Full Disclosure (5 page)

“Jesus.” Roy winced and rubbed at his forehead. “Okay. Okay. I’ll...be there as soon as I can.”

Uh-oh. Janet felt the sweat chilling her skin. His hand holding up the phone fell and he glanced over at her, then quickly away. It was a guilty look.

Janet’s heart flipped over. “That wasn’t your overseas call, was it?”

“Lila,” he admitted, Adam’s apple bobbing. “It was Lila. I can’t fucking believe it. She’s at our...at
my
place. She wants to talk.”

A dozen different responses came to Janet, all of them starting with curses and ending with screams.
Was he out of his mind?
After all the shit that woman had put him through? But Janet knew how she’d react if that call had been from Billy. However much she resented her ex, she wasn’t over him yet. She’d want to talk with him. Roy wasn’t over Lila. That was the painful truth and there was no hiding from it.

CHAPTER FOUR

 
”She’s pretty,” Janet remarked as she turned off the ignition and Roy couldn’t deny that any more than he could deny what he was feeling at that moment. Lila was standing outside his apartment building, there under the streetlights. He’d almost forgotten how the waves of her daisy-yellow hair, perfectly coifed, could capture the light like a halo, or how her kittenish face, gentled with make-up could appear angelically sweet.

She was wearing a scarlet red dress, one of his favorites. With the help of a push-up bra, it made her slim waist look impossibly tiny, her curves curvier. Taken in totally, she radiated hot-but-innocent sexuality, glowed with it as earthy Janet did not. And Roy felt like a real shit for even comparing the two women. Janet didn’t deserve that…but he couldn’t seem to help it.

“Listen, Janet—” he tried.

“Roy, don’t,” she cut him off. “The only thing I ever expected from you was the truth. Everything else was gravy. I mean, come on, we just met. But I will tell you this: you’d better not let her hurt you again. She almost turned a wonderful gent into a bitter asshole, and that’s not right. Hear?”

Her dark eyes had caught his and in that moment nothing, not even Lila doing a strip tease, could have made him look away. Janet’s voice, her expression, everything about her rang through him, letting him know she was completely in his corner and on his side.

“Yes ma’am.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss.

Janet returned the kiss as passionately as she could, then deliberately broke it off. It was the only way she could think to thank him while also making sure he knew that she respected his decision. There was no point dragging this out. Whatever they might have had was not going to be.

She heard, rather than saw, Roy getting out. Felt the cold breeze, sensed his hand lifting in good-bye before he shut the car door. Then she started up the ignition. This had been a good night. A great night. Chilidogs and ranting about exes, a luxurious bubble bath, some laughs and incredible sex. She had nothing to complain about. But it was still painful to know that yet another man was leaving her for a younger, prettier woman. She drove off, determined not to let that hurt snuff out the warm afterglow of the evening.

Roy glanced across the kitchen table at Lila. She was sipping half-heartedly at the coffee he’d brewed them. It was good stuff, but not the kind she preferred and the wrinkle in her nose let him know that. He resisted the urge to tell her he’d tossed her coffee into the trash the morning after she’d left him.

“Who was that who drove you here?” she asked not-so-indifferently.

He shrugged. “A fuck buddy.”

“Roy!” she gasped in a way that was curiously satisfying.

“Did you expect me to stay true to you?” He slumped in his chair, arms crossed. It was a defensive posture, he knew, but he felt wary—mostly because his body was reacting to her. The smell of her perfume, the rise and fall of her displayed cleavage and her cupid’s bow lips, wet with gloss, were stirring up old responses. He knew he was in danger of letting her completely off the hook.

“No,” she said, glancing down and then back up. Moisture glimmered in her pretty, blue eyes. “I don’t blame you, Roy. Leaving you was one of the worst mistakes of my life!”

“Was it?”

“Oh, yes! I’m sorrier than you can imagine for what I did!” The tears fell.

It ought to have been gratifying, Roy thought, to hear her say that, to see her crying about it, but he couldn’t help remembering what he’d told Janet: how sexy tears were if a woman was admitting to a mistake. Lila, he reflected, was very appealing at that moment: cheeks damp, lower lip quivering with remorse. Roy idly wondered if she knew how arousing her repentance was. Stupid question, he decided. Of course she knew.

“I’m not expecting you to take me back right away,” she went on earnestly, “but please tell me you’ll consider it. I couldn’t bear to think we were completely and totally done—forever.”

Completely, totally and forever?
Roy almost laughed, then frowned as it dawned on him that Lila had said such silly things to him before and he’d gobbled them up like candy. Why was he feeling the opposite now? Repelled by her hyperbole rather than attracted?

He frowned, then blinked as it came to him. Oh. Because he’d spent the night with a woman who hadn’t tried to be what he wanted her to be. Janet had been only herself with him and he’d been only himself with her. And as short as their time together had been, it had given him a taste for candor and killed any patience he might have for lies. Even lies he wanted to hear.

Still, a part of him ached for Lila. She was lying to him, playing with him, but he yearned to have her back. He wondered, though, if he’d still feel that way if he could get her to be as honest with him as Janet had been. Did he have the courage to find out?

“I need to ask you some questions first,” he ventured, leaning across the table.

More tears. “Must you?” her voice had a heart-rending tremor to it. “I’ve already hurt you so much. I know you want to punish me, but my answers will probably hurt you, too, and I don’t want that.”

Damn. Roy did laugh this time, though silently. What a clever evasion. He’d forgotten how clever Lila could be. “I’ll survive,” he said dryly. “All I want from you is full disclosure. No evasions.”

