Flesh: Part Five (The Flesh Series Book 5) (4 page)

“
It's
fun.”

“
Well,
I get that.” I give him a sarcastic look. “I mean, what
happens there? You said it's a fetish party.”

“
Oh.”
He nods. “Well, a lot happens there. There are vendors and
entertainment. A lot of stuff you wouldn't see anywhere else?”

“
Like?”

“
Like...”
He looks up to the ceiling, thinking. “Well, there's a
suspension show, and aerial silks, and of course there's a dungeon.”

The word sends a
shiver rolling down my spine. I know all about dungeons. I've read up
on them and watched enough porno with Janice to practically be an
expert on the subject.

“
And
would you want to take me to the dungeon?” I quirk an eyebrow.

His smile broadens.
“If you'd like. I'm not taking you to pressure you into
anything. I just want to give you a better glimpse inside of my
world, into the things I like to do. I know you're not very
experienced, and I've been trying to take things slow with you.”
He pauses, suddenly looking distant. “Eventually though, I'd
like to do other things with you.”

“
Other
things. Like what?”

His eyes meet mine
as if he has just snapped out of a dream. “There's no point in
spoiling the surprise. Come with me. You'll like it.”

My shoulders slump
as I feel my resolve slipping away. This is my chance to save my job.
Not only that, but I'll get to spend more time with Lucian. Isn't
that what I originally wanted, to be more involved with him? This is
kind of like an introduction to us dating—the opportunity to
have a real relationship with him.

“
What
if I don't like it?” I ask, feeling my insecurities getting the
better of me.

“
If
you don't like it, then you don't like it.” He shrugs as if
he's unable to come up with a better answer.

“
Fleshfest.”
I bite my bottom lip, thinking.

“
How
about I pick you up at eight? Things don't really get exciting there
until around ten. That way, you can be there early to ease into
things. It will be less overwhelming.”

“
No,”
I reply quickly. The thought of being alone in a vehicle with him
makes my anxiety skyrocket, probably because it gives him control
over how long I'm forced to stay. “I'll take my own car.”

“
So
you'll go?” He pushes himself off of the bed, giving me that
charming, panty-melting smile that makes me want to see him happy all
the time.

“
A
look into your world.” It feels like nothing coherent is coming
out of my mouth. I'm so overwhelmed and confused and excited, all at
the same time. “Yes, I'll go.”

“
Excellent.”
He approaches me, and for a moment, I think he's going to kiss me.
Instead, he wraps an arm around me, turning me towards the door and
placing his hand on the small of my back to lead me out. “I
have a full schedule tomorrow, so I won't be able to meet with you. I
look forward to seeing you at Fleshfest on Saturday. You can get the
address from their website. Text me when you arrive, or just ask for
me at the door. Everyone there knows who I am.”

“
Alright.”
I nod, allowing him to usher me out.

I'm thankful that he
has the decency not to hit on me after such an intense and emotional
conversation. Maybe he's not such a bad guy after all. Perhaps he
does actually care. That thought gives me hope, though I'm not sure
what for. It feels like we're far too different; not really
compatible. He made it seem like he wants to try to be with me
though. And I do like him a lot—want to be with him, too. This
should be a dream come true, but somehow, it just doesn't feel right.

CHAPTER THREE

While I know that
I'm supposed to show up at Fleshfest alone, I can't resist telling
Janice about it. This is definitely her thing, and of course, as soon
as I mention the event, she immediately calls off from work so that
she can go with me. Part of me is glad. I feel so weak when I'm alone
with Lucian. She can be my cock-blocking shield if he tries to push
me into anything that makes me uncomfortable.

“
We've
got to get sexy costumes,” Janice says as we sit in front of
the computer together and read about the festival on Flesh's website.

I wrinkle my nose at
the idea. Originally, I had planned to arrive in something
comfortable, jeans and a T-shirt. The less easy access I am, the less
Lucian will be tempted to want to do stuff with me at the festival. I
really don't want to end up in the dungeon with him.

“
How
about let's not.” I tilt my head to the side, giving her a
serious look.

“
Oh,
come on, Amy. You want to fit in, don't you? Everyone is going to be
dressed up.”

Including Lucian. I
wonder what he's going to be wearing. The thought of him in leather
pants and a harness makes my sex clench with desire. Fetish wear
probably suits him, as does everything else. Will I really be able to
resist him if he goes dressed like that?

“
Let's
go shopping.” Janice stands and tugs at my arm.

I groan. “Why
can't we just go dressed normally?”

“
Come
on. I'll hear no more about it.” She heads to the living room
to grab her car keys.

***

“
How
about this?” I pull a catsuit off of the rack of lingerie at
the sex shop we're at. The outfit isn't revealing, and it isn't
latex. The only easy access part to it is the bust, which zips open.

Janice scowls at it.
She's already picked out her costume, a sexy little halter dress that
can barely even be called that. The thing is more straps than dress,
with only enough material to cover her boobs, her butt, and her
crotch. She's going to totally rock it with her perfect hourglass
figure.

