Fool That I Am (13 page)

Over the course of the next month, Billie’s days were a
whirlwind of working, being with the kids, rehearsals, going out with Daniel,
and getting ready for Christmas. Every night, she would drop into bed exhausted
and happy…almost. Like a sore tooth, the thoughts of Sam refused to go away. He
was a specter that haunted her dreams, hovered in her mind, and rattled the
chains of her heart. She tried so hard to forget him and focus on the man in
her life that wanted and desired her. Daniel was a good man, and treated her
like gold, but she still couldn’t seem to love him like he wanted her to. Oh,
her body responded to his and her heart beat faster when she was wrapped in his
arms and pressed against the lean strength of his body, but her mind refused to
fall in line. Even as Daniel kissed her and ran his hands along her curves, her
mind would whisper
He’s not as big as Sam…His lips aren’t as kissably soft
as Sam’s…He doesn’t smell as good as Sam…He doesn’t make me melt like Sam.

She was determined to move on, though. Sam had a baby on the
way and Renata to think about now. It was time to let go and start a new life
for herself. Ever since she had started singing on the stage, she had noticed a
change in her attitude. She was more confident, outgoing, attentive to her
appearance, and just happier. Having the extra money, especially at Christmas
time, was a huge help, too. It felt good that she was earning enough money on
her own to support her family and she had even been able to splurge a little on
Christmas for the kids and her parents. Her bills were paid and she had put a
good dent in the hospital bills.

The only wrinkle was Daniel. He wanted to meet the kids and
they were becoming more curious about him, too. Billie was being cautious,
though. She didn’t know where her relationship with Daniel was going, so she
didn’t want to jump the gun and have them meet Daniel and get attached. She
also didn’t want Daniel to shower them with gifts and expensive trips to try to
win them over. She wasn’t averse to allowing Daniel a certain amount of leeway
when it came to spending money on their dates, within reason. He made sure to
keep their time together within acceptable boundaries such as dinner, theater,
concerts, or visits to museums. Even though he could afford to fly her across
the world with a snap of his fingers, she had no desire to partake in the
glamour and excess of the wealthy clients to which he catered. Billie had
humble tastes and realistic expectations and any sign of wasteful spending made
her uncomfortable.

Other than the excitement and planning for the holidays,
Billie was completely tied up in the preparations for the big Christmas concert
that was being held at The Platinum King the weekend before Christmas. It was
to be a huge event with dinner, dancing, and live performances by both her and
Johnny Bello, as well as appearances by a few of the other acts. Thanks to
popular demand, her set was the longest and last of the evening. She was
nervous and excited, especially since rehearsals had been going so well. Johnny
Bello was an older man around fifty years old with black shiny hair and a
rail-thin body. He was quite the charmer and received more than a few stern
glares from Daniel as he tried all his best lines on Billie. They were set to
duet on one song,
Baby It’s Cold Outside
, and rehearsals were going
better than she could have hoped. They sang well together and she was sure it
would be the hit of the night.

Billie was animatedly telling her friends all about it
during lunch one day a week before the concert. “I wish you all could be there.
Are you sure you can’t come?” she asked again, hoping for different answers.

Irene answered first. “I would love to, dear, but Will and I
are hosting the Christmas dinner and toy giveaway for the homeless shelter that
night. And, I want to thank you again for your donation, Billie. It went a long
way toward buying enough gifts to go around,” she said, reaching across the
table to grasp her hand firmly.

Billie waved her off, uncomfortable with the praise. “It was
only $200, Irene. I wish I could have done more,” she explained. It just didn’t
feel right to her to have money sitting in the bank when she knew there were so
many other single parent families like hers out there struggling, too. Changing
the subject, she said, “Jessica? Shanay? What about you guys?”

Jessica shook her head in the negative sending her red curls
bouncing. “You don’t know how badly I wish I could, Billie. But Jason is
insisting we go to his company Christmas party that night. Plus, I think he’s
still jealous from the last time I went, so I have to play it cool for a
while.”

