Forward Passes (Seattle Lumberjacks) (25 page)

Tyler looked at her, his eyes misty with unshed tears. He shook his head, as if still in denial Ryan had died. “I think I used all my try in that game because after it was over every ounce of emotion drained out of me and left this big, empty hole nothing could fill. Not football. Not friends. Not women. Nothing.”

She opened her mouth to talk but he held up a hand to silence her. Tyler faced her, taking both her hands in his. He stared at her as if he’d never really seen her before. Tenderness shone in his eyes and left her lightheaded. “Until I met you.”

Lavender choked with sadness and pride for this stubborn, wonderful man. “Tyler, I—”

“No, listen. At first, you flat-out pissed me off, but at least it was something. Then there was the lust. Now that was really something.” He almost smiled. “But somewhere along the line it became so much more than that. More than I bargained for. You gave me back a piece of what was missing. You made me see that even though I don’t put my life on the line, I can still make a difference. I can influence so many people. I can be the man my father always wanted me to be. You did that for me. You gave me purpose.”

“I’m happy for you, but I didn’t do it. You did that for yourself.”

“No, you showed the way, like a beacon in the night. You’re good for me. I like having you around.”

“This ends when you leave the island.” Lavender held her breath, prayed for an argument from him, a declaration of how much she meant. He wanted her in his bed and to be his companion, but love didn’t enter into it. She couldn’t be with him on a long-term basis if he didn’t love her. She needed so much more from him than he was willing to give because somewhere in the past few months she’d fallen in love with him despite her best intentions and denial no longer made the feelings go away.

It was what it was.

“We don’t have to end it.” His hopeful expression almost changed her mind, but she stuck to her guns.

“No, you were right the first time. We’ve been down this road before. It won’t work for so many reasons. Let’s start with location and end with family—as in mine can’t stand you.” Even as she outlined all the reasons it wouldn’t work, she hoped he’d convince her it would, but he didn’t.

Tyler focused his gaze back on the water. The moonlight reflected off his handsome face, which seemed to have turned to granite once more.

Lavender buried her face in his tense shoulder and wished life could be different, that somehow a little island magic could survive and show them the way.

She didn’t know how that could be possible.

* * * * *

Tyler sighed and tucked Lavender against his side. He closed his eyes and let his intuition make the decision. The answer came through loud and clear. He wanted to keep Lavender in his life. For how long, he didn’t know.

He thought he loved her but couldn’t say the words. Not yet. Not until he was sure.

Sure, he’d resisted and been the one to insist their relationship had to end, but this wouldn’t be the first time he changed his game plan when the pending outcome didn’t work for him. He didn’t want to let her go. He’d been stubborn and stupid. For once, he’d take the emotional risk and lay it on the line tomorrow night on Lavender’s birthday.

Fate dealt him an odd hand. What better way to celebrate the end of his exile and the beginning or something new than to give Lavender the best gift he could think of and one money couldn’t buy? He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face. She’d steered him back onto the right path, he’d give her the one thing she wanted most.

Tonight was theirs. Tomorrow night belonged to their future. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Oh, she’d be pissed, but she’d get over it. It’d all work out because he’d make it work out, just like he’d made the team win games by carrying them on his back. He was a strong guy. He could handle it.

Since nothing he said seemed to come out right, tonight he’d show her how much she meant to him in the only way he knew how.

Lifting her chin with a finger, he stared down at her. The sadness in her eyes struck him like a blow to his heart. She’d accepted their fate, he hadn’t and wouldn’t. Not without a fight.

He brought his mouth down to hers. Soft and gentle, he moved his lips across hers. With feather light kisses he tasted her, breathed in the lavender scent surrounding her as it mingled with the fresh scent of the islands. Scents he’d never forget. They whirled around him like a magical spell, absorbing his cynicism and creating a soft layer of comfort and belonging. He hadn’t belonged anywhere in a long time, but he did here.

Water lapped against the pilings of the dock and rocked them gently. She opened her mouth, and he accepted the invitation. When she tried to ratchet up the desire, he held back. Tonight wasn’t about animal lust; it was about tender, sweet emotions. Holding her face between his two hands, he took his time tasting her lips, exploring her mouth, teasing her tongue. She pressed against him, wanting more just like he wanted more. Just not the kind of “more” she assumed he wanted.

He’d lower his defenses, show her how much she meant to him because the words wouldn’t do his feelings justice.

