Forbidden Flowers (21 page)

Early marriages are often disastrous; the truth is not that many people cannot lead rich lives having known only one other person sexually. The truth is that too many people do not know themselves before they marry. A woman who marries the first man she ever goes to bed with is often plagued by lifelong curiosities like Ricky's. Her letter ends on a wistful note: “I guess some people would say I was a sexually frustrated person. I love sex and touching. I feel I need sex and affection to remain emotionally and mentally healthy….” Like the remaining women in this chapter, Ricky tells us the fantasies she uses to explore as yet untasted sexual pleasures at the feast of life.

Sherri

Thank you for
My
Secret Garden.
I only wish I could speak my mind, and I wish I could share my fantasies with my husband – but even after ten years of marriage, he still does not fully love me or trust me. I enclose three of my favorite fantasies for your new book. I hope it will help other women to bet-141

ter understand themselves as
My
Secret Garden
has helped me. My very best wishes for you and your future books.

My fantasies right now deal mainly with a couple with whom my husband and I spend a great deal of time. We are all in our early thirties, white, middle class, college educated.

My girl friend's husband is always kidding me about running off somewhere with him, or telling my husband that I'm the “prettiest girl in town” and that any man around would want to lay me if they had the chance. My husband thinks this is all a big joke, and though I've never encouraged this fellow in any way, I'm sure he'd screw me at the first opportunity if I gave him the okay. He's usually running his wife down in front of other people anyway, so she thinks that his comments to me are just another way of giving her a hard time.

On to the fantasy part:

Fantasy 1:
When I masturbate (daily at least!), I sometimes imagine that my girl friend is away on business, and I've agreed to take care of her kids for her. While the kids are at school, her husband comes home. We go through the usual jokes and propositions, but this time, I know he's going to go through with it if I want him to. He pulls me close to him and starts kissing my face and throat; then as I can feel his cock come erect against my belly, he forces his tongue into my mouth. We go into the bedroom, and he takes my clothes off very slowly. He lays me over the side of the bed with my knees over the edge and starts to lick and kiss my cunt. In between licks, he's telling me how beautiful I am, that my breasts are so much larger than his wife's and that my figure is so much softer and more curved than hers. After he's licked and sucked me to the point where I'm almost exhausted, he slides me up farther on the bed and slowly puts his cock in my cunt. I imagine it to be very long and hot. He keeps sliding it in and out without putting any weight on my body, so all I feel is this long hot cock slipping up and down in my cunt. Because I've gotten so wet with my own juice, it takes little effort for his cock to slide easily around in me. Finally, he jams it in so hard that I think I'm being ripped apart, and BAMMM!!! we both finish at the same time!

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Fantasy 2:
I imagine that my girl friend and I are alone in either her house or mine, and we know that no one will be coming home for a long time. She asks me to help her shave the sides of her pussy so that the hair won't show outside of her bathing suit. I agree to help her, so we go into the bedroom, and while she lays on the bed with her legs apart, I start to shave her. By the time I've finished, we're both very excited over me touching her crotch. We both realize that we want to make love to one another. Then we take our clothes off and begin to kiss one another while lying very close together, face to face. I move down and start kissing and sucking on her breasts, then move lower and get between her legs. Her cunt is already starting to get wet when I push my tongue up in her.

For a long time, I lick her from her anus up to her clit, then run my tongue around her clit and kiss it or suck on it very softly. Then I start pressing harder with my tongue on her clit and stick my tongue up her cunt as far as I can. I keep this up until she comes. Then I let her rest just a moment before I lick her clit and vulva clean of her juice. After a short rest, then she goes down on me. First, she plays with my breasts, but what she really wants to do (what I want her to do!!!) is to get to my crotch. She does the same things to me that I've done to her, but she has a longer tongue than I have, so she can reach farther up into me than I did with her. She finally finishes me off by putting her top lip over my clit and her tongue up my cunt. I can feel the softness of the inside of her lip and the hardness of her teeth against my clit. After I come, she licks all my juice off of me.

