Firsts (4 page)

The sharp chimes of the doorbell interrupted her increasingly depressing thoughts, replacing concern with panic.

Oh Gawd ohgodohgodOHGOD!

Only one person would be here now. Allison never came over after school; she knew, as did their other friends, that weekday afternoons belonged to Wesley. They always had.

And she'd ignored him all day. All day.

“It's all right,” Savannah murmured to herself, shoulders hardening, a cool, stabilizing breath rushing through her lips. “It's Wesley. Best friend Wesley. We've done this a thousand times…

Okay, not so much the smoochies and the touchies and…but…”

Her feet practically floated across the carpet. The doorbell chimed again.

“He won't be mad. You wigged. He'll understand.”

Right. Yesterday she'd wanted him to sully her virtue. Now she felt burdened by the horror of being in love with him. Wesley—plain, platonic, best-friend-shaped Wesley—had become a man in her eyes. Her man. He'd comforted her through heartache, shared her laughter at pointless jokes, and stood at her side with her through every step, big or small, of her life since childhood.

She'd wanted to do the next big step with him. Simple as that…only she wasn't prepared for this.

She hadn't seen that the little boy who had once stolen all her Barbies had become a man, a man who could steal something much more valuable.

She wasn't ready.

God, why did I ever talk to Allison?

Savannah might have come to these realizations without her friend's help, but she would have much preferred having her epiphany well in the future. Or rather, anytime save the day after she'd talked him into having sex with her. Sex with her best friend plus mushy feelings would make her the last person in the world he'd ever want to hang around.

This. Totally. Sucked.

Better that you know, her mind advised. Right?

Savannah snorted inelegantly and shook her head.Yeah. In what universe?

The doorbell chirped again. He knew she was home; if she hadn't gone to his house, options seemed rather sparse, and at any rate, she couldn't hide in here forever. Therefore, drawing in a deep breath, she grasped the door handle, whispered a quick prayer, and prepared for the worst.

“Good.” Wesley greeted without preamble, pushing his way into the foyer and kicking the door closed before she even registered she had succeeded in opening it. The anger she'd expected was nowhere from sight; hurt and confusion remained strangers, exchanged for excitement and…nervousness? Nothing in his eyes suggested he'd even noticed the fact that she'd spent the day avoiding him.

Or the fact that she hadn't waited for him. As though meeting at her house had been their intention all along.

“Good?” Savannah echoed dumbly. “What's good?”

“You're here,” Wesley explained, an unfamiliar light brightening his eyes. “I've wanted to do this all day.”

And before she could blink, his hands had closed around her arms and his lips pressed hard on hers. Every molecule in her body froze…well,almost every molecule. God, no force great enough existed to prevent her from melting under his kiss. Savannah moaned hard, her eyes fluttering shut as her mind switched to autopilot, her lips parting on the cusp of a gasp.Oh yes .

This—this wrong, confusing, wonderful thing—would undo her. One simple touch and she felt completely lost. She would have sworn the ground shifted when his tongue whispered into her mouth.

Only the grounddid move. Wesley's coaxing hands pushed her back until her ankles hit the bottom stair, and only then did coherency break through the fog.

“Where are we going?” Savannah managed to whimper before he captured her with her another kiss. Oh never mind. As long as he kept doing that magic with his mouth, he could take her wherever he wanted.

Wesley pulled away just long enough to nod at the second floor. “Mmm. Your room.”

His lips closed on her too quickly for his words to break through the fog, and by the time she understood, he had coaxed her upward step-by-step. Upstairs.Oh God . That wasn't the plan. That wasn't anywhere near the plan. Well, okay, as far as the first plan went, this rolled right on track, but everything seemed different now. Hadn't she intended to blow the whistle on this whole insane thing?

Wesley. Sex. Naked. Touching her. Kissing her. Moving inside her.Oh God.

Oh God.

“My mom—”

“Won't be home for hours,” he countered, hands dropping to the hem of her T-shirt.

“Thought we'd wrangle in a little practice for the big night.”

“P-practice?” Savannah blinked dumbly, crashing hard against her bedroom door. Then he was kissing her again. Hot, desperate kisses betraying need she didn't understand and couldn't analyze with a head full of lust clouds. Logic screamed against her, but she couldn't push him away, not when her insides were sparking with fire she'd never before experienced. Not when her skin sizzled under the path his fingers took. Not with her pussy hot and drenched. Monsoon season approached. God, she'd never felt this wet. She hadn't thought she could get this wet.

“Oh…”

“Mhmm,” Wesley murmured, peppering kisses down her throat. “Occurred to me this afternoon.”

“This…afternoon?”

He chuckled. “You're too distracting, love. Couldn't think of anything but you all day.”

“I don't think this is necess—oh God.”

“Yeah, it is. First time for girlies pinches a bit. Thought we'd loosen you up.”

“Wes—”

“Shhh,” he whispered. “It's all right. You'll enjoy this.”

His lips smashed on hers again before she could offer another protest, his tongue massaging hers and his hands sparking magic across her skin. He murmured provocatively against her lips, and she couldn't stop. She didn't want to stop.

Good-bye, reservations.

Savannah's knees softened, the butterflies in her stomach twisting into a mixed metaphor.

“Wesley…”

“Thorn,” he reminded her. He reminded her every day, of course, but for whatever reason, she didn't feel like laughing today. Wesley had truly vanished, with Thorn firmly in his place.

Perhaps that was for the best. Wesley served as the name for the one she knew; Wesley was the one she loved. If she thought of him as someone else entirely, perhaps she could proceed without totally shattering.

