Gabriel's Rule (7 page)

‘They’re
hippocrates.”

“What
do you mean?”

“I
told you they were really conservative, right?” At his nod she continued. “So
no gays, marriage before sex, no adultery, no birth control, women stay home,
men rule the roost – that’s their message every Sunday morning. But by dinner
time, my mom is passed out drunk on the couch and my dad is off screwing his
“assistant,” Andrew.” She laughed bitterly. “But God forbid their little girl
be allowed to go to her classmate’s birthday party at the bowling alley – what
kind of message would that send?”

Gabe
was sorry he’d started this conversation. The fun they’d been having
disintegrated.

“How
did you manage to not turn out like them?” Gabe wondered aloud.

“As
I got older they ignored me more than anything else, or they put me down. I was
never smart enough or pretty enough or skinny enough. I had tried for a really
long time to be what they said God wanted me to be. I got good grades, I went
to the private Baptist college like they wanted, started pursing the degree in
Biblical studies like they wanted, stayed away from boys like they wanted. I
even lost the weight they wanted by starving myself and forcing myself to puke
into a toilet. But it still wasn’t enough.” Gabe could tell she was fighting
tears.

“Riley…”

“I’m
okay Gabe. Let me finish, okay?”

“Okay.”

She
nodded and gave him a shaky smile before turning her eyes back out the window
to watch the world fly by.

“I
was in my first year at college and I’d lost so much weight so fast that I
ended up passing out and hitting my head on the bathroom floor in between
classes. When I came to, I was in the ER and I could hear the doctor telling my
parents that I had an eating disorder and that I should see a therapist. I was
so glad to finally have it be over…I was sure they were going to tell me how
sorry they were for the way things had happened. But they never said anything,
never even brought up what the doctor had said. They just complained about the
inconvenience of having to come see me because it was the night before my dad’s
Good Friday sermon which was being televised to millions.”

Gabe
clenched the wheel and locked his jaw. He needed her to finish it.

“After
that I was done. I got my own place and switched schools to study to become a
vet tech. When my parents refused to pay the tuition, I took out student loans.
I went to therapy so I could get my head on straight about food and my body. In
the end, I pretty much didn’t give my parents any choice in the matter. I guess
we had a silent agreement to just kind of ignore each other. I met Paul about
two years ago – he was actually pretty nice to me, said all the things I wanted
to hear. He actually convinced me to make up with my parents.”

Gabe
glanced over at her when she fell silent. She was drawing on the condensation
that had appeared on the glass. He doubted she was even aware of what she was
doing.

“I’d
never been with a man up to that point, so I liked the attention he gave me. It
took me a really long time to realize that he was tearing me down the way my
parents had done all my life – he was just really good at being subtle about
it. I wasn’t really ready the first time we…” her voice dropped off.

“The
first time you had sex?”

She
nodded, her eyes focused on the finger she was swiping in figure eights on the
window. “I told him it hurt but he said that was normal. It hurt every time
after that too but he said it was my fault because I couldn’t relax – I was too
uptight. He wouldn’t wear a condom either so I went behind his back and got on
the pill. He was pissed when he found out. If I’d been smarter, I would have
figured out that he was only using me to get in good with my parents so they’d
support him politically.

I
guessed he was cheating on me so I went and got tested to make sure he hadn’t
given me anything and then I packed my up things. I hated having to quit my
job, but I needed to get away. I went to his place to pick up some of my stuff
while he was supposed to be at work but it turned out that he and his secretary
had decided to have a quickie there while on their lunch break. Long story
short, I told him we were through, he hit me and said I’d be sorry if I left
him and that was it – I left the next day.”

She
fell silent and Gabe took in his first real deep breath since she started
talking. He wanted to drag her to his side and promise her that no one would
ever hurt her like that again. But friends didn’t do that, right? But he
couldn’t not touch her so he reached across the bench with his right hand and
grabbed her left hand in his and squeezed hard. She didn’t look at him but she
squeezed his hand back.

“Riley,”
he said quietly, his voice serious. She turned slowly to look at him as if
dreading what he was going to say. “You really suck at bowling.”

