Freeing Destiny (Fate #2) (14 page)

“Mesmerizing is more like it.” I tapped my toes against the dashboard.

“Then you and this song have a lot in common, babe. You’re undeniably, addictively hypnotic.”

Heart clenching.
“You can’t keep saying things like that, Jack.” I
wanted
him to keep saying things like that because they made me feel so damn good, but when he spoke that way I could almost
see
inside his heart. I didn’t want to think about showing him mine. It would give away too much. It was too soon to feel all these things. Too soon. Too fast. Too crazy.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” he smarted. “You can’t shut me up. It ain’t gonna happen. I’ll tell you how I feel, when I feel it, because if I let it slip away
without
telling you, I might never get the chance.”

“Is this real?” I closed my eyes and sighed. “You can’t be real.”

“Oh, but I am.” He squeezed my hand, proving his point. It was the pinch of reality I both needed and regretted. I didn’t want this to be real. The dream was easier to walk away from. The reality—not so much.

“Wanna hit a drive-thru? I know it’s not romantic, but I do want to feed your beautiful face.”

“Actually . . .” I thought about it for a minute. “Make a pit stop at Ruddy’s Market. We’ll get some picnic stuff and a bottle of vino. We can drive for a bit and listen to more of this
mesmerizing
music and then find a place to watch the sunset. What do you think?”

“Sunset with Sunshine. Sounds fucking incredible.”

My mother once told me how her drive down Big Sur with Caleb was a life-changing experience. It was when she felt the freedom to open her heart to another man—someone other than my father, the love of her life. That trip brought on hope for
another
lifelong love. A second chance. I didn’t know if it was a hindsight kind of thing, but the way she described it to me and Nina made it seem like some modern day fairytale. Seeing it for myself,
feeling
it for myself with Jack beside me, I understood it now. It was as if the bright blue sky was filling my lungs with fresh air. The waves of the ocean were washing away my doubts and almost baptizing me with new life.

“Stop!” I shouted and Jack jammed on the brakes.

“What? Squirrel? What did I hit?”

“No, silly.” I laughed, rubbing his arm. “This spot. Stop here. It’s perfect.”

“Not enough to give me a fucking heart attack, but anything for you.” He swept a piece of caramel hair from his forehead, checked his mirrors, and veered to the right.

Once we parked and unloaded, we made our way down a narrow hiking trail. It was nothing in comparison to the setting of Mom and Caleb’s wedding, but it was still breathtaking. The sun was getting ready to say goodnight. The moon was already out and waving hello. The weather was breezy and crisp, but comfortable. This was the spot. It was ours. It would forever be ours.

“Okay, maybe it was worth cardiac arrest. Shit, Stella. This is
some view.” Jack shielded his eyes with one hand as he gazed out on the horizon. The water was calm; birds flocked above us; seals barked in the distance off the rocks.

We managed to find a small fleece blanket in the back of the Jeep. I tried my best to lay it down on the cool, soft sand, but the wind kept kicking it up. “Sometimes I know what I’m talking about. Hey, grab a corner?”

Jack met me in the middle, tapped a soft kiss on my lips before he grabbed two corners of the unruly blanket. “You look beautiful tonight. I don’t know if I told you that yet.”

He didn’t have to say a word. His eyes did all the talking. I hadn’t put too much thought into my clothing or my hair tonight, but something about the way he looked at me made me feel all done up. “Thank you.” I loved how effortless it had become between us. “You look hot, as always.” I smiled and winked as I admired his scruffy five o’clock shadow and the way the wind tousled his hair into a just-screwed-and-loving-it style.
And now my thoughts are starting to wander.

“Oh, crap!” Jack’s outburst stopped my cheeks from blushing with thoughts of what I hoped would happen underneath the stars tonight. “We don’t have a bottle opener. How will we drink the wine?”

Truth was, I didn’t need any kind of alcohol to satisfy me tonight. I was already dizzy and loopy from the mixture of stunning atmosphere, beautiful company, and wayward, naughty thoughts. I leaned down to grab my bag. “Wait, I think I might have one.”

“Lush, much?”

“Don’t judge.” I laughed. “It was a favor at a graduation party I went to this summer. I never got to cleaning out my purse—and aren’t you happy I didn’t?”

“What else you got in that bag of tricks?” He snatched it from my hold and started to rummage.

I didn’t mind that he was invading my personal space, but—
oh, no!
I’d bought a pack of condoms! I wanted to be prepared. I didn’t want him to—

“Well, looky what we have here!” he sang, dangling the small box of Trojans.

Mortification! Ocean, swallow me whole. Now. Please?
“Oh my God, give me those!” I crawled across the blanket, trying to yank them from his hands. He lifted the box above his head, teasing me.

“Not so fast. I have questions. They say you can tell a lot about a woman from what she carries in her bag. This, my hot, steamy, adorable Sunshine, tells me you’re horny.”

Oh my God. Kill me now. Put me out of my misery and humiliation.
“Jack, please,” I begged, unable to make eye contact. “Just hand them over. You weren’t supposed to—”

“Oh, so they were meant for someone
else
to see? You got another fine young gentleman wooing your pants off that I don’t know about?”

