For Her (Broken Promises #2) (8 page)

The next day I wake up before the sun and immediately check my messages.  My conversation with Braydon last night was short since he had a gig to play, but he always makes sure to send me a goodnight text, even if it’s in the middle of the night when he knows I’m sleeping. Last night it was at three in the morning. Damn. I push back the feelings of worry that he was out with women until that early in the morning and set my phone aside instead of texting him back. He needs sleep, I need a shower to help wake myself up enough for this meeting today. Plus, I’d rather not be the needy friend texting back immediately.

The shower has been one of the more difficult things to get used to doing without my second leg. I can’t wear my prosthetic in here and it’s an older tub so getting in and over the edge requires me to sit and spin. It’s not graceful or sexy at all… hell I’m not certain I’m ever going to feel sexy again… but it works and I can do it all on my own.

By the time the sun comes up I’m ready for whatever this lawyer has to throw at me. Preparing myself for the worst news, I head to the kitchen and start making breakfast for my parents to busy my mind.

I just need today to not go terrible, then I’ll be able to start planning the rest of my life.

Braydon

Fuck

What the hell happened last night? My eyes feel like there’s been boulders sitting on them for days, I can’t exactly move without anything hurting.
My entire fucking body.
God damnit I haven’t partied that hard in a long fucking time… I’m getting way too old for this shit.

It takes me a minute to realize I’m actually back home in my bed.

It takes me only a few seconds longer to realize I’m not alone.

Fuck. Me.

“Get up,” Mumble to Trixie… the fucking bitch. It’s all coming back to me now. She got me plastered after the set last night. Jesus Christ I haven’t drank that much in ages. “Up, Trix, damn.” I nudge her and hear her grumble something so at least I know she’s alive.

Rolling out of bed, I make my way to the kitchen and start the coffee pot. There’s two dudes passed out on my couch and a random girl on the floor next to them. All three completely naked and freshly fucked apparently, according to the multiple condoms on the fucking floor next to them.

Holy shit what the hell happened last night?

I check my phone and see no new messages, but immediately go to messages sent. I’ve never been a drunken texter, but I’ve also never been obsessed with my phone as I am now that Al lives so far away. It’s my fucking lifeline and I hate it, but I miss the fuck out of her. I can’t help but obsess over what she’s doing at all hours of the day. And night. The fact that even blindly drunk last night I still texted her a very sober sounding good night text at three in the morning should show just how wrapped around her my mind is. I can’t get enough. The times a week that I’m able to make it out to see her are the best times of the week for me. It used to be the music and the shows that would get me through… now it’s Alexis. I didn’t realize how much I would miss her smile and laugh. How much the fruity smell she always has would be absent from my life. I didn’t really think it through, but now that it’s been months of not living close to her, I’m starting to see how much I need her. I’ve never been that guy, but lately I just want to beg and beg until she caves and moves in with me. It’s terrible to say that, because I know I shouldn’t feel this way about her. I know I shouldn’t feel like a lovesick schoolboy, but I do. What makes it worse is that it’s only been a few months since Lane’s death... just a few months and everything can change this drastically.

Apparently, though, my feelings for her didn’t stop me from getting some last night. Goddamnit. I know we’re not an item, but I feel like I betrayed her, it makes me want to puke.

“Hey,” Trixie mumbles as she goes for the mugs. She’s too goddamned comfortable here. And what the hell kind of name is Trixie, anyway? Who were her parents and how high were they when they decided ‘Oh, Trixie sounds like a nice proper name for my baby. There’s no possible way it will send her into a life of whoring around and drugs. No. Possible. Way. No, they had to be on some sort of drugs when they decided on that name. That, or Trixie is just her fake name and she has a real name like Stephanie or something chill.

Good lord I’m actually sitting here having an in-depth thought process about why her parents named her what they did! I shouldn’t be here!

What the hell am I doing with my life?

“Yea,” I grumble, grabbing my coffee and sitting at the stool next to the counter. “What the fuck happened last night?”