Tyler lay her down on the blanket, pushed up her sweater, unhooked her bra. Freeing her nipples, he bent to the task. She moaned underneath him as he slowly kissed his way from her neck to her nipples, like a connoisseur of fine wine, he took his time. Her soft skin felt like satin against his tongue. Her sweet scent filled his nostrils and gave him a heady thrill. Closing her eyes, Lavender wriggled and threaded her fingers through his hair. She tried to push him into something harder and faster, but not tonight. Nope, tonight was all about slow and easy.

Tonight was about them.

Tyler
sought her mouth, his kisses gentle, yet powerful. She held him close. Her legs wrapped around his waist. Her heels dug into his butt. He floated on a cloud somewhere, as the dock swayed. He slipped his tongue in her mouth and explored the moist recesses.

Sliding his hands down her sides, he fumbled for the button on her jeans, unfastened it, and pulled down her zipper. She helped him out by lifting her ass off the blanket and pulling her jeans down those shapely legs of hers. He slid her underwear off and sat back on his heels. Damn, but she was a fine sight in the light of the moon.

She gazed up at him. Her eyes sparkled with a sheer joy of living. His lips kicked up into an answering smile.

“You next, jock boy.”

Tyler nodded and shucked his own jeans and underwear in a single move. He slipped the condom out of his pocket and slid it onto his rock-hard cock. He lowered his body over hers and slid his cock into her with excruciating slowness. He set a leisurely pace, determined to keep it gentle and show her what tender really felt like. He controlled his breathing at the same pace as his measured thrusts. Her walls hugged his erection, milked it, coaxed him to go faster. Tyler resisted. He stayed with the pace he’d set. Almost completely out then slide back in with deliberate, unhurried strokes. Then he’d hold himself deep inside for a beat. Or two. Or three. And start the process all over again.

He strummed her body with sensuous music like a well-played violin. He stroked her in places he’d never tried before. Her body told him all he needed to know. A thin, silken thread joined them, united them. One mind. One body. One mind-blowing natural high.

Oh, man, he’d never felt such a connection to another living being. Not like this. Her breathing became his breathing. Her needs were his wants. Her body mirrored his body. Their blood mingled and flowed in each other’s veins.

They clung to each other, heading to the stars and beyond. As he thrust a final time, and his released followed, he took her with him. They floated away, wrapped in bliss and contentment.

This was it, that thing his parents had together for so many years, that piece of life he’d assumed would always elude him. Yet, here it was.

With Lavender.

Chapter 26

Clashing Helmets

The next night Lavender opened the door to her little house. Tyler dwarfed her entryway with his size and presence. Outside, rain battered the single-paned windows, while wind rattled the walls. Water dripped down Tyler’s face and matted his hair to his head.

She couldn’t stop the huge smile on her face. She’d never been one to take sex slow and gentle, but after last night, hard and raunchy might be vastly overrated. He’d shown her a place she’d never imagined existed, swept her into an ecstasy so sensual she felt as if they’d left their bodies and the earth behind. For a moment that lasted forever, yet didn’t last long enough, she bonded with Tyler, soul to soul. She saw his hopes, his fears, his dreams, and she knew him like she’d never known anyone.

Then it was over.

And she wished that it could work, wished they could find a way to make it work. A girl shouldn’t give up on chemistry like this. And now it was her birthday and his ninetieth day, both causes for celebration and mourning. He’d be free to leave now.

Lavender threw her arms around the waist of the gorgeous man gracing her doorway. “Hi, baby, I missed you.”

He grinned, as he literally bounced on the balls of his feet. “It’s only been what a few hours or so.”

“Too long.” She sounded like a sappy teenager in the first throes of puppy love, but she didn’t give a shit.

“Happy birthday, Lavender. I have a surprise for you.”

She caught a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. Holding her breath, she almost expected him to drop to one knee and profess his undying love like any good prince charming. Only Tyler didn’t drop to one knee, didn’t turn into a fairy tale prince. Instead, he moved to one side.

And her prince became the worst kind of frog.

Lavender looked beyond Tyler to the man who stood behind him on her front porch. Her stomach lurched. Her knees wobbled. He heart stopped beating. She grabbed the back of the chair and froze, unable to move, to talk, to think. Still grinning and oblivious, Tyler motioned to the hesitant man at his side. The two men entered her house, uninvited. Her legs refused to function. Her voice deserted her.

The door clicked shut, sealing her inside with the man she never wanted to see again in her life, or so she told herself.

Her father.

With the exception of those few fleeting seconds at the awards banquet, she hadn’t seen him in years, except on a television screen during a football game. He looked older, more tired, sadder. A million images flashed through her brain: his laughing eyes as he told his infamously corny jokes, sitting in his lap as he read her a bedtime story, watching him roam the sidelines coaching his team, and shouting encouragement to her from the stands as she stepped up to bat.

