For Our Son: A BWWM Parenting Romance For Adults (21 page)

"Griffin, what’s done is done, okay?"

Looking down at their joined hands, Griffin turned his palm into hers and
slightly squeezed back. "Okay, water under the bridge," he replied.

Pulling her hand from under his, Erica went on. She needed the separation
as her hand felt comfortable and too familiar while resting in Griffin’s.
"Where was I? Right, I did eventually meet someone my first year of grad
school though. His name was Robert and he was wonderful."

With a faraway look in her eyes, Erica told Griffin about her courtship
and brief marriage to Robert.

Wow, this guy sounds like prince charming himself,
Griffin thought. For some strange, reason he felt a sudden burst of
resentment toward this man he’d never even met.

When Erica stated that she and Robert had gotten divorced very shortly
after getting married, Griffin felt secretly victorious. Still, he knew it was
wrong of him to relish in something Erica was obviously still somewhat wounded
by. "What happened?” he asked with genuine interest. “I mean…why the
divorce?"

As if emerging from a trance, Erica shook her head and looked at Griffin.
Sighing sadly, she decided to tell him the truth. "You know, I really
loved him. He was intelligent, funny, wise, ambitious…all the qualities I’d
usually look for in a man, in anyone actually, but I don’t know. I wasn’t
in
love him. I respected, liked, and admired him, but...that was it. There was no
love on my part."

After taking another sip of her latte, Erica continued, “It’s weird. I
knew in my heart when he proposed that I should have said no. Everything in me
said to refuse him, but…I did the exact opposite. The thing I regret most,
though, was hurting him. He tried so hard to make things work, and I just…I
couldn’t do it."

Sitting back in his chair, Griffin expelled a heavy breath he hadn’t
realized he was holding in. He had no words.

Wanting to steer the conversation away from herself, Erica asked Griffin
about Avery’s mother. Focusing his gaze on hers, Griffin told her about his
short relationship with Toni and the sequence of events that led up to Avery’s
birth.

"So the relationship was purely physical?" Erica asked. She
felt her cheeks warm slightly. "How can that be? I mean, sex without love
is just…empty, isn’t it?"

Chuckling softly, Griffin stared at her. "She was hot, okay?
Besides, I stopped ‘making love’ after you and I broke up."

Only after the words left his mouth did Griffin realize what he’d said.
He knew it was pointless to try backtracking. Instead he apologized.

Smirking, Erica tried her best to make light of the situation. "It’s
fine," she assured him. “I say stuff without thinking all the time.”

Allowing himself to relax again, Griffin distracted himself by pouring
another packet of artificial sweetener inside his tea. The air, however, was
thick with tension as neither he nor Erica seemed to know what to say to fill
the silence.

Needing to escape for a few minutes, Erica excused herself and walked
back to the ladies’ room. Once inside, she stared at her reflection in the
mirror and frowned.
Griffin considered what we did making love?
she
wondered,
what does that mean?

Meanwhile, back out at the table, Griffin was silently berating himself.
You
idiot,
he scolded,
why did have to admit that? Why? You ruined
everything.

Looking into his empty cup, Griffin decided to end the evening before
something disastrous happened. When Erica returned to the table, he made an
excuse about needing to get home and she readily agreed. Little did he know,
she was just as desperate as he was to put some distance between them.

"Say hi to Avery for me," Erica said once she and Griffin
reached their cars.

"Will do," Griffin replied.

Turning around, Erica unlocked her car door and was preparing to get in
when Griffin halted her progress by touching her lightly on the shoulder. Would
you maybe want to get together sometime next week?" he asked with caution.
"Maybe we could catch another movie, or..."

"I’d love to, but…how about we do something with Avery
instead?" Erica interrupted. There was no way she could handle being alone
with him again so soon. "There’s a new Looney Tunes movie coming out next
week, and…" Looking around and moving in closer to Griffin, Erica whispered,
"I really want to see it."

Griffin laughed. This was a secret side to Erica. She loved kid movies,
but she went to great lengths to make sure no one ever found out about it.
Griffin was among a select few who knew about her little obsession.

"What? I love cartoon movies, you know that. Do you think Avery
would want to see it?" Erica asked.

"Yeah, she loves Bugs Bunny, so yeah – we’ll all go."

"Perfect.”

Taking a risk, Erica gave Griffin an innocent hug. He was momentarily
taken aback by it, but he returned the affectionate gesture all the same.

Feeling a strange pull toward his lips, Erica broke the embrace and took
at step back before she did anything she’d later regret. "I’ll call you
next week and we can arrange something, okay?"

"Sure, sounds good,” Griffin said with a cordial nod. “Talk with you
then."

Erica climbed inside her car then and made the short drive to her
townhouse. Her heart was beating very quickly and she felt dizzy.
What’s
going on here?
she wondered.
It’s only Griffin.
Forcibly pushing him
out of her head, she stepped down on the gas and concentrated on getting home.

Griffin was also having a hard time keeping his thoughts in the present
as he drove home that night. Remembering the subtle scent of Erica’s perfume
brought back memories he’d long since buried. In vivid detail, he allowed
himself to remember all the good times they’d shared before the darkness set
in.