She laughs and sips at her coffee, eyeing me over her mug. The platinum blonde hair she usually wears straight as a needle is mussed at the top of her head, the only thing I can think of while I stare at her is the fact that Al looks ten… no… twenty times better than ‘Trixie’ does with her hair like this.

Jesus fuck I’m losing my damn mind.

“Uh… well…” She laughs and shakes her head at me. “Let’s see.” She sits on the counter, coffee cup in hand, and smiles sadly at me. “We had sex. I can’t say it was one of the best times I’ve ever had though… I’m uh… I’m not sure where your mind was.” She laughs again and I hear the three in the living room start to wake. “You, my dear, have went and fallen in love with the one person you shouldn’t have.”

“Shit.” The memories start coming back to me of last night. I remember picturing Al’s face. I remember me crying afterwards… crying! For fucks sake what the hell? I feel like I should apologize but I don’t… because I’m not sorry. She took advantage of me when I was drunk. I should be pissed, but I really just want her out of here.

“Yea. Made me feel pretty shitty until I realized what girl you kept mumbling about.” She chuckles and yells to the crowd in the living room, “Get up assholes. We’re leaving soon!”

“What… um… what girl was I mumbling about?” She stops picking up her things to stare at me. Blank faced, she furrows her brows and shakes her head like I’ve lost my mind.

“Alexis, Braydon. You wouldn’t stop mumbling about breaking her heart and how guilty you felt. ‘She’ll be even more ruined’ were your exact words I do believe.” Standing, she walks over to me and lays her hand on my shoulder. “You need to figure your shit out, Braydon. I didn’t even think you two were into each other like that.” She walks over to the couch and starts nudging her friends with her heel. “Come on you three. Time to get you home and figure out what the hell you did last night.” She waves them on as they hurry to throw clothes on and grab their belongings. She must have noticed the confused look on my face and huffs, throwing her purse on over her shoulder. “Oh… um, Braydon, meet Tanner, Blaize, and Mandy. Guys… this is Braydon.” She’s being awkward as hell, I’m at the point in my hangover that I don’t give a damn who they are or what they did in my apartment last night. I nod at them and grab my mug to refill it, then head to the cabinet for the meds that are going to help this headache that’s growing each minute I’m awake.

By the time the four of them leave, I’m ready to pass the fuck out for a few hours, but my phone dings so naturally I run to grab it and smile when I see it’s from her.

AL:
Hope you’re safe. Didn’t want to wake you after a long night. Meeting with Lane’s lawyer today, will call after. <3

Lawyer? She’s meeting with his lawyer without me? Why did I not hear about this? Is she in town? Why wouldn’t she ask me for help? Maybe she really doesn’t think she needs me at all anymore now that she’s survived this long away without my help.

I’m completely failing at taking care of her, I’m not sure if I’m so upset about this because it was my final promise to my best friend or if it’s because of my feelings towards her.

Hitting the ‘call’ button, I wait for her to pick up only for it to go to voicemail after four rings. Her sweet, happy voice rings in my ears telling me to leave a message, but I know better than anyone she never checks her voice messages. Ending the call, I type out five texts, all with ranging emotion and anger that she didn’t ask for my help, only to delete them all. She said she’d call me when she’s done. She’s probably in the meeting right now, which means she’ll be calling me soon with whatever information they are feeding her. God I hope he had everything ready for his passing and we don’t have to deal with this all… I feel like I’m finally starting to be able to think of him without falling into a deep depression. It was touch and go there for a while, but now I feel like I won’t lose my shit if I walk into his apartment. And that’s a good thing, because I know soon she’s going to want to come back and empty it out. It needs to be done. Enough time has gone by that we need to start moving on with our lives.

He’s not coming back.

I spend the day getting ready for my shift at the bar tonight. Last night we had a show at a bigger bar in town so we had to bring in another part time employee to run the bar. Tonight it’s just me and Gabe, just like the old days. The show last night went great, and afterwards we were introduced to a few music producers in the area that work with indie artists. We could be well on our way to moving up the ranks like we’ve always wanted, we can’t fuck it up like so many other bands before us have done. If we make it, great… if not then it’s no loss to us because we aren’t doing it for fame… we’re doing it because we all love the music and the fans. I don’t want that to change. Part of me is afraid if we do go big then we’d start doing things for the wrong reasons… like money… and I don’t want that.

