Forever Breathing (Just Breathe #3) (3 page)

I nod.

He turns and swims the other way not bothering with another word. I’ll give it to him; he definitely doesn’t waste any words.

Now I need to tell my sister. She’s in good hands, but I know she’ll still give me a hard time.

***

Knocking on the door to Amber’s dwelling, I get a little nervous. Ever has been taking everything really well lately. I think we’re all just waiting for her to do her usual freak out. Jack and I decided that the less she knows about everything, the better she’ll be, for now. I had to remind him that is that exact approach that got him and Ever into their previous situation. He agreed, so we decided we would answer all of her questions, just not offer anything extra.

Amber opens the door and ushers me in. As soon as I’m in, the water drains back down and I will my legs.

“Hey, James, how are you?”

“I’m good. How’s she doing today?”

“Better with each day that passes. Jack is in there right now.”

“Good, because I’m going back to land and I need to break it to her.”

She snickers, “Oh this should be good.”

I nod, rolling my eyes, knowing she is right on. I head for the sitting area situated in this room. I sit down in a chair and glance around the room. When the water is gone, the walls sparkle as if pieces of glitter are infused in them. The only thing I can relate to is how they look.

Amber strolls back in after a minute and sits in front of me.

“They will be right out.”

I ask curious, “Is she up and getting around now?”

“Yes, she came out last night to get her muscles moving again. She keeps hassling me about the air though. She wants her fin back.”

I chuckle, “Amber, if we were keeping her in water, she would ask for air. Thatt sor air.’s just Ever.”

She smiles, “Sometimes I don’t understand you guys.”

I laugh, “Don’t even try, especially Ever.”

Another voice pipes in, “What should she not try?”

I shake my head and get up, rubbing my hands on my shorts. I glance over at Amber and she gives me a sympathetic grin.

I gather my sister in a big hug making sure to stay away from her side. I look over her shoulder at Jack who looks so much different now. His face is completely at ease, the misery and worry I was used to seeing is just about gone.

I push her an arm’s length away and tease, “Hey, I’m so glad to see you up and moving around.  I think you’re going to live now.” I smirk.

She punches my shoulder and turns back to glance at Jack. He walks up and puts his arm around her shoulders.

I look from him then back to her and stammer, “I’m really glad Jack is here. Ever, I think I need to go home.” I wait for a reaction and there is almost no emotion on her face.

She looks up at Jack and back at me, “I think I’ll be okay. I knew you would want to go back.”

I have to hide my astonishment at her reaction. What happened to my sister? Jack nods his head at me and removes his arm from my sister holding it out to shake my hand. I grasp his hand still not sure if she’s going to tell me she’s only kidding.

“James, thank you for your support. I promise you that I will keep Ever safe.”

I shake his hand, really at a loss for words. This went way better than I thought it would.

Ever steps up, “Actually I think I’ll
walk
you out.”  She stresses the word, walk and looks back to Jack. He assents, shaking his head at her, “Ever, just be careful. Your side will probably hurt the first time you ‘will’ your fin back.”

A huge sloppy grin spreads across her face and she walks ahead of me to the door. She looks back at me and the door opens as water rushes in. I will my fin and watch her effortlessly do the same. A wince crosses her face and I hold my breath but the creases in her forehead fade as she swims forward. I look back one last time. Jack and Amber both wave.

I follow Ever out into the water. Debris is still scattered across every path visible from the battle. Slowly they are clearing it, very slowly.

Abruptly, Ever turns to face me.

“I need you to answer something before you go.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“Where did Alex go?” Worry crosses her features and she winds her long auburn hair around her hand. I knew she’d ask, I thought she probably asked Amber or Jack already.

“Ever, we don’t know where he went. No one found his body so maybe he left. Maybe he got out.”

She takes a deep breath as if she was holding it in, waiting for my answer. The worry doesn’t leave her face.

“But how do you know? There were lo There so many bodies, how would we know? Jack said the others were dead, did they find them but not Alex?”

Walking a thin line here.

“Ever, Jaspen was interested in finding him. He had crews looking for certain people, they didn’t find him…”  I don’t add that they didn’t find Sara, Metea, or Mersa either. Jack knows and we decided to keep this one little tidbit from Ever. Knowing Sara might still be out there, might push her to lose it. I know that Sara won’t be back, even if she is still alive. She was always scared of Jaspen and he’s the man in charge now.

I sigh, “I think I should go.”

She reaches for my arm and pulls me into a hug. She whispers in my ear, “Go find yourself and heal. I love you.” I squeeze her lightly one last time and think about Gam-aw’s apartment in the heart of Chicago.

Chapter 4

Ever

My brother disappears from my arms as I hug him. I’ll miss that guy. I think the best place for him right now is home. He has to find himself and get over Sara. Maybe he’ll find a nice girl with no ties to the sea. I can only wish.

James’ response to Alex’s whereabouts was not all bad. I was bracing myself for the worst. Since I’ve been awake from the injury, a large bit of guilt has settled over me. I can’t help but feel as if I led Alex on. Yes, I kept pushing him away but found myself a few times sucking face with him. Now he might be gone from this world. This thought pierces my heart, he is such a wonderful person and the world is worse off if he’s left it.

