Fury of the Demon (Kara Gillian) (9 page)

“Oh jeez. What you said!” Jill put her arm around me and gave me a squeeze. “You’ve been away a while, and it sounds like you’re used to talking pretty openly about stuff.” She wrinkled her nose. “Ryan’s a
guy
and, well, you know how he is.”

I snorted. “Yeah, I do.” Yet I knew what she didn’t. Ryan wasn’t just a
guy
. I knew the Ryan-Szerain struggle, had a better understanding of his moodiness and the challenges he faced. It was no wonder that, after Szerain tasted a sliver of freedom, he fought to reclaim it, even if it unbalanced his entire prison, Ryan included. I needed to remember that before doing or saying shit that would screw them both up. Away from the heat of the moment, that knowledge sparked a stab of guilt.

I should’ve been able to keep it together better for both of us.
I sighed. Too late now to worry about it. “Jesus, woman,” I said. “You’re
really
pregnant.”

She grinned and laid a hand on her belly. “A bit. She’s feisty!”

“It’s the tail,” I said with as straight a face as I could manage. “I’ve heard they’re usually twice as long in demon-human babies as—” I ducked and laughed as she grabbed a pillow and swung at me.

“You are EVIL!” she yelled, but laughter danced in her eyes. “You’re damn lucky I asked Zack a
long
time ago if I was going to have to push out something with wings. Plus, I’ve seen the ultrasound. Bitch.”

I grinned. “Yeah, I figured you’d had an ultrasound by now, and didn’t think you’d be so calm if it had four arms.”

“Two arms and two legs,” she stated firmly. “No wings. And
no
tail.”

I resisted the urge to tease her more. “Got any names picked out yet?”

“Nothing that’s stuck. And Zack won’t commit to anything.” Her amusement slipped away. “He won’t even talk about it anymore except to say it’s too soon to name her.”

“Too soon?” I gave her an incredulous look. “She’ll be here in a month!”

“I know, but he won’t budge,” she said with a touch of resentment. “He’s so
weird
sometimes.” Then she gave a dismissive wave of her hand. “Enough of that. What’s next for you?”

“I’m back on Earth to find Idris.” I quickly filled her in on who he was and the search for him, and how special he was to both Mzatal and me. “So to really get the ball rolling, I have to summon Mzatal tonight.” A scowl tugged at my mouth. “That’s sure to set Ryan off again.”

Jill shifted to face me more. “Yeah, about that.” She narrowed her eyes in the way that told me she wasn’t on board with something. “Did I hear you say you told Ryan you loved Mzatal? You do? Really?”

My scowl deepened. I didn’t need anyone else judging my relationship. I took a deep breath and did a mental pygah. “He’s really special to me. We worked closely for two months before we slept together. And it’s been another four months since then. So, yes. We’ve grown really close.”

“That’s cool,” she said unconvincingly. “I wanted to check and be sure. But he has to be a miracle worker to raise my opinion of these lords.”

“Trust me, babe, he has the miracle worker part covered,” I told her fervently. “I’m telling you, I was in
bad
shape after Rhyzkahl damn near destroyed me.”

Her brow wrinkled. “That’s about all you said when you came back last time. What did Rhyzkahl do to you?”

I hesitated, then stood and stripped off my shirt. “
This
is what he did to me.”

Jill’s hands flew to her mouth. “Oh my god.”

I lifted my arms, turned a slow circle to give her a clear view of all twelve sigil scars that covered my torso, front and back. One for each demonic lord, and then one more whose purpose had been to harness and focus the power of the other eleven.

Naked horror filled her eyes. “Why? How?”

I lowered my arms. “It was a ritual meant to turn me into a thrall, a tool for him to use to further other plans. And, to lay the foundation to recover an arcane blade similar to the one he used to carve these into me.” I pulled my shirt on again. “As for the how, he slugged me, bound me in strappado position, then took his knife to me. Both shoulders dislocated, fractured cheekbone, mental and emotional torment, and . . . the scars.”

“Oh my
god
.”