Her pretty eyes dropped demurely. “I’ll try.”

“Why did you leave him? He’s better looking than me and he makes more money.”

“I didn’t love him!” she said, touching on Roy’s hand, caressing it. “I thought I did, but I don’t. I love you.” She was close enough to kiss, but he resisted.

“That’s not true, Lila.”

“Of course it is!”

He pulled back his hand. “If you’re going to lie, you can leave.”

“Roy!”

“Why?” he slammed his hand down on the table, making her jump.

She gaped at him, but her expression changed. It held less remorse and more consideration. She licked her lips. “He...wasn’t a gentleman. He expected me to wait on him hand and foot.”

This time, Roy chuckled aloud. “He made you fetch him a soda while watching the football game, huh?”

She glanced away. “Not exactly.” Her tone was petulant.

“Next question—”

“Roy, what’s the point of this interrogation?”

“Did you suck his cock?”

“I knew it!” Lila threw up her hands. “I knew you were going to go for the sordid details—”

“No. I just want to know this one thing. Did you?”

She shifted uncomfortably. “Yes. Every time we did it, if you must know. Are you happy?”

He felt his stomach turn. Suddenly, she was no longer desirable. It was like a light switch going off. Amazing what honesty could do. “Why would you do that for him if you didn’t love him?”

That gave her pause. It clearly was not the way she’d expected this interview to go. “I...don’t—”

“Why?”

She pursed her lips and crossed her arms. Ah. There was the stubborn Lila he knew so well. In the past, he’d just about gone to his knees to coax her out of this mood. This time he just waited.

“I wanted to please him,” she finally admitted.

“I see.”
Why didn’t you ever want to please me?
he almost asked, but the answer was self-evident. In their relationship it had always been his job to please her, not vice versa. “Last question—”

“Thank God!”

“How long were you planning on staying with me this time? Do you already have another rich, sexy guy lined up, or are you going to need a few months to search for one?”

She was so flabbergasted that she couldn’t even utter his name. Her expression, however, spoke volumes.

“Looks like I hit the nail squarely on the head,” Roy smiled bitterly. “Thanks for the offer, Lila, but I’m not interested in being a placeholder. The sex wasn’t that good.”

“You—you asshole!” She shot to her feet. “I thought you were a gentleman, but you’re just an angry
little
man.”

As he was taller than her, he got what the “little” was about.

“I can be,” he admitted. “A misogynistic son-of-a-bitch, ugly, hurtful and, as you say, small. But I don’t like that guy, and I don’t want to be him—not ever again. Lucky for me, I don’t have to be him. I know that now. Which is why I’m not going to take your duplicity personally. Putting a twist on it, Lila, it’s not me, it’s you.”

“Bastard!” She was almost speechless with rage now, her face as red as a child about to throw a tantrum. “I don’t know why I even bothered to come back!”

“Because you can’t stand to be without a man,” Roy sighed. “It damages your self-esteem if you don’t have one of us dancing to your tune.”

“Which you were happy enough to do,” she pointed out. “Because you knew how damn lucky you were to get a girl like me. You blew it, Roy. From now on, you’re going to be stuck with skanks like that fuck buddy of yours.”

“Instead of sluts like you?”

She snatched up her purse and made for the exit. “I saw her. She’s a frump and you deserve her.” She slammed the door behind her.

Roy, still sitting at the table, gazed at his untouched coffee. “She’s honest,” he amended, “and I don’t deserve her.”

CHAPTER FIVE

There was no angry barfly this time around to get under Janet’s skin. In fact,
Bud’s Basement
was so quiet it could have used a tirade or two. Sipping at her margarita, she wondered why she’d returned to this dive. She had, in fact, deliberately stayed away for a couple of weeks, afraid of she might feel hurt or regret. The flashbacks, however, had haunted her into returning: Roy lifting his chilidog in salute to her, clipping his toenails in his underwear, helping her on with her coat. Memories of those sizzling, loving licks he’d given her. Those were the most vivid, making her throat tighten and her pulse race. In the dark of her bedroom, her fingers would wander down to her pussy, rubbing at her clit in a vain attempt to relive those exquisite sensations.

Shifting on the barstool she felt a wetness in her panties and found herself squirming with desire. Shit! She’d been having reactions like that for two weeks. And that was why she’d finally come back to
Bud’s
. She figured she might as well indulge herself with remembering Roy rather than trying to forget him. Besides, she had him to thank for finally putting an end to her rollercoaster ride of furious ups and weepy downs over Billy. Ever since that night she’d been free of all cravings for her ex’s lean body and bad boy smiles. Instead, she dreamed of Roy’s love handles and his broad hands. His abashed grin and brave honesty; she even missed the bitter guy she’d initially met, raging against women and lies. She hadn’t known it then, but that silly rant had been a hint of how intensely passionate he could be as a lover.

What was most telling about her reflections on Roy, however, was that they left her with a deep, steady warmth. Even when she remembered that he was now with Lila, she felt no anger. Just the hope that he was happy combined with a small pang of sadness.

“Buy you a drink?”

Janet blinked up, and she couldn’t help herself. She grinned with delight.

The smile took Roy completely by surprise. He’d been hoping to find Janet at the bar, but when he’d seen her, he’d held back for a few minutes, not only to assess his feelings, but also because he feared she might not want to see him. At the very least, he’d expected her to be wary or distant. The delight on her face, however, took him totally aback. He couldn’t believe the pure joy in her eyes; why would any woman be that excited to see
him
?