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Authors: Caitlyn Willows

BOOK: Full On
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And
still
she wanted him—damn it all.

Tears flooded her vision. Valerie cursed herself a thousand
times over. The trial had been hell on her. The tension unbearable and the one
man who could alleviate that angst off-limits. Now this. More tears replaced
the ones drifting down her cheeks. She’d get no rest unless she purged the
demons from her body.

She pulled onto the shoulder to dial the number she knew by
heart. Precious seconds ticked away while she waited for an answer. Her
heartbeat thumped against her ribs. Anticipation was part of the game. It made
the final outcome that much sweeter. She prayed space and a capable partner
were available. Perfection required planning. Valerie prepared herself for
disappointment and was half tempted to return to Russell and let him exact the
revenge he wanted, just for the release it’d give her.

“Such a surprise.” Bev Renard’s tone suggested otherwise. “I
was just thinking of you.”

“I’m sure you were.” Who wasn’t with the constant news
coverage?

“Shall I expect the two of you tonight? Your special cabana
is available.”

“Is this the same special cabana he’s used for others over
the last several months?” she snapped.

Bev tsk-tsked her. “You listen to too many rumors. He’s a
catch, you know. Naturally others are going to try to drive a wedge between
you. Frankly, I’m surprised no one’s outed you as a couple.”

“You deny he’s been there?”

Now a beleaguered sigh. “I asked for his help. To train
others. Lend his expertise only. Besides, he needed an outlet. He was like a
bear with a sore ass.”

Guilt edged in. She’d jumped to conclusions. That still
didn’t excuse his bullheaded behavior tonight.

“Do you want the cabana?” Bev asked.

Yes and no. Hell, at this point she’d take Jorge the
security guard if he could handle all her needs. “No, not tonight.”

“If you change your minds, let me know. Only the best for
the best.”

Valerie thanked her and ended the call. So much for focusing
her thoughts on something other than Russell Cambridge. As if she ever could.
Pride wouldn’t let her go to him. She may have jumped to conclusions, but he
was the one with a chip on his shoulder. Lose that and they might have a deal.
She sure as hell would tell him that. He could damn well come to her.
Crawl
to her. Yeah, like that was ever going to happen. He’d crawl all right. Right
between her legs to bury his face in her pussy, after he peeled off her panties
with his teeth.

She squelched a shudder of delight and pulled back to the
street. Nothing but green lights blazed ahead, mocking her red light safeword.
Valerie aimed for the first intersection. If he wanted her, truly wanted her, a
little thing like a safeword wouldn’t stand in his way. He’d slough it off and
find another way to pursue her. No, the Russell she’d known from before would
have done that. Courtroom Russell was something else entirely. She didn’t trust
him in the least, yet wanted him in the worst way.

The last six months had been the biggest challenge of her
life, in more ways than one. The one man who could alleviate her frustrations
was the one who caused them in the first place. Images of him taking her right
there in the courtroom plagued her too often. One of them should have pulled out
of the case. Both of them were too career-oriented to do so. They craved the
experience a high-profile case would bring. And look what they’d lost as a
result.

More tears threatened. Valerie blinked them away and entered
the next intersection. Headlights closed in on her left. Instinct kicked in
even while she processed that someone had run a red light. Avoiding collision
was impossible. She swerved hard to the right. The impact shuddered through her
and shoved her car to the opposite corner. The squeal of tires gave way to the
blare of a car horn reverberating against her ears. Not hers.

Air bag didn’t deploy. Am I hurt? Move. Do something.

Valerie dutifully shoved the gear shift to Park, for all the
good that would do, then eased her foot from the brake and turned off the
engine.

“Valerie!” Russell’s shout came from a distance and for a
moment she wondered if she was in the fog of a dream. Then the passenger door
creaked open. Glass showered onto the seat.

“Valerie.” His voice was softer now, hinting of after-love
caresses. “Are you hurt?”

Her jaw moved but it took several seconds before she could
gasp out, “No, I don’t think so.”

“Come on. Let’s get you out of here.” She heard the click of
her seat belt opening, felt his fingers curl under her fingers. “Easy now.
You’ll have to climb out this way.”

The seat wouldn’t budge. Valerie accepted his hand—clutched
it like a lifeline—and crawled from behind the wheel. She spied her purse on
the passenger side floor and reached for it.