Behind me the door opens and the water around me shifts. Strong hands find their way around my waist. I lean back pushing all thoughts of Alex away. I’ll wallow in that pity party later. Jack’s lips caress my neck and I angle my head to give him more access, as tingles spread from my neck down to my fin. I turn, in his arms, and meet his lips with mine. After a moment, I pull away with tears in my eyes.

“Jack, I love you so much, with every single part of me. I am yours forever.”

He frowns, “What brought this on?”

I shrug, “I just want you to know.”

He smiles as he devours my lips once more, leaving us both panting for air.

***

And so the days go. We wake in each other’s arms, oh if my mom only knew, I squirm at the thought. We fall asleep in each other’s arms. I will never, not one day ever, tire of this amazing pe I rson who has chosen to spend forever with me.

The in-between of our days consists of a lot of work. This is the least favorite part for me. Everyone is helping to put the city back together and now with the help of the Erebus, the population has almost doubled. It’s a rare sight if we see Jaspen. He stays pretty confined to the Erebus caves, doling out orders. This is fine with me, he still kind of creeps me out with his yellow, spooky eyes.

Amber and Jack always make sure one of them is around to make sure I don’t exert too much energy. The arrow left a very small scar but I’m completely healed. I let them do the hover thing. I guess it makes them feel better.

The one beef I have right now is Jaspen’s sudden interest in Jack. We rarely see him but he summons Jack a lot. I think it makes Jack feel like he’s doing something. This thing has completely turned my life upside down. I have to keep reminding myself how it’s done the same to Jack’s life. One
minute he was a happy Lior, one of the most trusted, and the next he’s kicked out struggling to find his way back. Enter Ever Harding and the rest as they say is history. We are coping together and I think that is the best way to heal. 

***

Ever, Ever, help! Only you can help. Where did you go? I can’t find you. I turn and meet the green eyes that have been missing for a long while. I do a double take to make sure. “Alex? I’m right here.”  He lets out a deep breath, “Ever, I’ve been looking for you. Why did you leave me?” I look down and look back up as he fades away. I reach out and shout, “Alex, no don’t go! I’m so sorry! Wait!”

“Ever, Ever, hey, wake up.” I feel a hand running through my hair softly. It soothes my overbeating heart. Then I remember my dream. Alex, he was in trouble or something wasn’t right. I slowly open my eyes as I realize who is running his hands through my hair. As my eyes meet his, my silent question is answered, I must have called out in my sleep. I look away uneasily.

“Hey, are you alright? Were you having a nightmare?”

That’s a good question. Why is Alex popping into my head now? Guilt, that must be it. The guilt I feel, in increasing with each day that I don’t find out whether he is still alive or not. But how do I answer this without hurting Jack?

“Yeah, a nightmare.” I brush it away but catch the uncertainty in his eyes as he turns his head.

I sink back into the bunk trying to fully wake up. Suddenly Jack gets up and without looking back he tells me, “I have to go to the caves. Jaspen is planning a move to the castle pretty soon.”

I lay there staring at his back. How can just a few words put a wedge between us like this?

“Jack?”

He turns slowly, uncertain.

I hold out my arms to him with pleading eyes. He climbs over to me and lies down next to me. I push him onto his back and sit up so that I am looking down at him.

“I love you. I love you so much and nothing will ever change that.”

He smiles, “I know. I love you too. I will give you space though, if you need it. I don’t want to push youloo to pus away.” He brings his hand up to push my hair out of my face.

“I don’t need any space. My dreams they… I can’t control them.”

He nods, “I understand. I know you spent time with Alex.  I just don’t want you to be unhappy.”

I shake my head, “Jack, you have nothing to worry about.” I take a deep sea breath and continue as my heart speeds up, “He is a friend. A friend that I… truthfully…I am worried about. No one knows where he is…”
There, I feel better now, that I got that off my chest.

He pushes up so we are eye to eye. I watch as the blue in his eyes that has been present for weeks, gives way to the worrisome green. Damn that green!  He must know something and he kept it from me. I push up and swim across the room.

“You know something and you kept it from me all this time, didn’t you? What do you know?” I hear my voice waver and crack.

He gets up swimming toward me. The green in his eyes has pushed all remnants of blue away but his face is clear of worry. He holds his hands up in peace. I cross my arms and move away so I’m against the wall.

“Okay Ever, we didn’t tell you because well, because of this.”

My blood boils, “What? What is
this
, you mean you kept something from me again, because you didn’t want me to have a freak out? Well here’s me having a freak out without even knowing what you are about to say. You caused the freak out by keeping something from me. Are you happy? Here’s me freaking out Jack!” I can’t believe this is happening again. He is keeping things from me and I thought we were past this.

He sighs, “Ever, he’s still alive.”

My breath catches involuntarily and relief spreads. A frown crosses Jack’s face and he finishes with no emotion.