F
EBRUARY 14
Commenced with strong winds and heavy rain from the NE. At 4 ditto. Put out the lamps at 6.53am. At 8 very unsettled weatherâa dark threatening appearance. Mr Sam away overnight, searching for the remains of other passengers of the
Loch Awe
.
Last night an horrific event befell our small community. As Miss Wilton walked to the light station to deliver my supper, the hillside fell away in a mudslide, exposing her father's grave and his tragic remains. Fortuitously, two men came to her aidâstrangers who stated they were survivors of a wreck and begged for sustenance. They have been living on raw eggs, grass and, judging by the stinking carcasses strung around their necks, the flesh of any seabirds they could snare.
After we covered Captain Wilton's body with a tarpaulin, I invited the men to my cottage. They gave their names as Ewing and Pierson and stated they had been walking through the scrub for weeks, following the coastline in search of a settlement. I gave them food, clothing and blankets and bid them sleep on the back verandah.
I look at Pip, stunned. âIt'sâ¦it has to be herâ¦Miss Wilton and the penguin men. It's unbelievable. Exactly as I saw itâas I dreamed it. But how?'
âMaybe the question isn't how, but why?' She peers up into the tower, frowning. âWhat has happened here that keeps theseâ¦memories so close that we can still feel them? And what is it about you, Dan? Why do you feel it more than us?' Now she's looking straight at me.
âActually, that's four questionsâ¦'
Pip scowls.
It's clearly not the moment for being a smartarse.
I sigh. Hang my head. âSorry. I've been asking myself “why me?” ever since I got here. I don't think I'm psychic or anything. Bit of a dreamer, maybe. Probably more of a cynic than anything else. That's what's got me spooked. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before.'
I adjust my bum on the stairs and lean closer to her. âYou know the time you and Mel woke me upâ¦two days ago?'
Pip nods, waiting like a seagull beside a picnic table.
âThat day Iâ¦I took way too many painkillers.'
Her eyes widen.
I speak faster. âNo, I didn't want to end it or anything. Just wipe outâ¦and not dream. But while I was out of it, I dreamed anyway, about the captain dying. And then last night I saw Lily and those men. It's like I've plugged into something here. Andâ¦I wish it would stop.'
I'm hoping Pip didn't hear my voice waver. My hands are trembling. I need to keep them busy so she doesn't see. I close the log, shifting it to the step behind us.
Pip leans in and puts her hands on my knee.
I flinchâin a good way. All this honesty is exhausting but also a turn-on; I don't think I've ever felt so close to a girl. I've no idea if she feels the same way, though. Not a clue. Actually, I'm afraid she's more interested in some let's-be-friends Vulcan mind-meld than anything else. I wish I knewâ¦
âDan,' she beginsâ¦
About forty things I'd like her to say roll through my mind like a TV news ticker.
âDan, I don't know why this is happening. I do know I likeâ¦you trusting me enough to talk about it. And I'd hate for anything to happen to you.'
I think she's blushing but can't be sure. I can't look her in the face
â
she'll see right through me and not like what she sees.
My confidence has evaporated. It felt like a moment to take action, seize the day, do something, but now I'm scared. I've no idea how Pip might react. I can't face crashing and burning if she only wants to be mates⦠and can't risk her telling Mel.
So, in true Dan fashion, I do nothing and regret it instantly.
âThe séance message was “Beware dead penguins,”' I mumble. âIt doesn't make sense. What's so scary about a couple of blokes begging for food? Maybe there's more in the logâ¦'
Fumbling, I grab the book and drag it back onto our knees.
B: DISCHARGING DANGEROUS CARGO
F
EBRUARY 15
Squally unsettled weather with mist and rain. Winds varying from the WNW to SW.
