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"Frederick," I interrupted. "Please, call me
Frederick, at least when we are not in the company of others."

Her lips curved up slightly. "Frederick." My
heart felt as if it would burst from my chest. My name sounded
wonderful coming from her lips. No one, except my mother of course,
had ever called me by my Christian name, and it sounded like angels
singing, if I can be so cliché.

"Frederick," she said again, making my heart
pound in my ears. Never in my life had I felt such an overwhelming
emotion running through me. Never. I wanted Rebecca as mine so it
would last forever. I needed it to last forever. Rebecca gently
tugged at her hands and removed them from mine. Her face which had
once been so full of love and passion turned downcast and she
turned so I could not see her fully. "I have something I must tell
you."

I know now that I should have been concerned
about her sudden turn. I know that I should have questioned it
more, but I didn't because, be it ever so silly to you, I trusted
her. I had no reason not to trust her. And I loved her — love did
strange things to me and I vow never to let it control me ever
again.

Love — the most vile of sins.

I heard her words, she had something to tell
me, but couldn't grasp anything horrible for there was no way she
would or could have done something evil. "Whatever it is, it can
wait, Miss Rebecca."

I had my own truth to tell her and I didn't
want to sully the night, waste it on petty confessions. We were
alone. That was all that mattered.

"No," she said backing away. "No. I must tell
you this before we go any farther. I've made…"

But I didn't listen. "Whatever it is, it is
fine. I assure you. I am infatuated with you. Nothing you can tell
me will change that." Thinking back on the hope in my voice… I was
a different person back then.

She took another step back, but I couldn't
let her do that. She was slipping away, just when I'd gotten her.
Whatever this secret was tore her apart and I couldn't let that
happen. I grabbed her arm and spun her to face me. "Don't do this."
I held her wrists in my hands. "Please, whatever it is you feel you
need to tell me, I don't care. I care about you. I want to be… with
you."

"Please stop" She said as a cold tear fell
down her cheek. She tried to pull away. I wouldn't let her because
I knew… I knew that if I let her go, she would go forever and I
couldn't understand why.

"You brought me here," I said, my confusion
and fear caused me to tighten my grasp on her wrists.

"I did." Her voice trembled.

"You brought me here because you care for me,
as I care for you." It wasn't a question. I knew it… I knew it!

"Frederick," she pulled on her wrists, but I
wouldn't let her go. I needed her close to me. Everything seemed so
confusing. She had brought me there. She's smiled at me. She had
laughed, not at me, but with me. Not two moments before, she loved
me and now whatever she had to tell me was breaking us apart? No…
no. I wouldn't let that happen. I couldn't.

When I tightened my grip, I saw something in
her eyes I never wanted to see. Fear. She was becoming afraid of
me, and I couldn't understand why. All I wanted was to be close to
her. All I needed was for her to be close to me. And I keep saying
it, but I couldn't understand — at the time — why she was acting
like this.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked, not
letting go. I couldn't let her go.

"I had to tell you something and I didn't
feel it was proper to tell you in front of all those guests or your
friends." Her voice quivered in the cold.

"Yes. I know. You had to tell me something.
That's why I followed so willingly."

She backed away and I followed, still holding
her hands. "You were going to tell me you love me, just as I love
you."

"Frederick…" She shook her head, causing the
hood to fall from her cloak. "I just…."

Her back hit the railing of the veranda and
she had no place to go — no place to escape from her true feelings.
"Rebecca," I had never spoken to her so informally. I couldn't help
it. Desperate times. I used her hands in mine to tilt her chin up
so she could look into my eyes and truly see how much I cared for
her. She needed to know and then she wouldn't be so scared.
"Rebecca, whatever it is, you have to tell me, it doesn't matter.
It is fine. You could have committed the greatest sin of them all,
and it would not matter to me."

She whimpered and trembled against me. I took
it as a good sign. "Please, don't do this."

I could not fathom what she meant by that.
Don't do what? Profess my love? Tell her that her past didn't
matter to me because I loved her for who she was now? I ask you,
how is that bad?

I smiled as warmly as I could to reassure
her. "You have nothing to fear from me, my sweet, sweet Rebecca. I
would never hurt you."

Another tear rolled down her cheek and I
didn't understand why. I hoped it was a happy tear because she had
finally found her match. Did ladies not do that in the storybooks?
Did they not cry from happiness when a man came along offering to
take care of them — protect them for the rest of their days? Love,
security, what more could a woman want?

"But I might hurt you," was her answer.

I didn't take the time to comprehend what she
said. I didn't want to understand it, truth be told. I wanted her
to stop talking, to stop thinking. I wanted her to feel what I was
feeling, to not care about titles or money or whatever the past had
done to us. "You could never hurt me." I laughed as if it was the
most ludicrous idea in the world. How could she hurt me? It wasn't
possible, especially since I knew, even though she had not told me,
how she felt about me. I saw it in her eyes the first time I'd met
her. She couldn't deny it.

"Please back away," she said, and her lip
quivered from the cold.

"Not until you tell me you believe me."

"Please," she said again, pushing against
me.

But… I couldn't let her go. Not until she
understood. Not until she put aside whatever thing she had to tell
me and believe what I was telling her. I felt a tear slide down my
own face and I fought not to wipe it away. If I did, I'd have to
let her go and I couldn't let that happen. "I'm not going to hurt
you. I just need you to stay with me. Just for a little while
longer. I need you to know…"

"I knew this was a mistake and we must return
to the party before others start noticing we are away." She pushed
against me again and again I refused to concede. "Let me go," she
said more forcefully.

