Forever Together (Forever Love #2) (13 page)

"Well, yeah. I doubt you've turned into a nun since Christmas. I’m sure you’ve dated and-"

"There’s been no one!" I shoot my head upwards at the sound of his rough, hard voice. "Not one fucking person. No dates, no hookups, nothing. Shit my fucking dick would shrivel up first."

I don’t know what to say. I just stand there like some type of tree waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is it possible? Has Brady really not so much as kissed another girl in six months?

"So, you've been hooking up then?" His question - though it sounds more like a statement - catches me off guard.

"Wha-"

"You think I have so does that mean you have?"

"No!" He seems to like my answer judging by the smile that spreads across his face. Ass.

"Well then that’s settled then."

"Wai-"

"Shh." A finger is put to my lips and I’m tempted to bite it off. What’s the point of me having a mouth if I’m not allowed to talk? "This is happening Cindy. I’m not the same douchenozzle I was six months ago and there’s not a damn chance in hell that I’m letting you drive away this time."

My mouth drops open only to be pushed back up by Brady’s fingers under my chin. He spins around and heads towards the shiny blue truck parked up the curb. I can only stand there, my feet glued to the floor, in a daze.

"Hey Cinders." He turns around halfway up the footpath. "You feeling dangerous babe?"

***

"Is it moving at all?" I shout. My voice barely carries over the roar of the engine.

"Fuck no!" Brady curses.

Again, I press my foot down on the gas. I can hear the squealing of the tires even if we're not moving an inch.

This is definitely a day of bad decisions. By far the worst decision I've made was not throwing Brady out of the house as soon as I set eyes on him this morning. He has a unique knack for attracting trouble and paired with my luck which is without a doubt very very bad, disaster was sure to happen as is evident by the predicament we find ourselves in now.

Coming in at a close second in the bad decision awards was definitely agreeing to go mudding though. Yes, I’m a twenty-year-old college student and yes, I am literally stuck in the mud. These past few days have not been the best in terms of me making mature, adult choices and now I find myself sitting in Brady’s truck stuck in the middle of a very muddy field with no cell phone signal. Yay me!

To make matters worse, for the second time today Brady is shirtless and though I’m trying my hardest to avert my eyes, they keep drifting back to the sculpted abs on his torso, heating my body enough that I’m surprised the mud caking my legs doesn’t melt.

"Maybe you should stand at the back." I suggest.

"No fucking way." He growls, looking at me as if I’m the one who's lost their mind. "The guy that stands at the back of the fucking truck always gets fucking covered in shit. It’s science."

"Well, if you stand at the back you can tell me if spinning the tires is just making the truck sink deeper." I roll my eyes.

"Have you got any bars on your phone yet?" He asks and I see him disappear round the back of the truck.

"No." I call back. "Ok, I’m gonna start it. Back up and make sure you move out the way otherwise it’s gonna get messy."

"What?"

"I said make sure you move out the way!" I press my foot on the gas again, throwing the mud from the ground up into the air.

The sound of the screeching tires is like murder to my ears. The sound vibrates through the air.

"Well, was it budging?" I lean a little out of the driver’s side door and look towards the back of the very dirty truck.

Oh hell. Brady steps from around the back not looking like Brady anymore. His hair, face, chest, basically everything is caked in sloppy brown crap. I bite my lip to try and stop myself from laughing but eventually lose. I hunch over, the laughter the kind that wracks your entire body, coming right from your stomach.

"What. The. Fuck." His voice is calm and quiet while he wipes his eyes.

"I told you to move out the way." I gasp out in between laughs. "Oh my God, you look like a mud monster."              

"I didn’t hear you Cindy." His voice is way too calm considering what a mess he's in. He creeps towards me, an evil glint in his eye, a sly troublesome smile stretching across his face.              

"W-what are you doing?" I still can’t stop the laughter, if only because the only clean thing on him is the white of his teeth. "B-Brady now think about this. Two of us being dirty isn’t gonna get us out of this puddle." I hold my hands up in surrender. 

"What?" He holds a hand to his ear. "I can’t hear you Cindy."

"Don’t you dare!"

"I only want a hug Cinders." The sing song of his voice freaks me out and I drop out of the truck.