“I’ll get it, honey.” Russell gently tugged her toward him.
“Let’s get you out first.”

She managed a nod and slid across the console. He never let
go, not even when her foot touched the sidewalk. Not even as he retrieved her
purse.

“The other driver?”

“Someone else is checking on that person.”

Valerie glanced in that direction. She couldn’t see the
other driver or any passenger because of their air bags. The fact there was no
movement wasn’t a good sign. Shakes built up inside. She wrapped her arms
around her midriff to keep them there. It didn’t help. Strong arms pulled her
into comfort.

“I’ve got you. You’re all right.”

She sagged against him and soaked in the sweep of his broad
hand over her back. Thinking of how great it felt was sweet balm for the
tragedy that had just occurred. She’d deal with the repercussions of leaning on
him later. Much, much later.

Chapter Two

 

The only thing that kept Russell from shaking as much as
Valerie was holding her. It’d been a hell of an accident. If he’d been any
closer he might have been caught up in it too. Yeah, he’d been following her. A
smart man didn’t let a woman like Valerie get away. He’d respect the limits of
her safeword, even humble himself if that’s what she needed. But he was damn
determined that they’d end the night in bed buried in each other. Now this.

He swallowed the fear in his throat. “Are you sure you’re
not hurt?”

“I’m not sure of anything right now.” She jerked her head
up. “You…you were following me.”

No sense lying about it. “Yeah, I was.” He eased her head
back to his shoulder. “Did you expect anything less?”

A shiver followed on the heels of her barely perceptible
sigh. Keeping one arm around her at all times, he shrugged free of his jacket
and then draped it over her shoulders. She clutched the lapels in one fist and
burrowed deeper. “I honestly didn’t know what to expect,” she finally replied.

Approaching sirens pulled her from him—police, fire
department, paramedics. She fumbled registration and insurance papers from the
glove compartment, then returned to his side at a respectful distance.
Emergency personnel swarmed the scene. No one he was familiar with from work.
Russell was amazed with how relieved that made him feel. He and Valerie were
ordinary citizens and not—gasp!—the fucking ADA and public defender. Until they
gave their names, that is. Or the news van screeching to a halt across the
street disgorged reporters to spy them.

The police officer flashed the van a glower, then whipped
out a notepad and stalked toward Russell and Valerie. Tension radiated from his
body.

“How’s the other driver?” Russell asked, hoping to put the
man at ease.

The officer cleared his throat. “DOA. Judging from the
alcohol pouring from the vehicle…” He left the rest unsaid. “Were you driving,
sir?”

“No, I was,” Valerie told him. “The light was green.”

“It was,” Russell added. “I was in the car behind hers.”

No nod or acknowledgement, just the officer scribbling
notes. “Tow trucks are on the way, ma’am. You hurt?”

“No. Just shaken.”

He completed his interview, gave them his card and walked
off to help his partner mark the scene. Russell’s arm went around Valerie’s
shoulders of its own will. The sweep of a camera their way pulled it down.

“Vultures,” she muttered toward the ground. No one would be
able to read her lips that way. Russell glanced down as well.

“Whole thing scared the shit out of me.”

Valerie managed a little laugh. “Me and you both. Frankly,
I’m relieved to have a familiar face by my side right now.”

“Even if that face belongs to me?”

“Even if.” She tugged the edges of his jacket closer. God,
the things that little action did for his ego.

“I’ll give you a ride home.”

“Thanks. There’s a glass or two of wine in it for you. It’s
the least I can do.”

“Too much wine and I’ll have to stay over.” He meant it in
jest…sort of.

“I know.”

The smoldering note in her voice said the rest. Russell
would have leaped on that thirty minutes ago.

“But safeword rules are still in place.”

A reminder of what a jerk he’d been. He didn’t much care for
it but knew his behavior warranted the verbal cold shower. That was fine. There
were other ways to get what he wanted. It wasn’t all about bondage and
discipline. It never had been with Valerie, which was the main reason he found
her so intoxicating in the first place. She’d seeped under his skin more than
any woman before, and there would be no women after. “Would it help to say I’m
sorry?”

“Never hurts.” She tuned to face him, her back to the camera
crew. “I owe you an apology as well. It’s been brought to my attention that I
may have jumped to some conclusions about your after-hours activity these last
months. I’m sorry.”

Russell accepted her apology with a single nod. Curiosity
begged him to ask who had enlightened her. For once, he managed to keep his
mouth shut.