She shut out the pleasant memories and focused on the pain of a father who’d missed her graduation, ignored her calls, disappeared from her life when she needed him most, and turned her brother against her and her grandparents.

Her next coherent thought involved murder. Tyler Harris was her intended victim.

“Happy birthday, Lavender,” Tyler announced in his big, booming voice. His grin collapsed into a confused grimace as he took note of her scowl.

“Vinnie. Happy birthday.” Brian Gerloch stepped forward, rubbing his hands on his jeans then holding his arms out to her. His fingers shook slightly. “Andy says hi. He’d like to see you.”

Lavender backed away from his outstretched arms. “What are you doing here?”

He dropped his arms. “Tyler invited me.” He continued to smile, but it stopped south of his eyes.

She whipped around, finding it easier to take her wrath out on Tyler. “How dare you butt into my business.
Again.
”

“Don’t blame him. It was my idea.” Her father started to step forward but the look on her face appeared to stop him.

She truly doubted Brian Gerloch concocted this asinine plan, especially considering the guilt etched across Tyler’s face. “You’re not welcome here. Ever.”

“I just want a few moments to talk. To explain myself.” Her father stood his ground, which angered her all the more.

“No, it’s too late for that,
Brian
.”

He cringed at the way she said his name with such venom. Her hard heart cracked a bit. Her father looked so pathetic, so lost, so not in control. She’d never seen him like this. Fighting her reaction to this man she’d once called “Daddy,” she shored up her defenses.

Lavender shot a murderous glance at Tyler who shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes hooded and his mouth pressed in a tight, firm line.

“Please, honey, just hear me out. Can you find some room for a little forgiveness?” Brian laid his pride at her feet like a sacrificial lamb.

“Not now. Not yet. I’m not ready.” She resisted, even as she longed to hear his story.

“Lavender, just listen to what he has to say.” Tyler, the traitorous bastard, reached out to her.

“Butt out. You’ve interfered enough.” She turned on Tyler then back to her father. “You gave up the right for forgiveness years ago.”

The man sighed and ran his fingers through his damp hair. “You’re too much like your grandmother.”

“I am not.” She shuddered inside, fearing he might be right.

Brian slumped slightly and backed up a few steps. “This was a mistake.”

“You’re damn right it was a mistake.” Lavender twisted her ring until her finger ached. How could Tyler do this to her?

“Look, honey, I know I wasn’t there. I admit I gave up to easily. I didn’t fight for you like I should have. I just don’t know if it would’ve turned out any differently if I had. I didn’t want to put you and your brother in the middle of a contentious situation. It would’ve torn you in two. So I backed off. I honestly don’t think it would’ve worked out any better if I’d fought. I think either way you’d end up hating me. I hoped someday you’d come around, ask to hear my side. Your brother did.” Her father stared down at his feet, but not before she caught the stark and vivid pain in his eyes.

“Yeah, look where it got him. He’s lost his grandparents and a sister.” She lashed out like a wounded animal, hating herself for being vindictive like her grandmother, yet enjoying her power in a perverse way.

“Andy shouldn’t have to lose anyone. Neither should you. There’s room for both of us in your lives. No parent should make a child feel like they have to choose.”

“My grandmother did the best she could. You deserted us.”

His face fell. He gnawed on his lower lip and closed his eyes for a moment. “I didn’t. Believe me, I didn’t.” He held a large envelope out to her. She ignored it. “If you’d only take the time to look at the items in here.”

“I’m not interested.” She crossed her arms over her chest and hugged herself tight, but nothing eased the ache of her broken heart.

Brian laid the envelope on the table. Lavender ignored it.

The door crashed open, and Doris Mead threw herself into the room and at Brian like a crazed she-wolf. Larry was on her heels and grabbed her before she made contact. Lavender backed up a step, while Tyler watched Doris with wary concern.

“How dare you show up here and try to lure my
grand
daughter away with your lies. You’re no-good, a dead-beat dad. Get out of here. Now!” She flailed her arms and struggled to get free of Larry’s hold. No way was her grandfather letting go of his wife.

“You’re kicking me out of my own house?” Brian stood his ground, facing his ex mother-in-law.

What? His house? Could it be true?

“It’s not your house. My daughter
got it in the divorce.” Doris visibly controlled herself and elbowed Larry. He released her but kept one hand on her arm. She stood up straight and took a few steps until she was only a foot or two from Brian. She glared up at him.

“That’s a lie, and you know it, Doris. It’s in trust for the kids.” Brian held his voice steady. Lavender grudgingly admired his remarkable restraint.