***

Riley
waited for Gabe to come around and help her out of the truck. She probably
could’ve managed it herself, but he told her in that no nonsense voice of his to
stay put. She figured she should pick her battles wisely with Gabe and if it
meant having his hands on her for just a few moments more, she’d happily wave
the white flag. Besides, she needed the extra few seconds to pull herself
together. Once he’d gotten her started talking about her past, she hadn’t been
able to shut herself up.

It
was like she was testing him; throwing as much as she could at him all at once
to see if he would still want to be around her. She’d gotten so used to people
disappointing her that she realized she was in a constant state of anticipation
as she waited for Gabe to do the same. But he hadn’t – he’d let her off the
hook with a swipe at her bowling skills. She was losing more and more of her
heart to him every second she was with him and they would never be more than
friends. She needed to be grateful for having at least that, but she was
selfish and she wanted more.

Gabe
opened the door and helped her out. He released her hand once she was out of
the truck and she instantly missed its warmth and strength. They walked side by
side up to the walkway to the apartment building.

“Are
you working tomorrow?” he asked.

“No,
I’m off. One of the other waitresses asked to switch days with me. I was
thinking about going to the store to buy some paint. The walls in my apartment
are pretty disgusting.”

They
were just reaching the top stair as Gabe said “Well, let me know if you need
any-” He stopped so abruptly, she instantly stuck her arm out to grab him
thinking he was going to fall backwards down the stairs. She looked up and saw
what he did. A scraggly women, in her mid-fifties maybe, with greasy,
shoulder-length brown hair stood leaning against the wall next to Gabe’s door,
her skinny arms cradling her gaunt body. Her skin was pale and drawn tight over
her sunken features and Riley could see the bones of her collarbone sticking
out against the worn fabric of her dirty, green sweatshirt. Gabe still hadn’t
moved and Riley instinctively knew who the woman was.

“Hi
Gabriel,” the woman said, her scratchy voice high and thin.

“Mom.”
Gabe finally took a few steps forward towards her, Riley understandably all but
forgotten. She watched as he took in his mother’s appearance from head to toe
and Riley saw the pain flash through his gaze. God, how she wished she could
take that from him. Gabe slowly and carefully enfolded his mother in his arms –
she was so small and skinny she almost disappeared in his embrace. When they
pulled apart, Gabe’s mom looked pointedly at her.

“Oh,
um, Mom this is Riley. Riley, this is my mom, Abby Maddox.”

“Hi
Ms. Maddox, it’s good to meet you,” Riley said as she gently shook the woman’s
hand. It was cold and frail.

“Come
on inside Mom,” Gabe said as he opened the door. He cast Riley an apologetic
look. She nodded in understanding and watched him disappear into the apartment.

***

Riley
tried to keep her attention on the paint samples she’d taped to the walls
earlier that day, but all she could focus on was listening for any sound coming
from Gabe’s apartment. She’d caught herself with her ear close to her own door
several times in an effort to hear what was going on. There was the occasional
raised voice, Gabe’s likely, but nothing else. It was nearing midnight and she
needed to get to bed if her plan was to spend tomorrow painting. But as she
reached for the light switch, she heard a woman’s voice shouting. Gabe’s mom.

Riley
couldn’t make out the words, but the shrill tone was followed by shattering
glass and then a door slam. She heard footsteps hurry down the stairs and then
Gabe’s voice as he pulled open the door and called out after his mother. It
sounded like he went down the stairs after her, but within a minute he was back
by himself. The door slammed shut and Riley stood there straining to hear
something, anything else.

Ten
minutes passed, then twenty but still nothing. He was probably in bed she
assured herself. She switched off her light and went to her bedroom but stopped
once she was in there. There was no way she could sleep if she didn’t make sure
he was okay. If she woke him then so be it – he could be pissed at her
tomorrow.

She
left her apartment and went to his door. She could hear muffled sounds inside
but she wasn’t sure what it was since he didn’t have a TV in the living room.
She knocked softly. Nothing. Another knock, harder this time. The muffled sound
continued but no Gabe. She should go back to her apartment, but instead of
turning around, she had her hand on the knob and was turning it, testing it. It
gave and the door opened.

