For One Night Only (21 page)
Angie wasn’t buying it apparently—jumping from the bed to storm into the bathroom and slam the door. Her reaction seemed a little extreme considering he’d only known her a couple of hours, but what the hell did he know about women and the way their minds worked?
Deciding that it was probably best if he left, Ruben donned his clothing quickly and slipped out of the room.
The night air felt good on his skin, cleansing somehow. He decided to walk, determined to clear his head and shake off the effects of the booze. Staggering a few blocks, he realized he didn’t have the first clue where he was.
How insane it all was
. Sex with a total stranger hadn’t helped. He’d been stupid to think it would. Now, he just felt sleazy and pathetic, unable even to perform in bed without thinking of Beth.
But she didn’t want him anymore…nobody wanted
him.
Shit, even Angie probably hated him and he couldn’t blame her.
He flipped open his phone, dialing Byron. The call was answered almost instantly by the ear piercing, frantic voice of his manager. ‘Where the hell are you?’
‘Lost,’ Ruben giggled, sinking onto the kerb.
* * * *
The Fan couldn’t breathe…couldn’t think. Ruben had called her Beth. He didn’t remember her nor did he want her. He wanted Beth. It wasn’t fair. She’d waited so long, hoped so much, and it wasn’t supposed to be like this.
When she’d seem him walk out of his hotel alone a few hours earlier, with no security in tow, Angie had been sure this was the opportunity she’d been waiting for. Unable to think of a way to ditch the ever-present Martha, she’d had to let her tag along—all the while racking her brains for a way to get rid of her.
The job had been done for her when they had tried to follow Ruben into the exclusive nightclub on Sunset. The doorman had put up a hand, stopping them when they tried to enter. Pointing at Martha, he had simply shaken his head, but told Angie she could go in.
She hadn’t hesitated for even a second—skipping through the door without a backward glance at Martha.
Fuck her,
she’d thought. The sad old woman should be at home with her husband anyway. This time out, they weren’t even sharing a hotel room.
How fucking perfect was that?
Things couldn’t have gone any better. They were the way she had always known they would be when the time was right.
Angie hadn’t approached him straight away. Forcing herself to wait a reasonable amount of time before trying to engage him had been hard, terrified as she was that he would hook up with someone else before she got her chance. She’d figured out pretty quickly that he wasn’t looking for company as he sat alone in a corner hunched over a succession of beers that he downed almost as soon as they arrived.
She had known the moment was right to make her move when he’d finally loosened up enough to sit back in his seat, focusing on the women dancing a few feet away. Throwing the last of the vodka she’d been nursing down her throat, she had taken a deep breath and gone to get him.
She finally had her longed for moment with him only to find out he didn’t have a clue who she was and that he was still in love with someone else. So in love, in fact, that he could barely perform in bed. The sudden urge to cry hit her without warning, and she bundled a towel against her face to muffle the sobs—afraid he would hear them through the bathroom door.
The tears stopped abruptly when it dawned on Angie that she was wasting the only chance she had to make him love her.
Okay, so he’d been thinking about
Fixing her hair after splashing some cold water on her face, she quickly reapplied her make-up. Having nothing to wear as she had run naked from the bed, she wrapped a towel around her—only to throw it off brazenly before opening the door.
Plastering what she hoped would be a dazzling smile on her face, she strode out into the room. It took a moment for her to see through the semi-darkness that the bed was empty. She wanted to scream, slapping a hand over her mouth to suppress the sound just in case he was out on the balcony. Finding the glass doors still locked, she knew he wasn’t there, but looked anyway, unwilling to accept that he had gone. Running naked out into the corridor to look for him, she checked in both directions before retreating back into her room slowly on increasingly shaky legs.
Angie sank to the floor in the middle of the room, feeling physically sick. Curling over to rest her head on her knees, she fought for control over the rage and pain building in her gut. Rocking back and forth, she tried to suppress the scream she could feel rising in her throat. Stuffing a fist into her mouth, she bit down hard, tasting her own blood as she lost the battle to muffle the noise emanating from her.
She surged to her feet, screaming in absolute mental anguish as she began to pace the room. He was gone, and she didn’t know what to do. Her dream had been handed to her after years of wanting and waiting just to be so cruelly torn away.
Angie’s vision began to cloud as a lack of oxygen made her light headed. Her longed for second chance with him was already over
. How could that be? What had she done wrong? Nothing…she’d done nothing.
She couldn’t fight an invisible foe. He was in love with someone else and nothing she could do would change that. Even when he’d been fucking her, he’d been thinking of someone else.
But he wasn’t with
Angie couldn’t reject the thought invading her mind. It was her he didn’t want or love. Twice now, he had taken her body and thrown her away afterwards without a thought or care. She couldn’t blame him—Ruben was only a man after all. She simply wasn’t worthy of his love. He didn’t even want her sexually. It had taken forever to get him hard enough to screw her and the only reason he had managed to come at all was because he had been thinking of
Her pacing stopped as she caught her own reflection in the mirror and she wanted to laugh at the pathetic whore she saw looking back at her.