I slowly walk backwards, stalked by my roguishly handsome ex-boyfriend that has every intention of making me suffer. I purse my lips, ready to bolt. Before I even have a chance, he throws himself towards me, his hands clutching at me around my waist. I scream and laugh at the same time while he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck.

We're both laughing to tears and the only thing holding me up and stopping me from rolling on the floor is Brady’s strong arms wrapped tightly around me.

"Now we can both be mud monsters." The warm breath drifting over my ear causes me to let out a little shiver. I make the mistake of looking up.

My eyes meet his and it’s as if a sizzling hot current is running between us. It’s the kind that fills the surrounding space with tension and lays on the senses like a blanket, leaving only the two of us existing.              

His tongue slips out, wetting his bottom lip and I find myself mirroring his actions as his face comes closer to my own. My eyes flutter closed and I can feel his breath against my cheek.

"You're so beautiful. You have no idea how much I've fucking missed you." His low voice rolls over me and I hum in agreement with no idea what I’m actually agreeing to. I just don’t want this moment to end.

I can feel the faintest feather like touch against my lips, hesitant and light. My heart beats a staccato, the blood rushes through my body and instead of reason, instead of running in the opposite direction where my heart will be safe, all I can think
is
of is the feel of his lips against mine and how alive it makes me feel.

That’s my reason, my excuse for laying my hands on his cheeks and pushing my mouth into his hungrily, starving. His fingers dig into my waist as he pulls me even closer, my chest crushing against his. I can feel his tongue nudge between my lips and I eagerly open them, my tongue dancing with his as I move my hand down over his strong shoulders, running them down his hard chest, his muscles tensing beneath my hands. It’s as if I've lost all control of my body.

"I love you so fucking much." He growls against my lips.

No, no, no. He doesn’t. He can’t do. I rip myself away from his body as if it’s burning me and stumble backwards, shaking my head frantically.

"Cinders?" He frowns.

"This is a mistake."

"Didn’t feel like a fucking mistake to me. What the hell is going on?" I ignore his question.

"W-we need to try and get some help."

Brady takes a step towards me. I flinch when I feel his touch on my shoulder and his eyebrows pull together in a frown.

"Fuck!" He pulls at his hair and I take another step back. "What did I do wrong?"

"N-nothing." I stutter. "Things can’t go back to how they were Brady. It’s not possible."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I can’t do this." I shake my head. "It’s unfair."

"What do you want me to do? I'll do anything." His eyes are pleading with me; I can barely look at them. Doesn’t he get it? Doesn’t he get what he did to me? Doesn’t he get that he fucking broke me?

"It’s been six months Brady."

"I know how long it’s been; what you think I haven’t been in fucking hell without you? I. Screwed. Up. I know."

"I’m not getting into this with you right now." I look around the empty field for anything that can help me avoid this conversation.

"Cinders..." Whatever he was going to say is drowned out by the pinging
sound
of a cellphone.

I frown. Either an axe murderer is lurking
around
out here and his cover's been blown by a
T
t
inder notification or we
finally
got signal. Both Brady and I pull our phones from our pockets. My shorts are super tight so I jump up and down a few times before the phone slips out.

"Wasn’t me." Brady grunts, holding his phone up in front of my face to prove it for some reason. I snort at his screensaver, a picture of Brian wearing a top hat. "But I got signal. I'll call someone to tow this damn truck out."

I nod my head and look at the screen on my own phone, seeing a text message notification. I open it to see Trina’s name flash.

Bachelorette party! Stripper yay or nay? Plz say yay :)

I smirk, knowing full well Liv will probably go on a murderous rampage if we get a stripper. Trina and I will be watching the show behind a damn upturned table. I type out a simple response.

Ask Liv.

The instant reply I get has me laughing out loud. I so need to laugh if only to distract me from the hot as hell kiss.

:(

Looks like Trina knows how the stripper idea will go down too.

I squeeze my phone back into the insanely tight pocket of my shorts, vowing to bring a purse next time I wear them. I probably have a phone shaped imprint on my hips.

Brady leans against the truck, staring at me intently as he talks into the phone. I walk on over, his voice becoming louder the nearer I get.

"Yep.... About half hour past the gate on the old Coulson land... No I can’t fucking wait until after your fucking date... or that either... Yep... I'll see you in a bit then... Ok, bye." He lets out a breath and shoots me a smirk and a wink. "Tucker is on his way."             

"Great." I say, a little too enthusiastically.

