First Time for Everything (17 page)

K
EVAY
G
RAY

I.

I
CAN
see the beauty in both girls and guys. I mean I’m a girl, so it’s sorta obvious I can see beauty in another girl. As for guys, it’s almost, like, expected that I find one and fall in love and marry one. The problem is, I like both. I mean, I’m attracted to both. I love the softness of a girl and the hardness of a guy. I want it all. My mom always said I was greedy. I guess this dilemma proves her point. It’s not entirely true, though. I mean, she’s pissed because her little white picket-fence dream for me is ruined, according to her.

It could be worse, though. At least she’s just hollering about the whole greedy issue rather than telling me she wants nothing to do with me. My mom has always been supportive of me. This, at times, makes the choices I make for myself hard. I always want to please her and make her happy. I have to draw the line somewhere, though. If I let her take my sexuality and put it in a nice little box with a bow, then I’m not being me.

Today is one of those lazy days. It’s Saturday morning, and I’m lying on my stomach in my pajamas in the bed, writing in my journal. I’m supposed to be getting together with Ezekiel and Frankie. Ezekiel, Frankie, and I have been friends since we were in diapers, and I think secretly that Ezekiel’s mom and my mom have been planning our wedding. Frankie is the girl I want to kiss. Ezekiel is the boy I want to kiss. I just haven’t gotten the courage to ask them.

Frankie is really Francesca Jenner. She just prefers to be called Frankie. She’s so cute, with dimples in her cheeks, black hair that curls perfectly at her shoulders, and the greenest eyes ever. Her skin? Whew! So smooth and creamy, with lips that have the cutest pucker to them. Then there’s Ezekiel Contreras. He’s the boy next door who could have any girl he wants, and yet he hangs with me and Frankie. We always mess with him and call him E.Z. He’s a tall guy who you’d think would play basketball, but nope, he likes sitting at the computer writing his stories. He has chocolate-colored eyes with the longest lashes that any girl would want. And his lips? Full, the kind you want to press yours to and keep them there for an eternity.

That’s my dilemma. I’m stuck between both of them. I don’t want either more than the other. It’s never been like that. What I want is to stand in the middle of them and, while I kiss one, the other holds my hand. Then I want to switch it up and kiss the other. It’s in no particular order either. I love them both equally.

I have to be real with myself. E.Z. and Frankie both know I’m what some would call undecided. They like to tease me a lot about that, that they know the true me. Undecided isn’t in my vocabulary. I know what I want. I want both. What they don’t know is that I want my first kiss to be with the both of them. I mean, technically the first one who kisses me is the first kiss, but when I say first kiss, it’s my first girl kiss and my first boy kiss.

“Emmie!” I hear my mother yell from downstairs.

“Yes, ma’am?” I say this quickly because I know if I don’t answer, she’ll get mad. Mom is a stickler for her children to be considered polite. It’s how I grew up, and it’s how I know I’d want my children to be, even though at times it kinda drives me nuts. I also know if I don’t answer right away, or she doesn’t hear me, she’ll yell out my entire name.

“Emerald Mae Platt!”

I sigh. She didn’t hear me. I jump off the bed, head out of my room, and down the stairs, taking two at a time until I’m standing in front of my mother, who’s sitting on the couch.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Why didn’t you answer the first time?”

I admire and respect my mother, but she’s a fusser. She’s on the couch with one of her favorite love stories, as she calls them. Her jet-black hair is still thick and only a little gray. She has a full figure but knows how to work the curves. Yep, my momma is a hottie. The thing about Mom is that we’re more friends at times than mother and daughter. I guess it’s because she had me so young, and she didn’t know how to be a mother.

“Sorry, Momma. I did answer. I guess you didn’t hear me.”

“Girl, at sixteen I would think you’d have supersonic hearing.” She giggled.

I laugh with her and flounce down on the couch next to her. She isn’t mad at me. She never truly is. Sometimes I want a mom more than a friend.

“So what are your plans for tonight? I know you have something you want to do with those two friends of yours.”

“Frankie and Ezekiel and I are supposed to head to the mall and watch a movie.”

“Sounds like fun. Anything in particular you three are going to see?”

This is where my mom is trying to be a mom. I grin.