“Yep. That about sums it up.” My mouth tightened. “Oh, and this was
after
he made love to me in the middle of the ritual circle.” I sat heavily on the edge of the bed. “Stupid. Blind.”

Jill pulled me into a hug. “I’m so sorry, babe. I want to kill him.”

I returned the hug. “Mzatal got me out of there before Rhyzkahl could finish it.” I said. “He healed me, but it was a lot longer before I could trust anyone, myself included.” I sighed. “There were so many signs that I missed or ignored.”

Jill echoed my sigh. “Probably because he was a hunk. And I sure didn’t help matters by telling you to ignore Ryan and enjoy the sex.” Guilt flashed across her face.

I pulled back to look into her face. “No, don’t do that,” I said sharply. “Your advice was spot on with the knowledge you had.
I
had a lot more information, a lot more clues. Some were obvious in hindsight, though subtle at the time, while others were like glaring neon signs. He even went on my computer, for fuck’s sake!” I blew my nose on a fresh tissue to get rid of the last gunk from my cry. “He knew how lonely and needy I was, and he used it, knew I’d be blind to his bullshit because of my stupid angst.”

“He played you hard,” she said, a scowl deeply etched on her face. “He needs to get taken down for sure. Motherfucker.”

“I’m with you there.” I gave her hand a light squeeze. “Anyway, Mzatal’s been really good for me,” I said, smiling. “I’m stronger now. Not just physically.” I chuckled. “I’m a forged-in-fire bitch.”

“And you have muscles,” she noted, leveling a proud smirk at me. “I thought you were allergic to exercise.”

I let out a laugh. “Well, now I’m allergic to getting my ass kicked. Funny how the threat of serious bodily harm can change your attitude.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Guess it’s worse than the Beaulac bad guys.”

I thought of the Mraztur. “Lots worse.” I tilted my head. “If you stay late tonight, you can meet Mzatal when I summon him.” Then I groaned. “Which reminds me, I have to go back down to
Ryan’s
basement to charge the storage diagram some more. Shit.”

“I confess, the thought of meeting Mzatal weirds me out,” she said, “but I also want to see what the hell you’re up to.” Then she wrinkled her nose in sympathy. “I don’t know what to say about the Ryan-in-the-basement situation.”

“Fuck it.” I shrugged. “Zack gave me the location of a chocolate stash. I think it’s time to hit it.”

She blinked at me. “
Zack
keeps a chocolate stash?”

“Well, he might have put it there in anticipation of my return.” I dragged myself off the bed and out the bedroom.

Jill scramble-waddled to follow as I headed for the utility room. “That’s probably true. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a secret chocolate addiction.” There was a touch of resentment in her voice. Not the first time I’d heard it either.

I found the stash in the promised location, then set the big box of assorted goodies on the kitchen table. “Okay, chick. Spill. Is something going on with you and Zack?”

She fished out a miniature bar. “Nothing a little chocolate won’t cure,” she replied.

I could respect that. For now at least. We settled in to eat chocolate while she caught me up on the local gossip, and I shared fascinating, bizarre, and gross stories of my time away. As much as I’d grown to love my life in the demon realm, I’d really missed this sort of interaction.

“Don’t you
love
the new fridge?” Jill asked with a covetous gaze.

“It rocks,” I agreed. “What other so-called minor changes have those two made to my property?”

Gleefully, she proceeded to give me a rundown. Several projects I already knew. The fence and gate, porch railings and steps, basement bathroom. But there was more. A full obstacle course and running trail through the woods, new washer and dryer on order, plans to enclose the back porch, and a host of miscellaneous fixes and changes.

My mood declined as she spoke. I pinched the bridge of my nose, struggled against a bizarre sense of violation. Who the hell did they think they were? Who told them they could swoop in and take over the house my grandfather built and make so many changes
without
me?

