From The Shadows (From The Shadows #1) (9 page)

“Hey Nik don’t be sad” Nathan said with worry in his voice as he pulled me to him. “I only wanted to give you a perfect first date”. He spoke into the top of my head.

“I am not sad you dumb ass” I said with a smile as I turned my head up to look into his eyes. “This is perfect Nate, Thank you!”

“You’re welcome”. He answered before planting a soft kiss on my lips.

We sat down and soon the talk went on as it always did; smooth and easy. Talking to Nathan had always been easy.

It was such a perfect evening, and when we had finished dinner and were on our way home I felt so blissful that the smile splitting my face was impossible to turn off.

“Thank you Nate that was just the evening I needed” I told him.

He smiled back at me fondly “You´re welcome babe”.

He then turned the car over to the side of the road and turned towards me in his seat. “I was thinking maybe we could go for a walk on the beach before we go home?”

I just nodded thinking that this night could not get any better or more romantic. He was pulling out all the stops. Where had Nathan hid this romantic side? I didn’t know but I loved this side of him.

We jumped out of his truck, and hand in hand we went towards the beach. It was dark outside, except for a few far-apart street lights making sure we didn’t wander into the ocean or got lost. We did pull our shoes off and got our feet wet though.

Once in a while Nathan would stop and pull me in for a kiss and I went willingly. At one point he lifted me over his shoulder, threatening me with a soak while tickling me and making me scream for him to put me down on dry land, all the while I kept giggling like a school girl.

We had such a good time just being us and enjoying each other. It felt so normal. It felt so right. And I had to stop up and admit, both to myself and to him, what he made me feel. I was ready to jump so I did.

“What’s up babe? It looks like the mechanics in your head is ticking away.” Nathan said.

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes but also a serene smile on my lips.

“Nate… I think I.. Love you” I stammered out.

Nathan crashed me to his chest.

“You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that” He spoke into the top of my head and as I tried to look up into his eyes he told me “I love you too”.

We stood like that for a while, drowning in each other’s eyes until the stress of the day took over my body and I yawned.

Nathan chuckled when he saw how tired I was getting “Am I that boring that you are about to fall asleep on me?”

I giggled back and shock my head.

“Okay babe, let’s get back home then.”

Chapter 11

Next morning I woke up with a smile on my lips, remembering the perfect night before and I woke in the arms of the man whom I finally admitted that I love. Yes I said it; I love him and he loves me back. Nathan Mathews loves ME!

I could not believe my luck. After all the heartache happening throughout my life I actually found what I never thought I deserved. But it wasn’t just me who had gone through hell. Maybe that was why he could love me. Nathan knew about struggling and it had made him stronger and he had decided not to let it pull him down. Maybe now was my time to stop wallowing in the past and figure out what more I wanted from life. I knew that with Nathan by my side I could do it, because he made me stronger. It might have been a cliché but I felt like falling in love was making ME stronger, little by little. I wasn’t dumb however; I knew I still had issues to work out, love couldn’t erase what came before it, but for the first time I knew I would be able to.

Nathan began stirring beside me.

“Good morning my beautiful girl” He mumbled in a sleepy voice while slowly opening his gorgeous green eyes.

“Morning sexy” I said back while cheekily blinking one eye at him and before I knew it he rolled us over so he was on top of me pushing my thighs apart with his knees.

“What are you up to?” He asked as he began to kiss down my jawline and push his morning hard-on into me.

I moaned out loud. “Ahh.. it seems I am not the one UP to something” I giggled out.

“So you are going to make fun of me now?” He pouted. “Maybe I should show you just how ´me being UP´ can get you” He rolled his hips into me once more before he went down my body, leaving licks and kisses until his mouth was at the lace of my panties. He then took hold on my panties with his teeth as he growled and pulled them down my body.

I couldn’t stop giggling because of his crazy but sexy nature. And not to mention; I was oh so turned on by it.

When he came to my toes he took my panties and threw them over his shoulder before he first began kissing up my left leg, starting with my big toe, and then the right. A shiver ran through me leaving Goosebumps all over my skin. I loved how he took time to love every inch of my body, but I was getting impatient too.

As Nathan came to the apex of my thighs he spread my legs father apart and with the tip of his tongue he lightly teased my clit making my fingers automatically run into his hair as I whimpered. His tongue on me felt so good, which made my body and my mind disagree because my body wanted him to keep going and my head wanted him to make sweet love to me.

“Ahh...Nate I am so close..” I rasped.