“We want to go see
The Hobbit
.”

My mother makes a grunting sound and looks at me like I’m crazy.

“Isn’t it opening night?”

“Yes, ma’am, it is, but we like it like that. We like crazy.”

“Well, I called you down here to say breakfast is ready and in the microwave. I have to work tonight, so you know the drill. You need to be home at a decent time.”

“I know, Momma, I should be back at midnight and not a minute or two after.”

“Right, that’s my girl. Now go eat because I know your cell will be ringing like crazy in a few.”

I stand up, kiss my mom’s forehead, and go into the kitchen to grab my food. Opening up the small microwave, I grin as she’s made scrambled eggs and the maple sausage I love. My mother works hard. She actually is the reason I think I’m like I am. I mean, I’d had to grow up fast with her. I wasn’t the usual teen for the most part. I wasn’t even one of those kids mad at their dad for leaving. I figured he’d done the only thing he could do. My mom doesn’t talk about him much, and I don’t care. She’s done the best she can.

I settle down to eat and no sooner than my butt hits the seat, my cell rings.

“What did I tell you?” I hear my mom yell from the living room. She knows my friends. We’ve been inseparable since the moment we all met. I pick up the cell, and I grin.

“Hey, E.Z.”

“Hey, chica, are we still meeting today at the mall?”

“Yep, there is no way we’re gonna miss this movie.”

“So the plan is, I’ll meet you two at the mall in a little bit?”

“That’s the plan. Frankie will be here at any moment, knowing her. So, soon as you’re off work head to the mall.”

I hang up the phone and get back to breakfast. Frankie would be over any minute, knowing her. She hates to be late to anything. No sooner than I finish my food, there is a knock at the front door.

“Emmie!” Mom yells out. “It’s the door, and I know it’s for you! No one else would be here at this unearthly early hour but one of your friends.”

Chuckling, I put my plate and fork into the sink and head for the door. Opening it wide, I grin at Frankie.

“Come on in, girl.”

Frankie pulls me into the best hug ever, and I breathe her in. She’s like lavender and silk, and I want more. But I’m good, and I pull back as she does.

“Close the door, you’re letting all my flies out,” Mom says, and I roll my eyes. Such an old saying. She says it’s from my grandmother.

Closing the door behind Frankie, I take her hand and pull her into the living room so that she can speak to my mom, and then we can run upstairs to my room. It would never do to come into the house and not speak to my mom first.

Frankie pulls away and goes to my mom, giving her a hug as she bends over the couch.

“Hi, Mrs. Platt.”

“How many times do I have to correct you, Francesca?” Mom scolds. “No more Mrs.; it’s Ms.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right, sorry…. Mrs., I mean, Ms. Platt.”

I grab Frankie’s hand, and we run giggling up the stairs and finally into my room with a slam of the door. Once again, we hear my mother yelling something about not slamming doors in her house. We fall on the bed laughing.

I turn my head to look at Frankie. She’s beautiful. I want those laughing lips on mine. But how do you ask a friend you’ve known forever if she’ll let you kiss her? It isn’t an easy thing. Her eyes are sparkling with mirth and her lips so invitingly juicy and full. I close my eyes, and I dream about us moving together and our lips meeting in unison.

“What’s the sigh for, and why are your eyes closed?” Frankie says.

It is then that I realize Frankie has noticed I closed my eyes. I meet her gaze, and all I can do is stare for a moment. Her lip quivers, and it’s almost as if she wants to kiss me too. I think I am getting too far ahead of myself. The air seems thick, and finally she breaks the silence.

“Em?”

“I’m sorry, Frankie. I was daydreaming.”

“About?”

“Just things…. I’ll tell you later.”

“Ugh! Later?”

I laugh again. “Mhmm, later.”

“You’re wrong for that, Em.” Frankie huffs at me, then turns her head away. She’s looking up at my ceiling. I have stars and planets hanging from it. I like to think reaching for the stars is possible, so having them dangling like that makes me feel as if I can reach my goals.

“So you know what we gotta do, Em.”

I grin. I know what she’s going to say before she says it. “What’s that, Frankie?”

“We gotta wish upon a star. Make all our dreams come true.”

I wonder if she knows what I want to do with her, what I want to wish for. Would she even think that?

