Fix You (19 page)
“I mean you’re not twelve anymore. You’re not even fifteen. You’re a grown woman, with all the relevant…attributes. You must be aware every guy at the party tonight fantasised about seeing you naked at some point.”
“Rusty!” Her cheeks grew hot. Inside, however, she glowed at the thought that he saw her as an adult and not only as Dan’s younger sibling.
He laughed. “Faith, honestly. Are you that naive?”
She looked down at her hands.
Yes
, she thought,
I am that naive
. In spite of the fact that she advised women more than twice her age on her blog, and she wasn’t a virgin, she knew she was more innocent than most girls in their twenties. She was the youngest of their crowd, and she’d thought they’d always seen her as the baby. She’d never considered they saw her as a sexual possibility, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it.
She shifted in her seat. “I don’t understand. Why say this now? That night we kissed at my eighteenth birthday party… The next day you cold-shouldered me. I’d assumed you weren’t interested in me.”
She hadn’t mentioned it since it happened. It had surprised her at the time. It had been six months before the death of her and Dan’s parents. Blissfully unaware of what the following year was to bring, she’d been dancing in the garden, and Rusty had caught her hand and dragged her with him into the lemon trees. She’d gone laughingly, the sound of cicadas loud in her ears and the scent of lemons and mandarins in the air, expecting a quick peck or a teasing grope from an old friend to mark her coming of age, which she knew she’d be expected to resist with feigned indignation. Instead, however, he’d cupped her face in his hands, studied her for a moment and then kissed her. He’d brushed his tongue with hers and slipped his hand through her hair, making her heart thunder with unexpected passion. She’d gone to bed excited and dreaming of him, but the next day he’d been his usual self, cool and offhand. She’d felt hurt and a little stupid for being childish enough to think it meant something, but had done her best to forget it ever happened, wanting to keep his friendship, even if she couldn’t have anything more.
“Do you remember what I looked like the next morning?” he said.
“I don’t…oh wait, you had a black eye, didn’t you? You said you walked into a lamppost on the way home.”
“It wasn’t a lamppost—it was Dan’s fist.”
Her eyes widened. “You’re kidding me.”
“No. He saw us. And he knocked me flat into a pile of gorse. Fucking stung, I can tell you.”
She laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh Rusty, I’m sorry.”
He grinned. “No worries. I backed off after that. I didn’t want to lose his friendship, and I realised he was right. I’m no good for you, Faith. Hell, I’m no good for any woman. I’ll never make a great husband. I’m under no illusions about that.”
She frowned again. “I hate it when you talk like that.”
“Well, it’s true.”
“No, it’s not. Just because your dad’s a prick doesn’t mean you’ll be the same.”
He shrugged. “It’s in the blood, and I’m not going to give it a chance to rear its ugly head.”
“Rusty…”
“Look.” He shifted in his seat. “This isn’t about me—it’s about you. I may be useless long term, but I’m not bad in bed.”
“I think you’re underestimating yourself, from what I’ve heard.”
“Well, that’s very kind.” He gave her a sexy smile. “Don’t you think it would be fun to practise your seven sins on me?” His green eyes were hot and lusty.
A strange shiver ran through her from her toes to the top of her head. They studied each other for a while. A smile crept onto her lips at the teasing look in his eyes. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re imagining doing each of the sins to me.”
“I am.”
“Well stop.” Her cheeks burned again. “This is crazy. I’d be mad to agree.”
“Why? I thought we were friends.”
“That’s what I meant.” She frowned. He was so gorgeous. She didn’t have any trouble admitting that. And she was happy to admit this wasn’t the first time she’d wondered what he was like in bed. His girlfriends had always enthused about his talents, even after he’d dumped them, and she’d been curious from a very young age as to what he got up to under the covers. But she’d always considered Dan’s friends to be off limits because he’d been so adamant that was the case, so she’d never considered any of them seriously. And because of that, they’d all grown to be close friends.
He reached out and took her hand. “Don’t look sad.”
“I couldn’t bear to lose you.”
“Lose me? Why would you lose me?”
“Afterward. Wouldn’t it be weird?”
He shrugged. “Toby and Eve dated before she went out with Dan.”
“True, although that was several years ago.”
He studied her for a moment. He brushed her knuckles with his thumb. The gesture wasn’t sexual, but it made a frisson of desire run through her, and she realised that she
was
attracted to him, very much. He tipped his head, and she saw his gaze rest on her lips. “You know it was only a matter of time.”