Her gaze drifted slowly from his eyes, pausing at his lips,
down his chin, his throat, over his tie until she reached his belt buckle and
the erection waiting to greet her. Fingernails scored down his bare flesh
wouldn’t have felt this hot. Then those big brown eyes lifted to his again. He
longed to drag her close and let her get a good feel of what she’d awakened.
Clamp his hands over her tight ass and grind into her. Push her to her knees
and drag his cock out for her to suck.

“Careful there, sweetheart,” he said with a smile. “You’re
playing with fire that bites back. Do you really want to put on a public
display?”

She shrugged. “Firefighters are on scene in case the flames
get out of control.”

He smirked. “As are news reporters who would love to catch
the ADA and public defender making extra cozy. What will they say when they see
me in this
state
?”

“Never fear. I’ll guard your assets.” She turned about,
using her body to block the world’s view and grazing his cock in the process.

Russell’s breath caught.

“Sorry, ever the naughty schoolgirl,” she said over her
shoulder.

“Nothing like mixed signals. Is the word in play or not?”

“There’s play and then there’s
play
. If you get my
drift.” She faced the gathering crowd once more. So near and yet so far. His
cock screamed victory and frustration.

“I get it.” He skimmed his fingers down her spine and
cheered at the tiny shiver that came to life under his hand. “And when we get
to your place perhaps a small reminder about trying to top from the bottom is
in order.”

He left the rest to her imagination. She could fill in
whatever blanks she wanted. Because there was equal and then there was
equal
.
He couldn’t turn his Dom self off completely, not when so much was riding on
what happened tonight. But he also couldn’t cross the line she’d drawn. All
Russell could think about was how badly he wanted to get this one right.

 

Bees buzzed along Valerie’s nerves. She gave up trying to
pass it off as an aftereffect of the accident. Each time she was near Russell
she started ticking like a Geiger counter. And when he’d wrapped his arms
around her and drew her close? Holy shit, what a feeling. His words laced with
promises of things she’d longed for—things she wasn’t sure she wanted after all
they’d been through but couldn’t stand to be without—dredged up a hunger that
clawed at her to be fulfilled.

She let those fantasies play through her head while the
final details were tied up. It kept her from worrying about everything yet to
come—insurance, finding a new car and the fact that two people had lost their
lives.

Valerie closed her eyes on that thought. Telling herself it
wasn’t her fault didn’t matter. It’d still made her sick inside.

“You ready?” Russell’s hand skimmed her lower back.

“More than ready.” Her car was in the hands of the tow truck
driver. She’d given all her info to the police, unloaded the few things she had
from her car to Russell’s, and even reported the accident to her insurance
company. She didn’t need to watch firefighters cut the deceased from the other
vehicle.

Her legs shook with every step. She still gripped the edges
of Russell’s jacket around her. Her shield against the world. Her knight by her
side. Her man taking control, making it all better, seeing she had everything
she needed.

Valerie jerked to a stop in mid-step. Russell glanced down,
worry furrowing his brow. “You all right?”

“Yes. I think I may have hurt my ankle.” A lie, but the only
thing she could come up with.

Russell scooped her into his arms. Her heart ran away with
new fantasies, dreaming things it really shouldn’t. She told it to stop, that
there were too many issues left to deal with. The foremost being her trust in
him had been shaken. Her heart didn’t listen. Neither did those blasted bees
swarming through her body.

“I’ve got an emergency ice pack in my car. It’ll help until
we can get you home.”

Only if she could put it on her crotch.

He carried her effortlessly to his car, then set her on her
feet only as long as it took to open the door. She’d barely sunk into the
passenger seat when he was crouched beside her, removing her heels.

“Which one?” He ran his hands over her ankles. “I don’t see
or feel any swelling.”

He would if he searched higher—like between her legs.

“Maybe it was just a twinge.” The words came out a tad too
breathy. She hoped he took that as a reaction to pain and not to his touch.

“I hope so. An ice pack won’t hurt though. Just in case.”

He moved away to retrieve it from the trunk. Footsteps
stampeded their way. Without the barrier of police tape, reporters converged on
them. Their numbers had increased over the last hour, once word filtered out
who had been involved in the accident. It wasn’t enough that they’d hovered
outside the courtroom for sound bites. They wanted more, always more. Fodder
for whatever story they wanted to spin. Valerie’s patience was on a short
leash. They could make something out of nothing. God only knew what they were
going to make of this.

