Forgiven (26 page)

“Can I have my girl’s hand back now?” Caleb laughed and I relaxed. Things were back to the way they were a few minutes ago.

His dad gave an embarrassed laugh. “Yep, sorry.”

Caleb leaned over to whisper in my ear, “Please don’t be upset. Everything’s fine, I promise.”

“Okay.” I knew he was keeping something from me, but the way Claire and Eric had reacted made me a little nervous.

“Who’s hungry?” Eric asked cheerfully, picking up his menu.

“I’m starving,” Caleb answered, rubbing his stomach like he hadn’t eaten all day. God, was there a time when he wasn’t ‘starving’?

“Angie, tell me, how did you two meet?” Claire asked. She leaned her arms on the table, resting her head in her hands. She smiled and winked, waiting for an answer.

I laughed. I really liked his mom—she was doing everything she could to make me feel comfortable. “Actually we have a history class together, and the Professor paired us up for our mid-term project.”

“That must have been fun,” she responded with a knowing look. She had no idea.

“It was interesting to say the least,” I said, winking at Caleb.

Claire gave me a questioning look, while Caleb put his arm around me and pulled me closer. He answered her silent question. “It took me a while to realize what an incredible partner she made.”

I smiled up at him. He made me feel special, something I still wasn’t used to the feeling. The rest of dinner went smoothly. Claire and Eric asked more questions about school and majors. I found out that Claire was corporate lawyer and Eric was a Pediatrician, and I wondered why Caleb never mentioned anything about them before. The waiter had just put desert on the table, when I was struck with how much I really didn’t know about Caleb.

“Nicole loved the campus when we dropped her off, but she was still sorry she was going to miss dinner this weekend,” Eric said turning to me. “She’s very excited to meet you Angie.”

“Who’s Nicole?” I asked, confused.

Eric looked baffled , “Nicole…Caleb’s younger sister.” He moved his gaze to stare at his son. “Didn’t you tell Angie
anything
about your family?”

Caleb looked a little uncomfortable. “I guess it never came up.”

I was a little irritated that he hadn’t mentioned a sister before. I felt foolish. Here I was having dinner with his parents, and I knew nothing about his family. Only a few hours ago I was worried about them not liking me, now I was beginning to question Caleb’s feelings for me. “You have a younger sister? Are there any other siblings I should know about?”

“Actually, I have an older brother too,” he admitted with embarrassment.

How did I not know this? Caleb knew my deepest, darkest secret, and yet I didn’t even know he had a brother and a sister. I looked over at him, and the uncomfortable feeling grew.

He reached over to grab my hand, but I moved it out of his reach. I wasn’t going to make a scene in front of his parents, but I didn’t want him to touch me right now. I plastered a fake smile on my face and continued on with the conversation.

“What’s your brother’s name?” I asked.

“Matt. He’s a teacher back in Rochester,” Claire answered.

From there the table lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. Caleb started to fidget with the napkin in his lap. He tipped his head toward me. “Angie,” he whispered.

I gave him a look that clearly said I didn’t want to talk about it now. Instead I tried to revive the conversation. “How does Matt like being a teacher?”

Eric and Claire looked relieved to continue the conversation. “He really enjoys it, this is his second year working at the high school.” Claire smiled, and I could tell she was proud of him.

“What does he teach?”

“Chemistry,” Eric answered.

Eric, Claire, and I continued the conversation, but Caleb sat in silence, brooding. I liked his parents, but right now I wanted to stick my foot up their son’s ass. Why wouldn’t he tell me about his family? He knew all about mine. The most disturbing thing was that I realized I didn’t know much about him. Maybe he didn’t care about me as much as I thought he did. I was falling in love with him, and it seemed as if he only saw me a temporary distraction.

After the check came we and sat and talked for a bit longer. I offered to pay for myself, but Caleb’s parents wouldn’t hear of it. I felt a little uncomfortable letting them pay, but I didn’t want to argue with them. We stood up to leave, following Eric and Claire back into the lobby of the hotel. Caleb was still by my side but didn’t touch me. Claire pulled me into another hug. “I’m so glad that I got to meet you today. He doesn’t mean to be closed off…it’s just been so long since he let anyone in. I know he cares about you—I can see it written all over his face. Just give him time,” she whispered quickly in my ear.