“I’m out, too,” Shanay chimed in, sticking a fork into her
container of leftovers. “We’re doing Christmas at Grandmommy’s house that
night.”

Connie, bent over with her head in the refrigerator, called
from within its depths, “What do think I am? The chopped livers?” Pulling out a
plastic bag with her lunch in it, she turned to survey her best friend with a
hand on her hip. “I will be there,
mija
. Is that not good enough for
you?”

Billie rushed to appease her friend. “Of course having you
there is wonderful, Con! It’s just that we all had such a good time together
the last time. And, it really helped my nerves knowing that my friends were
cheering me on in the crowd,” Billie added sheepishly.

Shanay quirked an eyebrow at her and pointed her fork at
her. “Honey, you don’t need us cheering you on anymore. You got that hot man
watching over you now. Daniel can’t keep his eyes off you, especially when you
are up on that stage.”

Jessica sighed heavily. “Oh, my God, Billie. You are
so
lucky!
If I had a man like that paying attention to me, I would be walking bow-legged
for days! I would break him in half!”

Irene laughed as the heat crawled up Billie’s face. “I have
to agree with Jessica. Any man that looks that good has to be good in bed, too.
How about it, Billie? Does he rock your world?”

Billie shot a panicked glance at Connie who rolled her eyes
dramatically. “She wouldn’t know, you guys. She still hasn’t given it up. They
are ‘taking it slow,’” she explained, using air quotes to show her opinion of
this idea.

Everyone stopped for a moment to regard Billie silently.
Before they could start in on her, she defended herself by saying, “We’ve only
been dating for little more than a month! Geez, y’all! Just because I don’t
want to jump into bed with him doesn’t mean that I’m not going to…eventually.”

Connie gave her a suspicious look as she unpacked her
sandwich. “I don’t know, Billie. I’m starting to think that something, make
that
someone
, is holding you back. It’s time to move on and jump his
bones already.”

Billie absently shredded her napkin as she shot a glare at
her friend. “This coming from the woman that slept with Hank the first night
she met him,” she groused. Instantly, she was sorry for the slur. “Sorry, Con.”

Connie shrugged one shoulder indifferently. “I don’t care.
It’s true. He was sexy and available and so am I. We are having fun and the sex
is
excelente y caliente
. But we are talking, too, and he takes me on
dates and he calls me. He is my boyfriend, and that is what you do in a
relationship. What are you so afraid of with Daniel?”

Irene quickly came to her defense. “I think it’s admirable
of her to wait. The build-up to sex is always more exciting than the actuality
of it. Enjoy the anticipation, dear. The excitement will wane soon enough.”

Jessica stared at Irene like she was out of her mind. “You
are out of your mind, old woman! You must not be having the right kind of sex
if the anticipation was better than the reality!”

Shanay and Billie laughed while Irene and Jessica continued
to fuss back and forth. Connie took advantage of the distraction to grab
Billie’s attention. “Tell me honestly,
linda
. Why do you hold back with
him? Is it because you are truly not ready to take that step, or does it have
to do with Sam?”

Billie rubbed her temples in frustration. “Maybe a little
bit of both, Con. I really do like Daniel and I
want
to fall in love with
him, but my heart is too stubborn to forget Sam. Why can’t I let him go? He has
moved on in his life and will be having his own family soon, yet here I am
still mired in the crush that has kept me prisoner for years. What do I do?”
she asked her friend desperately.

Connie dropped her sandwich on the table, and reached for
Billie’s cold hands. Holding them in her own, she looked deep into Billie’s
eyes and said, “Sometimes the heart is not only blind, but deaf, too. The only
way to move on is to put one foot in front of the other. If you truly want to
forget about Sam, then you need to focus on someone else. If Daniel is not the
one for you, then keep looking until you find someone who fills your heart so
full that he pushes everyone else out. Give yourself permission to find love
somewhere else,
mija
, and you may be surprised what you find, okay?”

Billie smiled tremulously and nodded. “You’re right, Connie.
Daniel deserves to have my complete attention. I’m so glad you are my friend.
What would I do without you?”