Larry swallowed and tightened his fingers into a death grip on Doris’s arm. Lavender stared at her grandmother’s face, twisted and ugly with hatred. In her rage, she looked inhuman, like a wild animal. Lavender never wanted to look like that.

She needed to diffuse the situation and fast before it escalated into something even uglier, if that were possible. She turned to her father. “Please, you need to go.” Lavender couldn’t take the conflict. She never could. Her grandmother’s relentless harping usually wore her down until she did as the woman wanted just to buy a little peace in her life. This time would be no different.

“I’ll leave, but honey, I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’m not giving up on you again, I’ll be waiting when you’re ready.”

Lavender jabbed a finger toward the open door. The wind blew rain inside, but she didn’t care. “Please. Just leave.” A sob welled up in her throat. Unshed tears blurred everything, except she still saw sorrow in Brian’s eyes. It almost undid her.

His body caved as if it’d been deflated, his expression that of a broken man. He shuffled to the door, and she almost went after him, almost threw herself in his arms. One glance at her grandmother stopped her.

Doris kicked the door shut behind him. “This is your fault.” Her grandmother unleashed her fury on Tyler.

Tyler’s blue eyes blazed with anger. He clenched his fists, widened his stance, and scowled at Doris, his expression so fierce, Doris retreated a few steps, while Larry hid behind her.

Doris turned her attention on the person she’d have better luck controlling. “We’ll come back once you get rid of him. Make it permanent. Look at the grief he’s caused our family, and do the right thing.”

Tyler stood up straighter. “No, I’ll go. I need to pack anyway. I’m leaving in the morning.”

He stopped in front of Lavender and looked down at her, his expression unreadable. “If you want me to stay, I will.”

For tonight? Or forever?
She longed to know the answer.

For a moment, gazes meshed and held. She saw things she’d never thought she’d see in his eyes, crazy things like love. In the next moment, she convinced herself she’d only seen what she wanted to see, nothing real.

A million things ran through Lavender’s mind, their fights, their bickering, Tyler’s control issues, his vulnerabilities, his gentle loving, his enthusiasm, his wicked sense of humor. His mastery of the F-word and attempt to break his bad habit. All of it. She glanced at her grandmother and saw the ultimatum in her eyes.

“Tyler, please go.” Tears blinded her and she rubbed her eyes. Her heart broke open and the contents shattered at her feet like broken glass on concrete.

“Are you sure? I won’t be back.”

“I’m sure.” She choked on the words, a sob strangled her.

Without another word, Tyler left. The door clicked shut behind him. Lavender sank onto the worn couch and buried her face in her hands, as the floor fell out beneath her.

* * * * *

Lavender watched from her window as Tyler locked the front door of the mansion. For a moment, he stood on the veranda and gazed around him. Then he walked down the front steps to his truck. Unable to stop herself, she trotted across the muddy field and slipped through the gate between the two properties.

Tyler saw her coming and paused, his expression guarded, his eyes hooded.

She met his gaze and held her chin high. “I’m furious at you for what you did last night, but I still can’t let you go without saying goodbye.”

“You’re furious because I tried to fix what’s broken. I get that. It was a stupid move on my part.” His hard blue eyes never wavered from hers, and his asshole mask was held firmly in place.

“You can’t force everything to be the way you want it to be.”

“Why not? It’s worked for me in the past.” He skirted around her and threw his duffle bag in the passenger seat.

“There are some things you can’t control.” She stood behind him. When he turned around, she effectively blocked him in.

“Tell that one to your grandmother, though she sure as hell does a good job controlling you. You fell right into her web.”

“My grandmother is not a spider. And she’s not evil.”

“I don’t think she’s evil either. Not anymore. I’ll admit I did at first. She needs help, Vinnie. She’s convinced herself she’s doing what’s best for you. She doesn’t understand how much she’s hurting you and your brother. Don’t you see how abnormal her behavior is?”

Lavender heard the truth in his words, but her mind wasn’t ready to accept them. She’d championed her grandmother for so long, defended her, put her on a pedestal, she couldn’t change her behavior overnight—even if she wanted. Tyler tried to force Lavender to see her grandmother as human with flaws. She couldn’t do that, not yet.

“I think it’s time you left.” She stepped away, but he stepped forward into the space she’d just vacated.

“I’m going, but I’ll be back. I’m keeping this place, Lavender. You can’t run from me and your life forever.” Tyler leaned forward, filling her nostrils with his clean, woodsy scent. Her entire body angled toward him, even as she kept her head thrown back.