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“How about you find that sailboat?” the psychiatrist continued, and she could almost see him in her mind, fiddling with the mole on his chin. “Just put all your worries and concerns from Advanced inside it, then send it over the horizon.”

“Okay.” Fixing on the sailboat in her head, Nellie began picking up rocks and firing them for all she was worth.

“Have you put all your concerns into the boat?” As usual, Westcott sounded amused.

“Yes,” said Nellie, watching the sailboat keel onto its side.

“Great,” said the psychiatrist. “Wonderful,
marvelous
. Now take the boat and send it over the horizon. Have you done that?”

“Yup.” Grimly Nellie watched the sailboat sink without a trace.

“And it’s gone now?” asked Westcott.

“Yes, it’s gone,” said Nellie, a sudden incomprehensible ache undulating through her.

“Good,” Westcott said calmly. “Now, Nellie, let me ask you some silly nonsense questions just to keep my paycheck coming in.”

With a sick feeling, Nellie pressed her finger against the surface of the Relaxer’s right arm, but there wasn’t the slightest curve or angle to resist her finger — nothing, nothing at all.

Ten

N
ELLIE WOKE,
surfacing out of yet another dream of running through dark twisting tunnels and endless galaxies of stars. About her the bedroom was quiet, the barricade a hunched black outline, Tana breathing deep in sleep beyond it and the security alarm beeping faintly overhead. Turning over, Nellie saw the monitoring screen was on, glowing with images of galaxies flung across deep space. Incredulous, she gaped at it. Why in the Goddess’s name would it be broadcasting images to a sleeping audience?

Abruptly Col. Jolsen’s face appeared, superimposed over a plethora of stars, and the shrill blast of a whistle sounded. “Attention all cadets,” he barked. “This is a High Star drill. Observe codes eight, seventeen, twenty-three and fourteen. You are expected in the Common Room in ten minutes.”

He disappeared, leaving distant pinpricks of starlight glimmering on the screen. In a surge of excitement, Nellie threw aside her bedding. High Star meant top secret, no questions asked. The four codes Col. Jolsen had listed meant “don’t talk,” “function in the dark,” “get dressed” and “form a line,” respectively. Slipping out of
her nightshirt, she pulled on her bodysuit and shoes and headed for the doorway, passing Tana who was standing at her dresser tying her hair into a ponytail. As she emerged into the corridor, Nellie came to an abrupt halt, her mouth opening in astonishment. Along the full length of the hall, both walls were glowing with the same galaxies as her bedroom monitoring screen. What a rush — she hadn’t known these walls could double as projector screens.

Briefly she stood staring at the constellations gleaming along the corridor. Each star was the soul of someone the Goddess had loved enough to take to live with Her in eternal ecstasy. What would it be like to live in constant joy, far from pain and sadness and the misery of living in a human body?

Coming through the doorway behind her, Tana gave her a shove. About to shove back, Nellie remembered code fourteen and filed the grievance for later payback. Up and down the corridor, girls were emerging from their rooms and standing about, staring at the walls. Pointedly, Tana took up position in the middle of the hall, and the rest of the girls fell into place behind her. In her usual position second to Tana, Nellie marched silently along the passageway with the others, footsteps in sync, her eyes fixed on her roommate’s bobbing ponytail. When the line turned into the main dorm hallway and met up with the rest of the girls, she found its walls glowing with the constellations of the nine castes. Passing the Cat, Nellie made the sign of obeisance and continued on, flushed with exhilaration. The stars were with them, the Goddess had seen fit to bless cadets from every caste in this endeavor. Whatever was coming, luck was with them all. There would be no pejoratives, pain or shame to anyone. Blessed be the Goddess’s holy name!