“Gabe?”
she said quietly as she entered.

“Not
now Riley,” Gabe said coldly from the dining room where he was viciously
punching the heavy weight bag. It swung back and forth dramatically and she
remembered how hard it had been for her to move it. A quick glance around the
room showed some broken glass on the floor near the doorframe leading to the
back of the apartment. It looked like there was some liquid on the floor too
and Riley guessed his mother had thrown a glass of something at Gabe – probably
water. She turned her gaze back to Gabe.

He
still wore his jeans but his shirt was gone and sweat dripped down his back.
His hair was damp and sticking to his forehead, testament to how many times and
how hard he had been hitting that bag in just twenty short minutes. She
shivered when he glanced at her, his eyes glittering with anger. Even knowing
it wasn’t directed at her, she felt a momentary bite of fear. But then she
remembered the combined agony and relief she’d seen in his eyes when he’d seen
his mom standing at his door. That was the man she had come to check on and
that was the man she would stay for.

Gabe’s
muscles were on fire from the beating he was giving the bag but he didn’t stop
or even slow. He just needed a few more hits and then the pain would ease and
he’d be able to breathe again. He ignored Riley because if he continued to
acknowledge her, she would stay and he didn’t want that because then she would
become his outlet. No, he wouldn’t hurt her, not physically anyway, but he’d
use her like he did all those other women and it would destroy her because he
could tell she cared about him. He should just tell her everything about who he
was and what he’d done and then she’d walk away. But he didn’t want her to look
at him in disgust. He paused long enough to wipe the sweat from his eyes, and
then resumed his punching.

When
he’d seen his mother, everything had come back in a rush and he’d felt
overwhelming guilt when he saw her condition. He’d realized that for the past
few days he hadn’t given her much thought at all because he’d been consumed
with thoughts of Riley. His mom had looked frailer than ever, but when he’d
told her he wouldn’t lend her money, she’d turned into a crazy woman and
chugged her glass of water at him. He’d been expecting it so it had been easy to
dodge.

When
he offered to take her back to rehab, she started ranting and raving about how
the people at rehab didn’t understand her, that he didn’t understand her. It
was a scene they had played over and over so many times he’d lost count. Everything
was always someone else’s fault besides her own. In a few days she’d be back
again, acting like it was the first time and it would start all over again. If
he could just figure out how to stop getting his hopes up that the scene might
end up playing out different, then maybe it wouldn’t always hurt this much.

Damn,
he could smell that distinct peach scent even from across the room. He’d yet to
figure out if it was some fragrance she used or her shampoo or if it was just
her. It didn’t matter – she wouldn’t be around long enough for him to find out.

“Riley,
you need to go.”

She
stood mutely, her beautiful eyes heavy with concern. He slugged the bag a few
more times and then grabbed it to stop it when it returned to him. “Damn it
Riley, just get out. I don’t want you here!”

He
watched her flinch at his tone but she still didn’t move. He felt his desire
kicking up as his dominant side began to take over and demanded he make her
bend to his will. Forcing the darkness back, he used his teeth to rip off one
boxing glove and then pulled the other one off and dropped them to the floor.
His moves were deliberate and calculating, meant to cause more fear than if
he’d flung them across the room.

Keeping
his eyes locked with hers, he stalked slowly towards her and felt the dark part
of him surge when she moved back a few steps. As he closed the distance she hit
the door with her back but she made no effort to leave or to stop his approach.

“I
told you to go,” he snarled as he caged her in with his arms, her head thudding
back against the door as he brought his face within inches of hers.

“No.”

His
inner beast wanted out so it could break her down and make her submit, to
surrender completely. It wanted her begging him to give her only what he could.
No! S
he wasn’t like the others and he
wasn’t like the warped people that had torn her down just so they could try to
mold her into someone she wasn’t. They should have protected her and loved her
for the unique person she was – they should have treasured her and nurtured her
kind, giving nature. They should have stepped all over themselves in order to
tease a smile from her or hear the light in her laughter. He wouldn’t be like
them – he wouldn’t force his depravities on her just so he could find some
relief.