Distressed to record that we have been robbed. The men who took advantage of our hospitality last night fled this morning, taking with them oilskins, knives, larder supplies and one of our horses. They were seated at my table devouring breakfast when Mr Sam entered the room. On seeing them, he immediately asked for a private audience with me. Mr Sam then informed me that when the
Loch Awe
foundered, these men had commandeered the lifeboat and disembarked without taking the women and children or any other passengers on board. Mr Sam did his utmost to hold on to the lifeboat, beseeching the men to remain and assist their fellow passengers. They broke his grasp by bludgeoning his hands with the oars.
He told me they were foul murderers who ought to be tried in a court of lawâhe had refrained from telling their tale because he believed them to have perished at sea and did not wish to speak ill of the dead.
When we returned from the drawing room, the men had decamped. We gave chase and Mr Sam intercepted them at the stable where they held Miss Wilton with a knife to her throat. They released her only once they were ready to mount one of our horsesâone beast between them as the mare has fallen lame.
I had to restrain Mr Sam from pursuing them on foot. He is not yet fully restored and tires quickly. Sadly we cannot spare men to search the scrub for them.
I have signalled for assistance and written a letter to the authorities at Donington, appraising them of the cowardly thieves approaching. We will endeavour to signal the next passing vessel to carry the news, but visibility remains poor.
At noon we interred Captain Wilton's body at our small cemetery at Nolan's Return. Mr Sutton assures me the soil is sufficiently deep here to ensure he will not be exposed by the elements again. We must not have a repeat of the spectre that confronted Miss Lily.
Construction of the horse-drawn flying fox at the Return is almost complete. This will greatly enhance our capacity to unload supplies, though the need for a replacement beast remains acuteâ¦
F
EBRUARY 27
Commenced with dark gloomy weather with frequent showers of rain from the NW. At 4 squally. At 6 ditto. Extinguished light at 8.
Mr Sam is almost back to full health but cannot rest at the thought of Ewing and Pierson remaining at liberty. We signalled to a barque sailing west but they did not acknowledge our message. I have told Mr Sam we will send word of the thieves on the supply schooner
Yatala
but he is determined not to wait.
F
EBRUARY 28
Commenced with fresh breeze SW by W, drizzling rain and dark gloomy weather. From 4 till 9 moderate breeze at SSW & passing showers of rain. From 9 till noon ditto breeze, misty & overcast.
I could not persuade Mr Sam to delay his pursuit any longer. The mare remains lame so he departed on foot, headed NE to Donington. Miss Lily bade him a tearful farewell, walking with him as far as the cemetery. He promised to return to the Cape with news of his endeavours. I will write to the Board, commending his diligence and seeking to employ him as an underkeeper, as we could use the extra handsâ¦
M
ARCH 4
Commenced with strong winds from the NNE with frequent showers of rain. At noon, a ship to the WSW.
Miss Lily appears extremely lonely with Mr Sam gone and often lingers at the lighthouse for companionship in the evenings. Mrs Bellows complained to me directly that it is not appropriate that a young woman spend so much time alone with the male keepers. I laughed and assured her that Miss Lily made the long shifts more bearable. Mrs Bellows stated, âThat, Captain, is precisely what I am concerned about'â¦
M
ARCH 19
Commenced with light breeze at NE. Misty till 2. From 2 till 4 wind ENE with passing showers. From 4 till 10, ditto wind. At 11, a vessel came in sight bearing NE, distance 12 miles bound out.
At 2pm the
Yatala
arrived. There is no word from Mr Sam. I have sent letters to the Marine Board and the authorities at Donington and made a request for a second horse. Mrs Bellows received a large package that has put her in an unusually high-spirited mood.
Second and third keepers employed in bringing up oil from the Returnâ24 gallons. In the process of bringing up the oil the barrow slipped off a stone, capsized the oil tins and burst one. (Wasted 5 qrts of oil.âCpt SL)
M
ARCH 20
Commenced with moderate breeze at ENE with clear blue sky till noon. Very warm.
