands flat against his chest, she gave him a little push.

Since he wasn’t expecting it, he stumbled slightly. “What’re you doing?”

“Proving a point.” She raised her hand and laid it gently against his cheek. “If I slap your face, will you slap me back?”

He turned away from her hand. “No. Stop it. Why are you doing this?”

She rolled her other hand into a fist that she pressed to his abdomen. “If I punch you in the stomach, will you punch me back?”

“Laura…”

“You’d never lay a hand on me, no matter what I did to you. Never. I haven’t the slightest doubt about that. I could say anything, do anything, and you’d never touch me with anything other than love.”

“Stop this.”

“Not until I hear you say you’re nothing like him.” With her hands once again on his chest, she raised a challenging brow. “Do I need to push you around a little more to make you understand what I already know?” The notion that she could physically make him do anything he didn’t want to do was ridiculous, and they both knew it. “Do I?”

“No,” he said with a sigh as he curled his hands around her wrists and lifted them from his chest. He kissed one of her palms and then the other. “I’d rather die than do anything to hurt you.”

“And that, right there, is why you’ll never be your father’s son. Don’t you see, Owen? That’s not how he feels. He’d rather die than admit how weak and inadequate he is or how little control he has over his rage. You would rather die than hurt me or anyone else you love. Can’t you see the difference?”

“I’m beginning to, but I still worry that he’ll rear his ugly head in me someday.”

“So when Holden is five and sitting at the table playing with his food rather than eating it, will you suddenly hit him so hard across his little face that he can’t go to school for a week out of fear that someone might see the bruises?” She’d purposely used the first time his father had hit him as an example.

“No,” he said, blinking furiously.

Laura framed his face with both her hands. “You would never, could never. You love Holden more than you love yourself. You love me more than you love yourself. That’s why you’ll never behave the way your father did. He loves no one more than he loves himself.”

 
He slid his arms around her, letting his head drop to her shoulder.

“I want you to say it.”

“Say what?”

“I’m nothing like my father. Say it.”

“Laura…”

She curled her hand around his nape, cradling him against her. “Say it.”

“I’m nothing like my father.”

“Say it again.”

He released a deep, rattling breath. “I’m nothing like my father.”

“One more time.”

“I’m nothing like my father.”

“We’ll keep working on this until it gets easier to say and believe.”

“I still don’t want you guys to come to Virginia.”

“Too bad.” Pressing her lips to his temple, she said, “Oh damn. Does it piss you off when I talk to you that way? Do you feel compelled to show me the back of your hand to keep me in line?”

He pulled her in closer. “Actually, it kind of turns me on when you talk back to me.”

Laura laughed. “That’s good to know.”

“Thank you.”

Her eyes filled, and she closed them, determined to stay strong for him when she wanted to weep. “Please don’t thank me for helping you to see that you’re a good man, Owen. One of the best men I’ve ever known. And I don’t expect my opinion of you to ever change.”

“It would kill me if I did something to lose your respect.”

“There again you prove my point. Do you think your father ever said anything like that to your mother?”

“I doubt he did.”

“I’m going to keep reminding you of all the differences between you and him.”

“Okay.”

“Come to bed with me, Owen. I need you.”

“You need me… Seems like the other way around tonight.”

“We need each other, like we have from the very beginning.”

He bent his head to kiss her, lingering for a long moment. “I don’t know how I ever lived without you.”

“I feel exactly the same way.” She went up on tiptoes to kiss him. “We’re going to get you through the trial, and then we’ll have the rest of our lives together.”

Running his hands down her back, he cupped her bottom and lifted her.

Laura clung to him as he walked them across the room to their bed. He undressed her and then himself, all the while gazing down at her with love in his eyes. Leaning over her, he left a circle of kisses on the slight bump on her abdomen.

“I can’t wait to meet these guys.”

“Neither can I.”

“I can’t wait until they stop making you sick every day.”

She slid her fingers through his always unruly blond hair. “Neither can I.”

Chuckling, he kissed his way up the front of her. “Let’s cover you up so you don’t get cold.” He lifted her effortlessly, arranged her on the pillows and covered her before he slid in next to her.

Laura turned on her side and reached for him. “This is the best part of the day. The very end, when I get to be alone with you.”

He worked his leg between hers and put his arms around her. “It’s my favorite time of day, too.”
 

Despite the desire she always felt for him, especially when they were naked in bed together, her eyes refused to stay open any longer. “I can’t stay awake.”

“You don’t have to, honey.”

“Don’t you want to…”

“Always, but you need to sleep.”

“I’ll make it up to you in the morning.”

“You don’t have to. You give me everything I could ever want and then some. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I owe you everything,” she whispered. “I was wrecked, and you put me back together.”

“Best project I ever worked on.”

With her face tucked against his chest, she smiled, content and happy. No matter what went on around them, they’d always have this. She took that thought with her as she drifted off to sleep.