“Okay, so close your eyes, silly, and make your wish.”

I close my eyes and almost jump with surprise as Frankie grabs my hand. I turn my head slowly to look at her, and she has her head flat on the bed, and those beautiful green eyes are sealed shut, with those dark lashes brushing the tops of her cheeks.

She squeezes my hand. “Come on, I can feel you staring at me. Make your wish.”

I turn away and focus on anything but how good she feels lying next to me or thinking about her lips pressed to mine. The last thought isn’t going away; that’s because my wish is going to be a wish that our lips meet.

My most fondest wish is to kiss Frankie and E.Z.

II.

F
RANKIE
AND
I hop off the bus at the mall and go to the spot we always wait for E.Z. at if we get there before he does. We’re a few minutes early and excited about seeing the movie right along with having fun with him.

“Hey there, sexies.”

I chuckle and turn to look over my shoulder at Ezekiel, who has just walked up to us at the bench parked outside of Forever 21. Frankie snickers in response as E.Z. slaps us both on the back. His touch sends tingles down my spine, and I cover it by acting as if I’m searching for something in my purse. I’m sure he’s relieved we haven’t gone inside the store as we do sometimes. He always knows to check for us inside if we aren’t sitting on the bench or standing somewhere outside.

“Wow, you two aren’t inside the store.”

“Good thing for you ’cause I saw a T-shirt in there I was going to ask you to buy for me,” I say to him with a small smirk on my lips.

“Naw, I think it’s too bad for you that you weren’t in there. ’Cause you know I would have bought it for you.” He winks at me.

I laugh softly. It’s true. If either Frankie or I ask for something from him, he’ll usually buy it. That’s just how he is with us. He is such a sweet guy. Someone would be lucky to have him as their boyfriend.

Today he is wearing a pair of black jeans and a black T-shirt. He’s already changed out of the fast-food uniform he wears. It’s what he usually does, changing at work before meeting us, stating he’d rather wear his regular clothes instead of advertising extra for his job.

“Well, you know we have time to still go in there, but I’ll let you off the hook for now.”

Frankie laughs. “You’re getting away with a lot. I saw the T-shirt she wanted, and it wasn’t cheap.”

“We’ll get it now.” He grabs both our hands and pulls us into the store, and we both snicker and trail after him as he leads us to the junior clothing. One thing I love about E.Z. is, because he has three sisters, he’s really comfortable when it comes to shopping for anything girl. He has young sisters, but he says Frankie and I are practice for what he’ll do for his sisters at a later date.

I break free from his hand, though in truth I just want to hold on as long as I can. He has such a strong grip, and he makes me feel so comfortable and protected.

I go to the black T-shirt that has the big pink mustache across the chest, and Frankie is right. It isn’t cheap. Thirty dollars could be considered a bit steep in some circles. I pick up the shirt in my size after searching through the rack and grin, looking back at E.Z.

“Whatcha think?” I say to him as I hold it up to me.

“I think if you want it, get it.” He winks at me and I melt. Damn, he’s perfect. Full lips that I want to have a taste of. I want to lean over, in that moment, and kiss him. I can’t afford this shirt. My mom is on a limited income, and I need to deal with school. My mom won’t let me get a part-time job because she says school is important, she says I’ll thank her one day for just having me do school.

“It’s kinda pricey, E.Z. Are you sure?”

“Very sure. Now, if you want it, let’s go. We have only so much time before we have to go see the movie.” He turns to Frankie.

“Is there anything you need, Frankie?”

“Naw, E.Z. I’m cool…. My dad got me a shirt almost like it the other day. You just get it for our girl right here.”

Heat suffuses my face. I feel so hot when she calls me their girl. My God, does she know how badly I want to be that? I mean, of course I’d take baby steps. I’d wait to see if we all clicked, even to see where we would go with all this. All I want is a kiss, a special touch of the lips from my two most favorite people in this whole world.

“Why is your mouth open like a fish, chica?” Ezekiel asks with one of his brows raised.

“Oh.” It’s all I can think to say, as I don’t realize my mouth is hanging open like a fish. I grab Ezekiel’s hand with the one that’s holding the hanger and grab Frankie’s with the other.