I took a careful breath, told myself that this resentment hadn’t come up when I saw the spruced up porch and steps. It was simply the stress of the murder victim and the fight with Ryan that had me out of sorts. The two men had done nothing I wouldn’t have wanted on my own. Every bit of it had been undertaken in a spirit of friendship and caring while I’d been off learning how to save the world and myself. Plus, it had to have cost a
fortune
.

“It’s awesome,” I admitted truthfully, and was rewarded with a shimmer of relief in Jill’s eyes. She’d been in on it too, I realized, and she knew me well enough to understand how I might feel about the many changes to my home. I gave her a smile. “Y’all are awesome. Thanks.”

The front door creaked open, and I heard the jangle-clunk of keys dropping onto the table by the door.

“Honey, I’m home!” Zack called out.

“Don’t you dare ask if dinner is ready,” I hollered back.

The lanky blond agent sauntered into the kitchen. “I was thinking more along the lines of lunch.” He leaned down and gave Jill a lingering kiss, laid his hand on her belly. “Or I could just have chocolate right here,” he said, kissing a stray bit from the side of her mouth.

Jill beamed. “Chocolate
and
I can make a sammich for you.”

“Mmmm,” he said, then straightened. “That would be good, but I need to get with Ryan. He didn’t answer his damn phone. Don’t know why he has one if he isn’t going to answer.”

I winced. “We had a bit of an argument.”

Jill’s face tightened briefly at Zack’s statement, and she gave a jerky nod. “Ryan. Sure. But you’ll come back up when you’re done, right? Feels like I haven’t seen you in days.”

“Yeah, sure, sweetie. You know this has been a crazy couple of months.” He moved over to me, gave me a quick hug from behind. “Rough day, sunshine.”

“No kidding,” I said. “I’m ready for it to be over.”

“Before you know it,” Zack said and headed to the basement. He gave two sharp cop knocks, went on through, and closed the door behind him.

I narrowed my eyes. “I’m giving him five minutes, and then I need to get down there.”

Jill snorted and shook her head. “I
guarantee
he won’t be back up here in five minutes.”

“He and Ryan have been busy?”

“Ever since you left for the demon realm again.”

Crap. I knew it had to be the result of Zack easing Szerain’s confinement. Sure, it was a good thing for Szerain since it relieved some of the tortuous pressure, but it also meant it was more challenging for Zack to maintain him.

I reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. “There’s a lot of stuff on Earth that’s been set in motion with Katashi and the Mraztur,” I told her. “Zack and Ryan’s task force focuses on weird stuff, so maybe they’ve been busy with some of the fallout.” It was thin and lame, but it was the best I had since I couldn’t tell her the truth.

And why was that? I suddenly wondered. Why the hell couldn’t Zack save her some grief and tell her
something
about Ryan-Szerain? She already knew Zack was a demon, and even though there were all sorts of oaths surrounding the reasons for Szerain’s imprisonment, they seemed to have loosened in the past several months. Surely Zack could drop a hint or three?

“You think that’s what Ryan and Zack are doing?” she asked, dubious.

“I don’t know. I just know everything’s weird.” I sighed and stood. “And I need to get into my damn basement. Be back in a few, babe.”

“Okay. I’ll be here babysitting the chocolate.”

I headed to the basement door, knocked twice. “Sorry, boys,” I called out, “but I need to charge my diagram.” I turned the knob and pulled, but the door didn’t open. Locked. Annoyance curled through me. It was probably exacerbated by the general shitty nature of the day, but in that moment, I didn’t care.
It’s my goddamn house,
I fumed
. You can do all the repairs and cleanup and additions you want, but you don’t fucking lock me out of any part of it.

I went up on tiptoes to retrieve the key from the top of the doorframe, but even unlocked the door still refused to budge. Annoyance shifted to outright indignation as othersight revealed a clever little ward. Zack’s work, I knew, and completely impervious to my attempt to unwind it.

Controlling the urge to pound on the door and yell, I once again knocked.

When Zack finally opened the door, I leveled a glare at him. “I need to get into
my
basement to start my summoning prep.”

Zack regarded me, his face serious. “Will you do so quietly?”

