Fractured (The Volkov Mafia Series Book 3) (19 page)

“He’s been good, spending time with Anya and Faith, he had his feed and bath then was out like a light.” She tells me the events of his day and a deep pain burns through my chest. That yet again I’m the one who has been pulled away from them, it could be one day or a week I don’t know. Damien won’t leave until we make sure everyone is destroyed.

I want to guide this conversation to a lighter mood, my thoughts becoming darker. The months of pain and regret, that I couldn’t be there to support her, or bond with Charlie.

All I had in the darker times were the visits I made to Andrew’s grave. Even though it pained me to sit there and talk to him, it was the only way I felt the connection to my family.

“So what else did you girls talk about then?” I hear her Umm through the phone as if not wanting to tell me something.

“Oh you know just girly stuff, baby talk, and just general chit chat.” She says to me, trying to lighten her tone, I’m suspicious but I will let it lie for now. What I really want to do is get some sleep I want to be at my best tomorrow so that my mind is clear and my body is rested, that way I know I will be on my best game more chance of getting home in one piece that way.

“Right I am going to let you go babe, I need to get some sleep, enjoy the rest of your night and I will see you real soon.” I tell her, making sure she heard me. That I will do everything I can to get home to her.

“Ok Malc, ring me when you can so I don’t worry too much. Oh and Malcolm? You had better come home to me because if you don’t, well I’m not saying, but it will be much worse than you face there if you don’t find your way back home.” I want to chuckle at her little threat; this pixie of a woman has more fight in her than she thinks. She would find me, bring me back to life just so she could kill me all over again.

“I love you Camilla, night.”

“I love you to Malc.” My heart pounds at her softly spoken words, when I don’t hear another sound I know the call has been disconnected.

I set my alarm on my phone and place it at the side of the bed, stripping off; I climb into bed and drift off with only thoughts of Camilla and Charlie filling my head.

Cami

I had to end the call, I was about to fall to bits and just beg him to come back to me. To ask him to drop everything and run home to me, but I knew I couldn’t.

Lilly and Faith look at me, on the couches that we’re sat on in the living room, Lilly has really changed her attitude towards Alekzander since he came home from the hospital. She’s been caring for him, cooking his meals making sure he has been taking his medicine on time. She is selfless. I think the thought that his mother had been killed by that god awful gang that hurt Alekzander was enough for her to realise that he needs someone right now, and who better than the woman who had his father’s love.

“You ok Cami?” Faith’s voice brings me back to the here and now.

“Yeah sorry, just the worry is starting to get to me now, I am scared shitless that he won’t come home, that something is going to happen to him.” I am open in my words I don’t need to mask what I say to Faith, I never have, and never will.

“They will be fine, Cami. Have a little trust that they know what they are doing. That they’ll get the job done.” I really don’t know how the cracks are not showing. How does she do it? I know Faith, she will hold it all together and then when he gets home she’ll kick his arse.

Before I can answer Faiths phone rings and she quickly stands up leaving the room to answer it.

“I’m scared too.” Lilly whispers.

“You’re bound to be scared Lilly, but you know Damien will be ok, Malc won’t let anything happen to him.” I reassure her.

“It’s not just Damien I’m worried about. Let me tell you a little story Cami.” Her cryptic words confuse me for a second before I realise that I need to respond. I nod my head, letting her know that she can tell me, and I will listen.

“I’ll start right at the beginning. I met Viktor and Anton in a bar in London, I was out with the girls after work on a Friday night, he was stunning.” She pauses for a second deciding whether or not to carry on with her tale, I can’t imagine what Viktor was like. How he could do what he did to his own daughter, is beyond me. She was his flesh and blood, but then again he left a woman in Russia carrying his child, so I don’t think all that highly of him.

“Anton was stunning, he took my breath away, made all these feelings surface that I hadn’t felt for a man before.” I must be sat with my mouth open wide, gaping at her. I thought she was talking about Viktor.

“We all started chatting and it was obvious that Viktor liked me too. Anton pulled back and let him lead what was happening. One thing lead to another and I found myself in bed with Viktor, we were married not long after, and the next thing I knew Damien was on the way, I tried over the months to push my desire for Anton down, I really did. Anyway, it was about three months after Damien was born; Viktor had left the house to go and see to business in London and was staying the night, he left Anton to stay with Damien and me.” I knew they’d had feelings for each other, but I thought they’d developed after Viktor had died.

“I had put Damien to bed, we were sat in the living room having a drink while discussing the party that was being held at the house the following weekend. He kissed me with so much passion that I melted against him, he whispered that he had been waiting to do that since the first time he saw me, I told him how I felt about him that I wanted him. He made love to me that night, and I swear I have never felt anything for anyone else since he stole my heart that day.”

What the fuck, why is she telling me this?

“Eight weeks later I found out I was pregnant I knew it was Anton’s because I hadn’t slept with Viktor since before Damien was born.”

Oh fuck! Was Bella Anton’s daughter? I can’t believe what I’m hearing right now. I let her know with my expression to carry on, I want to know everything.

“Viktor, found out and made me tell him who it was, he threatened to beat the child out of me if I didn’t, so I told him. He saw red and beat Anton to within an inch of his life, but he was just becoming something in this world and he needed Anton’s skills. So he let him live, knowing that I would carry his baby and he would still have to work for him and love me from afar. But that’s not the worst part. Over the next months as I stated to bond with our child Viktor became cruel, he could never let me go. How would it look if a mafia bosses’ wife left him for his number one? So he kept me hidden in Surrey, having a doctor come out to see me, he would even let Anton come to me, or let me tell him anything in regards to the baby.” I waited for Lilly to wipe her tears from her eyes. I want to know what happened. Does Damien know?

