FRACTURED (29 page)

“I'll text you when I arrive,” he said, cupping my face in his hand. “I don't expect this to take long. With Tobias dead, all we have to do is round up the remaining pack members and put the pieces together.”

I knew “round up” was a euphemism, but I let it be. Sean's hands would always be dirty in one way or another. It was part of who he was. If I wanted to be with him, it was a part I needed to accept.

“Cooper,” he said, turning to find him leaning against the far wall of the landing. “I'm trusting you to keep her safe.”

“Always,” he drawled, looking bored with Sean's comment.

“I entrust Ruby to no one, but I'm entrusting her to you. Do you understand me?” Sean asked through the doorway. Cooper pushed off of the wall, standing militantly straight. “Do not fail me on this.”

The two eyed each other menacingly, but there was something else in their gazes―a respect. They might never like each other, be drinking buddies, or even be remotely cordial to one another, but there was an understanding. Their bond was through me, each knowing that, no matter what, the other would put my life above his. Maybe that was all those two were ever going to need.

Cooper nodded once, and with that, Sean disappeared down the stairs on his mission to kick ass across the pond. I felt bad for those still breathing over there. They were in for an unpleasant encounter very soon.

“So,” Cooper said, coming inside the apartment. “I'm not really up for a total rehashing of events, but I am up for a drink. Anyone else interested?”

The UK trio unanimously agreed, so I caved. It had to be close to two in the morning, but we were all so wired that it was clear that nobody would be sleeping.

“Movie?” I asked, arching an eyebrow inquisitively at him.

He grinned in response.

“I'll start the popcorn.”

28

Janner, Cooper, Beckett, and I all scrunched together on the floor in front of the couch, allowing Alistair to stretch his wounded body out on the sofa. He seemed almost back to normal, but I think he was milking it for all it was worth. We indulged him anyway.

Cooper was relatively tight-lipped about what had happened to Alistair during the fight, but I could tell he was proud. All he would tell me was that Ali had made good on his promise to me, attacking Tobias the second he mentioned my name. Outgunned and outclassed, the youngest of the wolves may not have always been the smartest, but he was brave beyond measure.

Forty-five minutes into the movie, my butt was falling asleep. All the toss cushions had already been bogarted, so I got up and climbed over Cooper to head for my bedroom. As I walked past the bathroom, Alistair emerged from what had to have been his third trip. He had the bladder of a five-year-old girl.

“Ruby,” he said, catching my arm lightly. His energy was yet again impossible to read.

“Yeah, Ali. What's up?”

“I'm sorry for the pain we've brought you. We really never intended for it to happen.”

I smiled and gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

“I know you didn't. I've met enough madmen in my life to know that nobody can plan for what they'll do next. Typically, they'll go to whatever lengths necessary to get what they want. Their egos won't settle for defeat,” I told him earnestly. “But dead guys don't usually have big egos.”

I smiled until I thought about what I'd said, Gregory's image flashing through my mind. “Okay, maybe that's a bad example, but you know what I'm saying.”

“In a most disturbing way, I do,” he replied, before making his way down the hall. His limp was barely visible, but I'd had a few drinks so it was possible that I wasn't the best judge.

When I reached for the doorknob to my room, I missed entirely.

Everything in front of me started to merge together, and I blinked furiously to try and focus. It faded in and out while I carefully walked to my bed. Thankfully, Sean's specialist left my room cleaner than I had so I didn't have to contend with floor snipers along the way.

“Cooper,” I called, sitting down on the edge of the bed, “I think I'm going to call it a night. I'm wicked buzzed already, and it's making my head spin. I'll see you guys in the morning.”

He walked in through the bedroom door moments later. He looked like a blurry mess.

“You okay?” he asked, standing next to my bed.

“Yep. Just drunk and tired.”

“But you only had one beer,” he replied questioningly.

“And apparently not enough food or water, but I'm too tired to remedy that. I just want to sleep it off.”

