For Your Sake (31 page)

              “Why did you?”

              “Like I said, you’re not stupid.  Plus with this family having a member working across the way in Ticker, I want you to be aware of your surroundings.  Keep eyes and ears open.  The mill got us to do the event prep in the plaza so we’ll be there pretty much every day for a couple of weeks.  I doubt they’d try anything in public – this family don’t work that way.  But our presence will be a benefit.”

              Eva digested every single word.  She thought knowing more would help her understand Ben’s life.  And it did, which was a grave opposite from hers.  But he wouldn’t do this if he didn’t trust her and for that she felt the connection between them close even further.  “I understand, Ben.”

              “Hope so, darlin’.”  He went back over to her, stood her up and tilted her face back.  “That……leak was discovered and dealt with.  I meant what I said, Eva - I draw the line at betrayal.  What’s said here stays here.  Don’t make me regret it.”

              Even those sensual amber eyes of his couldn’t warm the chill which ran up her spine.  Now wasn’t the time to ask how snitches were dealt with.  She didn’t have to.  This man who showed vulnerability and gentleness also carried a gun.  They all did.  Even the prospects.  Her safe world just collided with one she was sucked into almost a month ago on a dark, twisting mountainside road.  The conditions under which they met were somehow a prelude of what was to come.  Along the way, she earned precious trust she would not squander.  “You have my word.”

              His mouth captured hers and she thought the skin would melt off her bones.  It wasn’t a kiss, but a sealing of an unspoken deal between them.  Telling her all this just elevated her to a different level in his life. 

              “I want more than that from you, Eva.” He hotly breathed those words into her mouth.  “This changes the playing field.  It ain’t casual anymore between you and me.  You thinking of pushing me away after what I just shared with you, you better think again, darlin’.”

              He didn’t give her time to respond, instead kissed her again as if everything depended on her.  For years she controlled her own life, made her own choices.  Now the most important one was being made by a man who was stealing the very breath from her. 

              And she was letting him.  Because he trusted her.  Because of that night which entwined their lives.  Because they were in deep.

              Because she was falling in love with him.

Chapter Eighteen

              Two weeks passed and so did the month of October.  The evening temperatures began to dip making that pile of wood Ben chopped a God-send.  On the last day of the month Eva had huddled herself under a crocheted blanket on the couch with a blazing fire and some mindless reality show while he manned the door, passing out candy to the neighborhood hooligans. 

The day before the club had done their annual Halloween ride for all of Hancock County – dressing up and riding to local hospitals and low-income neighborhoods passing out candy, pumpkins, toys and unisex costumes to sick and poor children.  Doug had his standard clown costume, which made him look like a creepy pedophile; Tanner was Batman; Aero donned his air force uniform; Taz dressed in black, carried a plastic pitchfork and not needing much else and Wes was  a Jedi complete with a light sabre.  Ben went for the lumberjack/scarecrow look.  Vic was the only stick in the mud – too curmudgeonly to play along.

  Things were progressing between he and Eva, yet Ben still felt a bit of resistance on her part.  He chalked it up to her being a little freaked over what happened.  The phone call the club placed to Emilio two Saturdays ago went well – a little too well for their liking.  Silence wasn’t always golden and the club took Emilio’s agreeability to postpone attempting another transport with a grain of salt.  Of course when Emilio pressed for the whereabouts of the narcotics, the club was vague in stating they were ‘safe and secure’.  Still, this was a quarter million in black market ‘scripts Emilio was out of pocket until they got on the street.  And the club was holding them hostage.  Two weeks of quiet didn’t mean the Santagios were sitting back waiting.

              They were no doubt planning.

              Now with entry into November and Thanksgiving three weeks away, the push to get Tippitt-Over-Two Plaza ready for the
Shop Small, Save Big
event was underway.  Club members, as well as some of Owens’ employees, worked from nine until the sun and temperature went down building signage, platforms, displays and a tented pavillion for shoppers to have shielded respite while enjoying lunch during the still-mild days.

              Merrill had a coffee table set up on the sidewalk in front of Tippitt ‘N Sip It and Janice Morrell supplied hard rolls with butter, pastries and donuts from the bakery for the hard working men.  It was almost noon on a Friday and Ben still needed to get to the mill to get a late afternoon shift in.  With so much labor being expended for this event, he and Tanner were pulling double shifts at the mill to stay on track.  He and Eva’s days consisted of her up and out before he woke and him falling into an exhausted heap beside her around eleven at night.  But the plaza construction gave them time to see each other during the day. 

              He just finished hammering together the base for a platform with Taz when he checked the time.  “Gotta head inside and wash up then get to the mill.”

              Taz looked towards the card shop where Cyndi was peering out the window.  “Tell that sweet young thing I said hi.”

              Ben smacked him in the arm.  “Young is right.  Didn’t you frighten enough children on Halloween?”

              “Ouch.”  Taz feigned offense, putting a hand on his chest.  “That hurt, bro.”

              Ben went around the back of Eva’s section and knocked on the double doors.  She let him in, looking exhausted and frazzled.  “You okay, darlin’?”

              “Fine, just…….frazzled.  I’m hiding back here because of all the commotion outside. Got a splitting headache.”

Her desk was a mess – orders, planning, samples. She had finally put away the stuff stacked at home on her kitchen floor as well as unpacking the rest of the boxes, knowing how much the mess made him itch, but it seemed to spill over here.  She took on the task of being the point person for her section and Ben wondered if she was juggling too much.  He washed up in the stores bathroom, then came back out to kiss her.  “Heading to the mill.  Not sure when I’ll be done.”

“Okay.”

