Flawlessly Executed (Dark Horse Guardians Book 3) (9 page)

She broke the silence as she touched his arm with her hand, “I think Rashida is wonderful.”

Ben shot her a sidelong glance, “Yes, she is. But I am worried about her. She will be in grave danger and I’ll be distracted thinking about her safety on the mission. And, I’m worried about Jake. Wendy left him.”

Lara took in his handsome profile while driving. “I admire you, Ben.” She watched as the slightest hint of a smile graced his face. Lara wanted more than anything to help him. It wasn’t just love that she felt for Ben – she respected him, probably more than he could imagine.

The cottage on Prince Edward Island was empty and the porch light was on. Ben touched Lara’s hand, “Ah, a quiet place to sleep for a couple of days. Just the two of us.” She smiled at him and they scurried inside in an attempt to escape the brisk ocean breeze. Ben immediately made a fire in the kitchen stove and built a roaring fire in the living room woodstove. Lara searched through the refrigerator and made sandwiches. They sat in the kitchen enjoying the warmth while they ate in silence, realizing they were extremely hungry. It was 3:00 AM, and Lara was exhausted.

She watched as Ben peeled off his clothing and his strong arms pulled her onto the bed with him. He whispered, “Leave your clothes on tonight, darlin”.

His blue eyes met hers and she whispered, “I love you, Ben…” As she placed her body next to his underneath the pile of blankets, she immediately fell asleep in his strong embrace. The only sound was the beating of Ben’s heart and the waves gently washing upon the shore.

~ Ben ~

He slept later than he had anticipated and slipped out of bed not wanting to wake Lara. He showered and shaved with efficiency; then moved into the kitchen to cook breakfast. His cell phone vibrated and it was Abby again. He noticed it was the latest in a long succession of missed calls, “Where
are
you, Ben?” I thought you’d help me move this weekend…”

He suddenly wished he’d never given his cell number to Abby. But in a polite way, he replied, “I’m out of town, Abby. I won’t be back until Monday. I’m sorry, but I assumed you had someone helping you with the move.” He hoped that would satisfy her, but it didn’t.

Abby continued, “I don’t know anyone in Portland except you and Lucy Adams. I was hoping that you would take me around and show me the sights. But, I guess you can do that when you return.”

Ben sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly in an effort to control his frustration, “Well, Abby, Lucy Adams is a single woman and I’m sure she can take you around and show you the best restaurants and night life.” Abby sounded pissed off but she finally hung up. He hoped this wasn’t going to continue to be a problem, but felt there was some sort of unfinished business Abby had with him. Business he did not want to attend to at this time.

He heard Lara stir and brought a fresh cup of coffee to her before she rose from bed. “Good morning darlin…coffee.” Lara smiled and pushed her disheveled hair away, “Who was that on the phone?”

Damn. He hoped she hadn’t heard him talking. But he wouldn’t gloss over it, “That was Abby, asking me to help her move. I told her to get Lucy Adams, her new-found friend to help.” Ben watched Lara’s face for a reaction, but she sipped the Hazelnut coffee slowly and her eyes met his with no trace of acknowledgement.

He smiled gazing upon his beautiful groggy wife. Even with messy hair and sleeping in her clothing, she still looked incredibly beautiful to him. He suggested, “Why don’t you shower and we’ll go for a walk on the beach. It’s a beautiful sunny day.”

Just the word “shower” triggered an involuntary sexual response in Ben. He was alone here in this secret paradise with his lovely wife and he’d be damned to let any opportunity slip away to be close to her. But this weekend was all about him revealing things to her that she didn’t yet know about his work. He toasted an slice of bread for her while she was in the shower.

When she appeared in the doorway in running pants and a T-shirt he handed her a slice of toast, then he took her hand and led her to the root cellar underneath the bungalow. First he unlocked two steel doors leading to the space. Crouching, they made their way to a strange little shelf in the ledge of the foundation. Ben removed a few rocks and revealed a safe nestled inside. Smiling, his blue eyes lit up as he whispered, “You need to know about this. There’s money in here.” He worked the tumbler on the lock and the door opened. He watched Lara’s eyes go wide as she stared at piles of neatly bundled cash.

~ Lara ~

For a moment she felt like she was Alice in Wonderland peering through some magical door to another world. “Holy God, Ben! How much money is
in
here?”

He smiled, “One million, usually, give or take.” My money is spread out all over the place. Some of it is invested and some of it is like this, liquid cash, but in different locations.” She noticed he took some of the cash out of the safe and put it into a bag.

Her eyes roamed around the scullery-like room taking in all of the details. There were antiques and boxes of old blankets. She removed several of the blankets and shook the spiders off, letting out a little scream.

Ben laughed, “Those are old quilts. They’re from Ireland. My grandmother made them.” Lara examined each one and noted the fine detail and workmanship of each. “They’re
beautiful
.” She spread each one out on an old wooden trestle table, one atop another. Ben closed the safe and put the rocks back in front making it undetectable.

Lara’s eyes met his as she patted the pile of quilts on the table, “This is just about the right height…” and he laughed remembering when he said those very words to her and she blushed.

She turned and sat upon the table, then reclined beckoning him with her eyes. She sensed he was instantly mesmerized by the idea of making love on the table in the root cellar. She let her long dark surround her on the table and he moved and stood above her. His blue eyes lit up with mischief and she giggled.

His broad hands slipped gently beneath her bottom and she felt his strong hands pulling her toward him. The height of the table
was
just right. He seemed to wait for her smile and she heard him inhale sharply when she did. She gazed into his steel blue eyes as he pulled her running pants off. Then he lifted her shirt and gazed at her body seductively in the dim light. She heard his pants fall to the floor. Damn he was efficient.

