Forever Yours (36 page)

“How could you be so heartless?” she said, feeling the infuriating lump in her throat inflate with every breath she took, but it wasn’t just pain she felt anymore. She was furious.

“I’m sorry—”

“You said that already, and my response to that is still the same.” Sarah swallowed hard, trying to hold it together, but the more she looked at him, the stupider she felt. “Just tell me why? What did you and that other bastard want from me?”

“Nothing—”

“Bullshit!” she said, turning the heads of a few passersby.

“Okay
he
did,” he said, coming around the car closer to her. “But
I
didn’t. I swear to you, and that’s what I’m here to explain to you.”

“So explain,” she said, holding her hand out so he wouldn’t take another step.

He stopped and held his hands up again. “It’s a long story. Let’s go somewhere—”

“No!” she said, beginning to feel as if she might lose it. “I don’t need drawn-out excuses!” She sucked it in as much as she could, but she was already feeling the warm tears in her eyes, and it only made her angrier. “Just explain to me why you would be so cruel as to contact me with a blatant lie then string me along all those months—”

“I never meant to hurt you,” he said, taking a step toward her.

She peered at him, shaking her head in confusion and anger inundating her as the hot tears ran down her face. “What! What does that even mean? What do
you
care about anyone’s feelings? You’re nothing but a fraud!”

“No, I’m not,” he said, actually sounding insulted.

“Of course you are!” she yelled now. “You probably do this all the time. You guys probably had this planned for months—years. Just tell me what you wanted or what you still
want
since you’re back.”

“I want nothing,” he insisted.

“Then why are you here?” she asked, her emotions jumping from hurt to angry again, but at least she wasn’t falling apart anymore. The anger surpassed all her other emotions now. “What the fuck do you want from me?”

“It was Joseph’s idea, not mine.”

“Who the hell is Joseph?”

“The guy who pretended to be your dad,” he said, speaking faster and louder. “It was all his idea. He wanted that jewelry from your mom. A ring. That’s all. I didn’t even wanna contact you.”

“But you did!”

“I know and I can explain,” he said, taking another step toward her. “Let’s just go somewhere where we can talk more calmly, where I can—”

“No!” she cried out once again, overcome with emotion. “Just tell me why you did it!”

“Because I fell in love with you, damn it.”

Sarah stared at him, her chest heaving up and down, barely able to make sense of what he’d just said.

Chapter 23

More lies.

The guy was unbelievable and Sarah was done giving him the benefit of the doubt. She wasn’t naïve. She’d known all along there was far more than met the eye when it came to Leonardo, but this? He expected her to believe
this?
Obviously the guy had no intention of telling her the whole truth. She started to get in her car, knowing that having stood there listening to Leonardo’s bullshit for even this long would have Angel furious.

“Sarah, wait,” Leonardo said.

“Leonardo’s probably not even your real name. How stupid do you think I am?” she asked, pulling on the door to shut it, but he held it open. “Don’t make me scream,” she warned.

“It’s the truth,” he said, holding the door open. “Joseph isn’t your dad, but he is your uncle. He’s your dad’s brother. It’s why you have the same eyes. He’s the spitting image of your dad and why he knew he could pass for him.”

He let go of the door, but Sarah didn’t pull it shut. She sat there feeling her heart beat as if she’d been running for her life, only she knew this had nothing to do with her running.

“He contacted me months before he ever showed up at your friend’s house in Arizona,” he continued quickly, but his voice was a little calmer now that she wasn’t making a run for it. “He didn’t need your friend to tell him where to find you. He already knew, but he said it’d be more believable and you’d be more trusting if he did it that way and had
you
contact
him
. He told me to look you up and start doing my homework on you.”

Sarah stared straight ahead, thinking back at how easily she’d allowed herself to give them both the chance to come into her life. She felt even stupider but couldn’t bring herself to close the door and leave. She wanted the whole truth. Had her dad really had anything to do with it like her mother thought?

“Your dad had told him about the jewelry and how much it was worth years ago, but it wasn’t until earlier this year that he mentioned the jewels might still be around—that he’d given them to the woman who’d had his child. Joseph said he needed the money now to pay off some bad debt. He was desperate—said they were going to kill him if he didn’t pay up. He thought someone closer to your age, who you could relate to better, would have a better shot at getting the information from you. At first I refused. I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn’t have time for this. I had my own shit going on. But then one night . . .” He paused and Sarah finally looked up at him. “One night out of curiosity I looked you up. I got caught up looking through all your photos and videos, but I still wasn’t gonna do it. He offered me a portion of what the jewelry was worth if I’d help him get it, and I still refused, but by then I was hooked looking at your photos.” He squatted down so he was closer to her face, next to the car, holding on to the door. “I didn’t lie to you about my brother, and I didn’t lie to you about my first name. My brother Felipe is in the pen, and my name really is Leonardo.”

He explained about Felipe being in the same facility as her dad and how he’d already been beaten almost to death once in jail. Her dad, who’d been in much longer, had connections and influences that could protect his brother in there. Joseph had offered to put in a word to the real Omar to help protect Felipe, but even then Leonardo said he wouldn’t get bullied into anything. Then later he got word on the street that Joseph was looking to recruit someone else who might take on the job of pretending to be her brother—other guys who he knew were ruthless and dangerous. Since Felipe still had such a huge target on him in jail, Leonardo decided to do it. He’d keep Joseph from sending someone else out after Sarah, and it might get his brother some protection in jail.