She didn’t ask too many questions and wasn’t sure if she was being compliant or pulling herself into a shell.  He suddenly second-guessed himself about telling her what little he could. “Eva?”  His fingers massaged the back of her head while his thumb massaged her cheek.

“Yeah?”

What?  What was he going to say? 
I love you?
  It was on the tip of his tongue, but her mental distance held him back.  Again, he just chalked it up to her being over-stressed.  “Relax.”  It was the safest thing he could say right now before he kissed her forehead and left.

~~~***~~~

              “Eva.  Someone’s out here looking for you.  Some guy.”

              With everything going out front, she had no idea who it could be and was too stressed to deal with anything but what was in front of her.  Getting up from her desk, she walked out to the interior of the store and halted by sympathy card section.  There was some strange irony to that.  “William.”

              He hadn’t changed one bit.  Stylish haircut, expensive suit, designer watch and the faintest hint of Calvin Klein cologne.  “Hi, Eva.  I was in the area and saw all the commotion outside then remembered this is where you moved the store.  Hope it’s okay, popping in like this.”

              What was she going to say?  It was a public establishment.  “It’s fine.  How are you?”

              He nodded.  “Good.  Real good.”  Eva could tell it wasn’t a polite reply.  He actually did look good.  Content, was more like it.  “You look great.  You always did.”  He motioned up and down.  “I remember that dress.”

              Again, with the irony.  It was the same black and white print dress she was had on the night she almost slammed into Ben.  “You said you were in the area?” 

              “Heading back up from Ruby Memorial.  My dad had a mild heart attack.”

              Her stomach clenched, bringing back that all-too familiar memory.  “William, I’m sorry.  Is he…..?

              “He’s fine.  Like I said, it was mild.  Had a de-fib put in and has to watch his stress levels.  Been having palpatations since March, but being the stubborn bastard he is, ignored them.  He should be home end of week.  So….what’s going on here?”

              “Commerce push the town’s sponsoring.  To help small businesses……”

              “I’m getting married.”

              Just like that, he blurted it out.  “Uh……oh.”  She was caught off guard, not sure what to say.  In that pause she realized that was the real reason he came by. Maybe it was his way of letting her know he
was
okay.  Or, maybe he wanted to see the look on her face when he told her.  “William, that’s……great news.  Congratulations.”  She meant it.  She really did.  So why did she suddenly feel empty?

              “Thanks.  My dad’s cardiologist – it’s his daughter.  She runs his office.  Had to bring him to his first appointment because he was having some pains and didn’t want him to drive.  That’s how we met.  We’re getting married New Year’s Eve at her parent’s club.”

              Eva was really happy for him, not feeling an ounce of regret or jealousy, but an unexplainable sadness pierced her inside.  “That sounds wonderful, William.  You look……in love.”

              “I am.”  He cast his eyes down then slowly looked back up at her. “And she loves me.”

              There it was.  That hurt for which she was the culprit.  But she wasn’t going to grovel or beg him to forgive her for doing what she felt was right for herself at the time.  “You deserve someone who loves you.  I mean that.”

              He looked around uncomfortably.  There were people in the store and Cyndi was posted at the register, watching the two of them closely.  “Hope you’re able to do the same someday, Eva.  That whatever it is you gave up letting someone in for was worth it.”

              There was the reason for that pang she was feeling.  She thought it was easier to not get close, to distance herself from the possibility of it, rather than hurting someone’s feelings just like she did William or get hurt herself by having yet another person she cared about leave her.  It was the easy way out.  The coward’s way out.  William meeting someone so soon, falling in love and getting married wasn’t about getting over her quickly, but that he was willing to take a chance at finding love rather than curling into a fetal position whimpering ‘why me?’.

All this time Eva thought she was being strong, going it alone with a house and a business. She blamed her mother for walking out, her father for dying, her friend for moving away – using them as weak excuses not to get close.  It made her wonder what she expected from this next step with Ben.  She was falling for him, but that internal wall hadn’t fully fallen yet.  He made it clear not to push him away, but that didn’t mean he still couldn’t call it quits.

“I’m content, William.  And I wish you and your fiancé the best.”

He seemed satisfied by her answer as he went for the door.  “Well, I better get going.  You’re busy here.”

“I’ll see you out.”

Once outside on the plaza sidewalk, she stood on the curb as he stepped off it, the sound of construction and rush of people about the lot buzzing in front of him.  He stepped forward, held her arm then placed a kiss on her cheek.  “Goodbye, Eva.”

It was innocent, non-threatening and, to William, a way of closing his door on the situation.  “Goodbye William.  Good luck.”

She stood there until he got into his silver Infiniti and pulled out, giving one last wave.

“My mom’s bringin’ over sandwiches for lunch.  Want one, Eva?”

Taz had come up behind her, pulling his work gloves off.  He was looking in the direction of William’s departing car.   Figures the nosiest body of the club saw that unfold.  “No thanks.  Cyndi’s heading over to Clarks in a bit.”

His black eyes twinkled, the piercings in both brows moving up and down as he wiggled them.  “She’s cute.”

“She’s twenty two.”

“Ain’t that legal?”

“And still a bit immature,” Eva sternly added.

“You okay?”  He wasn’t joking anymore, those eyes of his still in the direction where William’s Infiniti pulled out. 

“I’m fine.”  She wasn’t going to tell him anything he could blab.  Not only did nothing dramatic happened, it wasn’t his business anyway.  “Just an old friend sharing some good news.”

~~~***~~~

The pounding in her head from too much noise and coffee made finally getting home a joy.  Sliding her key into the front door, Eva felt instant comfort from the lingering scent of finished floors and paint.  It was so quiet she barely heard another set of jingling keys.