The question didn’t do anything to improve my mood. “Sure,” I snarled. I pushed past him then headed
quietly
down the stairs, moved to the storage diagram and crouched. I deliberately didn’t look in Ryan’s direction, mostly out of pique though with a good measure of guilt. Sure, he’d been an ass to me, but I’d lost it when I should have walked away, considering his circumstances. Out of my peripheral vision I could see him supine on the futon, eyes closed. So much for making a statement by not looking at him.

Shifting to sit cross-legged, I started feeding potency into the diagram. Zack returned to kneel near Ryan’s head, clasped his hand and spoke soothingly in demon. Ryan was certainly unaware, maybe sleeping, but Szerain never slept—part of the horrible nature of his imprisonment.

Another pang of guilt wound through me. Ryan wasn’t playing a petty game of I’m-not-looking-at-you-because-I’m-pissed. Zack had him unconscious as he worked diligently to re-stabilize his world and Szerain’s.

Damn it, I shouldn’t have put him in that position in the first place.
What was I thinking snuggling up to him? Talk about giving a confusing message. Too caught up in my own shit to think about the consequences, I couldn’t have come up with a better way to send him into a tailspin if I’d tried. I wanted comfort. Comfort food. Comfort friend. But I’d crossed the friend line, used Ryan, and been a needy jerk.

The guilt retreated at the realization. It didn’t change what had happened, but I now saw how I’d been stuck in an old pattern. I could beat myself up about today’s situation, or I could take the lessons and move on. Screw it. I was
done
with being so damn needy.

I listened to Zack’s fluent speech as I fed the diagram, let it soothe me like the murmur of a brook. Though I caught snatches of the demon words, I couldn’t understand it. For all I knew Zack was telling him the story of Little Red Riding Hood. While in the demon realm I’d grown used to understanding meaning, even though I couldn’t speak the language. The grove connection acted like a universal translator, and I missed it for that and so much more. I could live without it, but it sure was nice to live
with
it, kind of like indoor plumbing. I hadn’t realized how much I was used to its comfort, its
presence
—one of those things where I didn’t miss it until it was gone.

After about ten minutes I assessed the potency level of the diagram and found it nearly full. I sealed it and quietly retreated upstairs to check on Jill.

She still sat at the table. “I hate chocolate,” she said as she shoved the container away.

“That’s the hormones talking.” I gave her a weak smile. “Looks like Ryan and Zack are deep in discussion about some case. They barely noticed me. Sorry.” I hated lying to her. Zack needed to tell her
something
.

Disappointment flickered on her face, but she simply shrugged. “I guess it
is
the middle of a workday.” She glanced at the clock. “Yikes! Speaking of which, I need to get back. I took a long lunch, but now I’m running late.”

“I guess I’ll catch you later,” I said. “I won’t be summoning Mzatal until about eight tonight. You want to put off scoping out my awesome new boyfriend until tomorrow?”

“That’s probably a good idea. I need all the sleep I can get.” She put her hand on her belly. “The bean kept me up half the night kicking, then my neighbor’s dog started barking at about five. It didn’t last long, but I couldn’t get back to sleep.”

“Bummer. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I paused, frowned. “What day of the week is it?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s Tuesday.” She stood, snatched a miniature chocolate almond bar from the container and slipped it into her pocket. “You okay on the year?”

“Yeah, sure.” I grinned. “Got that part down.”

Jill laughed. “Whew! Gotta run. Call me tomorrow.”

“Will do. Take care, babe.”

She gave me a quick hug, and I startled at the sudden jab in my midsection. I pulled back and stared at her belly.

“Holy shit,” I said. “No wonder you can’t sleep!”

Jill made a face. “She wants out. Now.” Her phone dinged. “Shit. They’re looking for me. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She snatched up her bag and dash-waddled to the door, leaving the house strangely quiet in her wake.

 • • • 

A long shower, real food, and a short nap worked wonders to recharge me and put some distance on the morning’s murder scene and the Ryan fiasco.

