For Our Son: A BWWM Parenting Romance For Adults (8 page)

As she walked, Grace looked upon the homes that she’d often visited as a
child. Games of hide and seek, freeze tag and Red Rover had been played in just
about ever yard on the block. Grace turned the corner. Before her was the path
she took to junior high and high school. It was also the path she’d taken for
rendezvous with her high school sweetheart. At the thought of those memories, Grace
felt her cheeks tingle. She pretended it was the heat.

Grace felt herself being drawn down the street of Ryan’s mother’s home.
For old time’s sake she walked and watched and took in all the scenery that she
knew so well. When she got within a few yards of Ms. Stewart’s front door, the
older woman came outside. She recognized Grace immediately and waves. Grace waved
a brief hello, but Ms. Stewart started walking in Grace’s direction. As soon as
her arms could reach she embraced Grace in a hug.

"How’ve you been, dear?" she asked.

"Great. How about you?" Grace asked in return.

Ms. Stewart went on to answer Grace’s question. It took about five
minutes for her to tell Grace all that was going on in her life. Surprisingly,
it was a lot.

"Are you living back in town now?" Ms. Stewart asked when
she’d finished her lamentation.

"I’m just here until the school term starts back up. I had to move
out of my apartment for the summer so I’m staying with my parents,” Grace
answered. She looked down at the dog who was now turning circles on the lawn.
Uh-oh. "I’d better get him going. I don’t want to leave any doggy treats
on your lawn."

"Oh don’t worry about it. It’s just fertilizer." Ms. Stewart
laughed. "So…have you seen Ryan since you’ve been back?"

"I actually just got back today, so I haven’t seen him yet. I don’t
know if I’ll be seeing him though. I’m going out of town in a few days."

"Oh really? Where are you going?"

Grace wondered if Ryan had even told his mother about the surgery. Did
she know her grandson was in such a risky situation?

"I’m going to California,” Grace answered.

"California? That’s wonderful! I’ve always wanted to go there…but I
never got around to it. It’s so nice that young people travel so much these
days. I wish I’d done more. Well you have a great time."

Grace nodded. "It’s not really a pleasure trip." Grace could
have kicked herself for adding that last statement. Why didn’t she just leave
it alone?

"Oh? Is something wrong?" Ms. Stewart picked up on the lack of
enthusiasm in Grace’s voice.

"Didn’t Ryan tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"About Matthew? How sick he is? And his surgery?"

"He told me that Matthew needed a bone marrow donor and you and Ryan
weren’t matches."

"Yeah, well they’ve got a donor now. Matthew’s parents wanted us to
be there for the surgery…I’m going. They haven’t heard from Ryan."

Ms. Stewart looked completely mystified by this. "He didn’t say a
word about it..."

"Well the agency told me they left several messages for him and
sent him letters but he hasn’t responded. I think Matthew’s parents even tried
to contact him."

Ms. Stewart stared at Grace in quiet amazement. "That doesn’t sound
like Ryan,” she finally said softly.

Grace knew Ms. Stewart wanted to see her son in the best light, but the
truth was, that sounded
exactly
like Ryan. He had wanted nothing to do
with the baby from the very beginning. Within minutes of finding out Grace was
pregnant he had inquired about an abortion.

Grace contemplated telling Ryan’s mother how truly disinterested Ryan
was. She didn’t have to say a word though. All that she was thinking was
conveyed on her face and Ms. Stewart read it clearly.

"He’s still having a hard time with the decision you guys
made." She nodded.

"It didn’t seem that way to me,” Grace disagreed.

"Yes, well, things aren’t always how they seem." Ms. Stewart
smiled even though there was an edge to her voice. She understood Grace’s
cynicism, but she also knew her son.

Grace shrugged and smiled. It wasn’t her objective to have Ryan’s own mother
view him in a negative light. But still, she was certain of Ryan’s feelings
about Matthew.

"I’d better get him home," Grace pointed to Hercules.
"It’s getting hot out here and he’s going to need some water." Grace
offered Ms. Stewart a quick hug and started back towards home.

"Grace?" Ms. Stewart called after her.

Grace turned back.

"I have something for you. Can you wait here for a moment?"

Grace nodded, expecting to be given muffins or even a bottle of cold
water for her walk home. She was a little surprised to see Ms. Stewart return
with a DVD.

"I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Ryan I gave this to you. I
don’t think he even knows I have it,” Ms. Stewart said.

"What is it?" Grace asked.

"Just watch it and give it back to me. I think you’ll be surprised
at what you see."

That got Grace apprehensive, but her curiosity was peaked.

Grace wasted no time in watching the DVD. She went into her parents’ living
room and slid it inside the player sitting atop the television set. The amateur
documentary filled the screen.

