Flesh: Part Five (The Flesh Series Book 5)

Flesh

Part Five

SKY CORGAN

Text copyright 2015
by Sky Corgan.

All rights reserved.

No part of this
publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of
the author.

CHAPTER ONE

“
So,
sugar lips, were you able to keep the kitten in the cattery?”
Derrick's words are full of mockery, as if he expects me to have
slipped up, which I did.

I push my keyboard
aside and rest my head in my arms, groaning. I can't even look at
him, I'm so guilty.

“
Well?”
He nudges my back.

“
Can
we not talk about this?” I lift my head up and rub my face with
my hands, not caring that I'm smearing my makeup.

All morning, I've
been a blubbering mess. You'd think that sleeping with an incredibly
hot guy would bolster my self-confidence. Not me though. I'm a
weirdo. Everything going through my mind is negative.

Was I so
desperate that I couldn't resist Lucian? How could I not see that all
he wanted was sex? I knew this would screw me up emotionally, and yet
I did it anyway. I deserve to feel like this. Like a worthless slut.

“
It
looks like you had a
late
night.”
He frowns at me.

“
Don't
you have a job to do?” I snap, not wanting to deal with him.

I expect Derrick to
recoil and go back to his desk, but instead, he kneels beside me, his
expression sympathetic. “Hey, Amy.” He waits until I turn
to look at him before he continues, “I'm sorry. It's honestly
none of my business. I just want to make sure you're okay. Because
you don't look okay.”

All of my emotions
surge to the surface in a flood, and I allow him to see the tears
running down my face. My voice is a hushed whisper as I break down in
front of him. “Oh, Derrick. I'm not okay.”

He stands and pulls
me into his arms before I have a chance to fall into a fit of
sobbing. Then he helps me to my feet and walks me to the front of the
building. It's a kindness. Already, my other co-workers are looking
at us. When you work in such a small space, everyone knows everyone's
business, and this isn't something I want everyone knowing about.

Once we get outside,
the tears really begin to flow. Derrick holds me until the heaving
subsides, rubbing my back gently. His cologne smells expensive, and I
instantly begin to worry about crying on the designer suit he's
wearing today. As soon as I've sucked up my emotions, I pull away
from him, quickly wiping my eyes.

“
Are you going
to tell me what happened?” he asks.

“
I guess going
over to Lucian's house by myself and not jumping on his dick was more
of a feat than I thought,” I laugh awkwardly, thinking back to
the time when I thought it was a load of crap that Derrick didn't
trust me to be alone with Lucian.

“
It was the
eyes, wasn't it?” He wrinkles his nose at me, trying to be
funny. Somehow, it works.

“
Definitely
the eyes.” I nod, thinking of Lucian's ghostly pale eyes.

“
Well.”
He takes a step away from me. “You obviously wanted to sleep
with him, or else you wouldn't have. So tell me what's really wrong?”

“
You already
know what's wrong.” I give him a sarcastic look. “It's
everything you said. Guys like him...” I hesitate, feeling a
rush of negative thoughts rake over me, causing my heart to ache with
pain. I don't want to say what I'm about to, but I know it's true.
“Guys like him aren't interested in girls like me. Not in the
way I want them to be.” My gaze falls to Derrick's white
slip-on loafers.

“
Oh, that's
nonsense.” He rolls his eyes. “Just because Johnny
Vampire is a hoebag doesn't mean you're not worthy of a man his
equal. Not all men are pricks, I promise you. And you're perfectly
beautiful and amazing. That asshat would be lucky to have someone
like you. He just can't see past his dick to realize it.”

“
Johnny
Vampire?” I let out a snigger. That whole mini-speech was
filled with adorable ridiculousness. This is why I love Derrick so
much. He knows exactly how to cheer me up.

“
He looks like
that one guy. You know, from that show?”

“
Yeah.”
I shake my head. “That one guy. Right. But anyway, I feel
better now. I think we can go back inside.”

Derrick grabs my arm
before I have a chance to head through the door. I turn to him, a bit
startled.

“
What are you
going to do now, Amy?” His voice is all seriousness.

I sigh, knowing what
he's talking about. Lucian expects that I'll give in to him from now
on. I'm pretty much at his mercy, and I don't doubt that he'll
advance on me again. As Derrick said before, my new relationship with
Lucian puts both me and the company in a bad position. At this point,
if I refuse him, he could very easily pull out of the contract.
Things aren't just about the job anymore.

“
Let's just
say, I hope we can stay friends if I get fired over this.”

***

The day is long,
partially because I spend most of it stuck inside of my head and
partially because I keep obsessively checking my email for something
from Lucian. After I send him a few different furniture selections
that I picked out for his bedroom, I wait and wait and wait. There's
nothing. No response.