I looked at the basement door and sighed. It had been several hours. Hopefully, Zack had Ryan stabilized. Time to make the donuts.

I hesitated, then knocked twice.

Zack called out, “It’s open.”

Relieved, I quick-stepped down the stairs, a lot calmer than I’d been the last time. Ryan appeared to be asleep on the futon, and Zack still sat in the chair beside him. I had a feeling Zack been there the whole time I was gone.

Zack cleared his throat. “Sorry about earlier.”

“No problem,” I said. “Ryan needed you.” I quickly checked the storage diagram to verify it was full, then returned my attention to him. “It was a short but nasty fight.”

He exhaled softly. “He was pretty off balance.”

My shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I got sucked in to reacting to the stupid overlay.” Despite everything, it still grated at me that the “stupid overlay” constituted the majority of the Ryan I knew.

“I know it isn’t easy for you,” Zack said gently. “He’s stable now, and Szerain has a better handle on it. There shouldn’t be much fallout from Ryan on this, if any.”

I smiled weakly. “I get a do-over?”

“Something like that.”

“Thanks,” I said, relieved. “I’ll do my damndest not to let it happen again.”

With my guilt somewhat assuaged, I gathered several colors of chalk from the supply table and paced the summoning area, prepared to clear it of arcane residuals in preparation for the new diagram. Yet to my surprise, not only was the area already clear it was impossibly spotless, arcanely speaking. No way should it have been so squeaky clean after my summoning of Eilahn.

I slanted a look at Zack. “Did you do the clearing?”

He gave me a wry smile. “Least I could do for taking up your basement.”

“Thanks.” Clearing wasn’t hard, but it was a chore. I knelt and sketched out the central sigil then stopped and set the chalk down. My thoughts kept darting back and forth between the task at hand and the issues with Ryan, and only a foolish summoner laid a pattern with less than full focus.

Standing, I returned my gaze to Zack and gestured him over. Even with Ryan asleep, Szerain could hear everything. Zack stood and moved to me. I met his eyes and kept my voice low. “I fell in love with Ryan,” I told him flatly, “but I don’t even know if that person is real.” I grimaced. “No. That’s not true. I
know
he’s not the real Ryan Kristoff.” I struggled to find the words to express my persistent inner dread. “Is there anything of the Ryan I know in Szerain?”

“It isn’t ever fully one or the other,” Zack replied with gentle honesty. “It can’t be. Most of what you’ve seen is the Ryan-overlay in domination. Though even that is a diluted extension of Szerain.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “It’s complicated. So very complicated.”

I let out a sigh. “Yeah, I guess it is.” I crouched again, examined the sigil I’d drawn and made a correction. “No matter whether he’s Ryan or Szerain, I care about him, and I can’t simply write him off. The problem is, he keeps being
Ryan
to me, so I have trouble seeing and remembering that Szerain’s in there as well.” I blew out my breath, watched chalk dust swirl in the air. “I think I understand us both—maybe
all
of us—a little better now.”

“A benefit for everyone,” Zack agreed.

“And speaking of you and Ryan,” I said, “you haven’t explained to Jill why you spend so much time with him, have you?” At his pained grimace, I went on, “She’s hurting you know. Not badly enough for me to kick your ass, but enough that I think you should do something. She’s my friend, and so are you.”

His eyes grew distant, and for a fleeting moment it looked as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Being a 24/7 guard no doubt took its toll, demon or not.

“I’ll do better with Jill,” he said, then he flashed a smile and the crushing weariness was gone. No, not gone, I noted. Masked. “I promise,” he added.

I nodded and let the subject go. For now. “How will Szerain handle Mzatal being here?”

Zack shrugged helplessly. “Damned if I know. I’ve never had anything like this come up before. It will likely be a challenge, to say the least.”

“Move over, there’s a new lord in town.” I added a laugh to cover the flicker of worry.

He let out an answering chuckle. “Good grief. Did I sign up for this shit?”

“As much as any of us did.”

“So basically, someone forged our signatures.”

“Yeah, let’s go with that.”