With all of her soul,  Grace felt the emotion Ryan displayed when
he spoke of changing his mind about the decision they’d made.

"Why didn’t he ever tell me?" she asked the empty room. She
looked up as if she half expected an answer, but there was no one there.

Grace felt numb as she walked into her bedroom with the DVD  in
hand. She struggled to see everything that had happened in the past with new
eyes. With Ryan’s eyes.

Grace didn’t stay and talk with Ms. Stewart when she dropped off the DVD.
She still wasn’t quite sure that was really Ryan on that recording, or if he
was simply speaking for the benefit of his mother.

Mr. Thompson was in the kitchen cooking when Grace returned. Her father
had recently gotten into the hobby of cooking and a new Trinidad cookbook had
him trying his hand at a new dish almost every day.

"Smells good," Grace lied, but she wanted to encourage her
dad.

"I’m glad you think so. It’s what’s for dinner." He smiled.

"What is it?"

"Pickled lizard."

"Are you kidding?" Grace looked horrified as she attempted to
peek into the pot.

"Yes, I am."

Grace and her father shared a laugh. It felt good. As she watched him
happily working away, she wondered if she had the courage to ask him the questions
Ryan had asked his mother. Did she want to know what he really thought?

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

Grace was afraid once she received his full attention.
"Nothing," she changed her mind.

"You sure? What’s going on?" He put his spoon down and covered
the pot he had been stirring.

"Do you think the transplant is going to be successful?" she
asked.

"Grace, you’ve got to stop worrying. Matthew is going to have the
best doctors watching over him. It’s going to be fine,” her father assured her.

Grace nodded. She knew that was what he was going to say. After all, her
mother had been saying the very same thing all day long and they were often in
agreement on most things.

As Grace was exiting the kitchen, she finally worked up the courage to
ask her father if, after all this time, he was still disappointed with her.

"Dad…"

She didn’t get a chance to finish asking her question before the
telephone rang. Her father wiped his hands on the towel he had tucked in his
waistband before picking it up.

"Hello?….Yes, may I ask who’s calling?…Okay, one moment.” Mr. Thompson
covered the mouthpiece of the phone with one hand. "Grace, it’s Ryan. He
said something about flight information. Do you want to take it?"

"Of course. I’ll take it in the den,” Grace said. She heard her
father tell Ryan that she’d be a moment.

When Grace heard her father hang up she bypassed the normal greeting.
"Flight information?" she asked instead.

"To California. You’re going, right?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, but I thought you weren’t going."

"My mom just told me about it. I moved so there’s been kind of a
problem getting information.  “Ryan glazed over that last bit. "What
flight are you taking?"

Despite the awkward ending to their last encounter, Grace and Ryan spoke
benevolently. Grace filled Ryan in on her flight information and her hotel
accommodations. They agreed to share a rental car and a ride to the airport.

Grace considered
asking Ryan about the recording she’d seen, but then she remembered she’d
promised his mother that she wouldn’t mention it. As she hung up the phone she
hoped that the coming trip was an opportunity to gain insight into how Ryan
really felt after all these years.

Chapter thirteen

Ryan sat in the driveway of the Thompson home waiting for Grace to
appear with her luggage. When he’d pulled up she’d waved to him from the front
window to let him know that she had seen him. He was grateful that he didn’t
have to go up to the front door. He had never liked going to Grace’s parent’s
house.

When Grace did emerge with her baggage, Ryan got out of the car to help
her load it into the trunk. She had three bags to his one.

"It is just three days, isn’t it?" Ryan double-checked.

"Yes, but I just like to have extra. In case something happens,” Grace
stated.

Ryan nodded. With Grace, some things never changed. Being over-prepared
was one of those things.

The ride to the airport was silent. Grace wanted to ask Ryan about his
sudden interest in things with Matthew, but she knew that would most likely
start and argument and if she had to spend the next three days with him, she
didn’t want to argue with him.

"The hotel rooms were expensive." Ryan made small talk.

"Everything is expensive in California,” Grace agreed. "Thank
goodness for those online discount brokers."

"You went through the ‘net?"

"You didn’t?"

There was another dead silence as each one of them tried to think of
something neutral to talk about.

"How’s the documentary going?" Grace asked.

"I’m not doing it." Ryan looked in his side mirrors as he
changed traffic lanes.

"Oh. What changed your mind?"

"It just got to be…well, I don’t think I’d ever watch it and it got
to the point that I had heard everything I needed to hear after one
interview."

"Who’s interview was that?"

"My mom’s."

"Oh." Grace reacted as if she didn’t already know. She
nervously fidgeted with her fingers as she watched the scenery pass by the
window. "Were you ever planning on interviewing me?"

Ryan shrugged as if he hadn’t given it much thought even though he had.
"I probably would have if I’d stuck with the project."