Frowning, Griffin caught himself. He’d vowed to keep their relationship
purely platonic, and yet, here he was thinking about their past. He didn’t want
to go there again. Erica was special to him. She was the mother of his first
child, and for that, he’d always hold her in high regard. Now that they were on
speaking terms again he wasn’t going to do anything to destroy this new
beginning.

All Griffin’s resolve promptly went out the window, however, when he
spotted Erica waiting for him and Avery outside the Castro movie theatre the
following Friday. When she observed them approaching, she stood up from the
bench she was sitting on and smiled as she approached them.

Wow,
was all Griffin could think. Erica looked stunning
in a form fitting silk blouse, delicate pink earrings, and tight jeans that
made her long legs look impossibly longer. Gulping, he tore his gaze from her
curvaceous frame and led Avery over to her.

Squealing in delight, Avery squirmed until her father let go of her hand
so that she could run up to Erica. Taken by surprise, Erica watched the little
girl bolt toward her and laughed.

"Hi!” Avery chimed. "Daddy says we’re gonna see Bugs Bunny! I
can’t wait!" Avery was jumping up and down in front of Erica as she spoke.

"Well..." was all Erica managed as Avery continued.

"And he said I could get popcorn because I was good all day. Right
daddy?" Avery looked over her shoulder to where Griffin was lingering
behind her.

Smiling, he answered, "Yep. You earned it.”

Avery started to spin around in circles at the novelty of having a treat
before continuing to talk Erica’s ear off. She rambled on and on about all her
new school, her new babysitter, and just about everything else of slight
relevance while the trio were waiting in line to purchase their movie tickets
and popcorn. It wasn’t until they walked into the darkened theatre and took
their seats that she finally piped down.

After the movie, Griffin told Erica that he was taking Avery to Golden
Gate Park for the afternoon and asked if she’d like to tagalong. Thrilled to be
asked, she readily accepted the invitation and ended up spending the remainder
of the day with them.

Avery had so much pent up energy from sitting inside the theater for two
hours that Erica was left exhausted by the time night fell. She wasn’t the only
one though. As soon as the trio made it back to Griffin’s place, Avery had a
crash so intense she was practically begging Erica to tuck her into bed.

Sensing that a full blown meltdown would follow if she didn't, Erica
agreed and waited until the child fell asleep before venturing back downstairs
in search of Griffin. Eventually she found him on the couch in the living room,
half-consciously flipping through different television channels. Looking up, he
grinned at her. "You look tired,” he observed.

"Ha, like you're one to talk,” Erica teased as she plopped down
beside him. “I am though. Honestly, I have no idea how you manage to keep up
with Avery. It's like she runs on rocket fuel or something.”

That got Griffin laughing. "I’ll admit – when Avery was first born,
I was totally outside of my element. I had no idea how people managed a job
and
a kid, but…I did it. I guess it’s just something you get used to. Now I can’t
imagine my life without her."

Erica looked at Griffin in awe. "Griffin, I hope you don't mind me
saying this, but…you’re so much different now. In a good way. I mean, when I
left for school you were still this man-child – no offense – but now…I don't
know. I’m impressed. Avery’s really lucky to have you as a father."

Pleased by the compliment, Griffin smiled. For some reason it was a
relief that Erica saw him as a competent father.

Switching gears, Erica asked Griffin about the current state of his love
life. "Are you seeing anyone these days?”

Even though her question was intended to be a lighthearted one, Erica
felt a stab of pain in the pit of her stomach all the same. For some bizarre
reason, picturing Griffin with someone else was still every bit as
gut-wrenching for her as it’d been in high school.

Unaware of Erica’s inner turmoil, Griffin shook his head and sank deeper
into the couch. "Nah. I’ve been really busy with work this past year, and
Avery requires a lot of attention, so…no." Passing a hand through his
hair, he continued, "I’m fine with it though.”

Griffin was clearly exhausted, as his eyelids were drooping heavily as he
stared rather blankly at the television. It was almost as if he was fighting to
stay awake. Taking the hint, Erica straightened her back against the couch and
prepared leave.

"Well, I’d better head home. You look pretty tired."

At this, Griffin’s head spun around quickly. With a frown marring his
brow, he looked at Erica and said, "I’m not tired, I’m just…relaxed.
Please, if you don’t mind…stay. I’m really enjoying your company. Besides, you
haven’t told me much about what you’ve been up to all these years."

That was all Erica needed to hear. Since she didn’t
really
want to
leave and Griffin was encouraging her to stay, she once again leaned back
against the couch. "Well what do you want to know?" she asked him.

Griffin shrugged. "Tell me about your job. What is it that you do
again?"

Relaxation renewed, Erica and Griffin spoke about their respective
careers, what they did in their spare time, and how their family members were.
They were so immersed in conversation that, hours later, neither one of them
were aware of who drifted to sleep first…

Chapter seven

The following morning, Griffin awoke to sunlight streaming through his
front blinds and rushed to shield his face from it. Groaning, he started to
stretch but froze when he felt a warm body pressed again his. Realizing that it
was Erica, he smiled to himself. Her head had somehow ended up on his chest.