Fire Over Atlanta (12 page)

Suddenly Royal thought he knew exactly what he was talking about. “Drake,” he breathed. Leaning forward, he grabbed Drake’s arms. “What happened out there?”

“I don’t know exactly what to call it. I never felt so guilty in my whole life,” he said. “And I couldn’t run away from it either. And the longer it went on, the worse it got …”

“What happened then?”

“Well, I’ve heard enough sermons to know that Jesus is the only way to get saved. So I didn’t know any better than just to call on Him—and I did, Royal. I was so miserable I was ready to blow my brains out. But then I called on God to forgive me for Jesus’ sake, and I asked Him to do something with me. Well—” he tried another smile “—He said He would, and I believe He did.”

“I’m glad. Real glad.”

“Yeah, I knew you would be. You always tried to get me to find God, and I wouldn’t do it. I was runnin’ as hard as I could, but He caught up with me out in those woods.”

“It’s the best thing that could’ve happened to you, Drake. I think you were just one of those fellas that have to hit bottom before they call on God.”

Drake was sober-faced. “I reckon that’s right, Royal—and I sure hit bottom this time—but when I called on God, He was right there!”

J
eff’s sergeant sent him back from the lines at Petersburg to try to round up some food. The Southern troops were scraping the bottom of the barrel. Glad to be out of the monotony of the trenches, he hitched a scrawny, elderly horse to a light wagon and drove through the countryside. He managed to buy some vegetables and even a whole smoked ham, along with other various items.

As an afterthought, as he headed back down the road toward camp, Jeff stopped at a tall, white house marked by columns in front. This was Cecil Taylor’s home. He knew Cecil’s parents were highly sympathetic to the Confederacy. He drove around to the back, mounted the steps, and knocked.

It was not a slave but Cecil himself who opened the door. “Hey, Jeff. What are you doing here?”

Jeff blinked with surprise. “Why, hello, lieutenant,” he said, remembering Cecil’s officer status. “My sergeant sent me around the countryside to see if I could scare up some food. I thought maybe you might have a ham or something stored in the smokehouse that the fellas could have.”

Cecil frowned. “Willikers, Jeff, I think we’re running pretty low. But come along back. Surely we can find something.”

“Don’t mean to put you out, lieutenant.”

“Oh, for crying out loud, Jeff—I’m
Cecil
. I feel like a phony anyhow, wearing this uniform.” He strolled
rapidly toward the smokehouse, and as Jeff followed he continued. “You’ve been in almost every battle since Bull Run, and I’ve never even heard a shot fired. I’m just a joke is all I am.”

“Don’t say that, Cecil,” Jeff said quickly. “We all do what we’re told to do. Evidently your officers think you’re worth more here in Richmond, and someone has to do this part of the job.”

Cecil shook his head but said no more until they got to the smokehouse. There he quickly pulled down several slabs of smoked meat. “Here. Take these back to your squad.”

“I’ll pay you for that, Cecil. All I’ve got is Confederate money, though.”

“Oh, never mind. That stuff’s not worth the paper it’s printed on. Matter of fact, I heard they were even running out of paper to print the money on. Next thing, they’ll be printing it on cornshucks.”

Back at the wagon, Jeff pulled up the canvas and stored the meat safely. Turning back to Cecil, he smiled. “Sure do appreciate this a lot. And the fellas, they’ll just be plumb glad to see it.”

The lieutenant shrugged his shoulders slightly. “Don’t mention it, Jeff.” He paused, then said, “I been wanting to talk to you—about Leah.”

Instantly Jeff tensed. He had always liked Cecil, had gotten along with him. He still liked him. He looked down at the young lieutenant, who was his age but two inches shorter than he was and very light in frame. He said, “Well, all right, go ahead, Cecil.”

Cecil seemed terribly ill at ease. He scratched his head and stared off into the sky where a flight of blackbirds was making its noisy way toward a cornfield. Then he faced Jeff and nervously ran his hand
through his chestnut hair. Finally he blurted out, “You know I’ve always liked Leah, but I thought the two of you were—you were real good friends always.”

“That’s right. We grew up together.”

“That’s what I mean. But of course, things are a little bit different now. We’re all grown up. It’s not like it was when you were kids.”

“Yep. She reminds me of that all the time. Talks about how hard it is to grow up, and I think she’s right. Not just for girls, but for boys too.”

Cecil grinned and seemed much relieved. “I’m glad to hear you say that. But really, what I wanted to ask you—Jeff, do you mind my calling on Leah?”

Instantly Jeff understood what Cecil was saying. He also knew that Leah had no deep feelings for this boy, but it was not his place to say so. He shifted his feet in the dust and chewed his lip. “Well … like you say, Cecil, Leah and I are real good friends …”

“That’s not what I mean. I mean, do you mind my
calling
on her? I’m pretty serious about her, you know.”