The vehicle rocked as Russell slammed the trunk closed. He
beat the reporters to her side by mere seconds. Squatting, he ignored the blast
of questions and placed the ice pack around her right ankle. Valerie squinted
against the blare of lights. Only the quick pat of his hand to her knee as he
stood kept her from exploding. He faced the throng in one smooth move, blocking
their view of her, hands on hips.

“You can address your questions regarding the accident to
the police officers. As to your inevitable and unending questions about the
Estavarez case… Those were answered this afternoon.”

She loved the don’t-fuck-with-us tone in his voice.

“Why are you here, Mr. Cambridge?” one female asked.

Valerie fought the urge to roll her eyes. They were
oblivious as always, asking stupidly obvious questions.

Russell shifted. Valerie recognized the stance well even
from behind. He’d clasped one hand over his wrist and stared them down.

“Do you not stop to render aid when you witness an
accident?”
Idiots
was implied, at least to Valerie.

A new flurry of questions burst out, each reporter talking
over the other. Russell let them make fools of themselves for only so long
before he slowly raised his hand for silence.

“It’s been a long day capped by a traumatic event. Good
night.” He stepped forward, pushing them back by sheer force of his will.

Valerie locked the door the second it closed and snapped her
seat belt in place. The reporters scattered, cameras still captured every move.
She closed her eyes and leaned into the seat, shutting them out. There was
nothing she could do to quiet the rabble of voices.

“Miss Oswald, how does it feel to put a murderer and rapist
back on the streets?”

She shot upright.

Russell caught her forearm before she could explode. “Let it
go.”

The engine purred to life, classic-rock music covered more
questions, and he steered his car to freedom. God help the fool who tried to
block him. In minutes they were heading toward her home. She punched off the
music.

“Are they following?”

“Not yet,” he said. “They don’t have to. They know where we
both live. They can stake us out anytime they want.”

Too true. She’d kept the drapes closed for months to avoid
being snooped on. Her poor houseplants had paid the price. Valerie had too. She
hated not letting the sunshine into her home.

“You can’t stay tonight.”

His grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“They’ll see,” she quickly pointed out.

“Then I’ll park in your garage.”

“And in the morning?”

“They’ll have found a new story to chase.”

He pulled to the curb, cut the engine and leaned her way.
One arm draped over her seat. The other slid over her knee, crawled up her
thigh, bunching her dress. His intent was clear and all the “red lights” she
could stutter weren’t going to stop him. After all, this wasn’t about a Dom and
a sub. It was about a man wanting his woman. Russell wanting
her
. They
were in a public location where anyone who drove or walked by would see what
they were doing. That only added to the allure and made her heart race with
anticipation.

“I want you, Valerie. These last six months have been like a
slow death.”

He slipped his thumb beneath the crotch of her panties and
went right to the source. A whimpered gasp burst from her lips. She scooted
lower, widening her thighs to give him whatever he wanted to take.

“I’m going to be buried balls-deep inside you before this
night is over.” Long, thick fingers plunged into her pussy, thumb lashed over
her clit. Valerie fisted the sides of her seat and ground into his hand.

“You’re going to come soon.” The whispered promise tickled
her neck. “I can feel it building fast. The way your muscles trap my fingers
right where you want them. The heat boiling up inside. I want to kiss you so
bad. But if I do I’ll be all over you, feeling your tight nipples dig into my
chest, burying my cock hard and deep where my fingers are. You know what’s
stopping me?”

He had the nerve to pause while she dredged up an answer.
Valerie clamped her thighs around his hand to keep it in place. “Because we’ll
get caught?” she managed to say.

“Uh-uh, baby.” He pressed his thumb harder, faster. “Because
once I have you writhing under me, I’m not pulling out until the sun shines.”

Valerie was too lost in the image of him fucking her to
respond. Fantasies added more fuel to her orgasm, now approaching at warp
speed. She lay spread at his mercy, alternately tensed and writhing as each
swipe of his thumb drew her closer and closer. Her panted breaths matched his
but Russell’s spiraled between her breasts like hot licks seeking forbidden
treasure. She longed to tug her dress and bra down to free aching nipples to
his mouth. Fear of that level of discovery kept her from doing so. Or was it
the death grip on the seat as she braced for…

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