Once she let me go, Eric pulled me to him. “Thank you for coming tonight. I’m glad Caleb met you.”

I pulled back and looked between the two of them. “It was so wonderful of you to invite me to dinner, thank you.”

Claire gave Caleb a quick hug. When she pulled back she declared, “It’s so good to see you happy, honey. I expect you to bring Angie around more often.”

He gave her an uncomfortable smile. “I will.” He knew I was hurt, but he wasn’t sure how I was going to react when we were alone.

Eric reached out to shake Caleb’s hand. “You have good taste,” he said to Caleb hinting in my direction.

I giggled and blushed.

Caleb gave me meaningful look. “I know.”

“It was good to see you both,” he leaned and gave her a kiss. “Thanks for dinner.”

She smiled at him. “Anytime.”

We turned to walk to the exit when Eric’s voice stopped us. “Caleb?”

He turned around “Yeah, Dad?”

“Maybe you could think about stopping home one of these days?” he looked hopeful.

“I don’t know, we’ll see,” he said, shifting on his feet. Why wouldn’t he want to go home? His parents were wonderful, not like mine. I understood what it was like to want to run away from home, so why didn’t he trust me?

Caleb pushed through the doors and handed the ticket to the valet. This was the first time we’d been alone all night, but I really didn’t have anything to say to him. I could see him watching me out of the corner of my eye. When I wouldn’t acknowledge him while we waited he sighed. “Please don’t be like this,” he whispered.

I felt the tears spring to my eyes.
I would not let him see me cry
. I took a deep breath before I spoke. “Be like what?”

He reached for my hand, but I pulled it out of his reach. “Angie,” he pleaded.

Just then, the valet pulled up with his car. I walked quickly to the passenger side and slid into the seat, sitting as close to the door as I could get.

Caleb tipped the valet and climbed into the car. He put the car into drive and pulled away from the hotel. After we’d driven for a couple of minutes, he looked over at me out of the corner of his eye. “Angie, can we please talk about this?”

I didn’t even glance over at him. “Just take me home.”

“Will you at least come back to my place so I can explain?”

I folded my arms across my chest. “No, there’s nothing to talk about.”
Except the fact that you don’t plan on sticking around.
Tears pooled in my eyes, but thankfully in the dark car, Caleb wouldn’t know I was crying.

Without warning, he turned off the road into an empty parking lot. He turned off the engine and spun in his seat to face me. I turned my face to the window so he couldn’t see the tears—there was no way I going to let him see how badly he’d hurt me.

I tried to steady my voice. “I don’t want to talk to you, now take me home.”

“I’m not taking you anywhere until you talk to me.” I could hear the anger seeping into his tone, but sensed he was trying to fight it off.

My voice cracked. “I just want to go home.”

“Angie,” he touched my chin to turn my face to him, but I kept my face to the window. “Please look at me,” he said gently.

This time he gripped my chin between his thumb and finger and turned my face to look at him. He looked shocked. “Why are you crying?” He cupped my face between his hands and brushed my tears away.

I jerked out of his grip as my anger took over. “What am I supposed to do? Be happy that you made me look foolish in there.”

That ignited his temper. “I didn’t make you look foolish! I was the one who looked like an ass.”

“Right, I’m sure that’s exactly what every parent thinks about their son,” I seethed, furiously brushing my tears away.

“Are you fucking kidding me? The look Mom gave me when she realized how much I hadn’t told you said it all.”

The tears continue to pour down my face and my voice shook as I spoke. “I know, I saw it. Even she recognized that that you don’t plan on staying with me for long.”

“Is that what you think?” he whispered.

Drowning in misery and embarrassment, I looked down and away from him. “What else am I supposed to think? Now will you please take me home?”

“No, we need to talk about this. I have never done anything that would give you the impression that I am ashamed of you,” he argued.

“Caleb, you know everything about me, including the darkest part of my life. Yet I know
nothing
about you,” I responded.

“You know a lot about me.” He tried to reach over and take my hand, but I snatched it away.

My eyes snapped to his, “Really? Then how come you’ve never told me anything about your family?”

“I haven’t done this,” he motioned back and forth between us, “In a long time.”