He
pushed back from her both physically and mentally and started walking away from
her.

“Gabe,”
she said so softly that he couldn’t help but turn back around to look at her.

Her
fingers were slowly pulling the top button of her blouse free. His breath
hitched as she moved to the next one, then the third. Her eyes were fixed on
him as she finished unbuttoning it and pulled the ends back to reveal the lacy
black bra beneath. His gaze jumped back to hers and he saw the vulnerability
there. He could end this now with a cruel word; one comment about her figure or
lack of confidence and this would be over and he’d never have to worry about
controlling himself around her again.

“Drop
the shirt to the floor.”

Relief
relaxed her features and her breath caught as she did what he told her.

“Let
your hair down.” She reached up to pull the hair tie free and he watched her
breasts rise with the motion. Strands of silken hair fell over her, covering
his view of the nipples that were starting to harden under the fabric. He
itched to take over, but watching her do his bidding had ratcheted his desire
up to a whole new level.

“Pants.”

He
watched as she took a breath for courage and unbuttoned the pants. As she
pulled the zipper down he said, “Last chance to end this Riley.” But she didn’t
even hesitate as she took off the pants and dropped them to the floor next to
her shirt. Bastard that he was, he was going to take what she was offering.

“Bedroom,
now.” If she was bothered by the coldness of his tone, she didn’t show it.
Something inside him had switched on and he was tired of fighting it. As she
passed, he put out a hand to stop her but didn’t actually touch her. “You
remember my rules?” She nodded. “Go lay down on the bed and wait.”

***

Riley
took a deep breath as she heard the shower turn off. He’d disappeared into the
bathroom a few minutes earlier, not even bothering to check if she had done
what he told her to. Fear and anticipation fought for control of her body as
she lay there in bra and panties on top of his bedspread. Offering herself to
him had never even entered her mind when she had walked into his apartment, but
when she saw the torture he was inflicting on himself with that weight bag, her
heart had broken for him. Instinct told her that he wouldn’t share with her the
specifics of what had happened with his mother so she hadn’t asked. But she
also couldn’t leave him to face it alone.

It
had been a gamble to remove her clothes and she still wasn’t sure if his
acquiescence stemmed from actual desire for her or the desire to control her.
She couldn’t pretend to understand why he needed to be the one in control when
it came to sex but it didn’t matter – he needed it and she would give that to
him. Her gut told her he wouldn’t hurt her, but she suspected he would test all
of her boundaries. She also knew that tomorrow would be a new day and whatever
was about to happen would likely obliterate the fragile friendship they had
started to build.

He
came out of the shower and into the bedroom and halted briefly when he saw her
spread out on the bed before him. She guessed he had thought she would chicken
out and run. Something flashed in his eyes and his whole body went tight. He
was wearing just a pair of sweats and even her inexperienced eyes could see his
erection through the outline of the thin fabric. She searched his eyes
desperately for the Gabe she was already more than halfway in love with but he
wasn’t there. This man was a stranger in Gabe’s beautiful body who looked at
her as if she were some type of challenge. But Gabe was in there somewhere and
maybe he would come back to her.

He
went to his dresser and pulled something out of the top drawer. As he rummaged
around, her eyes fell on the tattoo that took up a large portion of his back.
It was an old, gnarled tree with long, withered, leafless branches. The design
was stunning and she could see that it had been positioned in such a way that
if he was standing with his arms straight down, the tattoo he had on his bicep
actually became an extension of one of the branches. After a few seconds of
searching, he turned back towards her and when she saw what he was holding, she
had to force herself to lie perfectly still. A belt. Long, black leather with a
silver buckle. He approached her slowly; he was giving her a chance to back out.
She stiffened when he dropped down next to her.

“Put
your arms above your head.” His voice was toneless, almost empty. She closed
her eyes, hoped her instinct that her Gabe really was in there somewhere was
correct, and lifted her arms.