“Then just relax babe and enjoy the ride” He answered, so I did. Or I tried to relax, because after only a few more seconds of his tentative and delicious attention on my clit he had me falling over the edge into an amazing orgasm, which he kept going by keeping up the soft strokes while he stuck a finger into me, massaging my G’spot.

My whole body was arching up from the mattress and my fingers were now digging into it unable to let go until the orgasm finally lessened up.

Nathan crawled back up my body finishing his trail of kisses until he reached my lips.

I was drained from what he just did to me, but the need to feel him inside of me was stronger.

I looked into his eyes as I begged him “Please make love to me Nate”.

He didn’t answer. He just kept up our eye contact as he slowly slid into me, stretching me as he went. It might be a good time to mention that Nathan practically always slept in the nude. He felt so good and just that one slow move re-woke my lust to the heat of an inferno and made me crash my lips with his.

I put my feet under his ass, pulling him harder into me, making us both moan and my nails go into his back. I wanted him as deep as he could go, even though he was so big that my pleasure was mixed with pain when he hit my limits.

“Babe if you don’t stop clawing me like that.. I won’t be able.. to keep up my control much longer...” He growled in the sexiest way. ”I wanted.. to make sweet, unhurried love to you!” He then added all the while looking into my eyes.

I wanted that too, but really I just wanted him in any way as long as he kept making me feel this wanted and this loved. Oh yes and not to forget this explosively turned on. I pulled back my claws and softly ran my hands all over his muscular back as he made me soar to the heaven, all the while my second orgasm built to an explosive ending that drew him with me. As he spilled his heat into me he growled and he bit down on my shoulder.

Nathan rolled us onto our sides as our labored breathing settled back to normal. We had barely gotten our breath back though, before a noise overtook the apartment and we both looked at each other with confused eyes.

“What the hell?” we said at the same time.

It was still just morning, so who the hell would come beating down the door at this hour.

Well maybe if we hadn’t been in our own little bubble of love, we would have remembered the world around us and maybe then we would have guessed who would want to tear down our bliss.

“Babe stay here and I will go check who the hell is trying to destroy our door!” Nathan said as he found a pair of sweatpants to put on.

Our? Did Nathan just allude that his home was mine too?

I had barely started my happy thought before I was brutally pulled into the reality by a voice I so happily had forgotten all about.

“Nathan open up that FUCKING door, I know she is in there!”

Nathan had reached the living room when that angry voice ran through his home and it made him come back to the bedroom to close the door and tell me to lock it.

It didn’t take a lot of seconds for me to obey him because I was getting scared, so I locked the door and slid into some clothes before sitting back on the bed. These flips of Mike’s were getting scary and I feared that next time I stood face to face with him he would beat me.

I heard a bump and knew it must have been Nathan throwing the door up in anger. “AND SO WHAT if she is here, you asshole? I told you, the other day, that you are NOT welcome here anymore!” He roared.

“So you finally admit that she is here?”

I then heard struggles followed by Mike saying “Let me the fuck in or get her out here NOW! I am not messing around and you cannot hide that slut from me!”

Oh shit, that was going to push Nathan over the edge. No one normally dared to piss him off, because though he was a softy when it came to me, he was still a bad ass and he did not take shit from anybody.

I heard a loud thump and guessed that that comment definitely just earned Mike a fist to his jaw.

“You do not EVER call her that again!” There was no doubt hearing Nathan’s voice that he was fuming.

“I call MY woman whatever the hell I want and you cannot keep her from me”.

Okay Mike was not giving up, at all. Did Nathan really have to beat him senseless before he finally gave up? I knew he would, which only scared the living crap out of me even more. Why did there have to be violence? Why couldn’t Mike just accept that I had left him? It wasn’t like he had ever loved me. And if he had I did NOT want his kind of love, because that kind only destroyed a person.

I slipped off the bed and pushed myself into the corner with a pillow pulled tight to my chest. I knew it wouldn’t exactly help my case if Mike did get in here, but it somehow felt safer.

“YOUR WOMAN?! She is NOT your fucking slut, bitch or anything! She left you, now leave US THE FUCK ALONE!

“US? So now you are fucking MY woman too?”

Another punch sounded from the living room and this time I was pretty sure it landed on Nathan and that made me really mad. It was like knowing that bad stuff was happening to Nathan because of me made me stronger. It somehow drew out the fighting spirit I had never known I had buried deep within me.

I flew to my feet, now hearing more punches being thrown, went to the door and unlocked it. And as I flung it open I saw Mike going to the floor in a death lock made by Nathan.

“Babe GO BACK, and call the police” Nathan ordered but I was on a mission now.

I stepped right in front of Mike’s face and squatted down so he could see me.