“If you say so.” He hesitated beside me for a moment before bending over to kiss my forehead. “I'll check on you in the morning before we leave.”

“Where are you going?” I asked, feeling totally out of the loop.

“The boys found a place outside of town. We're going to go check it out.”

“Really? Even after all of this?”

“They need their own space, Rubes. There's no bathroom up there.

No rooms. They can't stay up there forever; besides, it's your studio. You used to love to dance up there.”

“Ugh. I so don't want to talk about dance right now,” I grumbled.

Dance was still a touchy subject for me. Dance equaled Matty, and after killing him, that equation no longer worked.

“Fine, but we're still going. If you're up before we leave, you can come. Otherwise, I'll see you later.”

“Sounds good,” I replied, closing my eyes to black out my drunken vision. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Rubes.”

He gently closed the door, leaving me alone to try and get a hold of myself. My physical health had been deteriorating for months due to my neglectful ways, my circumstances never quite lending themselves to excellent self-care. But even taking that into consideration, it seemed to be getting exponentially worse at a far more alarming rate. I needed to get a handle on things before I literally started to fall apart. With my supernatural status in a state of flux, I wondered if that left me more vulnerable to human disease. I didn't have time for migraines, insomnia, or brain tumors, so I hoped that wasn't the case.

While I fretted about the possibilities, I felt an oddly familiar sensation around me. It frightened me at first until I realized what it was―or more specifically, who it was.

“Matty?” I called out.

I received no response. Without Peyta nearby, I couldn't see him or hear him, but I could definitely sense him.

“I miss you...,” I whispered, not wanting Cooper to overhear me. “I wish I could talk to you right now. You were always so good to talk to when I needed it.”

Silence.

“Ever since that night...the night you died, my life has been a total mess. I feel like everything is falling apart and I have no clue what to do about it. When I used to need to clear my head, I would dance, but now...”

I let my words trail off while I stared at the darkness in my room. The truth was I didn't want to dance anymore. Not without him.

“I like knowing that you're here right now. Is that weird? It seems a little creepy but it's true. I like knowing that you're still with me in some way. That you're watching out for me.” I paused in an attempt to stifle the emotions that surged at my sentiments. I really did feel better with him around. I always had. “You were always watching out for me, Matty.

Don't think that I didn't notice.”

Suddenly, I felt his energy fading and I was struck with an instant sense of panic.

“Not yet!” I said more loudly than I should have before lowering my voice to a faint whisper yet again. “Please. Just stay until I fall asleep...if you can. Please?”

Though his essence never fully regained its previous strength, it didn't disappear. As my mind quieted, I drifted off to peaceful sleep, knowing that I had Matty near me. Peyta had said that she couldn't tell how long he had before he faded, so I selfishly wanted to enjoy those moments while I could.

I knew there would come a time when they too would fade.

*

The next morning, I flopped over in bed, eyes still closed, luxuriating in the feel of a good night's sleep. It had been eons since I'd had one, and I just wasn't quite ready to give up the welcome sensation it brought with it―the feeling that everything was right as rain. When I opened my eyes, I realized just how cloudy the forecast actually was.

The room looked fuzzy and fragmented, so I rubbed my eyes, thinking that the prior evening's alcohol plus my sleeping overindulgence had led to eye boogers the size of Texas distorting my vision. No such good luck. With several attempts to clear my sight, I was no better off.

I could see light as well as objects, but everything around me had taken on a poorly delineated shape, looking more like amorphous masses than sharply edged furniture. Stunned, I stumbled my way out of bed, tripping on something―most likely my shoes, which I'd kicked off hours earlier―cluttering the floor. I expected Cooper to come running, but he didn't. He and the boys must have already left for the day.

To curb my growing panic, I closed my eyes and tried to just breathe while I cursed my inability to put things away rather than scatter them around my room. As I did, something tugged at my mind. A memory I'd long ago tried to repress came crashing to my consciousness.

Their voices woke me from my sleep late in the evening. They so
rarely fought with one another that I found myself compelled to hear what
had caused them to do so.

