Forever With You (Silver State Series) (27 page)

The entire house is dark except for a bar of light shining from beneath Shelley’s bedroom door across the hall from mine.  I can hear her inside giggling, apparently on the phone with someone.  I shuffle into my room and shut the door, then toss my keys on the desk and drop my camera bag on the floor.  Pumpkin meows at me from the center of my bed, reminding me to feed her.  I dump some food in her bowl, and the bell on her collar jingles as she hops down off the bed and begins hungrily scarfing it down.

I kick off my shoes, then remove my socks, shirt and pants.  Too tired to shower or change into a clean pair of underwear, I simply collapse on my unmade bed and pull my computer onto my lap to check my email.  There’s one from the magazine with a list of stories they need volunteers to cover and another from one of my professors about an upcoming test.  Then there are a handful of messages alerting me to various Facebook posts.

I open up my internet browser and click on Facebook in my list of bookmarks so I can clear out the alerts.  My newsfeed is filled with comments about the Super Bowl and the halftime show – I had forgotten that was even going on today.  My eyes flick down for only a fraction of a second as I prepare to close the lid on my computer and lock onto a post that says, “Tawny Read was tagged in Vivian Walcott’s photos.”  Obviously I never stood a chance against a headline like that – I click on the first picture.

The photos look like they were taken in somebody’s basement.  There’s a big black sofa with a Wolf Pack blanket draped over the back of it, and the frame is filled with several faces I don’t recognize.  There’s one, however, that I do.  Tawny looks so small curled up in the corner of the gigantic couch.  While everyone else’s eyes are trained straight ahead, likely on the TV, she’s looking down at her phone.  I flip to the next couple; Tawny looks equally apathetic in all of them.  For some reason this makes me smile – I don’t care much for spectator sports either, especially on television.  I’d probably look the same way.

In the last photo, there’s a guy in a backward baseball cap leaning over the back of the couch with his arms wrapped around Tawny.  His smile is big and goofy; hers seems sort of forced…or maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see.  Regardless, my heart starts galloping, causing my chest to feel uncomfortably tight.  I lean in closer to inspect the dude’s face and realize I recognize him.  “Aiden Jones,” the tag says. 
Where have I seen that name before?
  I get a sinking feeling as I click on Tawny’s name and scroll down through her timeline, all the way back to September.  I click on one of the photos taken over Labor Day with her in that black bikini looking sexy as hell.  The pressure in my chest amplifies when I come to the picture of Tawny standing with a guy, both of them dripping wet.  Sure enough
– goddammit
.  So he must be the guy she’s dating now.

I sink lower on the mattress until my head is flat against the pillow and push the computer off my lap.  I raise one arm to cover my forehead and use my other hand to cover my chest as I stare up at the ceiling and try to manage my breathing. 
Why the fuck wasn’t I good enough for her
?

Tawny – 9:00 PM

T
he girl named Stacy grows more persistent as we inch toward the second half of the game.  Knowing she’s pretty much hammered, I try not to hold it against her.  Still, I’m no saint.  I can’t help my frustration when Aiden starts responding to her advances with his own coy banter, even though I know he’d never act on it.  He may be tipsy, but for God’s sake,
I’m right here.
  Granted, I’m sort of just lying here, fading into the couch at the moment, but I’d hope he hasn’t forgotten he brought me.

When the second half begins, the room is quickly divided between groans and cheers as the team I bet on comes from behind and overtakes the lead.  At one point, Aiden lands his fist in the back of the couch as he utters every expletive under the sun.  By the beginning of the fourth quarter, he’s ready to leave – considering the wide margin in the two teams’ scores, the ending looks like a foregone conclusion.  Seeing his genuine chagrin, instead of teasing him or gloating I bite my tongue.  Viv shoots me a sympathetic look as we say our goodbyes and leave, but really I’m just happy to get out of here.

“You okay to drive?” I ask when we reach Aiden’s car.

“I don’t know…” he says.  “Can you drive?”

I let out a quiet sigh as I nod my head and reach for the keys.  My head hurts and I have horrible night vision to begin with, but luckily we don’t have far to go.  As soon as we’re strapped in, Aiden says, “What’s with you tonight?”