I huffed long and loud, my ears burning so badly I was afraid they might catch fire.
I’d welcome flames to my head over this embarrassment.
Not knowing what to say, I covered my face and whimpered.

“Hey,” Jack whispered in a deep, soothing tone. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I’ll put them away. Pretend I never saw them. That better?” Without looking up I could hear him replacing the box in its rightful—not as discreet as I’d hoped—place inside my bag.

“I’m such a moron.” I sighed and looked up, and my eyes met big, coffee-colored ones that had a hint of mischief swirling around.

“You are not a moron, Stella. You’re adorable.”

“Please don’t patronize me, Jack. I didn’t mean for you to see those.”

“And who cares that I did? It doesn’t change anything. You could’ve had a box of Gas-X, wart cream, and a bag of tampons swimming around in that thing and it still wouldn’t change anything.”

That I had to laugh at. “Gas-X?”

“Let loose, baby. There is nothing you can do or say that will turn me off. Promise.”

Seriously? Who is this amazing man?
“I don’t know how you do it, Jack, but you turn catastrophe into . . . nothing.”

“You toting around a box of condoms is not catastrophic. Us not getting a chance to
use
them . . . now that might be a calamity. But I won’t hold you to it. Even if I’m so fucking happy I found those things because I know they’re there for
me.
”

My time to joke. “And how can you be so sure of that, Mr. Cocky.”

“Do you really want to go there again?”

Jesus, could I ever
not
stumble on my words around him?

Together we laughed and Jack cupped my cheek in his hand, washing away my fear and replacing it with giddiness. After a sweet, slow kiss he backed away to make busy setting out the food we bought at Ruddy’s. There were a few pre-prepared meals that didn’t need to be heated, a container of cubed cheese, a bunch of red grapes, and sliced vegetables with dip. As I laid them out and opened a box of plastic utensils, Jack uncorked the wine and poured some into the plastic cups we’d bought.

Once settled, we toasted and took a sip of the zesty white wine.

Jack’s whisker-tickled lips curled up at the ends and I worried for what he was about to say. “Seriously, though. The condoms. Can we talk about this for a second?”

Worries were valid. Damn it!
“Really?” I slapped my knee.

“Really.” He took another long sip of his wine, cocking a brow.

“What’s to talk about?”

“Are they new or have you had them for a while?”

“New,” I blurted.

“Did you buy them recently, or before the wedding?”

“That’s kind of the same question, Jack.”

“Answer the question.” He smoothed his tongue across his teeth and narrowed those mischievous eyes.

“Why don’t you just ask what you
want
to ask? Did I buy them for you? For us?” This time I gulped my Sauvignon Blanc. I needed something to ease the truth out of me.

He set his glass down in the sand, inching closer to me. Taking mine from my hand, he placed it beside his. Inches apart, his hand traveled into my hair, the fingers of his other hand tickling my leg with up and down motions. “Did you? Is that what they’re for?”

His lips grazed my jaw and worked their way up to my ear. He nibbled and sucked and I clenched my legs together to contain my squirming. “Yes,” I managed to whisper. “They’re for us. For tonight. I want you to—”

His fingers were at my mouth, stopping me. “Shhh. I want you, too. I’ve wanted you since the wedding. Haven’t been able to think about anything other than feeling your skin against mine, your tightness wrapped around me, your fingers clawing at my back. I’ve been hard since the moment my eyes landed on you. I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want you. But—”

But?
How on God’s green earth was there a but to this? I stiffened underneath his touch and his reaction was to hold on tighter.

“I know you need more time. I won’t take that from you until
you’re
ready.”

“But . . . but . . . I
am
ready, Jack. I want it to be you. I’ve thought about it. I’ve made up my mind.”

“Then that’s half the battle. But even though time is not on our side, I want to take things slow. For you. I don’t just want to fuck you—I mean, I really, really want to fuck you, Stella. Believe me. I can’t stop thinking about anything
but
fucking you—but, I want to do this right. I have things I want to show you first. I want you to enjoy every second of your first time, not rush through it to get it over with. Do you understand?”

As much as it stung to know that box of condoms would go unused, I totally understood. Wordless, I brushed aside the plate of his food, maneuvered the other bowls, and secured the wine so it wouldn’t spill. In a move that was brave and spontaneous and oh-so-necessary to tame the ache between my legs, I straddled Jack’s lap and dug my fingers into his hair. “I totally understand. Now show me . . .
everything
.”

Jack

Do not shoot a load in your pants like a fucking fourteen-year-old. You cannot disappoint this girl—this virgin—and let her think you’re some minute man who can’t contain his jizz.

“
Here?
You want me to get down and dirty here?” I joked.

“Yes,” was all she said as her body rocked against mine and her hands wandered, begging me to touch her in response.

“Fuck,” I growled, unable to contain myself. “Don’t do this to me.” I
wanted
her to do it. All of it. But here? Was I really going to explore her body out in the open where anyone might see?