I have deduced Mrs Bellows' package must have been a new hat and gown as she is wearing these today, despite the temperature and their excessive grandeur in these remote surroundingsâ¦
A
PRIL 5
Commenced with moderate breeze SW by W. From 8 till noon, light breezes and overcast.
The mare is no longer lame. Miss Lily proposed riding to Donington to seek news of Mr Sam. I said we could not spare the horse and the journey was too hazardous for her to undertake alone. We pray that the
Yatala
's next visit brings confirmation Mr Sam is safe and the miscreants he pursued are in custody.
Mrs Bellows continues to parade herself daily in her new outfit. She appears so incongruous in this environment it is almost amusing. However, I sense she deliberately seeks to differentiate herself from the more plainly clad Mrs Sutton and Miss Lily. I fear this provocative campaign may damage moraleâ¦
A
PRIL 9
Commenced with strong wind at WNW, dark and gloomy with passing showers. From 4, steady rain and wind gusts at WNW.
With heavy rains restricting us from outside toils for the past three days, I overheard Miss Lily express sympathy to Mrs Sutton about how hard it must be to entertain the children indoors. Mrs Sutton replied, âFor all I care it can rain for a month so long as I do not lay eyes on that ridiculous frock'â¦
A
PRIL 15
Commenced with steady moderate breeze at SE by E and cloudy till 8. From 8 till noon calm and clear.
At 10, the
Yatala
arrived. Making my way to Nolan's Return I was surprised to hear laughter and indignant screams penetrate the scrub. The mare was tethered, rendering the flying fox stationary, with an irate Mrs Bellows suspended in midair halfway between the jetty and the storerooms. She had apparently been there for some time. When I asked who was responsible for this, Mrs Sutton replied that it was very much Mrs Bellows' own doing. I took this to mean that she was being punished for her contemptuous attitude towards the other women. Mr Bellows was on duty at the light and did not witness this incident. No word from Mr Sam, the Marine Board or Doningtonâ¦
A
PRIL 18
Commenced with moderate breezes at ENE with clear blue sky till 4. From 4 till 6 ditto breeze with a heavy dew falling.
We are all on tenterhooks. The youngest of the Sutton children, Robert, has taken ill with dreadful fever. Raised the signal for medical assistance but he is failing fastâ¦
A
PRIL 21
Commenced with heavy mist and passing showers until 5. Moderate breeze at SSW and overcast from 6 to 10.
Our signals have been to no avail. Robert Sutton died at 7 this evening. God rest his soul.
A
PRIL 22
Commenced with steady fresh breeze SSW and cloudy till 8. From 8 till noon moderate breeze and passing showers.
We held a graveside service for young Robert Sutton at Nolan's Return. Mrs Bellows stood apart from the other women as Miss Lily attempted to comfort Mrs Sutton. I fear our community is splintering. Indeed, Mr Bellows needed urging to assist with digging the graveâ stating to me that it was a task for the third keeper. I replied that no father should dig his own child's grave when another able-bodied man is present. One of the other Sutton children, Maggie, is showing signs of fever.
Pip looks up, wide-eyed. âCan you imagine how awful that would have been? One child dead. Another sick. No chance of a doctor unless a passing ship responds to their signal. Even then it might not be safe to dock.'
âYeah,' I nod. âThey'd be gambling lives against the one they're trying to save.'
âIt must have been agony for the parents,' Pip says. âThey couldn't do much for their kids except wait.'
She really gets these people. Their lives feel so real when she describes it like that.
Pip's eyes are blazing now. âAnd, on top of worrying about their children, they have this other couple, living metres away, treating them like dirt. I mean, how did these people work together? How did they keep the light burning when they could hardly stand to be in the same room?'
âThe men probably pretended everything was cool,' I grin, âand just grunted at each other at the end of their shifts. Why talk when you don't need to?'
She snorts. âThat's the male solution, is it? Ignore a problem and hope it goes away.'