Brady’s smirk drops from his face and a pang of guilt runs through me. I don’t want to hurt him. I look down as the atmosphere between us becomes painfully awkward. I shouldn’t have encouraged him. The kiss was a mistake, no matter how good or right it felt in his arms.

He prowls towards me, like a predator stalking its prey. I freeze on the spot staring at him with wide eyes. What if he kisses me again? Will I stop him? Can I stop him?

He comes within an inch of me and stoops slightly and his mouth goes right past my mouth to by my ear.

"I meant what I said, Cinders. I'm not letting you go. I don’t care if it takes six months, six years or fucking sixty, I'll show you I've changed. I'll show you that I'm the guy for you Cindy Martin." His breath over my skin causes goosebumps rise. "Plus, I'm Brady fucking Cooper. You can’t resist me." He winks at me with a wolfish smile.

I let out a small squeak and spin around. I need to get away from him. My mind needs time to adjust
to
for
the craziness that are my feelings.

My mind is screaming at me to lock my heart away, lock it in a cell and throw away the key because that’s the only way to protect it. My heart is begging to be let loose and reunited with the rest of it, the part that had long ago been given to Brady Cooper and I'd never gotten back.

Chapter 10

Cindy

I sit in the Travers slash Preston family kitchen and wait for the onslaught of questions after my confession.

"So you kissed?" Liv asks before taking a sip of her coffee, letting out a contented sigh.

"Yes." I sigh.

"Was it good?"

"Yes." I sigh again.

"Maybe it’s not over then." She shrugs.

"Don’t say that." I groan, even though I've been thinking that exact thing in the seven days since Brady dropped me off at my parents and roared away.

Why hasn’t he called? I mean, I know I told him I wanted space and that the kiss was a mistake but I thought he would at least try a little harder. Maybe he didn’t feel the same things in that kiss that I did. Maybe he didn’t feel the fireworks light up his whole body like I did. Maybe he forgot about it immediately after whereas I've thought of nothing but.

I look over to Liv who's giving me a raised eyebrow and the pursed lips look.

"What?" I narrow my eyes.

"Nothing." she shrugs.

This is where things get interesting. The old Cindy, the Cindy from a couple of days ago would have nodded, ducked her head down and ignored the fact that Liv obviously has something on her mind. The brand spanking new Cindy though, reborn from the ashes of Brady’s fiery kiss, isn't gonna do that. I think. Ok, maybe I'm still a bit of a wuss but brand spanking new Cindy is only seven days old!

"Seriously, what?" My voice comes out softer than I intend, making me sound not like the forceful woman I hoped but more like a kitten with a sore throat.

"I just can’t believe you kept this kiss a secret for a whole week." Every word gets louder and louder. "A whole fucking week, Cindy. Seriously?"

"I'm sorry?" I have no idea what the protocol is for this. After all, as I said before, usually I just duck my head and brush it under the carpet.

I bring my coffee up to my mouth, the steam tickling my nose.

"So, did you get a feel of the goods?" She wags her eyebrows up and down, unfortunately at the same moment I take a sip. It seems that snorting and drinking are not a good combination. Who’d have thought?

"Oh crap." I practically gargle.

The very hot dark coffee runs down my chin and my brand new white chiffon blouse. I just had to pick today to wear white. This is definitely not something the new Cindy would do.

Liv jumps out of the stool and runs over to the towel dispenser at the far side of her kitchen. She pulls the paper towel too hard and it tumbles out of the box and rolls across the floor as she curses and chases it, teetering on some drool worthy peach peep toe heels.

"Here." She huffs, holding the paper towel roll up triumphantly.

Pulling some off, I dab at the stain on my blouse, making no difference at all.

"I think it’s gonna stain." I mumble.

"Uh huh." She looks around the kitchen. "Ah hah. I've got just the thing."

She rushes out of the room, saying no more while I stay perched on my seat with a now brown blouse that’s turning see through. I bite onto my lip wondering if Liv has abandoned me. A few minutes later, she comes striding back into the room with a strappy top hanging over her arm.

"What’s that?" I ask, starting to feel excited because let’s face it, nobody's got better clothes than Liv.

"This will be perfect on you." She holds the very... revealing top up.

I'm tempted to state the obvious and advise Liv that the top is actually in half. As in there is no way it even comes anywhere near my belly button. I look at it doubtfully, imagining my pale midriff on show.