“What?”
“Before we got down and dirty.”
Her eyes widened, and her heart thumped. Suddenly she realised Rusty wasn’t helping her out of the kindness of his heart. He really wanted to go to bed with her. Rusty Thorne, who, let’s face it, knew his way around the bedroom and could teach her a trick or two. The thought made her dizzy.
Then her brain kicked in.
This is a bad idea
. How many girls’ hearts had he broken over the years? She knew what he was like, how he refused to commit.
But he wasn’t talking about a long-term relationship, was he? He was talking about a finite agreement, seven sexual encounters. A tutor in the ways of love, to teach her all the things she’d never experienced. As a professional educator, Rusty saw it as his duty to instruct those less knowledgeable than him.
She licked her lips. “I’d want a contract.”
His lips curved. “A contract?”
“Specifying it would be for seven times only.”
“Of course.”
“Don’t make fun of me, Rusty.”
“I’m not.” But his eyes were amused.
“This is all about research. I’d have to take notes.”
He gave a short laugh, but nodded. “Okay.”
“I mean it. I’d run the show. My work’s important to me. I’d want to get it right. If we did this, it would be for exploring these seven sins with the aim of writing the articles. No messing around, no getting sidetracked.”
“I understand.”
She looked at his mouth. She could still remember how soft his lips had been that night he’d kissed her. “Strictly business.”
“Absolutely.” He met her gaze. “Can I kiss you now?”
Her heart pounded. “Absolutely not. I haven’t finished yet.”
“Okay.”
“The contract will state that this remains secret. No telling any of our friends and definitely no telling Dan.”
“Well, obviously. I’d like to keep my balls intact.”
She bit her lip, trying not to smile. She was serious about this. “And if we did go ahead with it, we couldn’t go to your place or mine. A motel, out of town.”
“Sure. Sounds fun.” In the darkness of the car, his green eyes were the colour of a forest stream, wild and mysterious.
A thrill of excitement ran through her. Was she really considering this? Having sex with Rusty? Carrying out each of the seven sins with him? Watching porn, letting him lick chocolate sauce off her, letting him…oh dear Lord…perform oral sex on her? She couldn’t. Could she? She swallowed. “Why did you say ‘it’s only a matter of time’?”
He shifted in his seat, moving closer to her. “Because I’ve been waiting for it to happen. Haven’t you?”
“No,” she whispered.
He smiled. “Liar.” He was inches away from her now. “I’ve wanted you since you were eighteen.” He leaned forward and brushed her temple with his lips. “Actually, longer than that. Only I don’t want to sound like a pervert.”
“Rusty…”
“I’m going to kiss you now.”
She wanted to refuse but found she couldn’t. His arm was along the back of her seat, tanned and muscled, sprinkled with reddish-brown hairs, his bare chest inches from her fingers. Why hadn’t she noticed before how tall he was, how broad his shoulders were? “No tongues,” she warned him, heart thumping. “Not till the contract’s signed.”
Fix You
Mari Carr
What if love can’t heal all wounds?
Second Chances, Book 1
After too many years of secretly loving her best friend, Zoey realizes she’s been shortchanging herself. It’s time to take action. This New Year’s Eve heralds the year she’s going to tell Rob the truth. Even if he is on the road, reaching for musical stardom with his band.
Her plan is derailed when she discovers a lump in her breast—and it’s
not
“nothing to worry about”. How can she ask Rob to take a chance on love when her future is so uncertain?
Rob has spent his entire life chasing his dream, but the moment he hears Zoey’s voice on the phone, he realizes he’s been running the wrong race. Zoey never sounds like she’s been crying. Ever. Without a second thought, he books a flight for home, determined to give her everything she needs. A shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold…and nights of intensely emotional, passionate sex.
His biggest challenge, though, is convincing his best friend that he’s in it for the long haul. Because he finally knows what he wants, and it’s not fame and fortune. It’s her—and her love.
Warning: This book runs the emotional gamut between scorching-hot passion and the pain and fear associated with cancer. Keep a box of tissues next to your glass of ice water.
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This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Samhain Publishing, Ltd.
11821 Mason Montgomery Road Suite 4B
Cincinnati OH 45249
Fix You
Copyright © 2012 by Mari Carr
ISBN: 978-1-61921-320-3
Edited by Imogen Howson
Cover by Kanaxa
All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
First
Samhain Publishing, Ltd.
electronic publication: December 2012