Beyond the crisp tread of the cadets’ feet and the faint beeping of the security alarms lay a dense quiet, the dim corridors sunk into a deep, middle-of-the-night dream. Turning out of the dorm, the girls passed several offices, then proceeded toward the area reserved for classrooms. Each hallway they entered glowed with
stars and resonated faintly with the beeping of overhead alarms. As they approached a fork in the corridor outside the cafeteria, they were joined by a line of cadets coming from the guys’ dorm. Grins plastered across their faces, the boys merged with the end of the girls’ line, and the entire group turned into the hall that led to the Common Room. About a third of the way down the line, Nellie could see the double doors to the Common Room standing open, the lead cadet turning in through them. No sound came from the room, and a quick probe with her mind told her only that various instructors were present and the chairs had been stacked and pushed to one side. Upon entering, she saw all four walls glowing with far-flung stars and planets, her instructors outlined in stark relief against them. Unsure what to do next, the line of cadets began to buckle. Wordless, they milled about, not yet released from their code of silence. Someone whispered and was instantly shushed.

Without warning the stars glowing along the walls took on startling vivid colors. A shrill sound filled the room as if the stars were singing, and they began to spin and whirl randomly. Then a wall that contained a huge image of the Twin Moons split down the middle. Nellie gasped as she saw it slide slowly apart. She hadn’t known this wall could divide. How many times had she sprawled against it during movie nights and never noticed a crack or seam? As she stood watching the two moons slide to opposite sides of the room, she felt as if her brain was splitting in two. Suddenly the gap left by the dividing wall exploded into light. Nellie blinked, her eyes smarting at the brightness. Squinting, she thought she could make out a large brilliantly lit room beyond the gap.

“Code fourteen,” called Col. Jolsen from a corner of the room. “Ride the light, cadets. Ride the light.”

Repeating the phrase, he began to clap his hands, and the cadets took up the refrain as they reformed their line. An instructor tapped the lead girl on the shoulder and pointed toward the brightly lit opening in the wall. Immediately she moved toward the gap, her
body a dark outline stepping into light. Close to the front of the line, Nellie kept her eyes on the cadets preceding her through the opening. “Ride the light, ride the light,” she chanted with the others, and then the cadet ahead of her was stepping into the gap and it was her turn.

“Ride the light,” she whispered, touching the tiny blue cat on the inside of her left wrist.

She came through into a room luminescent with white. Not the off-white of the Detta complex, a smeared, uncertain, brownish kind of white, but a radiance that made the place appear lit from within. Cupboards and medical equipment lined the walls and odd-looking machinery stood in the corners. Against the far wall loomed a floor-to-ceiling statue of the Goddess. Several men in white lab coats were bustling about, but what immediately drew Nellie’s eyes was a row of cubicles that stood in the middle of the room. Peaked in a dome of tinted plastic, each rose to the height of her chest and was the length of an average adult body. The cubicles had been grouped into two sections of five, with a gap of several feet between the central ones which had been placed end to end. It was toward this opening that the lead cadet was now walking. Behind her, the group continued to chant, “Ride the light, ride the light.”

Reaching the opening, the lead cadet paused, and the line came to a halt. At a standstill beside one of the cubicles, Nellie gave it a curious glance and saw a child lying beneath the tinted dome. Perhaps four years old, the boy appeared to be drugged or asleep, and was wearing a helmet similar to the one she’d worn in the Relaxer. Otherwise, he was naked. Tubes and a tangle of wires ran in and out of various places in his skin. Horrified, Nellie’s eyes darted to the other cubicles, but the tinted domes hid their occupants from casual observation. She turned back to the boy, a sick feeling rushing her legs. It was obvious tonight’s events had something to do with the experiments going on in K Block, only this
time they weren’t just using the kids in the cubicles, they were using Advanced cadets. All of them.

But the Goddess brought us here
, Nellie thought wildly.
And the stars approved
.

Panicking, she glanced around the room, seeking Col. Jolsen or Lt. Neem. Instead she saw two lab-coated men, the first seated at a computer on the other side of the cubicles and the second standing just beyond the gap between the central cubicles, holding a small device. Deep within Nellie’s mind something shifted, and she slitted her eyes at the handheld device. It looked familiar, like a TV remote control.

“Greetings, my child,” the man with the device said to the lead girl as she paused before the gap. “Are you ready to ride the light?”

The girl hesitated, one breath there and gone. Then her eyes fixed on the statue of the Goddess at the far end of the room. In a clear voice she said, “Yes.”

“Step forward,” said the man.

The girl stepped into the gap.

