Freeing Destiny (Fate #2) (12 page)

Jack

She snaked her leg around mine, pulling our bodies closer together. My pants never felt so fucking restrictive. I wanted to strip her bare, take the time to appreciate every bit of her beautiful flesh. Taste, touch, and claim her. Her hips were giving me the green light every time she rubbed her neediness against mine.

Taming myself only because I didn’t want her to think she was some quick score, I suggested moving things to my bedroom.

And then she froze.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

For a second I felt the frustration of any man whose dick was so hard and swollen it ached. But when Stella collapsed against me, her face hiding against my neck, I couldn’t bring myself to be annoyed. My instinct was concern. Immediately.

Her limbs trembled slightly and not in the good you-make-my-knees-weak kind of way. She was scared. Nervous. I didn’t want her to feel that way in my arms. Ever. “What is it, Stella? Are you okay?”

Her quiet response was hard to make out, but I got my answer from her lack of eye contact.

Pivoting so I could face her, I fingered her long hair, coaxing her to let me in. “Talk to me.”

Stella took a gulp and closed her eyes. “When I told you in the car I’d never done this before, I meant sex, Jack. I’ve never slept with a guy before.”

Oh!
I can’t say it didn’t shock me. She was a little younger, definitely more innocent, and so much more refined than any of the women I’d ever been with, but I still hadn’t pegged her—this woman who was the
whole
sexy package—to be untouched, in that way.

Opting out of lightening the moment with the kind of sarcasm that had grown so easy between the two of us, I looked into her eyes and spoke the truth. Stella’s warmth infused me the way sunshine brightened the sky. I couldn’t lie—I was fucking blown away that my girl was still a virgin, but I shouldn’t have been. She was beautiful and tempting, but oh so pure.

Her brow arched; her lips formed a tight line. It may have sounded like a back handed compliment, but it wasn’t. Stella was pure in every sense of the word and I wasn’t about to ruin that for her. I cared for her, and it wasn’t only about getting in her pants and feeding this rabid hunger that overtook me when I was around her. Now it was about letting her in on the secret. I wanted her to be mine. Far away or right beside me. I’d make this work because she was worth it. “We can wait. I won’t take that from you until you’re sure.
If
you’re sure. For now, this is enough, Stella. Being here with you is always enough.”

Her eyelids fluttered, reminding me of the delicate wings of a butterfly. The smile that crept on her lips brightened her face and washed all the worry away. Whoever had said
honesty is the best policy
was a fucking genius.

“You really mean that, Jack? You’re not . . . mad?” She tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear, swallowing hard.

“Why would I be mad?”

“I don’t know, because you’re a guy. And here I am giving you the impression that I’m about to sleep with you and now you’re probably . . .” She looked down at my crotch and her cheeks turned a subtle shade of pretty-in-pink.

“Frustrated?” I suggested. That was one way of explaining the raging case of blue balls, but she didn’t need to feel bad about making the decision that was right for her. I commended her for having a level head in such a heated moment. That was one of the reasons the world would be a better place if women ran the show.

Dipping her head into the crook of my neck again, laughter shook her body. Her soft breath coated my overstimulated skin. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I feel like such an idiot.”

“Please don’t. We’re fine.
I’m
fine. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Releasing a soft puff of air, she said sadly, “But I am.”

I hated her quick wit and her intelligent mind for coming up with something so accurate on cue. The girl was stubborn, I had to give her that, but she wasn’t indecisive. New York was what she wanted. Who was I to take that from her? But in the little time we had left, I’d make it my mission to show her she wanted
me
too.

Wrapping my arms around her, I cradled her close where I wanted her worries about the future and what came next to melt away. My arms could be her safe place. But all my protection in the world wasn’t strong enough to guard what I worried about most.

Our hearts.

Stella

The rest of my night with Jack was wonderful. The kind of wonderful that made you prance and twirl around your house singing from the rafters. Apparently, I’d been belting out
American Idol
audition style because when I closed the refrigerator door and spun around, Nina gawked behind me with her hands on her hips.

“Wanna keep it down, Taylor?” I wasn’t sure if it was my poor attempt at sounding like Miss Swift or the dislike my sister had for the pop-star that caused Nina’s irritation.

“Oops, sorry. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

Pushing past me to re-open the fridge, Nina shook her head. “No, I was packing—like
you
should be—but Prince Charming in there passed out an hour ago and I got tired of listening to him snore.”

Giggling as I sipped from my water bottle, I decided it might be a good time to solicit some sisterly advice. Nina and I had many differences, but when it came down to it she was the person I trusted most with anything. Especially my heart.

“Speaking of Prince Charming, you have a few minutes?”

Nina narrowed her almond shaped eyes, and scowled. “I already don’t like the sound of this. Your face has bad news written all over it.” On further inspection of the giddiness I must’ve exuded, the light bulb popped on over her messy bun. “Actually, you’ve got lovesick puppy smeared across your face! What gives? Is this about Jack?”

There were often times I didn’t even have to speak for Nina to know what was up. This was one of them. I wasn’t sure if that
was
or
wasn’t
to my advantage this time.