***

Something
inside of Gabe softened when he saw her lift her arms. He’d had time to cool
down in the shower as he washed the sweat from his workout away. Part of him
hadn’t wanted to give her the time to rethink her decision, but another part
wanted her to run. Seeing her laying on his bed so vulnerable had pierced
something inside, but he’d stubbornly ignored it and fished out the only belt
he owned.

When
he was with clients, he had always made them bring their own restraints,
whether it be nylons or scarves or even lengths of rope – the anticipation of
carrying around the very device that would take away their control increased
their desire tenfold before he was even in the room. His routine also included
what he had told Riley to do – lay themselves out on the bed. He usually made
them undress themselves completely, but a part of him had wanted to finish
undressing Riley himself. He figured he could stray from his script a little
and still give Riley what she so badly needed.

He
wrapped the belt carefully around her wrists and fastened it tight enough that
she couldn’t free her hands, but not so tight that it would cause any damage to
her soft skin. He didn’t have any way to actually tie the belt to the headboard
so he leaned down and whispered “leave them there” against her ear, then
skimmed his fingertips down the undersides of her arms. She sucked in a breath
and trembled. His fingers pushed back the long strands of blonde hair that
partially hid her breasts from his view and then grazed her nipples before
traveling down the rest of her length. He paused and studied her body for a
long time.

She
was curved in all the right places and her pale skin felt like silk against his
fingers. Running his hands back up to her breasts, he tested their weight and
then played with her nipples through the bra. He smiled when he remembered how
sensitive she was there. He dropped his head and gently laved each one with his
tongue, then tugged the right one into his mouth. She bucked up against him and
moaned.

“Do
you trust me Riley?” He knew he shouldn’t have asked her that, he was in
control and it didn’t matter if she trusted him but he was lying to himself and
he knew it. All those other women had trusted him because they had paid to know
they were safe. Riley had no way of knowing that for sure.

“Yes.”
His muscles relaxed because he could continue. If she’d said no or she’d said
yes and he suspected she was lying, he would have had to stop. He reached into
the nightstand next to his bed and pulled out a pair of scissors. Her eyes widened
at the sight of them but she stayed still. He supposed it looked odd to have
them in there but they were there by pure chance. He’d been using them to cut
up the mattress filling that had been ripped out when Abby and her unknown
friend had trashed his apartment.

He
used the scissors to cut the straps of Riley’s bra on each side and then once
down the middle. Since his customers were usually already naked when he tied
them up, it hadn’t occurred to him to remove Riley’s bra before he’d put the
belt on. So much for straying from the script. After dropping the scissors back
in the nightstand, he returned his attention to the remnants of the bra. He
stripped the pieces away and dropped them to the floor. When he saw the dusky,
pink nipples harden more under his gaze he gave up trying to go slow and
dropped his head to taste them.

***

Riley
arched up at the feel of his mouth closing over her nipple. He sucked it into
his mouth and licked the tip and then did the same to the other. She twisted
against the restraint that prevented her from touching him. As his tongue
licked down between her breasts and to her abdomen, she closed her eyes and
tried to just feel because watching while he did things to her was too
overwhelming.

“Open
your eyes,” he said harshly and he stopped touching her until she did as he
said. His dark head was bent over her abdomen, his full lips hovering just
above her bellybutton. When he was satisfied that she was following his
instructions, he dipped his tongue into her navel, then continued to travel
down towards her panties. She expected him to slow or stop but he didn’t; his
expert hands just stripped the panties off as he went, his mouth leaving her
only long enough to work the fabric over her feet.

He
spread kisses over the skin of her hip and then trailed his mouth over her
pubic bone. She saw him look up to make sure she was still watching and his
eyes darkened before he stroked his tongue over her clit. She cried out but
kept her eyes on him. One of his hands lifted her hips so he could press his
lips more fully against her and the other hand captured one of her breasts and
tweaked the nipple. Her vision started to dim as sparks of electricity began to
shoot through her. He must have sensed she was already close because he pulled
his mouth from her and released her breast. He chuckled at her cry of
frustration, the air from his breath brushing over her sensitive bud.