"It’s gonna show my tummy." I whisper.

"Fucking hell Cindy, I’ve seen you in a bikini."

"I know." I whine. "But that was by a pool with multiple other people around wearing bikinis. Plus, I always wore them really for..." I snatch the top from her arm before I dare to finish my sentence.

"Atta girl. Just do it here, nobody’s home."

I nod and start unbuttoning my drenched blouse as Liv takes some paper towels and mops up the mess I’ve made. I'm still looking at the top doubtfully but decide to keep my mouth shut. Maybe Liv has a jacket I could borrow. A nice blazer would be good, a huge parka even better. At least I'll be covered up then.

I stare doubtfully at my revealed pale stomach, thankful that at least it’s flat enough to pull off such clothes. I notice the tags on the top that Liv brought down and silently shake my head. Seriously? She hasn’t even worn it? Pulling them off, the snap of the plastic connecting the small cardboard and the fabric coincides with another sound. The slamming of the front door.

Liv and I shoot our heads up at the same time, looking at each other with panic stricken faces and wide eyes.

"Oh shit." She whispers.

Oh shit? Oh shit, her Dad or Noah are probably gonna see me in my pink lacy bra!

Liv practically throws herself towards me as I start fumbling and try to put the clothing over my head.

"I’m... Stuck." I huff, tangled up.

"Don’t panic, I'm getting you out." Liv hisses, trying to pull my head through the hole at the top.

"I should hide."

"Where? In the fucking fridge? Your hair is caught in the straps."

"Ouch." That hurt! I only wanna get dressed, or partially dressed because this clothing hardly even registers as such. I don’t wanna be snatched bald.

My head pops through the top, my arms in the air, trapped by the straps wrapped around my upper arms.

"Hey Liv!" Noah’s shout sounds through the house and has me waving my arms about, trying to cover my bare chest. Instead, I probably resemble one of those air dancers that wave their inflatable arms about outside car dealerships and Chuck E. Cheese.

"DON’T COME IN HERE NOAH!" Liv almost screams, right into my ear. I wince and swear I can hear the echoes of her voice.

"What? Wh... Oh shit, fuck. I'm sorry."

"What did I say Noah?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn’t see anything I fucking swear."

If it wasn’t me in this embarrassing position, I'd probably find this hilarious. Noah's probably scrambling around, trying to cover his eyes. I can’t see anything of course since the dark plum red fabric is covering my eyes.

"Hey fucker. Whatcha doing?" That voice sends a shiver down my spine.

"BRADY NO!" Both Liv and Noah shout.

Brady?

"Yo what’s... Holy shit who’s fucking tits are they?" The silence fills the room. "Wait they’re mine! THEYRE MY FUCKING TITS! NOAH WHY ARE MY TITS IN YOUR KITCHEN?!"

There are moments in life where you have to take a moment to yourself, block out the outside world and ask yourself the question, what the hell just happened? This is one of those moments.

"Get the fuck out Dickwad before I knee you in your fucking junk!" Liv yells.

"I'm going, I'm going." He mumbles. "You and me fucker gotta have a conversation." I'm guessing he's talking to Noah, probably pointing too. Like I said, in this moment, no sight is great!

"They’re gone." Liv whispers in my ear.

My body untenses and I let out a breath of relief.

"Argh I'm pretty sure I'll never live this down."

"Oh you will. Everyone’s had some nosy fucker walk in on them at some point. Though, I gotta say you went stiff as a board when Dickwad walked in."

"Did I?" My voice comes out too high to be casual and I'm mentally kicking myself.

"Uh huh. Are you gonna talk to him?"

"Why would I?"

"Oh, I don’t know maybe because you guys played tonsil tennis or it might be because you're still madly in love with him."

"I am not!" I yell, just as my head pops out to see a slight smirk on Liv’s face.

"Sure, you’re not." She rolls her eyes and then looks at me seriously for a few moments. "Look, I can’t say I understand what happened between you two. I mean I get that he's an idiot, everyone knows that but do you know what I’ve learnt from being with Noah? You’ve got one life in this world and that’s fucking it. I spent so long hiding from it that it almost passed me by and I don’t want you to do the same. You're so damn sweet Cindy and you deserve some happiness. No girl falls off the face of the earth for six months unless they’re holding onto some pretty bad pain, and that’s ok. You gotta let it go sometime though."

