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Authors: Thirteen

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“Does that mean you want to do it?”

“Do I want to do it?” she echoed. She had a thoughtful way about her as if she was trying to keep things balanced, but he noticed that a smile was twitching at her lips, and her dark eyes were gleaming. “Why the hell not? I haven’t any other plans.” She drained her margarita. “Where do we start?”

“Where most dates end,” he said, hopping off his barstool. “Come on. We’re going to the bathroom.”

“What?” Janet grabbed onto her seat. The man’s enthusiasm had wooed away her apprehension, even seduced her into feeling devil-may-care—or maybe that was the margaritas. Now, however, her very sober suspicions slammed back into her.

“Nothing’s going to happen,” he sighed, and eyed her as if she were a child scared of jumping off a diving board. “Scout’s honor. Come on. Don’t chicken out.”

Turning from Janet, Roy made for the restroom. Either she was going to follow and they’d do this, or she wouldn’t and he’d wash up and go home. He was almost to the door when he heard her heels clicking behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw her standing a few steps back. She clutched her purse, looking ready to run. There was something both brave and vulnerable about her that touched him and made him want to do right by her. Glancing side to side, he made sure no one was watching, then opened the door and slipped in.

Janet, stung by Roy’s remarks about being chicken, followed him into the bar’s toilet even as she wondered if she was being a total idiot. As bar toilets went,
Bud’s
wasn’t horrible. Not so good smelling, but fairly big and clean enough. Heart pounding in her ears, she shut and locked the door but kept her back to it, one hand on the knob. Her other hand kept her purse close. She had a can of mace in it; if Roy made one wrong move she’d not only be out of there, but she’d leave him blind and screaming.

 

 

In the harsh, bathroom light, Roy finally got a good look at Janet. She appeared to be around his own age, and nearly the same height, probably a bit shorter without the heels. Her figure had a lot of soft curves, very much to his taste, and her off-white dress revealed nice cleavage and smooth, sexy olive skin. Moving up he saw high, elegant cheekbones and full lips. Thick lashes surrounded eyes that were beautifully black, like smoky quartz.

 She still had her hand on the doorknob, and Roy, in turn, stayed as far from her as he could in the small restroom. There was no reason she should trust him after the less than sterling first impression he’d made on her. It occurred to him, in fact, that what he was about to do might make an even worse impression. He could end up being kicked in the nuts for this, but like running down hill, he felt it was too late to stop now.

“Okay, first, you need to wash off your make-up,” he said.

“My make-up?” she echoed, and then her expression lightened. “Oh! I get it.” She fished packaged cleansing wipes out of her purse and shifted to the sink.

“Now, I don’t want you to panic,” Roy went on as she erased shadow from her eyelids and lipstick from her mouth, “But I’m going to take off my clothes.”

“What?” She shot a look back at him.


Nothing’s
going to happen,” he insisted. “I know how I sounded out there. But I’m a gentleman. Really.”

He put down the toilet lid, sat and got off his shoes, then his jacket, tie and shirt. As he started to unbuckle his belt, Janet finished up and turned to watch. Her eyes looked less large without the make-up, the lips less full, but her naked face was very nice indeed.

“You take your clothes off, too,” he urged.

“Why?”

“Full disclosure.”

“Look, I don’t want to—”

“Not sex!” Roy sighed, dropping his pants. “Most couples see each other in glamorous clothes, get drunk, go to bed in a dark room. It isn’t till the next morning that they see what they’ve fucked. You are not going to have to do any of that. Full disclosure. I’m going to show you all my imperfections upfront. And I kinda hope you’ll return the favor. Unless you’ve changed your mind?”

There was something in Roy’s voice that made Janet check her impulse to leave and forget all about this screwy idea. The angry tone was back, the one deriding women. Only it didn’t sound merely angry this time, it sounded resigned. He was standing there in his tighty-whiteys, face flushed as if she’d just made a fool of him. If she didn’t go along with this, she
would
make a fool of him. Hell if she was going to let him think she was like that. She sat down on the toilet seat and removed her shoes and stockings.

“Could you unzip me?” she turned and he obligingly got her out of the dress. The casual intimacy of that moment, as if they were lovers rather than strangers, struck her as bizarre. She hung the dress up on the wall hook, then turned. The quiet between them turned thick, and awkward as they eyed each other in embarrassment. Roy in his briefs, Janet in black panties and bra.

Roy glanced down at his unflattering love handles, at the fur on his belly and legs. Fuck it. “I’ll go first,” he said, shoving down his underwear to expose a nest of pubic hair. His penis and balls had shrunken up, trying to hide away; the rosy tip of his cock peered out. He stood up straight, hands at his sides.

“There,” he said. “This is what I look like. This is me. All my flab and hair and moles and flaws. This is what my ex, Lila, no longer wants to fuck.”

Janet’s eyes flickered up and down, taking him in. Roy felt a flutter in his gut. He’d never been so naked in his life. His courage fled and his throat went tight. He had a sudden fear that Janet was going to laugh. Lila, he mused, would have. And then Janet reached back and snapped off her bra. Her breasts came down, not sagging but past being pert. There were some stretch marks. He saw brown areolas and large, heavy nipples. She slipped off her underwear, exposing a black triangle.

“Here I am,” Janet said as bravely as she could. She would have never imagined the angry guy at the bar could have gotten her to do this—could have amazed her with his boldness into doing it. She turned to display her ass. “This is one of the reasons Billy, my ex, left me. Cottage cheese thighs,” she pointed out, “And this.” Her hand brushed her belly. “I’ve tried everything, diet, exercise. I can shrink it down, but I can’t get it firm. It’s always going to be soft.”

