Forbidden Broadway: Behind the Mylar Curtain (121 page)

FRAU KNUPPLEDICK

Zip it! Donny and Marie wouldn't touch this script. And
look at these filthy lyrics! Barbra Streisand will never
record these songs.

MELCHIOR

Oh, I don't know. She might identify with "The Bitch of
Living"...

[FRAU KNUPPLEDICK begins to beat Melchior with a
stick. ]

FRAU KNUPPLEDICK

Quiet!

MELCHIOR

Ow. Ow. Ow. Dammit!

FRAU KNUPPLEDICK

Do you really think this show can play Louisville?
Tulsa? Beantown?

[MELCHIOR unzips his fly, pulls a microphone out, and
sings.]

MELCHIOR

IMORITZ and WENDLA einter.I

MORITZ

WENDLA

MELCHIOR

ALL THREE

FRAU KNUPPLEDICK

MELCHIOR

FRAIL KNUPPLEDICK

Mechior Gabor, answer me!

MORITZ and WENDLA

MELCHIOR

MELCHIOR, MORITZ, and WENDLA