First Love (28 page)

I drink the shot of whiskey I left on the counter. I put the glasses in the sink and put the bottle away. I pour two glasses of wine and go upstairs. I walk into the bathroom and Amber is in the tub crying. It breaks my heart to see her so upset and to know there is nothing I can do about it. I set the glasses down on the edge of the tub and quickly get undressed to join her. I slip into the warm water behind Amber and wrap her in my arms. I don't say a word. I just hold her tight and let her get it all out. I don't know what else to do. There is nothing I can say that will make any of this better for her. After a while, she starts to calm down.

"Princess, the water is pretty cold. How about we get out and have a glass of wine in bed?" I ask, still holding her tight. She just nods against my chest. I ease myself out from under her and dry off. I help her out and dry her from head to toe. I pick her up and carry her to bed. I hand Amber a glass of wine then crawl into bed next to her. We sit in silence for a long time. I don’t want to push her to talk if she isn’t ready. I assume she will talk to me about everything when she is ready, and I’m right.

"There are so many different things I am feeling at once, and it is confusing the hell out of me." I know her well enough to know she doesn’t want a response. She wants to get it all out. "I am angry that my grandparents kept this from me my whole life. That for twenty-three years my father has been right in front of me, and I didn't know it. Then, when they died I was left to think I had no family left. That I was all alone. Beasley was at the funeral. Why didn't he tell me then? There was nobody left to stop him." She looks over at me. Now she wants some answers. Shit. These aren’t questions I have answers to.

"Babe, as far as your grandparents go … they loved you more than anything else in this world. They thought keeping this from you would protect you somehow. You know in your heart that they would never do anything to intentionally hurt you." She nods her head. "As for Beasley, those are questions you need to ask him. I know it's not going to be easy, but I think it will be good for you. You have always loved him, and finding out that you do still have family is a good thing. At least you already know what kind of guy he is," I say to her, hoping I am not being too pushy. Beasley is a really good guy, and the both of them deserve to be happy.

"You're right. I'll call him in the morning and see if he will meet me at the bar for lunch."

"Why the bar? Wouldn't you rather be someplace more private?

"I think I will be more comfortable there with you, Holly, and Paul around for support." She smiles up at me. I'm glad she knows she has people who care about her that she can lean on when she needs it.

"Sounds good. It's been a long day, let's get some sleep," I say as I grab her glass and set it on the night stand next to mine. I flip off the lamp and pull her to me. She rests her head on my chest and I hold her tightly.

"I feel so safe and loved right here in your arms," she says as she places a kiss on my chest.

"I do love you. I love you more than you will ever know, and I would die to keep you safe, Princess." I kiss the top of her head as I feel her tears fall on my chest.

"I am so lucky to have you in my life."

"No, Princess, I am the lucky one. Now, let's get some sleep. Sweet dreams." She snuggles up as close as she can to me. Not that I am complaining. The closer I am to her, the better. It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep. I am glad she is getting some rest. Tonight was pretty stressful for her. Maybe after she talks to Beasley and gets some of the answers she is looking for, it will be easier for her. Honestly, Beasley being her father isn't what is keeping me awake. It's that son of a bitch Beau. That card attached to the flowers freaked me out just as badly as it did her. He intends to kill her if he gets to her. Beau has been able to stay hidden while still watching her. It's like I'm up against a fucking ghost.

I
WAKE
up before Kyle, and I just lie here, listening to him breathe. I didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as I love him. I know all of this mess has to be causing him a great deal of stress, as well. You could never tell by looking at him, though. Always strong and supportive. It's hard to believe in a couple weeks I will be marrying my Prince Charming. Just thinking about it makes me smile. That is what I am going to focus on. I can't change the past. I loved my grandparents, and they loved me. They thought keeping what happened to my parents a secret was protecting me. There was nothing malicious about it. They weren't trying to hurt me. And, Kyle was right about Beasley. He is a good guy. He wouldn't hurt me either. It's seems funny now, I always thought of him like an uncle. He went to every school play, recital, science fair, you name it. If it was something my grandparents were at, so was he. Now, I understand why. On the way home from Miami yesterday I was telling Holly and Paul that I was going to ask Beasley if he would walk me down the aisle. Now that couldn’t be more perfect.

I look over at the clock and see that it's almost ten. I grab my phone and send a text to Beasley.

Me:
Can you meet me at KC's at 11:30?

Beasley:
Of course. See you then.

I ease out of bed and get into the shower. As I am washing my hair, I try to decide whether or not I am nervous about my meeting with Beasley. I am a little but they aren’t bad nerves. How do I act around him now? Does he expect me to call him dad? I just am not sure what this changed and how. I am so deep in thought I never hear Kyle come into the bathroom.