“Yes, it’s about Jack.” It was impossible to say his name without smiling. Just the thought of him made my body warm and alert. He’d found a way to do the unthinkable—make me second guess
everything.
And I needed to talk to Nina about what that meant.

Pulling my hand, she dragged me to the living area and pounced onto the couch, patting the cushion next to her.

When I didn’t immediately succumb, she tugged my arm again and I fell onto the couch and into her trap.

“You slept with him, didn’t you? What were you thinking, Stells? You’re leaving soon. This can’t end well. You have to know that!”

I wanted to curse her for assuming the worst, but what stood out from her fast-fired warnings and mother-like scolding was what she said about it ending. The idea of an end to me and Jack made my stomach queasy. “Why does it have to end at all, Nina?”

“Because you’re
leaving
! Don’t tell me he’s as crazy as his best friend and offered to come with us!” Nina could misconstrue anything into a Lifetime network drama.

“No, you ass. He’s not coming with us. Although, I hadn’t even thought about . . .” I trailed off. Would it be the worst idea in the history of stupid ideas to even suggest such a thing?

“Stella! You’ve known him for less than a week. Are you mentally unwell? The sex has to be off the freaking charts if you’re even considering—”

“Calm down! I didn’t sleep with him . . . yet.”

“
What?
” For some reason, her reaction made me angrier. Wasn’t it a good thing that I hadn’t given up my innocence to a man I’d only known seven days? Crap, I was losing this battle and confusing myself more. Not what I wanted to gain from this Nina-lashing.

“You haven’t even had sex with the guy and you’re ready to throw it all away?”

Did my own twin have that little faith in me? Now I was defensive. “Throw what away, Nina? You’re jumping to conclusions.” I started to rise from the couch, I couldn’t listen to anymore of her uninformed criticism, but she pulled me back down to her and placed a reassuring hand on my knee.

“I’m sorry, Stells. I didn’t mean to act like a bitch. You can talk to me. It’s just . . . I can see the look on your face. I’ve noticed how you’ve been acting the last few days and I’m worried for you.”

I was worried for me too. How had this happened? I was losing my grip on reality. That wasn’t me. “Why did this have to happen now, Neen? It’s so unfair.” For the first time all night, I wanted to cry. I was nothing but happy—euphoric even—during my date with Jack this evening. I was preoccupied with kissing and laughing and living in the moment. I’d forgotten to think about the consequences—again, so unlike me. But now I was in too deep and I needed to figure out a way to get everything I wanted without abandoning my well-thought-out plans.

My sister wrapped a loving arm around me and I lay my head against her shoulder. I was usually the one with the sound advice, the maternal one. The one who came up with the plan that got us out of a dilemma or solved the impossible. This time, that job fell on Nina. I didn’t have it in me to weigh out my options and make a decision. I wasn’t thinking clearly. My heart was in charge right now, and if I allowed this fleeting moment of happiness to win over what was logically right for my future I’d be doomed. Love was
not
the answer to everything. I wasn’t a cynic but I also wasn’t stupid. I’d seen enough turmoil unfold around me to know that life wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns.

“Let it play out, Stells. It’s all you can do. You’ll know what you need to do. You’ve always made the right decision in the past. Why should this be any different?”

Nina’s response reminded me of what Jack said on the beach about letting it go. It sounded simple enough, but matters of the heart never were. I was certain I had a solid life ahead of me in New York. There was no denying that. My uncertainty lay in my feelings for Jack and the strength of those emotions. Was I caught up in the moment? Or was this the real thing? How could I be sure? “Nina, I’ve never felt this way before.” There was my answer. Plain as day.

“I can tell. He must be amazing, Stells.” Her features softened. She was no longer a reprimanding lecturer, but now a curious sister.

“He is. He’s so charming and sweet and just . . . perfect.” I sounded like all those lovesick girls I used to gag at. Like Nina when she first met Ryan! This kind of reaction used to win an eye roll from me, and now here I sat doing my own pathetic drooling. Suddenly it didn’t seem so pathetic.
Now
I understood.

“Can I ask something without you judging me? Like, I want the same advice you’d give a friend. Not something you think I want to hear or something that sounds right. Real, honest truth. Okay?”

“Sheesh, Stells. I get it. Spit it out already.”

It seemed so childish, but some juvenile part of me needed to say it out loud. “I want him to be my first. Is that crazy? Is it a recipe for disaster?”

Nina thought long and hard before focusing her attention on my squirming hands. I couldn’t sit still. I hadn’t wanted approval from my sister in so long. I needed guidance more than ever.

When she brought her eyes up to mine I thought I’d combust from fear of scrutiny, but there was only empathy written on her face. It set me at ease. “I can’t tell you what to do with that part of you, babe.
Shit!
I wished I’d consulted
you
before I gave it up to that dumbass jock back in high school, but that’s how we’re different. I’m more spontaneous, less calculated. That works for me. You . . . not so much. But when it comes to the way you feel about a guy, you can’t plan out every detail, Stells. You have feelings for Jack and you’re not an immature teenager acting on a whim. You’re an adult, and if you sleep with him, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve never seen you like this, unless you’ve hidden it from me—and I doubt that. This is the first time you’ve even
considered
this with a guy. That should tell you something, right?”