I blink at him in disbelief.  “What do you mean?”

Hearing the hard edge to my voice, he shrugs like he’s trying to play it off.  “You’ve been acting like you’re mad at me,” he says softly.  His voice sounds like a little boy caught stealing from the cookie jar.

Unable to suppress my irritation, I emit an acerbic laugh.  “I feel like shit, okay, Aiden?  I
told
you I didn’t want to go in the first place.”  I sniff.  “And then you were, like, out-and-out
flirting
with that girl with the boobs.”

His eyebrows knit together.  “Stacy?  I wasn’t flirting with her.  We were just
talking.
”

When I don’t reply, he lets his head roll back against the headrest.  He forces out a breath, but I can’t tell whether it’s exasperation or repentance he’s expressing. 

After a few minutes of quiet, he chuckles softly to himself.  I quirk an eyebrow at him.  “What?”

He raises his head to look at me.  “You know what might help?”

I shoot him a questioning look. 
Do I really want to hear this?

Aiden surprises me when he rubs the back of his hand against my cheek, then trails the tips of his fingers down my arm.  “You could spend the night at my place…”

My mouth drops open, and my face grows warm. 
He’s drunk,
I remind myself. 
He doesn’t know what he’s saying. 
Quickly I dart my eyes back to the road.

Aiden lets out a resigned chuckle.  “Relax, Tawny – I’m kidding.”  His smile fades, and he turns away to face out the window. 

My heart is hammering in my chest.  I spend the last few minutes of the drive with my hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel, unable to speak.  I know it frustrates Aiden that we still haven’t had sex.  Times like these, I think his patience must be running pretty thin, and I don’t know that I can blame him for that.  I do like him – I wouldn’t have wasted all these months on him if that wasn’t true – but I’m just not ready for…
that. 
Maybe it’s a defense mechanism – maybe I’m subconsciously protecting myself from a replay of The Kyle Situation.  Or maybe it’s that Aiden and I are missing some unidentified, key ingredient.  I’ve analyzed my thoughts around it six ways to Sunday, and I
still
can’t make heads or tails of it.

I roll to a stop in the parking lot outside Aiden’s apartment building.  He looks up as if he’s taking it all in for the first time.  “I thought we were going back to your dorm?” he says.  I cringe a little at the cautious optimism in his voice. 
Is he expecting me to come upstairs with him now?

“I thought it was best if your car was here,” I reply, “since you’re not up for driving.  I can walk back from here.”

He gazes at me, his expression inscrutable.  I place one hand on the door handle, but before I can climb out, Aiden catches my hand.  “I’m sorry,” he says in a gravelly whisper.  “I didn’t mean to flirt with that girl – I’m sorry if it looked that way.  I just had too much to drink.”  He swallows.  “Believe me – you’re the only one I want.”

I stare at him, mystified by the pleading tone in his voice.  I wish I knew what to feel.  It upsets me a little that he doesn’t seem to have any intention of apologizing for the rest of it.  I offer him a half-hearted smile, then swing my door the rest of the way open.

“I believe you,” I tell him.  “I need to go home and take some medicine now, okay?”

He looks like there’s more he wants to say, but if there is he doesn’t say it.  Instead he nods silently as he disentangles his hand from mine.

Kyle – 9:00 PM

I
knead at my forehead for a good five or ten minutes until the headache finally starts to subside.  There’s a dangerous thought brewing at the back of my mind, and before I’ve given myself the chance to properly quell it, it surges to the forefront of my brain.  Driven by a sudden burst of red-hot
need
, I sit up on the edge of the bed and pull out the second drawer on my desk.  I plunge my hand to the back of the drawer and feel around until my fingers close around the slim square of plastic I’d been searching for.

I swing my legs back up onto the bed, pull my computer onto my lap and push the memory card into the slot on the side.  I drum my fingers impatiently against the keyboard as I wait for the card’s contents to load, then scroll past the pictures of the damn cat to the only file I care about.  I hold my breath as I double click on the thumbnail and the video player opens.  My vision blurs and there’s a high-pitched buzzing in my ears as an unclothed Tawny fills the screen.  For the first few seconds she stands alone next to the bed looking dreadfully self-conscious; she relaxes some when I step from behind the camera to join her.  I know it’s wrong lying here watching like this, but I can’t bring myself to give a fuck.  My cock lengthens and solidifies as I observe Tawny scooping her hand inside my boxers and yanking them down – I can remember the incomparable feeling of having her touch me like it was just this morning, not five
fucking
months ago.