"What if-"

"You can’t live for the what ifs. What if I go outside and a house brick falls on my fucking head? What if Noah goes to work tomorrow morning and gets shot?" She shudders.

Something breaks in that moment or maybe it’s slipped back into place. For the first time though I admit to how I’ve been feeling.

"I'm not enough for him." I swallow past the lump in my throat and blink the tears that are building in my eyes away.

"Guys are damn stupid. They’ve barely fucking evolved from apes. I'm on your side Cindy no matter what. No matter about Noah and Brady, I'll always have your back. I know that the guy has been a damn depressing woman since he came back to town. The first few weeks, Noah was convinced he was gonna jump off a bridge or something. I don’t think you were ever not enough for him. I think he’s just a guy and he’s a fucking moron."

My eyes widen at what she’s saying. All this time I was convinced that this was what Brady wanted. I was sure he wanted the bachelor lifestyle. He didn’t stay with me. I just wanted him to stay with me. Liv carries on straightening my clothes while I stand there as still as a statue.

The day that Brady and I broke up is like a recording in my head. The happiness I felt that morning was like nothing I'd felt before. I felt safe and settled, like I was ready for the rest of my life. It’s a long way from the top though. The higher you rise the further the fall. After the fight to end all fights, Brady and I were at a crossroads and I did the first brave thing in my entire life. I walked away.

I did what at the time I thought was the only way my heart, soul and sanity would survive. I got in a cab, tears streaming down my face, hardly able to even breathe because of the sobs ripping through my body. The pain was physical, like my heart was being shredded in two. But I still walked away.

I didn’t walk away for nothing though, I just pulled my head out of the sand if only for a moment and looked at my relationship. A relationship that I'd been putting first for years, a guy I'd been in love with for most of my life and as much I loved it all, I was always last. I was always last to know, last to be considered. Deep down I knew Brady loved me when but I saw people like Noah and Liv and my parents, it felt like a kick to the gut that even though we had the intensity and love that they had, we didn’t have the maturity. Brady didn’t anyway.

Would it be different with Brady and I now though? I don’t know.

I do know that I'm more miserable than I ever thought possible and that if I wasn’t so scared of heights, I'd probably be the one standing on a bridge, threatening to jump off. Even me with my head burying techniques can’t deny that though I went back to LA and left Brady and my heart behind, he will always be my home, he was always my one. Is he worth the pain if it all gets messed up again though?

"Come on." I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see Liv’s friendly and understanding face. "I'll show you my shoes for the wedding. They’re gorgeous!"

I nod enthusiastically, thankful for any distraction from the reflective mood I'm in and follow her out of the kitchen. We don’t see the guys on our way through the house but we do hear some talking on the front door step. Thankfully, the door is closed so I don’t have to face them after my embarrassment.

"They’re a little high but the dress is long and I don’t want it trailing on the floor too much." Liv explains as we walk into her bedroom.

I take a seat on the leather framed bed and watch as Liv walks to the closet and pulls out a box that almost makes me drool.

"Are those what I think they are?" I ask breathlessly, standing up and meeting Liv across the room.

I may look crazy but anyone passionate about shoes knows that these are like the damn holy grail. She pops the lid off and my knees almost buckle as a smug smile spreads across Liv’s face.

"These are the Daffodile Strass'. Pam got them me as a wedding present. You like?"

"I love." I groan, running my fingers over the delicate crystals covering the closed toe platforms.

I brush my fingers over the red soles, careful not to leave a fingerprint or a smudge. I wonder how long I'd need to save to get some of these. Probably two lifetimes.

"You like Louboutins then?" Liv asks and I give her an incredulous look. Seriously, who the hell doesn’t love Louboutins? Crazy people that’s who. Crazy people don’t like Louboutins.

"Good cause I got more surprises."

She places the box carefully on the bed and goes back into the closet, crouching down to get another box. I can feel my heartbeat getting faster with the thought that just maybe... No! I won’t be too presumptuous, it'll put me on a downer for days.

Coming back and carrying an identical box to the other one, she flips the lid and pulls aside the wrapping to reveal more shoes. These are equally exquisite but instead of platforms, they are a stiletto with a lace like look but in leather. Crystals run in a pattern covering the shoe and with scalloped edges.