When I don't hear
from him by noon, I start finding myself staring at Tyra's office
door, waiting for her to come out and tell me that Lucian requested
another private meeting with me. She doesn't though. In fact, I
barely see her all day. If she has any news about Lucian, she doesn't
seem interested in sharing it with me or Derrick.

My thoughts
culminate into a horrendous headache since my brain just won't take a
rest. Lucian. Lucian. Lucian. He's all I can think about.

Does he like the
furniture I picked out? Has he had time to look at it yet? Where did
he go last night? Why was he hiding those pictures from me? Is he
bored of me already? Will I really be able to resist him if he
advances on me again? What will I say to him when we see each other
next?

By the time my shift
is over, I'm every bit as depressed as I was when I came in to work
this morning. Lucian didn't contact me at all, and that just feels
weird, like something is wrong.

It's strange driving
home, knowing that I have the rest of the afternoon to myself. For
the past two nights, I've been with Lucian. Been with him in a very
physical way. Not seeing him today makes me feel things between us
might actually be over. It's an unrealistic thing to hope for though.
He has a career and a life outside of working on redecorating his
home. More than likely, he just got too busy to interact with me
today. I should think nothing of it, but it stays at the forefront of
my mind.

Luckily, Janice has
the night off from work, so I have something to distract me. She's
sitting on the sofa in our living room when I get home, watching some
sappy love story that I've seen at least a dozen times before but
can't remember the name of. Just seeing the happy couple on the
screen makes my heart ache.
I'll never have that. Love like that
doesn't really exist anymore.

“
Hey,
Amy.” Janice glances at me from over the sofa as I set my purse
down on the bar. “How was work today?”

“
It
was work,” I sigh, retreating to my room to change into
something more comfortable.

Dread spears at me
with the realization that Janice will probably want to talk about my
new love interest at some point tonight. If I'm lucky, the movie will
keep her entertained, and she'll forget all about it. Maybe I should
just stay in my room. That wouldn't work though. Then she'd really
know that something was wrong with me.

I put on a footed
pair of fleece pajamas with cupcakes printed on them. It's the pair I
always wear when I want to feel secure. My mom bought them for me a
few years ago, and they quickly became one of my favorite things to
wear to bed at night. If Lucian could only see me now, I think with a
sneer. Maybe I'm not even mature enough to handle a man like him.
Obviously. Otherwise, I wouldn't be taking this so hard.

I peak around the
corner before waddling out into the living room, knowing full and
well that Janice is going to make fun of me for my childish
appearance.

“
Oh
Lord.” She tosses her head back in amusement when she sees the
pajamas. “It must have been a tough day for you to be wearing
those.”

“
Hey,
now, you know these are my favorite pajamas.” I drop myself
heavily onto the sofa next to her and cross my arms over my chest
defensively.

“
Should
I go bake us a cake?”

My stomach grumbles
at just the mention of cake. A little voice inside of me, however,
says no. It's like I can see the angel on my shoulder smacking me on
the nose with a wooden spoon.
You don't need to get any fatter.
I
ignore it and go with the devil's response, the part of me who is
trying desperately to no longer give a crap about Lucian Reddick.
“That would be lovely.”

“
Chocolate?”
she asks, as if she even needs to. Who in the hell ever wants to eat
white cake when they're feeling down?

“
You
know me so well.” I give her knee a playful squeeze before she
stands to head to the kitchen.

“
Need
any help?” I ask over my shoulder, already knowing she'll say
no.

“
Nope.
Just turn the TV up a little, so I can hear it better.”

I lean over and grab
the remote to turn the volume up a few clicks. While I really don't
want to watch the movie, asking if I can change the channel will just
queue Janice in to the fact that my problem is love related. Instead,
I make a mockery of the movie inside of my head, thinking about how
full of shit it is. Hopefully, she won't want to watch another
romance after this one. I'm honestly not sure how much I can take
before I let my bad mood shine through.

“
I'm
thinking of going back to Flesh,” she tells me over the sound
of the television.

Flesh. Just the
mention of that place makes me cringe. That's where I met
him
.
That's when everything changed. I can't help but wonder if I had
never met Lucian at Flesh if I would still be sexually involved with
him now. There's no way of knowing though.

“
Oh?”
It's the most interest I can pretend to muster.

“
Yeah.
I had a lot of fun the first time I went. Besides, I think I'd like
to do a few more scenes before I start looking for a Dom of my own.
It might be easier to get a Dom if I'm experienced. Then again, maybe
not.”

“
You
could probably find someone to do a scene with for free now.” I
tilt my head to the side, but I don't look back at her. This is the
best part of the movie, where the guy realizes he was being an idiot
and goes to find the girl before she moves out of state and out of
his life forever.

“
I
could, but I really like the professionalism at Flesh. I feel like
those guys know what they're doing. I don't have to worry about
ending up with some douche who is just playing pretend.”