“It hardly matters now, Robert,” my mother sneered, the sound of a
glass shattering in the sink punctuating her remark.

“Sheila, please. You know we had little choice in the matter. It’s
done. There's no sense in dwelling on it years after the fact.”

“But I feel so
trapped,”
she continued, completely ignoring him.

“Our lives were so much simpler before...”

“I know they were, but what else could we have done? We couldn’t
have given her away. You
know
that wasn’t an option.”

“We should never have listened to him,” my mother lamented
quietly as I pressed into the hallway further, unable to ignore what they
were saying.

“Listened? That’s hardly what we did, and you know it. We had no
choice in the matter—he made damn sure of that,” my father said with a
growl. “He’ll answer for his treachery eventually, but for now, we
proceed as we have. She’ll be out of our hair soon enough. What’s
another decade or two?”

“An eternity,” my mother snapped at him.

“You’re being dramatic, Shanley...”

“Do NOT call me by that name. That woman is gone now. He’s made
certain of that too.” She stomped through the kitchen, rifling through
cabinets and slamming drawers. I listened intently to the familiar sounds
of her frustration—she always cleaned when she was upset.

“A few more years,” my father said softly, halting my mother’s
endeavors. “When Ruby is gone, we can go back to the life we had. We
can go wherever you want...do whatever you want to do. I promise. But
for now, she is our charge, and we will respectfully fulfill that duty until
it is no longer ours. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” she growled quietly, “but keep her away from me until that
day is upon us. I never wanted any part in her being here, and nothing
you say will ever change that. All she does is drag us down—she’s a
death sentence.”

I retreated back to the safety of my room, tripping on something
hard and plastic in my haste. After climbing back into bed, I mulled over
what I'd heard, wondering how I could possibly make life easier for them

—how to make myself less of a burden. It was painful to hear that your
existence was not only problematic for your parents, but also unwanted.

In that moment I made a conscious decision to do whatever I could to
lessen the offense that my presence created.

In the wee hours of the morning, long after my parents had gone to
sleep, I pulled myself out of bed and crawled methodically around my
room, picking up the various items that lay strewn about it. I was far from
a neat child. In the darkness of my world, I smiled to myself knowing that
surely a tidy room would help my parents see that I was not at all the
albatross they thought I was. I would make myself lovable to them.

If only that was all it would have taken. The answers to life were always far simpler the younger I was, and at seven they were positively black and white. No wonder I had forgotten about that day.

It was easy to see why.

I felt around the floor for the rogue shoe that had tripped me and chucked it at the door, letting out a scream as I did. I didn't want to go back to being anyone's burden―never again. Blindness was just another cage.

*

Cooper didn't answer any of my calls, which meant he'd left his phone in the car. I chucked mine across the room out of frustration. I was going to have to wait not-so-patiently for him to get it before I'd be hearing back. The situation didn't thrill me, but I lacked options. Sean was gone, and I didn't see the point in calling him in full-on freak-out mode about something he couldn't address from overseas. I decided that I would call him as a last resort.

I was frustrated with my situation, wondering how, once again, I found myself in a vulnerable situation, needing the aid of someone else.

Scarlet had seemingly abandoned me, leaving me to fend for myself.

Arianna was long gone, which was really for the best. She'd been my constant companion through my life―my human life. As painful as it was to admit to myself, it was likely best that she wasn't around me anymore. She could shelter me from my parents and the harshness of being a disabled person in the real world, but my new reality wasn't well suited to humans. She wouldn't have survived long.

Before I could let my mind wander too far down roads best left untraveled, I started fumbling around my room in an effort to relocate my phone. It took me forever to find it, and even longer to locate the voice command function on it, but I was finally able to call Gavin. I wasn't excited to tell him about my predicament, but there was no avoiding that one. We had scheduled our meeting for that morning, and I couldn't very well make my way through downtown unaided. I had to let him know that our arrangement needed to change.