Why had she ever believed she could be happy or that Ruben would want her?
‘Look at you…why would anybody want you?’ she screamed. ‘Stupid bitch…even your own mother hated you…and the only person who has ever loved you is gone…Daddy’s gone,’ she said to the face she could barely stomach to look at in the glass.
Lurching forward suddenly, she smashed her face into the mirror with a scream, breaking it. Dazed for a moment by the intense pain, she fell to her knees to vomit violently. Raising her head as the sound of shouting and loud knocking reached her ears through her own screams, she didn’t understand why she couldn’t see. Wiping at the warm stickiness covering her eyelids, she stared down at her hands in shock, realizing it was blood.
Glass lay all around, glinting brightly, taunting her. A large shard caught her eye, and she picked it up, looking at it curiously before dragging the sharp edge across first one wrist, then the other.
The persistent knocking at the door became increasingly muffled. A feeling of calm wrapped itself around her, the realization that a lifetime of loneliness and constant rejection would soon be over, bringing her peace. Lying down, she curled up, as if to sleep, relaxing into the heaviness invading her limbs and her brain.
A familiar smell caught her nostrils, and she sniffed her hands, inhaling the scent of his body where she had touched him. He had been the first man she had ever wanted or given herself to. Angie thought it seemed right somehow that he would also be her last.
Chapter 19
felt as if she was in the Twilight Zone. It was the only explanation for the surreal turn her life had taken. In just the last week, she had resigned from a job she adored and re-started her old one, after walking away from the love of her life without telling him she was carrying his child—a child that he didn’t want.
Now Simon was standing in the center of her office, smiling at her like they were old friends.
‘Hi,
‘Simon…what are you doing here?’ She gathered her wits about her, reaching out to shake his hand, guessing that’s what you did with someone you knew well, but didn’t like anymore. ‘I was sorry to hear about your mother,’ she said, remembering suddenly.
‘Thank you. It was a tough time for all of us.’
He ignored her hand, grasping her firmly by the shoulders to kiss her.
‘You look great. How have you been?’
‘Fine. Busy.’
What in hell did he want?
‘Working hard.’ She gestured around the office, hoping he would realize he was intruding.
He smiled smoothly. ‘Yes, I know you are busy. That’s why I took your last appointment of the day.’ He gestured over his shoulder toward the reception area. ‘I booked in last week.’
didn’t like the way things were going. It was so typical of him to try and control the outcome of a situation. It may have been a long time since she had seen him, but obviously some things had not changed. ‘Simon. I don’t have time for this. I am sorry to be so blunt, but what do you want? Are you ill?’
He shook his head. ‘I just want to talk
‘I can’t really believe we have anything to talk about after all this time.’ She tried to keep the hostility out of her voice. It would have been so easy, and unfair, to blame him for some of the problems between her and Ruben. He’d left her an emotional wreck, unable to see a good thing when she had it. Simon was the reason the behavior had started, but it was her fault it continued. She’d realized that too late.
He began to look uncharacteristically nervous. ‘I miss you, Bethany,’ he blurted.
She laughed. She couldn’t help it. ‘What?’
‘I guess I deserve that.’ She could see she’d pissed him off with her reaction, although he held his tongue.
‘Damn right you deserve it,’ she shouted. ‘Are you insane?’
‘If it’s insane to realize what I lost and want it back then, yes. Yes, I am.’ He gave her his best ‘sincere’ look—the one she used to fall for way back when.
‘And it took you almost three years to figure that out, huh?’ The look of surprise on his face was comical. It had been a long time since he’d had to deal with a
He began to lose his charm, his tone becoming cold. ‘When did you become so bitter?’
‘I’m not bitter, Simon. Just older and wiser.’ She stopped, unwilling to hurt him, however much he deserved it. ‘I just realize now we should never have been together.’ She began to gather her things, hoping to bring an end to the conversation. ‘Really, you did us both a favor.’
‘I’m older and wiser too. That’s how I know what a dreadful mistake I made.’ He grasped her hand, staring pleadingly into her eyes. ‘Can you forgive me?’
Untangling her fingers, she moved behind the desk, putting some space between them. ‘I forgave you a long time ago.’ Seeing him smile, her voice became serious. ‘But that doesn’t mean I would go back to what we had…not for one second.’
‘Hey, it wasn’t that bad.’
slammed down the book she had been holding. ‘Maybe not for you. For me, it was hell.’ The color drained from his face. ‘I gave up my whole life for you—’
Simon cut her off. ‘I didn’t ask you to.’
‘That’s right. You didn’t. But I gave you all I had. Too much in fact,’ she said, as much to herself as him. ‘And what thanks did I get? You treated me like shit for three years and then ran out on me.’
He at least had the good grace to blush. ‘Like I said, I was immature. But I am back now and I want to make it up to you.’ He took her silence as encouragement and plundered on. ‘There hasn’t been a single day since we parted that I didn’t miss and want you.’ He paused for dramatic effect. ‘I love you, Bethany.’
Ignoring his declaration, she thought back to the information Ruben had gathered on him. He’d been married and divorced since they split.