“Fire one,” said the man. Pointing the device at the girl, he pressed a button. At the same moment the man at the computer flicked a switch. A quiet click sounded from the computer and a wave of energy coursed through the room, so intense it lifted the hairs on the back of Nellie’s neck. Abruptly the room was consumed in heat, her eyes blurring with sweat. Straining to see, she squinted at the gap, but it was empty, the lead girl no longer there. Already a second girl was stepping into the opening. “Ride the light, ride the light,” chanted the rest of the cadets, their eyes fixed on the statue of the Goddess.

“Are you ready to ride the light?” the man with the device asked again.

“I’m ready,” said the second girl.

“Fire two,” said the man and pointed the device at her. Again Nellie heard the computer’s quiet click and felt heat surge through
the room. Then, as she stared, the second girl disappeared. Acid sweat poured down Nellie’s face and her knees wobbled dangerously. Forcing herself to get a grip, she began scanning the room’s vibrations for whatever she could pick up, but panic pushed her mind past its usual barriers and the room dissolved into a landscape of energy. Instantly the cadets and lab-coated men were transformed into figures of multicolored light, and the domed cubicles were lit from within by the children trapped inside. Against the far wall the statue of the Goddess loomed, a thick gray blob.

“Fire three,” said the now burgundy-and-navy blue figure of the man with the handheld device, and the computer emitted another quiet click. Then, to Nellie’s utter astonishment, a wave of prismatic light burst out of the two central cubicles and converged upon the cadet standing between them. Simultaneously, a beam of bluish white light shot from the device in the man’s hand toward the girl’s forehead. Instantly her vibrations quickened, changing from indigo and orange to bluish white. She disappeared.

“Ride the light,” chanted the line of cadets. Lost in the pulsing landscape of energy that surrounded her, Nellie didn’t notice the group had taken a step forward, and she received a shove from the cadet behind her. Immediately the landscape of energy disappeared and she found herself once again standing in solid reality. Her eyes darted to the nearest cubicle. What was happening to the kids in those machines? The wave of energy that had lifted from the cubicles seemed to be coming from their bodies. Were they alive, or was that energy the last bit of their souls leaving their bodies?

She was now standing four feet back from the gap, beside one of the two central cubicles. Giving it a quick glance, she felt her knees waver under a new deluge of shock. The girl in the cubicle was familiar, about twelve or thirteen, with long black hair. Racking her brains, Nellie ran her eyes frantically over the naked body. Where did she know this girl from? Why could she
feel
the grin hidden within that expressionless slack-jawed face?

Then she saw the stub at the girl’s left wrist.
Lierin
. The name came to Nellie just as another click sounded from the computer. Before her eyes, the girl’s naked body lifted slightly and convulsed. Once again terror pushed Nellie’s mind past its usual barriers, solid reality dissolved, and she saw a wave of iridescent energy rise directly from the girl lying in the cubicle and flow toward the cadet standing in the gap. The cadet’s vibrations quickened to bluish white and she disappeared.

The room returned to solid form, and Nellie stared at the girl in the cubicle.
Lierin.
She was certain she’d never heard the name and yet she seemed to know it like her own breath.

“Fire seven,” said the man holding the device. As the computer gave another quiet click, a surge of fear hit Nellie, dissolving solid reality yet again, and she watched a wave of light lift from the girl in the cubicle.

“Are you ready to ride the light?” came the inevitable command.

Two feet from the man standing beyond the gap, Nellie froze, but a sharp shove from behind sent her stumbling forward. “Are you ready—?” the man began to repeat, lifting the handheld device. As the computer’s quiet click sounded, Nellie turned helplessly toward the cubicle with the black-haired girl.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know, I’m sor —”

A wave of brilliant energy hit her from both sides, a rush of vibrations that passed violently into her skin. And in that moment she knew absolutely who Lierin was, knew every second of the girl’s life just as she knew every thought, word and deed of the seven-year-old boy lying in the cubicle on her other side. Then the man holding the device pressed a button, and a beam of bluish white light leapt at her forehead. The beam surrounded and penetrated her body, and Nellie felt her vibrations quicken into a high-singing choir of sound as Lierin, the line of softly chanting cadets, and the horror of the high white room faded out around her.