“It’s more like you don’t
want
to know how to do this. You seemed pretty good at it when we were dealing with my family,” I fired back as the blush flamed my face. “Just not when it came to yours.”

“Wait…this isn’t about me, this is about your father.”

“It’s about both of you,” I spat, too hurt to care how I sounded.

He gasped. “You think I didn’t tell you about them because of what your father did?”

I shrugged because I couldn’t get the words past the lump in my throat.

“Angie, you’ve told me over and over again that you accept it wasn’t your fault. Why would you change your mind now?”

The tears broke free again. “I didn’t, I’m just not sure if you believe I wasn’t to blame.”

“Oh Angie,” he pulled me into his arms, which was difficult with the console between us. He stroked his hand up and down my back as I cried in his arms.

When I finally got myself under control, he tipped my tear streaked face up to his and kissed me softly.

“Angie, I have
never
believed that any of this was your fault,” he said solemnly.

“Then why hide your family from me?”

“I was being honest with you when I said I wasn’t good at this, but I also wanted to protect you,” he sighed.

I sniffed. “Protect me from what?”

He rested his chin on the top of my head. “I didn’t want to throw in your face the fact that I had a happy childhood with a wonderful family. You deserved so much more growing up, and I wish I could’ve changed all of that for you.”

“Caleb,” I sobbed.

“Cry it out, angel. I hate to see you cry, but I think you need it.” He continued the soothing motions over my back. I let all of it drain out of me. Caleb was right. I spent my whole life hiding what my father said to me, and I never dealt with it, properly. I always talked about forgiveness, when I really should have focused on forgiving myself. The abuse wasn’t my fault, but not giving myself the release I needed was. It felt like he held me forever while I cried. I cried for the childhood I deserved, but never had. I cried for the parents I should have had. I cried for me.

Eventually, my sobs eased and I leaned back to wipe the tears from my face. Caleb watched me with a sad smile.

He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “Better?”

I took a deep breath. “Better than I have been in a long time.”

“I’m glad.” He smiled and started the car.

“Oh. My. God. Your parents probably think I’m a fucking whack-job,” I cried.

He reached over and held my hand with his. “My parents loved you.”

“I highly doubt that. They’re probably trying to figure out a way to convince you to break up with me,” I muttered.

He laughed. “Were you so pissed at me that you missed what they said when we were leaving?” Watching the road he shook his head at me. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. “They asked me to bring you with me when they came to visit.”

I still wasn’t totally convinced. I shrugged my shoulders. “We’ll see.”

As we pulled into Caleb’s parking space, his phone went off. He pulled it out of his pocket and smiled.

“Hey Mom, we just pulled in,” he answered. “I know…I know” He sighed. “Sounds good…I will.’ He nodded. “Thanks for dinner.” He smiled. “Love you too,” he responded, right before hanging up. “See I told you they loved you. I just got yelled at by my mom for keeping things from you.”

“You did?” I smiled, but before I could ask him about it his phone rang again.

He answered without looking at it. ‘What did you forget to tell me? Hello? Hello?”

He hung up the phone. “Wrong number I guess. Come on, let’s get you inside.”

Caleb jumped out of the car and ran around the front to open my door. I couldn’t help but giggle—he looked ridiculous trying to get to my door before I got out. He held out his hand and helped me out of the car, and continued to hold tight as we walked into the apartment. As soon as the door closed behind us, he turned and pinned me to the wall. His lips captured mine roughly and when I gasped he slipped his tongue into my mouth.

I moaned at the taste of him in my mouth. He pulled back slightly, rubbing his nose against mine. His voice was hoarse and filled with need as he spoke. “You know, fighting means we need to make up.” His lips were back on mine. I ran my nails down the length of his body, and I felt his muscles spasm under my touch. This time the moan was his. He threw my arms around his neck and lifted me by my ass.

“Wrap your legs around me,” he breathed.

Using the wall to brace me he slid his hand up my thigh and under my dress, his other hand massaged my breast. He pushed my panties to the side and slipped one finger into me, all the while his lips never left mine. I realized that this was not going to be the leisurely lovemaking we’d had previously. This was nothing like I’d ever felt before, and my insides were melting.