Fantasy 3:
(This fantasy has nothing to do with this couple.) I've traveled back in time to Imperial Japan (about An 1500), and I'm being given to the emperor as a gift. (I don't know who's giving me away or why.) I know that the emperor has never had a white woman before, and he, is very excited about me. I'm bathed, perfumed, and dressed in a beautiful kimono.

Even though the kimono is heavy and completely concealing, I'm very aware that I have nothing on underneath it. When I'm brought before the emperor, everyone in the court stops talking and turns toward me. He has me stand next to him and opens 143

my kimono so that everyone can see how beautiful my body is.

He touches my hair (on my head) and then touches and strokes my pussy, because he's so taken by the sight and feel of soft blonde hair. He has attendants take me to his bedroom to await him. They remove my kimono and lay me on the bed (on the floor – Japanese style). When the emperor comes in, he sits in a low chair by my side and motions a huge, handsome guard to get me ready for him. The guard kneels between my legs and starts to lick my vulva and clit. He keeps on licking in long hot strokes and running his tongue (a very long one) up my cunt faster and faster. Now the emperor has opened his kimono, and I see that he has a huge cock that is hard and stiff as a piece of wood, and it has this beautiful soft, brown tip. Even though the guard is driving me wild with his tongue up my cunt, I move over to the emperor and start to suck his cock. He doesn't try to shove it deeper into my throat, he just leans back in his chair and enjoys what I'm doing to him while he runs his hands through my long blonde hair. By now the guard is under me with his tongue up my cunt as far as he can. Just as the emperor comes and his juice shoots into my mouth, I climax from what the guard is doing to me, and push as hard as I can against his face with my crotch.

Ginger

I love your book. What a TURN-ON! I wish I could have contributed to it, but I want to tell you about myself. I married a man fifteen years my senior. For the most part, he's a codger and leaves me unsatisfied. I don't know How to have an orgasm. We only have sex once a week or less. He's thirty-eight; I'm twenty-three. We've been married four years. I've yearned to have affairs, but I'm not beautiful and never have found anyone who would lay me. I never asked men to, but hinted around and tried to lead them on. (It never worked.) I used to fantasize about famous men: Dick Martin, Tom Snyder. The past week, I've fantasized about the clerk in the bookstore where I bought your book. I had two encounters with him, but I 144

don't remember him, although he said we went to the same high school. He's engaged and I want to lay him before he gets married. I feel very bad about “Nobody wants me sexually.” It's such a downer with my husband's apparent lack of desire. I feel suicidal about it sometimes. Nancy, I'd screw ANYBODY!!! (or anything!)

Jim, the man I loved deeply, never asked me out when I was single (I don't like to remember that I asked him out, and he flat-out, rather tactlessly refused to go out with me). Jim is married now, and I don't think he knows how much I still love him. I've had a lot of fantasies about trying to trap Jim into fucking … or even just touching me. I fantasize that the next time he comes over alone I fake that I've just been assaulted in my apartment when he finds me. I'd lay there “pretending” to be “out.” I'd be wearing torn-off clothing, with my legs wide open and my bare pussy peeking out. I'd be positioned with my head against something hard, with some blood on my scalp.

He'd
have
to pick me up off the floor and carry me to the couch or my bed. He'd pay attention to me. Who knows, he might even fuck me! I'd “come to” after a reasonable length of time.

I'd make him promise not to call the police. I'd tell him it was incest … like my husband's brother was the one who'd raped me. The major difference between this fantasy and the ones in your book is that I don't feel guilty about it. I'm manipulating him to the point where he can take advantage of me or not. His choice. At any rate, he'd have to touch me. That would be enough. But I'm not tied up or being forced into it. I'd do it, willingly, gladly, and guiltlessly – damn it, if anyone would only do it with me!

The other women fantasies and the dog fantasies turn me on.

Once
my husband
made up a good airport fantasy: we're total strangers in the airport terminal. I'm walking along, and he's walking in back of me. I've no panties on and a short skirt, and I'm struggling with several pieces of luggage, my handbag, and sunglasses. I drop my sunglasses. He is unzipped, with his throbbing cock sticking out of his pants. I bend over from the waist to pick up what I've dropped, and he “bumps” into me.