“I had the baby and I was only able to spend half an hour with him, before Viktor came in dragging Anton by the scruff of his neck. He ripped the child from my arms, and shoved the baby into Anton’s arms and told him to take his mistake and he could raise the child alone. That I would be having nothing to do with it. I cried myself to sleep that night. My beautiful little boy was ripped from my arms and I wasn’t allowed to love him. I had to watch him grow up right in front of me, and we had to follow what Viktor demanded or he would have killed us all. He had to keep up appearances. I watched Malc grow into the man he is today, and he doesn’t even know that I’m his mother, that Damien is his half-brother.”

I’m fucking speechless! What do you say to something like that? Malc’s world is about to be blown apart again.

“Why didn’t you tell him when Viktor had passed, why keep it all these years? I question her, hoping that she has an answer for me. I don’t want to fall out with Lilly, but if it’s a choice between her and Malc he wins every time.

“I have no real excuse, but I do have a reason. I had just lost Bella; I didn’t want to risk losing Damien and Malc as well. Even though he never knew, I always loved him. I could never stop myself from looking into his eyes and seeing me and his dad, what we had made out of love, I knew that Anton worshipped the ground his son walked, he had everything he could ever need. And I was ok with that.”

All of the suffering that Lily has been through is evident. I can see it and I can almost understand it, but I can’t condone it. Malc had years of believing that his mother died, that his dad couldn’t go back to Russia because of that fact. That he has lost the love of his life, but no this was Viktor Volkovs’ work. He wouldn’t let them leave; he wanted to keep them trapped in hell. Each of them only half living.

“You do understand that he will hate you all for this. You kept the one thing he needed from him.” I chastise her.

“Don’t you think I know that? I had to watch him for months when you left him and none of us knew why he was broken and I couldn’t even reach out to him and tell him it was going to be ok. That we could fix it. Then I got a call of Anton, when he found out that you were back and that you had a child, I was elated that I had another grandchild, but then my heart broke that I had to hide that as well. I knew what you had been through Cami, I didn’t want to make it worse so I kept quiet. Stealing glances at him from a far. You know what’s worse? When I found out that you had lost Andrew, I wanted to make you whole. I wanted to help you with your grief and suffering but I wasn’t able to.” Her words are genuine you can see it. The love, the heartache, the pain. I want to tell her it will all work out in the end but I don’t want to give her false hope.

“I can’t keep this from him Lilly, what sort of wife would I be if I did? I won’t lose him over your secret.” I can’t keep it from him, he deserves better.

“I know you can’t, and I don’t expect you to. Just promise me one thing? When he does find out, don’t run from him because he will need you.” With her last words she pats her eyes dry and gets up to leave the room, walking straight into the tear streaked face of Faith.

“Does Damien know?” she asks her through, her sobs.

“No, not yet, Anton is going to tell them both. I don’t know when but I told him it has to come out.”

“After everything that we have been through why did you feel you couldn’t confide in me Lilly? I love you like a mother.” She sounds upset and hurt, when she asks Lilly why.

“Because I couldn’t let you love him while holding on to my secret it wouldn’t be fair on you or Damien.” Faith looks to her hand that is clutched tight holding on to her phone, she realises that she is still connected, to whoever was on the other line. Lilly visibly pales and falls to the floor sobbing, Faith brings the phone to her ears, listening for the voice on the other end.

“We will talk tomorrow, moya lyubov.”  She nods and the shuts of the phone.

She had gotten that lost in the story that she had forgotten what she came into the room for and but by then it was too late.

Damien knows about Malc. Shit! This is going to be one hell of a shit storm.

After we get Lilly calmed down, we take her to her room and get her settled in to bed. She is wiped out pretty quickly, the emotional roller-coaster she has been on has drained her emotionally.

Faith and I step back into the kitchen. I flip the switch on the kettle, Faith pulls the cups out of the cupboard and I grab the milk from the fridge nothing like a cup of tea to make things seem better.

“Well that’s not what I expected tonight, what about you?” she asks me.

“I’m the same as you, flabbergasted, but there is one little good point I did pick up on, we’re sisters now.” I say with a giddy hint in my voice, anything to make this situation better.

“How will they move past this Cami?” all I can do is answer honestly.

“I don’t know Faith, but all we can do is be there to patch them up and pick up the pieces.” I tell her, I don’t know where this strength is coming from, but I will be there for him, for them all.

“You’re right, what else can we do? I just hope this doesn’t fuck up the mission, the last thing they need is to start hashing this out right now. I just hope Damien has enough common sense to keep it quiet until it’s over.” Her words bring a new sense of panic. Shit! What if this fucks up everything they’ve planned and it all goes wrong? No I can’t think like that; they’re grown men who know what it takes to get the job done.

“I am going to bed, it’s been a long, emotional day and I just want to get some sleep. Try not to dwell on this until it happens.”

I lean in and kiss her on the cheek as she says goodnight to me and I head up the stairs to our room. I have been a lot better since I have been in this house the past week, I don’t let it get to me as much, that Jake roamed the halls. I know he can’t hurt me anymore, it’s the memories that you have to try and fight. They’re what eats away at your soul, consuming every thought, but with everything else that has been going on I haven’t had time to let it get to me. I know I can do this with the proper support, I can get through this, I’m not alone. I have Malc, Faith and Damien to get me through. We will just all have to be there for each other in the coming months, this journey is going to take is all on a new path and nothing will ever be the same again.