My mind raced in all directions. What had
happened in such a short amount of time? It made no sense. "I can't
do that. I need you to understand."

"Oh, I understand."

"No… you don't. You don't understand. Why did
you bring me out here tonight, Rebecca? Why?"

"I told you." Her voice became more and more
forceful. "I had to tell you something and I wished it not be in
the company of others."

"I only care what it is if it was to declare
your love for me."

Her eyes widened. "Frederick… Mr. Dodsworth…
this…"

"Because I love you." I couldn't hold it in
any longer. I bent toward her so hastily she could not stop me if
she wanted and, with her hands still in mine, I did what I'd wanted
to do since I first met her: I took her lips as my own.

Her body, the body I dream about even to this
day, stiffened under me and I could feel her surprise. She tried to
lean back farther, but I wouldn't let her. Her hands were very tiny
and mine, as you know, are big, so I positioned both her of her
hands in one of mine and placed my other hand on the back of her
head to steady her.

She moaned against my lips and I knew she
wanted me as much as I wanted her.

Finally, I was able to show my love in a way
I knew she would understand. Words were just words. Actions spoke
volumes. As the snowflakes swirled around us and the chilly
December wind blew, I kissed Rebecca Eaton, I declared my love, my
desires… In that instant, I knew beyond a doubt that I was hers —
and she was mine. Forever and always.

I leaned back and broke off the kiss, just so
I could see her face. Tears — happy tears I decided — slid down her
rosy cheeks and she looked up at me with big, round eyes. "I love
you. I promise to always take care of you and never let you go. I
promise."

Without waiting for an answer, I took her
lips again, feeling her against me again, forcing her mouth open
this time and claiming her in the way I'd thought about all
night.

I rubbed my thumb over her hands to let her
know it was alright. That I felt the same way too.

In that moment, I believed God was blessing
us. He was forming one heart between us. I had no doubts that He
wasn't, for I had what I wanted. Rebecca Eaton was mine: heart,
body and soul.

"What in God's name
…?
Let her go!"

I heard his words and I wanted them to be a
bad dream, a figment of my imagination. I refused to comply in fear
that it really was a voice in my mind and I would release her
without cause.

"Frederick! I said let her go!" I felt a hand
clamp on my shoulder and pull me backwards. The shock of it all
caused me to release the kiss and Rebecca's hands. She fell back
against the railing. After taking a few deep breaths, she placed
her hand to her bosom and bent over slightly as if unable to
breathe properly.

I understood how she felt for I couldn't
catch my breath either. I had kissed women in my life, none of them
meant anything to me I have to say. But that kiss with her… it took
my breath away and I had to fight to get it back. If it did nothing
else, it reassured me of her feelings for me. Though she had never
told me, as I said, I knew by her actions how she felt. It was not
that difficult to decipher. She wouldn't have kissed me back if she
hadn't wanted me to kiss her. Easy. Simple. To the point. The way
love should be. But our intruder, her stupid cousin Anthony, took
the beauty and the simplicity and turned it around. I could see it
in his eyes what he thought was happening, and he was dead
wrong.

"She brought me here," I said first before he
could speak any of the ill and vile words I could see forming in
his mind.

"And I am supposed to believe that?" His
nostrils flared. "Why would she do that?"

"To tell me she loved me… away from you, away
from everyone." My fists balled and I had to fight not to do the
one thing I'd never done in my life — well, perhaps not the one
thing, but the one thing I never thought I would do: I wanted to
break Anthony's nose.

Anthony looked over my shoulder at Rebecca
and stared at her for the longest time. I suppose his simple mind
couldn't fathom love. True love. Real love. Honest love. We hadn't
done anything to be ashamed of, and, in my mind, I knew we would be
married soon — though I needed to ask her and tell her my
secret.

"Go back to the house. You'll catch your
death from this cold." He motioned over his shoulder. "Go on
now."

Rebecca hesitated for a brief second then
complied. She reached the bottom of the steps and turned toward me.
From the torchlight, I saw her full red lips, red from our kiss,
and I wanted nothing more than to take them again. "If I gave you
the wrong idea, I am sorry."

"Don't apologize to him, Rebecca. Go on,
now." Anthony had the nerve to say. To treat her like his own
property and tell her what to do? What was going on with him? He
had always been a level headed chap until today and it was as if he
had become bewitched.

"No, Miss Rebecca. You need not apologize.
Not for that. Not for any of it," I called to her. She paused her
exit and stared at me for the briefest of seconds before she put
her crimson cloak over her head, took the lantern, and headed off
into the darkness.

When she had gotten a good distance away,
Anthony closed the distance between us and pushed me back. I
stumbled and had to catch the railing to keep from falling. "What
the devil?"

"What did you do to her?" He stalked toward
me. The light flickering in his eyes caused him to resemble the
devil.

"I didn't do anything to her!" I tried to
gain my balance and the scoundrel pushed me down again.

"Do not lie to me, Frederick. I saw you. I
saw it with my own eyes. You held her hands so she couldn't defend
herself, and you attacked her."

"I kissed her." I said almost jovially. Here
I thought Anthony of all people would know that. "There was no
attacking."

"I saw you."

"You saw wrong." I stood and looked down on
him. Anthony was a tall man, I'll give him that, but he wasn't as
tall as me. "I didn't hurt her. I wouldn't do that."

He sneered. "Because you love her so
much."