Picking her sandwich back up and taking a big bite, the
feisty woman replied, “Buy your clothes at Walmart and wear the wrong color of
eye shadow, just like you did before I met you.” With a teasing wink, she
followed it up with, “
Somos hermanas. Te quiero mucho, mi amiga.”

Billie blew her a kiss and replied, “I love you, too,
bestie.”

***************************************************************

That afternoon, Sam was wrapping up the day at the
construction site of a new elementary school in Bardstown. They were running
ahead of schedule, so he decided to take mercy on his crew and let them off two
hours early since the temperature was steadily plummeting into the 30’s.
Sitting in the cab of his truck, he cranked the heater on high while he made
some last-minute notations about a few issues that had popped up with the
subcontractor for the windows when his cell phone rang.

He tossed his clipboard onto the seat next to him and pulled
his phone out of his coat pocket. It was his boss, Donald Worthington, the
owner of the construction business he worked for. Hoping it wasn’t more bad
news about the remaining permits they were waiting on from the city, he
answered the phone.

“Hey, Don. How’s it going?” he asked casually. Even though
Don was close to twenty years his senior, he had been a mentor and friend to
Sam since he had started working for him straight out of college.

“It’s been going pretty good, knock on wood,” he replied
jovially. Ever since he had promoted Sam to Field Superintendent, Don had been
spending more time with his family which had drastically improved his
temperament. “Your crew about done for the day?”

Sam turned the radio down and replied, “Yeah. I sent them
home for the day since we’re so far ahead of schedule. That wind is slicing
through us like knives. You need me to do anything else today?”

“No, no, nothing like that. I just wanted to see if you had
any plans for this Saturday night. Mary and I have two tickets to a show, but
we can’t make it. Her sciatica is acting up again and she won’t let me go
without her. Would you be interested?” Don asked him.

Leaning over the seat, Sam was making a few more notes on
his clipboard and was barely paying attention now that he knew it wasn’t
business-related. “I don’t have much going on. What kind of show is it?”

Clearing his throat to capture Sam’s attention, he said,
“It’s for a Christmas show at the new club located inside The Silver Knight.
It’s strictly a black-tie affair-“

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Sam interrupted his boss. “Did you
just say The Silver Knight? As in,
The Silver Knight
club?”

Don chuckled through the phone. “Finally got your attention,
did I? Yes,
that
Silver Knight club. They sent me two tickets as an
incentive to visit. They’ve been trying to recruit me for the last six months,
and I’ve been letting them. Mary and I have decided to join at the beginning of
the New Year, but that doesn’t mean they have to know that right away, now does
it? So what do you say? You want the tickets or not?”

Sam thought it over for half a second. “Hell, yeah, I want
those tickets. I don’t have a date to bring with me. Do you think they would
mind if I brought a friend?”

“I don’t think it has to be couples, so I don’t see why not.
Plus, how else will you get to scope out all the ‘hostesses’ they have working
the floor?” Don teased him lightly. “You’re in for a real treat, my boy. They
have this new singer there now that I heard is a real knockout. Some lady by
the name of Valerie Jones. She’s got all the members panting after her. Just make
sure you represent me well, Sam. See if you can do a little networking while
you’re there, too,” his boss directed him.

Sam felt a stirring of excitement at this unexpected treat.
His mood had been so foul lately that even his crew was steering clear of him
and Chad had been avoiding him. Maybe this was just the thing to pull him out
of his funk. “Thanks a lot, Don. I really appreciate you thinking of me. I
can’t wait to get a peek inside the infamous club that I’ve been hearing so
much about. I’ll make sure I don’t embarrass you. Thanks again,” Sam repeated
before ending the call.

On the other end, Donald Worthington ended the call and then
immediately began to dial another number. After it rang a few times, a voice
answered.

“It’s Don Worthington. I’ve passed the tickets on to my
foreman and he has readily agreed to attend. Are you sure that’s all I have to
do? I still get my membership fee reduced by half?” he asked suspiciously.