“Mike I am THROUGH. We are OVER. And now you need to leave me the FUCK alone!!” I yelled in his face seeing surprise register in his eyes before the anger returned.

He swore under his breath and tried to struggle out of Nathans hold without any luck. I really hoped he would get the message now so I went to pick up my phone and then I called the police. While pondering what exactly I had to do to get a restraining order.

When the police arrived they read Mike his rights, all while I kept thinking he didn’t deserve any rights. Could they not just put him away in a cell and throw away the key? I knew that was vengeful of me to be thinking, but I felt I could justify it after how he had been treating me.

They then handcuffed him and pushed him into the back of the police car while he growled at us. “This is NOT fucking over. You two hear me?!”

The two policemen just shook their heads and the door to the car was shut. Then they turned to us to tell us that we needed to go to the police station, tomorrow at the latest, and file that restraining order but also to give our statement.

As the police car pulled out of the parking lot I looked at Nathan to ask “What exactly does a restraining order help?”

“Not much babe, but it does so next time he shows up they know to come even faster to remove his ass!”

“That doesn’t exactly make me less afraid of THAT happening again” I said while furrowing my brows.

Nathan then put a finger under my chin to pull my eyes up to his again, and I noticed his eye beginning to turn dark. It made it run cold down my spine to see him bruised, though I knew he would think nothing much about this one bruise. I did think about it though. He should not have to fend off Mike to protect me. Mike should just get over himself and yes maybe even get some help. Not that I cared much about what happened to that jerk anymore. But I would like to not have to live through more of these stupid tantrums, if you could call them that, and the thought of them happening to another woman in the future bothered me too.

I reached up to cup Nathan’s now bruised but still handsome face in my hand and then I told him I was sorry.

“Babe it ISN’T your fault that Mike is a jerk!” he just told me and dried the lonely tear on my cheek away with his thumb. Then he lent down to kiss me.

Chapter 12

Later in the day we decided to go to the police station, to get it all in order while the episode was still fresh in our minds. All I wanted was to just forget it all and the sooner the better. I also wanted to get the restraining order in place right away so I had an extra safety line to count on if Nathan was unable to arrive fast enough the next time Mike showed up. Because I was sure he would show up again. He had never had much respect for the law, always felt like he was above it all and I suppose that was what eventually would be his downfall. I just wished that downfall would happen sooner rather than later, because I had no faith in him to ever see the light and start on a fresh and healthier path.

As we were driving home Nathan’s phone started buzzing in his pocket, so to my disappoint he turned the radio, which was turned on to the Vampire Radio channel playing all sorts of Punk, Rock and Metal, to mute.

“Yeah..?” He answered. No ´hello´. No ´this is Nathan´ just a flat slightly bothered ´Yeah´.

I couldn’t hear who was calling, or what was said over the noise coming from the traffic around us.

“Yeah I can be there in..” He looked down at his watch. “hmm.. around 20 minutes, just gotta drop off my girl and then I’ll be there.”

I didn’t think I would ever get tired of hearing him calling me his girl, the fact that I was going to be alone for a while, however, was making me a bit anxious, but I suppose Mike might still be locked up at the station. Well at least I hoped that was where he was, and if not I hoped he had gotten enough of Nathan’s fist to not come around anytime soon.

Nathan ended the call right after he had told the person on the other end that he would be there in a bit. Then he looked over at me.

“Babe you okay?”

“Yeah I’ll be alright, who was that?”

Nathan made a face. “That was work, I need to drop by for a while to look over some plans.. will you be okay at home, alone for a while?”

“Yes” I said trying to sound normal but not managing very well because it came out more as a squeak.

We had just arrived at Nathan’s apartment so he didn’t say more before he jumped from his truck and came around it to open my door. I jumped down and he wrapped me in his arms.

“I know you´re a bit anxious, because of what happened this morning, but you did good! Okay? And I will be home as fast as I can, so you just go in and lock the door. Even go to the bedroom and lock that door too, if you need to”. I nodded my head into his chest and let his strength and amazing masculine smell overtake my senses to the extent that it calmed me right down. Here I was safe and here I found the strength I needed to give him a more convincing okay. He then kissed my lips and gave me the keys to the door.

As he jumped back into his truck he told me he was going to call as soon as he drove from the office so I knew when to expect him.

For a while I just went around the apartment, trying to figure out what to do to keep my mind from running amok. The first thing I decided on was to put some music on, because I knew if there was anything that could calm me down it would be music. Especially if I could find the voice that always did that for me. So I went to Nathan’s album collection and to my joy I found just what I was looking for; it was a pink album with a super sexy, tattooed man on it. It was my favorite band HIM and the album was called Razorblade Romance.