“Hey, I like women with some give,” Roy said, which she thought was very gallant of him. “Shall we get dressed?”

Roy helped Janet snap on her bra and zip up and she handed him his shirt. They were silent and awkward as they tugged and adjusted fabric back into place, she leaving off the stockings, he pocketing the tie. Roy guessed Janet was feeling like he was, uncertain about what they’d just done. Anonymous sex couldn’t have been more intimate.

They got looks as they stepped out of the toilet. Their partisans in particular—the beer drinking guys and the billiard ladies—didn’t seem to know whether to snicker or frown.

What we’re up to is none of your business!
Roy almost snapped and protectively took Janet by the arm. She pointed out her coat and he helped her on with it. After getting his on, he held the door open for her and they stepped out into the cool, windy night.

“Where do you live?” Janet asked and looked him in the eye for the first time since the bathroom.

He told her. She nodded sagely. “I think I know what we should do next. We’ll both need to change. You head on home and put on something comfortable. I mean lazy Sunday comfortable. I’ll swing by to pick you up. Have you had dinner?”

“Um, no.” He’d skipped dinner thinking he’d just nosh on happy hour freebies—that was, until he’d seen what
Bud’s Basement
’s offered on that score and decided to just drink. “Where are we going?”

“Someplace where there’s no hiding from the awful truth.”

 

CHAPTER TWO

 

Tricky Dog
was certainly the opposite of soft lighting and elegant dining. The tables were small and plastic, as were the chairs.

 
”Do you like onions?” Janet asked as the counterman set their chilidogs on a second orange tray.

“Love them,” Roy said.

“Pile them on then,” she said, taking up the other tray, the one with drinks and chili-cheese fries. “For both of us. I want us to reek of onions.”

“Yes ma’am!”

Lifting the second tray over to the condiment table, Roy added spoonfuls of chopped onions to the dogs. He was amazed. Janet, now dressed in worn yoga pants and a baggy sweater, was a completely different woman. Cheerful, relaxed, confident. Nothing like the contentious bitch at the tavern.

Janet picked out a table, and Roy reconnected with her there. She couldn’t help but see him in a new light, literally as well as figuratively, as the illumination at
Tricky Dog
was harsh fluorescents. Wearing tatty jeans, a stained tee-shirt, and hooded sweatshirt, Roy seemed a normal guy. Easy, friendly. Quite a change from the belligerent barfly in the business suit.

“Full disclosure,” she told him, as they settled in their seats. “That means we get to see each other at our messiest. So don’t be afraid to get the food all over your face.”

“Between your teeth!” Roy rejoined, lifting his chilidog in a toast to her. She lifted hers and they jointly bit in. The chili spilled all over the plates. Janet laughed. She had, Roy reflected, a great laugh.

“I’d better warn you,” he said, “I’m waiting for this call about an overseas transfer. So I might have to answer my phone. But I’ll keep it short. I work for a law firm that specializes in global patents—”

“That sounds interesting.”

“It would be,” he shook his head, “except I work in the billings and collections department. Boring, huh?”

“No more boring than what I do,” Janet shrugged. “I’m the multi-media editor for
Splendor
. You’ve probably never heard of it. It’s a beauty magazine. The poor-girl’s Cosmo. I have to make sure all the pages go the way they should when read on a tablet, all the links are right, that sort of thing.” She snatched up a fry, gooey with cheese and let the tendrils trail over her chin.

“God, this is great,” she said. “Getting naked like that was really tense. But now I feel so free! I mean this—” she touched on the sweater. “Billy hated me in this. He always wanted me looking feminine. And I understand that. I do. I mean, you’ve gotta believe me, most of us women want to get all gussied up for you guys. We like wearing that dress that makes us feel pretty, shoes that get our hips swinging when we walk…but you really can’t wear those things to mop the floor.”

“He treated you differently when you wore that?” Roy guessed.

Her expression grew hurt. “He wouldn’t kiss me or flirt. If I tried to tease him, he ignored me. It was like I’d been transformed into the cleaning lady. Did your girlfriend treat you different when you dressed like that?”

Roy nibbled on a fry. “Lila kept threatening to burn my old tees. She liked to dress me up, and don’t get me wrong, that was fine. It may not seem like it but we guys can get into dressing up, too. You shrug on a pressed suit, put a clip on that silk tie, see the polish on your shoes and you feel like, I dunno, like a king, like your lady’s going to be proud to be seen on your arm. And to be fair, Lila had great taste; what she picked out usually made me look great. But sometimes a guy just wants to get...ratty.”

“Like a girl wants to get floppy,” Janet agreed, biting into her chilidog. She had red stains all about her lips and, from her smile, seemed to know it. “Make sure you eat with your mouth open,” she advised him.

“Will do,” he said crunching loudly on the onions. “Good choice by the way. Lila liked expensive restaurants. She wouldn’t have been caught dead at a place like this. I like upscale dining, too, but now and then I get a hankering for cheap tacos or a sloppy burger.”

“Lila didn’t let you have them?”

“She did, but she let me know that she didn’t approve. I had to sneak around like a drug addict every time I wanted a slice of pizza.”

“It was the opposite with Billy,” Janet sighed. “He’d go for cheap food, he just wouldn’t take me along. Places like this were for him and his buddies, like watching sports on Sunday. I mean, I want you guys to bond, but if your friends can’t come over that Sunday, then why can’t I watch sports with you? I like to watch sports.”

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