Forbidden Broadway: Behind the Mylar Curtain (99 page)

NACHUM

KELLY

SALLY

ALL THREE

SALLY and KELLY

[FYEDKA enters, looking like he just walked out of the
pages of Instinct magazine.]

FYEDKA

Hello, Sally.

SALLY

[Shyly.]

Hello, Fyedka.

FYEDKA

I have a book for you.

SALLY

Oh.

FYEDKA

It's Madonna's new Christmas book. It's filled with eyepopping photos. Look, there's me nude sunbathing in
South Beach.

[She looks over his shoulder and reads, enthralled. [

SALLY

I am forbidden to read such things.

FYEDKA

Then take it, hide it, and read it in your outhouse. We
can discuss it over coffee at The Big Cup.

[He goes off, but not before ALFRED has re-entered and
seen him talking with SALLY.[

ALFRED

Chava, what were you and that boy talking about?

SALLY

Nothing, Papa.

ALFRED

Good. Chava, you must not forget who you are and
what that boy is.

SALLY

He has a name, Papa. And a hot body.

ALFRED

No, Chava! He is not one of us. He is from that other
part of town: Chelsea! He is different.

SALLY

I know, Papa. But I can change him. I know I can!

ALFRED

No, Chava, no! Those boys can never change. He can
never be one of us! As the "good script" says, "A straight
girl may love a Chelsea boy, but where will they buy
real estate together?"

SALLY

Where does the "good script" say that?!

ALFRED

I don't know, but somewhere it says something that
sounds vaguely Jewish. I just can't make it sound right!
It's late! It's almost Sabbath! Where's your mother?
Golde! Golde!

[GOLDIE enters.[

(;OLDIE

Here I am, but I'm Goldie now. I've Anglicized my name.

ALFRED

What are you wearing?

(;OLDIE

My apron is Chanel, my babushka is Ralph Loren. It's
"peasant chic."

ALFRED

Well, it's almost sundown. Quick, get the candles. Get
the Manischewitz!

GOLI)IE

No, this is a British interpretation of Sabbath. Get the
candelabra! Get the martini glasses! Come, girls, hurry!
Take those babushkas off! Put on your tiaras!

ALL

Here's cheers!

ALFRED

GOLDIE

BOTH

GOLDIE

ALFRED

ALL