As our video selves move to the bed, I reach beneath the covers and hook my thumbs inside the waistband of my boxers.  I lift my ass and push them down until they’re around my ankles, then wrap my hand around the base of my shaft and begin to work it up and down.  My breathing hitches in my throat as I stare unblinkingly at my computer monitor and revel in the low burn spreading through my body and simmering beneath the surface of my skin.  I knew at the time we were filming ourselves it would be a major turn on, but I never dreamed how good it would feel to watch later.  My arousal is only enhanced by the fact I haven’t seen or touched Tawny in so long.

My orgasm builds to the point of almost bursting – I watch in wonder as we continue to fuck, amazed I’d been able to last so long.  When Tawny spins around to face the camera I have to still my hand to keep from coming apart in the sheets.  My breath comes out fast and shallow as I watch her glorious body sliding up and down over mine.  Just as she moans out her release, I reach for an empty cup on my desk and twist around to shoot into it, my heart flying at Mach 3.

I watch as she falls in a heap against my sweaty chest and I circle her with my arms.  The familiar ache is back, only now it hurts even worse.  It’s the craziest thing – being jealous of
myself
.  I snap the computer shut, still breathing heavy but now with my eyes shut.  I hate the guy in the video – he had absolutely
no fucking clue
how good he had it.

Chapter 24 – Chance Meeting

Friday & Saturday, February 10-11

Tawny – Friday, 12:15 PM

“
T
he resort is right on the beach,” Aiden says animatedly, “and it has a full service spa and one of those infinity pools.”  I can tell how hard he’s trying to convince me – he hasn’t stopped listing the hotel’s many amenities since we sat down in our booth at Alonzo’s half an hour ago.  Evidently the travel agency that services the university is advertising some exclusive and absurdly cheap spring break package that includes airfare to Cabo San Lucas and a four-night stay at one of the city’s five star resorts.  Honestly, I’m so sick of the cold and snow, he had me at “Mexico” – but I’ve been enjoying his sales pitch all the same.  It’s sort of fun watching him try to coax me into agreeing to go along.  Aiden’s been bending over backward for the past five days to be nice to me, ever since he behaved so poorly at the Super Bowl party last Sunday.

“Did you say there’s a minimum group size in order to get the deal?” I ask before taking a sip of my Sprite.

He nods soberly.  “Six.”

“Do you think you’ll get that many people to agree?”

“Sure, sure,” he replies.  “Brady and Logan are down, so is Viv.  If Logan brings his girl that makes six – easy.”

Slowly I nod.  “All right – I’ll think about it.  Can I let you know next week?  I need to talk to my parents about moving some money out of my savings account.” 

Judging from the way he’s beaming at me, I’d say I just made his day.  “Can you tell me by Tuesday?” he asks.  “We’ll get the best deal if we book by mid-week.”  It seems a bit fast, but I suppose it’s only a little over a month until spring break – time flies, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.  Suddenly my mind is filled with images of a hot sun and a sandy beach.  Plus, it’ll be fun if Vivian goes along.  Maybe we can go swimsuit shopping beforehand.

“Tuesday,” I agree with a nod.  I glance at my watch and notice it’s time to start walking to my next class.  “I’ve gotta go,” I tell him.  “Wanna walk with me, or are you gonna hang here and finish your drink?”

Aiden shakes his head as he stands up and tosses a couple dollar bills in the center of the table.  “I have to go meet Logan,” he says.  “I’ll walk out with you.”

We weave through the maze of tables and step out the front door.  We’ve taken half a dozen steps when suddenly I remember what I’m missing.  “Woops, I forgot my gloves,” I say.  “You go ahead, I’ll see you later.”

“Okay, later,” says Aiden.  He gives me a quick peck on the lips, then rushes off to meet his friend.

Kyle – Friday, 12:30 PM