Gently his hands outlined the circle of her breasts. She felt hypnotized as he explored the soft curves of her waist and hips. His hand caressed the smooth skin of her thigh. He became her servant in the root cellar and Lara relished every kiss, every touch, every caress, and ended up with her legs in the air. The prolonged anticipation was almost unbearable. There was a tingling in every nerve of her body as his strong hands cupped her rear and drew her to him. In a wave of perfectly timed pleasure, they cried out simultaneously. She had never done anything like it before and found the experience exhilarating.

Spent and breathing heavily, Ben dragged himself next to her on the table and wrapped her in his arms. He softly whispered, “I can’t get enough of this.” Lara couldn’t stop the smile that came over her face.

The walk on the beach turned into a jog that lasted nearly two hours. Returning to the kitchen, they ate French toast and bacon as if they’d never seen food before. Ben seemed stunned when Lara’s green eyes met his and she said something he was not expecting, “Ben, I want to go on this mission with you.”

“Absolutely not,” was Ben’s immediate response to her statement, and she wondered how he could answer so succinctly without even
pretending
to mull it over.

But she wasn’t giving up so easily, “Ben, you are not even giving me a chance to explain
why
I want to go on the mission…” She noticed his jaw tensed and caught the serious stare in his pale blue eyes. He started to speak, but she placed her finger on his lips. “Please, Ben, listen to me.”

His head rested face down on his hands, as if he had the world’s worst headache. Then he lifted his face, parted his fingers and peered at her, “Go ahead. I’ll listen.”

With trepidation Lara began, “It’s about Nadia. You know how strongly I feel about what happened to Nadia. I think I can be helpful to your mission. Rashida is going with you. Take me with you, too. I have skills. I can shoot, I can fight. I’m healthy and fit. I’m proficient with many types of weapons. But, more importantly, I want to be with you in the field.”

His eyes did not change. He murmured, “Are you finished?” Taking her hand gingerly, Ben’s eyes met hers, “You have no idea how much I’d love to have you stowed away on that plane. To hold you and kiss you at night would be the most incredibly wonderful treat in the world.
But, I
can’t have you there, Lara
. I would be distracted thinking about your safety. You can’t speak tribal languages, Arabic, Pashto, Farsi, Urdo. Rashida speaks the languages, she knows the customs. Rashida will blend in. I’ll be distracted enough with her on the mission, that’s if I approve her going. It’s not just up to me. My whole team will need to weigh in and be in unison on the idea. I hope you understand.”

She looked down at his hand holding hers. “Ben, I
don’t
understand.”

~ Ben ~

He emphatically did
not
want to get into this discussion with Lara. But she had pushed him to the edge and there was no turning back, “Okay, I will try to help you understand what goes on inside my head during a mission. It’s this simple:
I’m gone
. By that I mean, the Ben you know isn’t here,” he gestured toward his heart. “When I leave you, Lara, and go to the dark side, there’s nothing but tactical stuff in my mind…and I have no feelings for those I am going to kill. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a heart, because I do. I’m human. But when I go into killing mode, you don’t want to be with me. I become hyper-vigilant, especially when there are innocents in the picture. The last mission I was on, I worried constantly about the women and children. They’re not collateral damage. They are innocent people caught in the crossfire. The whole reason I do what I do is to
protect
them.

I had a quote that hung above my cot while I was deployed, “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.” Those are the words of Albert Einstein and they define
who
I am. Protecting innocent people is what I’m all about. If I put you in the mix, my head won’t be in the game. I need to keep you in a box on a shelf in my mind, safe and away from the insanity that becomes my life while on a mission. Can you understand any of this?” He watched her green eyes take on a stubbornness that he was hoping would disappear.

She countered, “You can keep me
out
of the mission. I can be at a base hidden away. That way we can be
together
.” He furrowed his brow and put on a serious face, “No. That would be crazy. I need to stay with the team. When we’re not killing bad guys, we’re sitting around
talking
about how we’re going to do the next kill. We eat and sleep together and sometimes don’t bathe for days. It would be shocking to you. I have a switch inside that turns off that part of me that even
thinks
of normal life. I go to a place in my head that is
all about the mission
. I am at one with the team. We live and breathe operational details. We swear and belch while we spit tobacco juice and argue. It’s
not
a place for my wife to be.”

~ Lara ~

Lara folded her hands in front of her feeling defeated. She knew it was no use to continue pleading with Ben. He had made the decision. She didn’t know what came over her anyway. Being at the helm at the firm was going to consume all of her time and attention for the next few months. Hawk needed her to get him onto a firm footing with clients. Finn needed her to help him keep the ballet choreographed with the contractors.

What was the big deal spending Thanksgiving
without
Ben? Last year she cooked dinner in his condo and invited a table full of friends and Ben didn’t even show up. He had to fly to Toronto. This was just the beginning of her life with Ben. She had to face the fact that he’d be absent for many events. She had been forewarned, but somehow imagined
her
relationship would be different, that their strong love immunized them.
But she was now facing the reality that Ben was married to his profession, and that came first.

“Well, then, I think the subject is closed. I won’t ask again.” She examined his handsome face now filled with angst. She was painfully aware that this conversation had not been easy for him. His occupation was not usually a subject of discussion. She knew he put his work away in a box, as he said, when he was with her living his so-called normal life. Knowing she put him through such torment gave her a pang of sympathy for him.

The man sitting before her was selfless, so much so he ignored his own personal safety and gave up his own comforts and desires. Her eyes searched his and she touched his hand.

“I get it, Ben, and I love you. No, it’s
more
than love. I admire and respect you. I’m sorry I’m so selfish. I want you for myself. And I miss you terribly when you are gone. Since we met, it’s like I can’t breathe without you.”