Forever Is Over (105 page)

“
Bull! One of the two needs to go. We need a family day every
weekend.
”

“
Everton are only at home every other weekend, Jemma!
”

“
Yes and you work alternate Saturday mornings. You work the
weekends that you don
’
t go to Everton! Richie, I love you but seriously,
you are not pulling your weight for our family at the moment.
”

“
Two words spring to mind!
”

“
I hope they don
’
t start and end in
‘
F
’
”
Jemma said feistily.

“
Conjugal rights.
”

Jemma stopped pottering and turned to face me. She looked pale,
tired and the first few signs of wrinkles were appearing around her
beautiful eyes.

“
Richie, just help me out a little, that
’
s all I
’
m asking.
”

“
Jemma, help me out a little. I
’
m a man. I have needs.
”

“
Richie, I
’
m a woman, I have needs too. I need someone to help me
run this family. Melissa and Jamie need you to be a better father.
”

That hurt. Being described as a bad husband is hard enough to
take, being described as a bad father was a low blow. I was emotionally
wounded.

“
Jemma, I
’
m scared we
’
re drifting apart.
”

“
Then turn your boat around, Richie and paddle towards me.
”

“
I
’
m trying to. I just feel the undercurrent is taking you away.
”

All our previous arguments had never gone beyond the sex and the
housework debate, this was covering new ground. Jemma opened up
too.

“
Do you know what I think sometimes, Richie?
”

“
What?
”

“
That our relationship, in the early days was based too much around
sex. It set expectation levels that were never going to be sustainable once
we had children, but because we used to have sex every day, you think
we should still be having sex every day.
”

“
I don
’
t want sex every day. Just more than one night in thirty.
”

“
How often did you have sex with Kelly?
”

It was not untypical of Jemma to go off at a tangent. It was her
style.

“
Do you really want me to be answering that?
”

“
Yes. More or less than once a month?
”

“
I don
’
t know. Probably more.
”

“
Much more?
”

“
No. Probably not, but I wasn
’
t married to Kelly.
”

“
So what! You used to see her all the time though. The opportunity
was there. You didn
’
t expect to have sex all the time because that
’
s not
what fuelled your relationship. Maybe your relationship with Kelly was
built on love, whilst the foundations of our relationship were built on
lust.
”

“
Jemma, that is one of the craziest things you have ever come up
with!
”

“
Is it though? Compare the two of us, Kelly is classically pretty,
whilst I
’
m more old fashioned sexy. Kelly
’
s confidently timid, I
’
m ballsy.
I can understand why you were attracted to Kelly, but sometimes I think
maybe you were just attracted to me by desire. Now the passion has been
stripped out of our relationship, I wonder whether there is enough left
here to sustain your interest and sustain your love.
”

I kissed Jemma on the lips. It wasn
’
t a passionate kiss. It was the
type of kiss you give each other when you say goodnight and you both
know there will be no sex on the way. A peck.

“
You
’
re wrong, Jemma
”
, I said,
“
you are so wrong!
”

I continued to argue that Je
mma had totally misread things,

but deep down, at that point in
our relationship, I thought she
had it just
about right.

“
Do you not have a mirror in your house, Kelly?
”

I was on a lunch break with Kelly Watkinson, the most beautiful
woman in the world bar none and I could not believe what I was
hearing. Four years she had worked at Dillons and in that time, I had
just discovered, she had not had a serious boyfriend, not once. I knew she hadn
’
t in the six months I had been there, but I had presumed she
had been getting over a serious break up, but I was wrong. Not one
steady bloke in four years. I wanted to
find out why. No, I needed to
find out why!

“
What do you mean?
”
Kelly asked.

Some girls play on being coy and dumb, but that was not Kelly
’
s style,
she was just genuinely pleasant. If she said she did not understand what
I was getting at, she did not understand. There were no hidden agendas.
Kelly Watkinson was, in effect, my boss. I was a
“
Sales Assistant
”
at
Dillons and Kelly was
“
Assistant Manager
”
, she ran the store one day
a week and for an hour every day, when Nicholas, the manager, was
having his break. I had debated whether
‘
going out with my boss
’
was
something I could cope with. It was a short debate. The answer was an
emphatic
‘
yes
’
. If they wanted to relocate me to a Dillons igloo, selling
books to Eskimos in the North Pole, I would do it if it meant I had a
chance to be with Kelly. Every glimpse of her just took my breath away.
I could handle insignificant complications.