We both struggle with our luggage and fall facedown on the 145

floor. We both screw slowly and gradually other people casually come along and join in. We rearrange ourselves face up, and we all roll around and suck and fuck each other.

In reality, I want my husband to suck and kiss and lick my cunt. He won't, willingly, only when I really pressure and nag him to do it to me. Last night, I got a hunch and acted on it. I carefully selected two of the fantasies from your book and read them to him, casually. They were “Jo” and “Wanda” (The Zoo). He got a hard-on. I want a big dog. I've fucked with a dog when I was a teenager and liked it. I think my husband would be quite stimulated ,to see the dog fucking me, and he'd probably mount the dog all at the same time. We live in an apartment where dogs aren't permitted, so it will be at least two years before I can get one, unless I can “borrow” one somewhere. I much thank you for caring enough to ask us for our fantasies.

How in the world are you going to top
Secret Garden?
I've been in a constant state of “moistness” since yesterday morning, when I started reading it!

Ricky

I want to write you because I enjoyed
My
Secret Garden
so very much. I found it informative, interesting, entertaining, funny, shocking, and even a bit stimulating (sexually).

I fantasize. I've tried to imagine my husband as another man, but have failed. He is the only man I have ever had intercourse with, and after three years of simply one man, I have found that his feel, his mannerisms, are too familiar to get into my head that he is another man.

I do daydream about sex. I am terribly curious if there is a noticeable difference between men. Can you tell the difference in their size just from the feel of their organ deep (or not so deep) inside that warm, soft spot? Are their “styles” noticeably different? I want to know so very much and plan to know no matter if I am married or not.

My husband was in the Navy when we met and started to sleep together. (There was no “sleeping” until we were married 146

though.) He brought home from the South Pacific and the Orient a few tricks. He showed me so many positions that I can't number them nor do I care to. After a while, even the most bizarre positions become boring. The day we were married, he lost a great deal of interest in sex. He says that there was a great deal of “challenge” before we were married. Now it is here anytime he wants it. He turns to me when he feels the urge, not the deep beauty of it, but the natural call of his sexual drive. About eight to fourteen days apart and never more than once a night. He is always ready for me to give him head though. Not to have sex or eat me when I feel like it.

My daydreams are of men I have met. I imagine we’re alone, and he tenderly, slowly makes love to me. No, I make love to him right back. He shows that he really enjoys what I do to and with him. He moves about, he makes low, sexy noises, he holds me tighter. (My husband is a quiet man, never makes a sound. He claims to have only one “hot spot” – his dick.) We give and take from each other in the most beautiful act in creation. So far I have not been able to set an end to this fantasy. I sometimes have a climax during it, but that isn't all too important to me. (I always enjoy foreplay the most.) Sometimes the man is famous. My idol is Joe Namath.

Sometimes he is a man I have met casually; sometimes he is a friend of my husband's. My husband knows that I have a sexual attraction to this
one
friend of his. It came out in a “What if” conversation. He knows and I believe myself when I say I doubt if I could carry through with an affair. It would take an advance from the man. A subtle one, a tender one.

I feel I wouldn't be honest if I didn't tell you that I do have this “daydream” about my half-brother. We have the same father. Both our mothers were divorced from our father, and we seldom saw each other in sixteen years. He finally became closer and closer to our father. (I always was, though not sexually attracted to our father.) We began seeing each other and writing. Since we did not have a chance to develop a brother-sister relationship, I do not feel that way toward him. I feel at times that he does not regard me as a “sister.” He is a tender person, and I sometimes feel he would like to ball me as I 147

would him. The fact that we have the same father seems to stop us both. I know if he would let me know or make a move, I would jump. I am not afraid to be the instigator in sex. I just need to know the man I'm interested in is interested in me. He comes on (my brother) as a very sensual person. He belongs to a nudist camp in the hills. He is also a very sensual photographer. Soft, moody, beautiful works. (Our father is a photographer; he is a part-time pro.)