Forbidden (29 page)

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Authors: Rachel van Dyken,Kelly Martin,Nadine Millard,Kristin Vayden

Tags: #Romance, #Regency, #Regency Romance, #london romance, #fairtale romance, #fairytale london romance, #fairytale romance regency, #london fair tale romance, #london fairtale, #regency fairytale romance

BOOK: Forbidden
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Through it all, Rebecca screamed at me,
yelled at me to stop. Stop? Can you imagine? Telling me to stop
attacking the person who'd hurt her? No. There was no way I would
allow this man to live.

She begged again for me to stop, and it just
made me squeeze harder. Simon put his puny little hands up to mine
to try to release my grasp, but as we have already covered, I was
much bigger, much stronger, much more everything than he was. I
could have snapped his neck without any trouble. It wouldn't have
been difficult at all, but I enjoyed watching the look in his eyes
as he realized his life was ending and it was ending because he
dared put his hands on my love.

"He hurt you." I said without question. My
voice was calm even to my ears, and when I think back on it, I have
to wonder how. I was filled with anger. Filled with frustration.
Filled with horror of what could have happened if I hadn't walked
in and stopped it.

"No," she said beside me with her hands
pulling on my arm. "No, he didn't. Stop, Frederick, please. You'll
hurt him."

"That's the idea, my love." I sneered at him
as I watched his eyelids droop. "No one puts their hands on what's
mine. No one hurts a woman in my presence."

"He wasn't hurting me."

"I saw him!" Simon's legs buckled and he fell
to the floor. I followed and didn't let him go. We were close to
the fire. So close. And I could see Simon much more clearly now. I
enjoyed watching him suffer. I liked feeling his heartbeat slowing
down as my hand clamped his throat.

I would kill him to defend Rebecca, and no
one would think me ill.

"You saw what you wanted to see," she
screamed as she began hitting my back. The thing about Rebecca you
must understand is even when someone hurt her, she defended them.
She was much too nice and too good for her own safety.

"Why would I want to see him hurting
you?"

"He wasn't…" She began but was stopped when
footsteps entered behind us.

"What, in God's name?" I knew that voice and
I hated that voice.

Anthony came up behind me and tried to pry me
off of Simon. He was stronger than Simon, I gave him that, but
still, I was enraged and that was hard to fight. "What are you
doing? Let him go!"

"He put his hands on Rebecca. He was going to
hurt her, just as you accused me of hurting her, and you dare
defend him?" I kept my eyes on Simon and watched as the last few
traces of life left him. He'd stopped fighting. His eyelids
fluttered and I knew he had only seconds to live.

"Damn it, Frederick! Let him go!" Anthony
screamed in my ear and pulled back as hard as he could.

My hands had tired, unfortunately, and when
he pulled back with all his might, I lost my grip and fell to the
floor. Simon, that heartless coward, began coughing and, yes,
breathing. He rolled over onto his side as he tried to catch his
breath — the same breath I had tried so hard to take away.

And do you know what happened next? Did
Rebecca come running to me and thank me for being her hero? Did
Anthony give Simon the same lecture he gave me?

I can answer you those questions right
now.

No. None of that happened.

I was accused of being the villain. The
Villain!

I'd saved Rebecca!

I'd avenged her honor!

And I was the in the wrong? How does that
even make sense? I can tell you right now, it doesn't. Not in the
least. Not in the slightest.

Rebecca didn't run to me. She didn't throw
her arms around my neck and tell me how much she appreciated what I
did for her. She didn't tell me she loved me, as I had proven my
love to her.

No. She ran past me, fell on the floor at my
feet, and threw her arms around Simon.

And I just stood there, leaning on the desk
to try to stop my legs from shaking, and watched them because I
could not fathom what in the world was happening.

She stroked Hartwell's hair and told him
everything would be alright. She placed her hands gently on either
side of his face and held it, so she could look into his eyes.

Those hands should have been on face. She
should have told me everything was alright.

I didn't understand any of it and I wanted
answers. I needed them now.

"You need to leave." Anthony said as he
clamped his hand on my shoulder. "You are no longer welcome in my
home."

"Me?" I scoffed and pushed his hand off of
me. "What about him? Simon is the one who attacked Rebecca and no
one seems to care! If it were I, as you wrongly assumed in the
garden, you would have had my hide!"