"Morning beautiful," he says as he peers around the wall of the shower.

"Good morning to you, handsome," I say with a smile.

"I will make us some coffee and bring it back up while you get ready."

"Have I told you how wonderful you are lately?" I ask.

"Hmmm ... I 'm not sure, but I will never get tired of hearing it." He winks as he walks out.

When he comes back up with our coffee I am already blow-drying my hair. He puts the mugs on the counter and kisses my forehead. I love it when he does that. I watch him in the mirror as I continue to dry my hair. He has to be the sexiest man alive. I will never get tired of admiring him. When the sweat pants drop to the floor, my pulse quickens. I wonder if my body would have the same reactions to him if I didn’t know him. I hear him laugh and realize I have just been staring at him. Oh well, he’s mine and I can stare if I want to. So I smile at him and go back to my hair.

By the time Kyle and I pull up to KC's, my stomach is in knots. I am starting to think maybe this isn't such a good idea. As always, Kyle picks up on my anxiety and reaches for my hand.

"You’ll be fine. There's nothing to be nervous about. It's just Beasley. He hasn't changed and neither have you." He squeezes my hand before he gets out of the truck. He comes around to my side and opens my door. I turn to get out, but he stops me.

"Maybe this will help." He grabs my face and pulls me to his lips, kissing me like it could be our last. Yeah, that helps. When we walk in Holly is behind the bar. She yells at us and nods over to a booth in the back. Beasley is sitting there tearing a napkin to shreds. At least I am not the only one who is nervous. For some reason that makes me feel so much better. I kiss Kyle's cheek and head over to the booth.

As soon as I get a foot away, Beasley clumsily stands up from the booth until I am seated across from him.

"Hi," I say and give him a small smile.

"Hi. I'm glad you wanted to meet me. I thought maybe you wouldn't want anything to do with me ever again," he says, nervously. I just jump in head-first. I tell him I was upset at first. Then I realized things were kept from me out of love and not to intentionally hurt me. I tell him I remember him going to every school function and every birthday party. He smiles as if remembering those things makes him happy. I figure I should get some of my questions out of the way.

"Did you love my mother?" I ask him but almost wish I hadn’t when I see the look on his face. I'm not even sure how to describe it. It looks like a mixture of pain, sorrow, anger, and love all rolled up into one expression. It isn’t pleasant. He has tears in his eyes as he speaks.

"I did. Hell, I still do. She is the only woman I have ever loved. There will never be anyone who can fill the hole I have in my heart from losing her." He chokes on his words a little. Wow. It has been twenty-three years, and he is still in love with her. Is that what it would be like if I lost Kyle or he lost me? God, I hope neither of us ever has to find out.

"Why didn't you tell me all of this at my grandparent’s funeral? Why let me think I had no family, that I was all alone?" I ask him on the edge of my seat, waiting for an answer. This one is important. If he had told me, it could have changed so many things. For one, I would have known he was my father over a year ago. And two, I would have stayed here. That meant I would have been reunited with Kyle that much sooner.

"Amber, I am sorry I didn't tell you. You had just buried both of your grandparents. The two people you loved the most in this world … the ones who raised you. I didn't want to add to your grief or make you think any less of them. I swear, there is nothing I have wanted more than to tell you all these years. I just always thought it was better for you if I didn't, and the funeral just wasn't the right time." I can see the sincerity in his eyes.

"How does Beau know about my parents?

"When his parents died, he went to live with an aunt and uncle. His aunt was a nurse at the hospital where your mother was. It's the only explanation I can think of. I didn't want your grandparents’ or parents’ names to be tarnished, so my report said it was a carjacking gone wrong. Only a few people know the real story." We talk for a long time about everything and nothing. I tell him about my time in Atlanta and college. He asks some questions about the center. After a little while of chit-chat, I finally get the nerve to ask the big question I want to ask.

"There is one more thing I am wondering. It's kind of funny, really. I planned to ask you this before I knew you were my father. I was hoping… would you walk me down the aisle?" I ask nervously. He just sat there with his mouth hanging open. Oh no … he didn't want to do it. I never thought he wouldn't want to. No, wait that's not it, he's shocked and emotional. His eyes are filling with tears. Before I realize what he's doing, he's on my side of the booth, hugging me so tightly I can't breathe. I start laughing because here's this big strong guy who carries a gun crying and hugging me like a girl. It's sweet but funny.

"Uh, Beasley I ... can't breathe ... too tight," I try to choke out. He quickly pulls back.