Eventually, after letting the melancholy melodic tunes calm me down for a few minutes, I remembered the promise I had made myself this morning, before all this shit went down. Even before, Nathan had woken up. I was going to try to figure out how to move on with my life. I was also going to try to figure out what I wanted with my life.

So I pondered. Where to start, how to start...

And that is how I ended up on the couch with my laptop in my lap. I had decided this morning to move on and I had even told myself I was getting stronger, so no way, was I going to hide in the bedroom now.

I had been surfing the web trying to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, taken a few tests about which jobs would fit me and I had finally gotten an idea of something that could make me really happy. Something that I had never dared to admit that I wanted before, but something that had always made me happy. I was going to figure out where to take piano lessons and if I could gather some nerve then maybe even some song lessons too.

So I had now narrowed down my search and was looking for classes, I could start as soon as possible, when another idea struck me; I needed to do something for me. I never did much for myself and this would be the first thing I would do to let go of the prison my past had felt like. This was going to set me free!

As I was thinking of this, Nathan called. “Hey Babe, I am on my way home now”

“Okay, so when are you going to be here? I have stuff to tell you” I told him happily, knowing he would love my ideas. Or at least I hoped he would.

“I’ll be home in around half an hour because traffic is a bit jammed it seems, so I better watch my driving again”. He then told me he couldn´t wait to get home to me again and ended the call.

I went back to figuring out my second idea and that was what I was doing when I heard a knocking on the door and a voice that made me smile, telling me that I needed to unlock the door because he had given me his only key.

So I jumped from the couch, now in a much brighter mood. I went to open the door and as soon as I saw him standing there I pulled him to me by throwing my arms around his neck.

“Welcome home hunny!” I said smiling at him.

“Hey babe” He answered me and returned my smile and hug. “You seem much happier now than when I left you!”

“I am, but I can tell you why when you get in and relax. What was up at the office?”

As he got in and closed the door, he told me that they were trying to create architectural plans for a new music house. But every time they were getting close to finalizing them, the clients would ask for changes. And now they only had one week left before the deadline, and the clients had yet again called to ask for changes. Because Nathan was the head of this project he had to come in to answer that call, telling these people if the new changes were even possible.

“I was so damn close to telling them that it wasn´t possible, because they are getting on my last nerve! But they are paying a lot to have me do the plans for this project so I couldn’t exactly do that…” he said on scowl.

“Anyways what was it you wanted to show me?”

We were still standing in the hall so I took his hand and pulled him further into the apartment and went to my computer. It would be easier to tell him my plans if I could show him as well.

He sat down on the couch and as I was about to sit down beside him he took hold of my hips and pulled me down on his lap instead, where he began nuzzling my neck.

“You smell so good babe..”

“Nate stop that you are distracting me when I have stuff to show you” I said while giggling.

“Sorry.. I will try to behave.. for now!” he answered and I was sure he had a cheeky smile on his lips because I could detect it in his voice.

“You better!” I tried sounding stern without succeeding very well. I loved cheeky Nathan, but I could not let him derail me right now, though I wanted nothing but to cuddle up with him.

“Yea yea woman “ He chuckled.

“I have been thinking about a few things today…” I started and jumped into a longer description of what exactly had been on my mind and what I wanted to achieve in my life. I told him how I felt, and that getting away from Mike had made me want to explore what I could get out of my life. I told him about the tests I had taken to figure out what I would be good at and how those tests only had underlined what I already had had in my mind, but never dared to dream of because I had felt like I wasn’t good enough to achieve stuff like that. After which Nathan had scowled at me and told me I deserved the world and I was not ever allowed to think otherwise.

Well I had felt like that, and saying it out loud was one more thing I could do to set myself free. Little by little I was getting out of the shadows and Nathan was a big part of that.

Finally I came to my first conclusion. “Nate I want to take piano lessons… and I might want to take song lessons too”. I looked at him to study his reaction to my plan, and I was pleased when I saw a genuine smile spread on his face.

“Nik that is great! And you should definitely take song lessons too!”

“You think so? I am not quite sure..”

“I AM sure, you have an amazing voice”. He said trying to drill it into my mind that I WAS good at stuff. I am not sure if it worked, but I felt warm inside because he had such faith in me.

He asked me what I wanted to do with my music lessons, if I had thought about what kind of jobs I wanted from it. And I had to admit that though I had thought about it, I hadn´t settled on just one idea yet.

“.. But I have been thinking about maybe going into music therapy. Because I was thinking about what music does for me and I also read about that education, I think I could do that!” I said with a shy smile trying to have some of the faith Nathan had in me.