"That's enough." He said and grabbed my arm
to led me out of the study. I pulled away and, without thinking,
bent down and grabbed Rebecca, pulling her to me.

I needed to look into her eyes and try to
understand all of this nonsense. Anthony yelled my name and Simon
croaked out Rebecca's, but I wouldn't stop. I needed answers and I
would get them.

"Rebecca… my love." I began and held her like
we were the only two people in the room, like the other two men had
vanished away, leaving just the two of us. The only two people who
mattered in the world. "Rebecca, look at me, please." My voice was
calmer now as I blocked out everyone else and just focused on the
sweet face of the woman I loved.

To my happiness, she complied and looked deep
into my eyes. My sweet Rebecca looked at me like she loved me
again. "Rebecca, you are much too kind for this world. You befriend
people, men like Simon, who do not deserve it. You defend them. You
care for them, and that, my dear, is honorable. It is sweet. It is
kind, but it is also dangerous." I let one of her arms go and
gently touched her cheek. "Someday, you will give a man like Simon
Hartwell the wrong idea. He will think you love him when you don't.
You can't… because you love me…"

She tried to speak, but I placed my finger
over her lip to quiet her. She needed to listen to me. "You love
me, Rebecca. I know it. I knew it the moment you saw me outside. I
knew it in the garden. What Simon thought you felt for him, it
wasn't your fault. Believe me when I tell you that. It was his for
reading the wrong ideas from your kindness. He is a fool for
thinking you had feelings for him when you have obviously given
your love to me."

Her breathing increased and a tear fell from
her cheek. I had heard stories of women swooning over a man and I
had to believe this was what Rebecca did at that moment. See, I
wasn't wrong. She loved me and she wanted to be with me as much as
I wanted her. "I love you, Rebecca Eaton. I love you with my whole
heart and I would love nothing more than for you to be my
wife."

She whimpered against my finger and dropped
her gaze away from mine, clearly overwhelmed by my sudden proposal,
but I had to do it that quickly so other men would know she was a
taken woman and not get the same wrong idea as stupid Simon
did.

I became keenly aware that Rebecca and I
weren't alone in the room when a hand, Anthony's presumably,
clamped down on my shoulder. "You need to leave her alone. You have
made fool enough of yourself."

Can you imagine? Anthony thinking I had made
a fool of myself when clearly it was Simon. I chose not to speak to
him and focus only on Rebecca. "Rebecca, please look at me." She
didn't. "Please." I tilted her chin so her eyes met mine, her eyes
swimming with tears. Women cry at marriage proposals, you know. "I
love you, Rebecca. I love you with my whole heart."

"You only just met me." Her voice
quivered.

I smiled. "True, but look at Romeo and
Juliet. They only knew each other mere hours before they declared
their love."

"And you know how that ended, do you not?"
she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Are you afraid we will become the same?" I
ran my finger over her cheek and wiped away the stream of tears. I
never wanted to be the cause of her sadness. I never wanted to hurt
her.

"No, Mr. Dodsworth. I'm simply afraid."

The use of my formal name felt like a knife
in my heart. I felt my own tears stinging my eyes, but I refused to
let them drop. I would not cry in front of a lady and I most
certainly wouldn't cry in front of my former friends. "Why be
afraid of me? I would never hurt you. I love you too much for
that."

"You need to let her go now," Anthony said,
but I didn't want to listen.

And then it hit me. Clarity. "Did he talk to
you before I could?" I grabbed her arms and shook her so she would
answer. "Anthony? Did he talk to you before I could?"

"Stop." Anthony demanded, but I refused. I
needed to know because my mind had finally figured out what was
going on. It was there all along and I was too slow to see it.

"Did Anthony tell you about me?" I gripped
her arm tighter because I couldn't stop myself. I needed answers. I
needed her to speak. I needed her to say something!

Instead of saying anything, she simply nodded
and looked down on the floor, looked past me and at Simon coughing
on the floor.

My entire world stopped as the weight of what
had transpired finally hit me. Anthony had seen how much Rebecca
loved me outside in the gardens. He had run to meet her before I
could and told her of my lineage.