By the time my shift comes around I still haven’t heard from Alexis, I’m starting to get worried something happened. Typically she’s really good about getting back to me when she says she’s going to, so I can’t help but think something terrible has happened.

Maybe I should cancel my shift tonight and drive out to see her. Maybe she needs me and she’s not telling me she does because she’s too stubborn.

Or maybe I’m just being overly dramatic and needy. Jesus Christ.

Sitting in my chair in the office of the bar with a half-hour left until opening time, I sigh, looking at all the pictures we’ve collected over the years. We were stupid opening this with as little money and background as we had when we opened. I’ve learned, though, that if there’s one thing about Gabe, it’s that he doesn’t give up and always has to win. He’s put his heart and soul into it.

“Hey man,” Gabe announces as he shuts the office door behind him. “You look like shit.” He laughs at me and tosses his jacket on the chair behind his desk.

“I feel like shit,” I grumble, taking a swig of water. The hangover from last night has hung on all day, if I wasn’t worried about Alexis and what she’s doing today I’d be more worried about feeling like shit. As it is, I’m more worried about making sure I have my phone on me for when she calls or texts. I need to know what happened today with the lawyer. I need to know what’s going on. I feel like an asshole because I wasn’t there for her, I’m starting to wonder why she never told me she was meeting with him. We talk every day, and I’m sure she’s had this planned for days, at the very least.

“Brandon’s in tonight, too. We have a few parties planning on stopping in so it’s gonna be nuts.” Gabe sits at his desk and starts clicking away on his computer. For what, I’m not certain. I’ve always done the behind the scenes shit while he’s been the face of the bar. All the paperwork for the week including purchases and payments have already been handled.

“What’s going on over there?” I ask, curious what has him to smitten with his computer screen.

“Oh, uh… nothing.” I walk behind him to see as he quickly closes a window out.

“Is that a matchmaker site?” Barking out laughter, I can’t stop picturing Gabe on a dating site. “Holy shit, Gabriel Macmillan on a fucking dating site! The guys are gonna get a kick out of this, dude!” I pull out my phone to send the mass text that it seems like our playboy deluxe of the band is finally looking to settle down.

“Shut the fuck up, Braydon. You know we ain’t getting any younger. Plus, all the chicks we hang out with aren’t exactly wife material. You don’t need to spread the word that I’m on the hunt for a mom for some kids. It’s not like that shit. ”

“Too late,” I say, laughing as I see the responses start coming in. “I told you I’d pay you hack for telling everyone I was a love sick puppy when I slept with Trixie the first time.”

“You were hooked dude,” he grumbles. He’s always been angry that I nabbed her when I did, and I used to be pissed when he'd tease me about her because I hated that they all knew, but now I don’t care. Now I’d rather if she would latch on to one of the other band members so I could get her off my case.

“Crazy how things change, huh?”

“Yes. Insane. And on that note…” he trails off, closes his laptop and looks up at me. “How’s Alexis doing?”

I shake my head and walk out of the office, not even giving him the comeback he’s looking for, because I honestly don’t know how she's doing. I want to see her. I haven’t seen her yet this week and it’s eating at me. I miss her. I miss being around her.

Jesus I’m turning into the lovesick puppy now.

“Turn on some music. I have to get my mind off shit.” Leaving the office, I head out to the bar to start a job that will most definitely take my mind off everything.

And I’m right. An hour into my shift and all I can think about is making sure the bachelorette across the room doesn’t throw up on the speakers she’s standing near, and the man sitting at my bar chugging shots like there’s no tomorrow doesn’t try driving home tonight. There’s enough to worry about while running the business from behind the scenes. This past month that I’ve been working here on a more regular basis I’ve learned there’s even more shit to worry about when you’re here with the patrons. I’ve been mixing drinks, taking orders, and keeping up with the crowd for an hour now,  I haven’t once thought about the girl who won’t leave my thoughts alone.