“Something else I didn’t lie to you about was when I told you I felt a connection with you even before I met you. I really did. I swear some of the videos you have online, especially the ones where you’re cracking up, I must’ve watched like twenty thirty times. There was something about you that just touched me so profoundly.”

“Stop,” she whispered, shaking her head.

“Even the ones with you and Angel I watched over and over.”

“Stop.”

“After months of watching, I felt like I
needed
to meet you. You did something to me, and—”

“Stop it, Leonardo,” she said, getting out of the car, no longer able to sit.

“I need you to understand why I did it,” he said, following her around to the back of her car.

“I don’t wanna hear it,” she said, shaking her head and bringing her hand to her forehead. “It’s all lies. It’s what you do. You didn’t—”

“Yes, I did!” he said, coming face to face with her. “I fell in love with you.”

He said it with so much conviction Sarah almost believed him, but she couldn’t. She’d been stupid enough already. Who falls in love before meeting someone?

“You’re lying!”

“No, I’m not!” He took a step closer to her. “I did, Sarah. Only I didn’t know it until I actually started talking to you. This was never supposed to go on as long as it did. When it was obvious you knew nothing about the jewelry, that you weren’t going to be any help, I told Joseph it was over. We were done. That’s as far as it should’ve gone. It was supposed to end right there, and neither of us were ever supposed to meet you. I even threatened him that if he continued to contact you I’d come after him myself, but then
I
couldn’t stay away. I told myself if I met you just one time I’d get it out of system then I’d walk away, but then I spent time with you in Havasu, so when I tried . . .” He took a deep breath then huffed, shaking his head. “When I said goodbye that first time, it was supposed to be for good, but I just couldn’t do it.”

Sarah stared at him, remembering all the sweet names he’d called her, the way he’d looked at her in Havasu, and even the way he said things to her when the chatted online. If what he was telling her now was true, Angel had been right all along.

Leonardo took another step toward her, and she backed up against her car, her eyes lowering to his arms, those big tatted arms that had fascinated her when she first saw his photo. Then later again she’d been tempted to run her fingers over his scars in Havasu. Glancing up at him, she realized he’d been watching her, and his eyes dropped to the place where her eyes had been fixed on: the double L tattoo that peeked out from just under the sleeve of his shirt. The one he’d changed the subject about so abruptly in Havasu. She lifted the sleeve to take a better look as the reality of just how naïve she’d been began to really sink in.

“They’re your initials, aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” he said softly. “Ledesma is my last name. I almost told you in Havasu. I swear I went there with every intention of telling you
everything
. I figured I’d tell you the truth about my brother first and see how you’d react. But you started freaking out before I told you anything, so by the time I’d let you in about my brother, you were already so rattled I decided I couldn’t. After my first attempt to try and cut things off with you and I couldn’t do it, I decided I’d just tell you the truth.” He shook his head, looking away with a puckered frown then back at her. “I thought worst-case scenario you’d tell me to go to hell and that would be the end of it, but a tiny part of me thought I saw something in your eyes. Maybe, just
maybe
you’d understand and forgive me. Maybe I could even make you fall in love with me too.

“I kept making excuse after excuse to put off telling you. I didn’t wanna ruin your holidays, and then I didn’t wanna ruin your birthday, but I was really gonna do it after New Year’s. Then you took off, and I didn’t hear from you for days, so I started to go a little nuts. And then I saw the photos of what you’d been doing all those days up in the snow—the days you said your Internet was so spotty you couldn’t call or text me but you’d been able to update your photos online just fine.”

He stared at her for a moment, completely stunned. This was what had been so odd about him all along. He actually believed he could make her fall for him. That’s why he chose to use such profound and strange phrasing when he spoke to her. All those pet names she knew now were not just strange but they were grossly inappropriate, and Angel had had every reason to not like them.

“After seeing the photos and videos of you and Angel, I realized I was in denial. The connection I’d felt with you even before I met you was pure fantasy, a fantasy that even after I decided to walk away still lives on.” His eyes dropped down to her lips. “A fantasy that one day I’d get to kiss you just once.”

Breathlessly caught in the moment, Sarah realized that the way he’d been looking at her that whole time was the same way he’d looked at her the entire time in Havasu, the same way he had when he’d said goodbye to her that last morning she was there. How she ever believed he was looking at her this way because he was just
different
and deep was beyond her. If anything about what he’d just told her was true, it was one thing. He was in love with her. At least he believed he was. And now he was standing here so close to her, practically telling her he wanted to kiss her—just once. For an instant, that conversation she’d had with Sofia came to her, the one where she’d asked Sarah if she’d ever be tempted to give into a harmless kiss with an attractive guy out of curiosity. Her eyes dropped down to his lips for a moment as he licked them, and only one word screamed in her head. “Never!”

His eyes darted from her lips to her eyes, startled, and that only infuriated her further. Did he really think her that stupid?

“Never in a million years,” she said, the anger searing through her veins now. “That you would even think . . .” She shook her head, disgusted. “That somewhere in that sick twisted head of yours the thought would exist that you could just waltz into my life, a complete stranger, and just make me fall for you and drop everything—Angel.”

“I just thought maybe—”

“What you saw in my eyes Leonardo was
hope
,” she said, almost through her teeth. “Hope because you’re right. People like me, like your sister,
if
you even have one, can’t even fathom your kind of warped mentality. I trusted you with the truth about my excitement to have a brother in my life, and you took advantage of that for your own selfish reasons. You sicken me.”