To be honest, the
idea of Lucian seeing her in it makes me nervous. What if he finds
her more attractive than me? Who wouldn't, really? I definitely don't
want to lose him to my best friend though. He's everything she wants,
and she's everything he probably wants as well. Perhaps inviting her
was a bad idea.

“
Maybe
you should pick something less revealing.” I reach out to take
the outfit from her and place it back on the rack, but she quickly
jerks it away from me, clutching it to her chest.

“
Mine.
It's not my fault you're self-conscious.”

“
I
just don't want Lucian to think you look sexier than me.” I
sulk.

“
Then
pick something sexier than this.” She pulls an outfit off of
the rack and holds it up for me. “How about this?”

I take one quick
look at the black vinyl dress with a double keyhole front and roll my
eyes. “Does it look like I have enough boobs to fill that out?”

“
How
about this, then?” She picks out a dress that's held together
with straps that go down the sides.

“
My
rolls will show.” I can feel my frustration building. All of
these outfits are designed for perfect girls with skinny bodies and
big tits. I have way too much body and not enough boobs. “I
think I'm just going to take this.” I put the catsuit under my
arm and start fumbling through my purse for my wallet.

“
You
most certainly will not.” Janice snatches the outfit away from
me and puts it back on the rack.

“
Janice,
come on,” I whine. “I feel like we've been here forever.
I'm not going to find anything else I like.”

She sighs. “Here.
You don't want to be too revealing, then get this.” Janice
shuffles through the outfits a moment longer before pulling out a
blouse and skirt combo that looks like something I'd wear to work—the
latex version. The only thing sexy about it is that it's skin tight,
the skirt is short, and the blouse zips all the way up in the front.
It's still way too easy access, but at least it covers all the right
places. I'll feel less self-conscious in it than I would in the other
outfits, though Janice is still going to outshine me for sure.

“
I
don't think I want to go anymore.” I look down at the ground,
letting my negative thoughts get the better of me.

“
Take
it. We're going.” Janice nudges me towards the register.

I trudge along at a
snail's pace, hating the outfit, hating my body, and feeling like
agreeing to go to Fleshfest was one big mistake.

***

It's Saturday night,
and Janice couldn't be more full of energy if she tried. She's
hopping around the apartment in her new outfit, looking every bit as
fabulous as I imagined she would. I'm stuck in the bathroom, fussing
over my hair and makeup. Nothing is going right. I have my hair
pulled up in a bun that's so tight it's stretching out my features.
My eyeliner and mascara look far too dark, and I couldn't possibly
feel less sexy than I do right now. Even though the outfit covers all
the right places, it hugs all the wrong places, and in the bathroom
lighting, my curves seem to be accentuated and not in a good way.

“
I
don't want to go. I look horrible.” I lean on the bathroom
counter and rest my face in my hands, not even caring if I'm messing
up my makeup.

Janice leaps into
the bathroom, moving with the flexibility and grace of a cat. Damn
her for looking so perfect. Now I definitely don't want to go. If
Lucian sees her standing next to me, I'll be forgotten in no time.

“
Why
don't you just go without me.” My expression is earnest and
almost pleading.

“
No.”
She shakes her head. “This was your idea. We're both going.
Weren't you supposed to meet whats his nuts there anyway?”

“
Lucian.
Yeah.” My shoulders slump. This is my one chance to prove that
I want to be with him. I do want to be with him, but I don't think
it's worth looking like an idiot over. If this is what I have to go
through to be a part of his world, then maybe I don't want to be in
his world after all.

Janice stands behind
me with her hands on my shoulders. “He's going to love you in
this.”

I quirk my head to
the side so she can see the sarcasm etched in my features. “I
look more like a Domme than a submissive.”

“
You
knew that's what the outfit was for when you bought it.”
There's no sympathy in her voice.

She's right though.
Anyone with eyes can see that this isn't an outfit for a submissive.

“
You'll
be Mistress Underwood tonight,” Janice teases me.

“
That's
Domme to you.” I flick the fingers on her right hand to get her
to take it off of my shoulder.

She drops both of
her hands to her sides and stands next to me, looking herself over in
the mirror. “Seriously though, take your time and try not to
stress. It's going to be dark in there, I'd bet. He's not going to be
able to see whatever imperfections you're trying to hide anyway.”

I sigh, “You're
probably right. I don't know why I'm still fussing in here. We should
just leave and get this over with.”

“
We're
not leaving yet.” Janice looks at me like I'm stupid.

“
What
do you mean we're not leaving yet?” I glance down at my watch.
“It's almost eight. We need to get going.”

“
You
want to hook this guy, right?” She moves some of my makeup
aside and lifts herself up onto the bathroom counter.

“
Yeah...”

“
Being
on time isn't the way to do it. You need to make him wait on you.”

“
But
I'm always on time.” I shake my head. “I think that's one
thing Lucian likes about me.”

“
Trust
me on this one.” She holds her hand out to silence me. “I
know guys. You have to make them seem unimportant. You don't want him
to think your world revolves around him. Then, he'll lose interest.”

“
Being
on time is just polite.” I knit my brows at her.