When Savannah looked at him again, however, all hope vanished. Calling him Thorn didn't make his eyes any less Wesley's.

Something she intended to tell him once he stopped kissing her like that.

“Bit drafty out here, love,” he noted, managing to twist the doorknob behind her and catch her with his free arm in a move that made him seem entirely make-believe. Real men didn't appear that suave. Where hadthis Wesley hid all these years?

“We're…”

Wesley perked his brows. “On your back, woman,” he demanded, kissing her again.

“Didn't you…” She gasped, wrangling her lips from his. “Uhh…” He recaptured her before the thought could mature, his tongue performing illegal acts with hers until she managed to pull away again. “Notice anything…different today?”

“'Course I did,” he replied, whipping her shirt over her head. “Figured you were a bit skittish.”

Oh boy.Skittish didn't begin to describe it.

“And you're…uhh…not mad?” His hands cushioned her breasts.Wesley's hands cushioned her breasts . Her nipples stabbed his palms, only to find themselves prisoners of his fingers. She had never understood women who described pinching as a turn-on until that second, because— gah—every squeeze radioed electric shock waves to her clit.

Wesley smiled against her. “Not mad,” he whispered, slipping her bra straps down her shoulders. “But I did bloody tell you.”

She blinked dazedly. “Tell me?”

“Mhmm. Sex changes things.”

“But we haven't—”

“Yeah. I know. And it's already changed things.” Her bra band tightened before falling away completely. “It's all right, kitten. We'll be all right.”

The words didn't match his tone, but her mind wrapped around the pet name too quickly to give his attitude much mind.Kitten . If her heart wasn't putty before, she certainly stood no chance now. Wesley's hands framed her breasts again before anything else worked through the haze, his fingers kneading her now-naked flesh as his thumbs played with her nipples and his body guided her toward the bed. And when her legs hit the mattress, strength sapped from her entirely, and there seemed to be nowhere to go but back.

Full reality crashed without warning, shoving romance aside. There were things one couldn't truly understand until thrust into the moment; sex had never felt real to her. Not once. Not in health class, not in movies, not in gossiping the details with the few people she knew who'd already taken the plunge, not in dating Daniel, and not even yesterday when her ever-so-brilliant plan had forced her eyes open. But now, with Wesley's hot body above her, his denim-clad erection pressing hard against her pussy, his mouth ravaging, his hands roaming, sex had become very real.

“Wes…”

“It's all right,” he promised her softly, trailing kisses down her throat. “You'll like this, Savannah. I promise.”

“I'm—”

“You're trembling.” Wesley pulled back slightly and favored her with a rakish grin. “Did a number on you, didn't I?”

“What?”

He must have heard something she didn't in her voice, for his smile faded to a frown. “You know we don't have to do anything, don't you, love? If you've changed your mind since yesterday, just say the word.”

Her breath caught in her throat. She could back out now. She didn't have to search for an opportunity, didn't have to stop him; hehanded it to her on an ornate platter. She could tell him she had changed her mind. She could do the sane thing and call the whole thing off.

What happened next redefined Savannah's understanding of out-of-body experiences.

“No. No, I haven't changed my mind.”

Wesley's smile returned, his hand brushing stray strands of hair from her face. “All right,” he practically purred. “Now relax, kitten. I'm gonna make you feel so good.”

Reality had left the building. Savannah watched herself through colored lenses, chest crashing with unforgiving breaths, body trembling, blood burning, and every nerve primed with anticipation…though nothing could have prepared her for the tiny sparks that spread rampant at the first flick of his tongue against her earlobe. Every circuit in her body fired.Oh mama.

“Ohh…”

“Just getting started, love.”

“I like the ears.”

“Yeah.” His smile broadened. “Thought you might.”

A rain cloud floated into her parade, no matter how small. “From Paige?” she whispered.

Stupid question, of course; he'd only had sex with one other girl. And even with Wesley's multiple assurances that he couldn't stand his ex, the fact remained there lived out there someone he'd already touched like this. Someone else who had felt what she felt now. Wesley might be Savannah's first, but she wasn't his.

It hadn't mattered to her twenty-four hours ago. Now it mattered alot.

As it was, Wesley evidently decided to ignore the question, which was likely healthier for everyone. Instead he peppered kisses down her throat, taking a breast in his left hand and pinching her nipple just as his tongue curled around the other areola. “You have such pretty titties,” he appraised softly. “Always thought so.”

Savannah blinked blearily. “A-always?”

“Well,” he clarified with a smirk, “what I've seen, at least. You chits do fancy wearing knickers when you go swimming—”

“It's a bikini!”

“And you get all…chilled…”

Savannah's jaw fell open. “You ogled my boobs?”

Wesley shrugged unapologetically. “I'm a healthy, red-blooded, heterosexual bloke,” he reasoned. “Can't help what I notice.”

The words made no sense. Wesley had noticed her before?Like that? He'd noticed her sexually? Well, perfect. He'd already given the thought of them hooking up some consideration, then, and he'd probably laughed it off just as she had so many times. He was good-looking, popular, and coveted by most of the school. He could have anyone he wanted.

And he hadn't wanted to do this. With her.

“Don't make a thing outta it,” he continued before swallowing her breast completely. There, yet another thing. Her boobs seemed so laughably small, he could fit one entirely in his mouth.

Paige had tits out the wazoo. And as he'd noted, he was ahealthy, red-blooded, heterosexual male, and those guys typically had the mind-set of “the bigger the better.”