“
I just meant
‘
Look at yourself. Kelly!
’
”

I said this with a cheeky smile.

“
This is not a come on in any way, shape or form,
”
I continued,
“
but
you must know you are stunning. No other word would be fit to describe
you, other than stunning. Why are men not just queuing up?
”

It was a come on! Kelly was not just out of my league, she was 20
000 Leagues above me. If there ever came a time where my feelings
were reciprocated, I did not want Kelly to be in any doubt about how I
saw her. She certainly wouldn
’
t be now!

Following my flattering, but entirely truthful comments, Kelly
smiled at me, not coquettishly more an amused smile, as though my
comments were incomprehensible to her. I did not care too much about
the nature of Kelly
’
s smile, all I knew was that when she smiled back, it
induced feelings in me that should have solely been reserved for thirteen
year old girls, upon receipt of a smile from their favourite boy band
member. My God I had it bad!

“
Thank you, Roddy! Believe it or not, before the last four years, I
had a lot of boyfriends!
”

Why would that be hard to believe?

“
So what changed?
”
I asked.

They say opposites attract. I was hoping that saying was true. I
was sat opposite Kelly who was beautiful, smart, thin, fairly shy and
Northern and there was me, Roddy Baker, rough and ready, pretty
thick, not great looking, sturdy and more Cockney than the Bow Bells
themselves.

“
My outlook changed,
”
Kelly said as she crossed her legs. I was so infatuated with her, every single move
she made just drove me crazy.

             
“
In what way?
”

“
I fell in love again.
”

“
Who with?
”
thinking whoever he
was, he was a muppet. If Kelly
Watkinson fell in love with you, why on earth would you not just grab
the opportunity with both hands? I decided on the spot this guy was
a moron.

“
His name
’
s Richie.
”

I hated that name. I didn
’
t know anyone called Richie, but from
that moment forward, I hated that name. I instantaneously changed his
name to
‘
DICK
’
!

“
And where is Richie?
”

I said
‘
Richie
’
but thought
‘
DICK
’
!

“
Roddy, it
’
s a long story! A very long story!
”

“
I
’
m all ears!
”

“
Roddy, stop being so cheeky, there
’
s not enough time to tell you the whole story now!
”

“
Yes there is! There
’
s fifteen minutes before the end of our lunchbreak!
I will not say a word during those fifteen minutes. I
’
ll just listen. Come
on, Kelly! Fifteen minutes will cover it!
”

We were in the staff kitchen. Just the two of us. I used to go to
bed every night praying I
’
d have the same lunch break as Kelly. It was
a child-like crush, but I loved the way Kelly made me feel and I wanted
more of it. Kelly laughed her lovely, feminine, attractive laugh.

“
Is it possible for Roddy Baker not to speak for fifteen minutes?
”

“
Try me!
”

And so the story began
……

Kelly had had a crush on this bloke, Dick, since she was thirteen
and had been drinking cider at a bus shelter, spotted by a copper, rescued
by her sister and dragged to some party where she had met Dick.

Kelly had ignored him for years after the party, because she thought
he
’
d knobbed her sister (I bet he had too!) but after some poncey karaoke
outside her bedroom window, she had let him off.

Kelly and Dick started dating, it was all slushy-wushy and then
Kelly
’
s mother, who was more than just a bit of a pisshead, had died
and Kelly
’
s sister ended up getting arrested and charged. Fearing arrest
herself, Kelly buggered off to travel the world, abandoning Dick..

Several years later, Kelly bumped into some girl she half knew in
New Zealand. This girl knew Dick. The girl told Kelly what had been
happening with Dick, he had been really ill with cancer and even had
to have a bollock off. Kelly felt awful about Dick being ill whilst she
was away, even though he had recovered, so she had decided it was her
destiny to be with Dick. So she travelled back to Britain, but for some
girlie reason, decided not to go and find him, but instead she decided
to write him a letter.
Kelly posted this letter off but despite not hearing anything back,
every 4
th
July, she travelled up to some
‘
Lovers Lane
’
that they used to
shag on and she waited for him like an abandoned dog. She had been
back for four years and every year Dick did not show. In my mind, this
was probably down to the fact that he had not received the letter in the
first place or he had, but was shacked up with some other Goddess, so
did not give two hoots about Kelly
’
s declaration of love in her letter.
Either way, I concluded that Dick probably did not care a jot whether
Kelly was dead or alive, yet here I was, t
otally infatuated and prepared
to take a bullet for her. Which one of us was she interested in? Typical!