"How could you?" I looked away from Rebecca
for the first time and glared at Anthony. "How could you do this to
me?"

"I did nothing to you. You did it yourself,"
he said, making no sense.

"I brought my birth on myself? Is that what
you are saying?" I let Rebecca go, for I needed both hands to
throttle Anthony. The betrayer.

"I
chose
to be born to a commoner, not
a titled man like yourself? I wanted all of this? I wanted my
father to die before my birth? I wanted my mother to have to raise
me, a boy, herself?" As I said these words, I pushed his chest and
forced him back until he hit the wall of the study with such force
that books toppled to the floor. Neither of us looked. "Do you
truly believe that I wanted the life I have now? That I wanted the
birth I had? Because if you believe that then you are even more
simple than I first thought." I grabbed his jacket with both hands
and slammed him back against the bookshelf. "How dare you do this
to me? How dare you betray me? You were my friend!"

"I still am your friend," he had the nerve to
say. I would have laughed if it wasn't so sad.

"My friend? You're still my friend after
everything you've done to me tonight?"

"I've done nothing but protect my
cousin."

"You betrayed me!" I yelled, hurting my own
ears. Someone would most assuredly hear us and come in the door at
any moment and I most certainly did not care. I wasn't thinking of
anyone but myself and I needed to know why.

"I didn't betray you. I simply told Rebecca
the truth. She deserved to know the truth, did she not?"

"The truth you could not wait for me to
give?" I sneered, feeling my fingers itch to encircle Anthony's
neck just as they had Simon's

"The truth
you
do not know." Anthony
said, taking me aback.

"I know the truth about myself, thank you. My
father was a good man. A wealthy man, but he wasn't titled. When he
died before my birth, a benefactor of my father's choosing took
care of my mother and me. What more is there to know? How is that
something Rebecca should walk away from?"

Anthony straightened and forced me to let him
go, though I did not want to. I felt my strength wane as I tried to
figure out the complicated puzzle everyone else in the room seemed
to know, except me, which vexed me since it was my life they knew
about. "The man you believe is your father, isn't your real
father," he said simply.

I scoffed and stepped back. "And how would
you know that? Were you there?"

"It is a well-known fact, Frederick. To
everyone, it seems, but you. I learned of it. I told Simon…."

"And Rebecca."

"Because she needed to know." He had a new
determination in his eyes as if he truly thought he'd done the
right thing. There aren't bad enough words invented in this world
to describe his treachery.

"Then who is my real father? And why would my
mother not tell me?" I did not believe him, no, I take that back.
Some part of me believed him because, even as a young child, I had
questions about my father that my mother never answered. Why did
she have no letters? Why did I have no grandparents on my father's
side? Why did we have to move from Everdale before I was born? So
many things did not add up, but I chose to believe my mother's word
above all else. After all, why would she lie to me?

"This isn't the time or the place for this
conversation." Anthony whispered and I laughed.

"Not the time? Obviously you found time to
tell Simon and Rebecca. Why not tell me? The person who needs to
know the truth above all else, or at the very least, your version
of the truth." My voice shook and I was powerless to stop it. I
hated that feeling.

"Very well. Sit." Anthony motioned at a chair
behind me, but I refused to budge. "Very well," he said again with
an exasperated sigh. "Your true father is Joseph Crothwaite, Duke
of Monroe."

I laughed even harder and staggered back. "A
duke? I'm the son of a duke? Have you gone mad?"

"It is true."

"And how do you know?"

"You do not have to believe me, but ask your
mother when you get home. I'm sure she will tell you the tale,"
Anthony replied.

"According to you, she hasn't told me the
truth in all these years. Why would she start now?"

Anthony shrugged as if he was bored with our
conversation. As if I meant nothing to him. "I suppose that is up
to you to figure out."

"If I am who you say I am and the duke I'm
assuming is the benefactor who has paid for everything my entire
life, why keep me hidden? I am titled, just as you are, if what you
are saying is the truth. So, Rebecca has no reason not to want to
marry me." I felt the slightest tension in my shoulders decrease.
You might think I'd be ill at my mother for lying to me, but I was
not. If what Anthony said was true — and I found out later it was —
then I was gentry. I could give Rebecca everything she wanted. We
had no issues between us, or so I thought.

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