“I see you are, Cecil—” Jeff sought desperately to find an answer for the lieutenant but could think of nothing wise to say. “As far as I’m concerned, you can call on her.”

Relief washed across Cecil Taylor’s face. He took Jeff’s hand and pumped it. “I’m sure glad to hear you say that! I wouldn’t want to cut in between you and Leah, but if that’s the way you feel about it. Well—I feel a whole lot better!”

Jeff felt slightly foolish. He knew that Cecil cared much more for Leah than she knew—and he knew Leah cared much less for Cecil than
he
knew. Finally
he said, “I’ve got to get back to Petersburg. I wish you good luck.”

“Thanks, Jeff. That’s like you. I really do think a lot of Leah.”

“I thought you liked Lucy,” Jeff said suddenly. “You two always seemed to be real close.”

“Aw, you know how Lucy is. She’s so pretty, and every young officer in the county is humming around her. She’d never pay any serious attention to me. Besides, we grew up together, and you know how that is. A boy and a girl grow up together, and they hardly ever get serious, do they?”

“Well … hardly ever,” Jeff agreed. He climbed into the wagon, waved to Cecil, and said, “I’ll give that bacon to the boys with all your love.”

“All right, Jeff, and thanks.”

As Jeff drove on, muttering, he pulled his hat down over his face to shade it from the blistering sun. “I don’t know what he’s thanking me for. It’s almost like I was Leah’s pa and he was askin’ for permission to call on her.” He slapped the reins on the skinny back of the horse. “Get up, horse. No sense loafin’ around here.”

Eileen was sitting in the grape arbor with Colonel Majors. He had hobbled out to enjoy the fresh air. September was still hot, and the shade from the vines provided welcome relief.

“By harry,” he said, “it’s good to be out again!”

She smiled and said quietly, “You need sunshine and exercise. You’re very pale.”

“Just let me get out a few more days, and I’ll be ready to go back to the regiment.”

A cloud passed across Eileen’s face. She did not like to be reminded that soon Nelson would go back
and take his place in the trenches where men were dying every day. She knew it was a miserable, unromantic war fought in the mud, where death came when a man raised his head one inch too high. She also knew that Nelson Majors was the kind of man who would not shirk his duty—and was therefore the sort that usually managed to get himself wounded or killed.

Looking over at her, he said, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll last this war out. I’ve got to,” he said. “I’ve got to change your name.”

It had become a joke between them, this changing of her name as a symbol of their marriage. He took her hand and studied her face. “You have such beautiful hair. I always did like red hair.”

“Red hair means a hot temper, so people say.”

He laughed abruptly. “I’ve seen a little bit of that, and I expect to see more. That’s all right. I like a woman with spirit.”

They sat enjoying the breeze and watching the birds as they flew in the distance. Far off, a dog seemed to have treed something and was howling in long, mournful tones.

“If I was a little stronger, I’d go see what that dog has up a tree,” he said.

“Better leave that to somebody else. You have better things to do, such as sitting here with me.”

Nelson smiled. “You’re pretty proud now that you’ve caught a prospective husband.”

“Yes, I need somebody to boss around. Now I’ve got you and Esther—and even Jeff and Tom for a while.”

Nelson leaned back, thoughtful. “I’m kind of worried about Jeff. It looks like he’s off his feed.”

“I think he and Leah are having some difficulties.”

“Have you talked to Leah about it?”

For a moment Eileen considered sharing Leah’s comments about her plan to make Jeff jealous. But then she knew she could not do that. It would violate a confidence. She put him off by saying, “You sit right where you are, and I’ll make some tea.”

Leah was helping in the kitchen when Eileen suddenly said, “Leah, I’ve been thinking about what you told me about Cecil, and I think you must be careful. It’s very easy to hurt people.”

Leah looked up, surprised. She trusted Eileen’s opinion a great deal and admired her. But she said, “Oh, it’s all right. Cecil doesn’t really care about me.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“He just likes to have a good time. We’re just good friends.”

Later in the day, Leah was in the garden picking bugs off the plants and sprinkling snuff on some of them, having heard that was good anti-insect protection. The snuff made her sneeze from time to time, and she wrinkled her nose. “I don’t see how people can put this in their mouth!”

At that moment she heard a horse approaching. “Hello, Cecil,” she called. “I’m out here in the garden!”

He tied the mare to the hitching post and joined her.

“You can help me pull bugs,” she said.

Cecil grinned. “You’re asking a soldier of the Confederacy to pick bugs off vegetables?”

“In that case, you can watch
me
pull bugs.”

But she noticed that Cecil seemed nervous. She continued to the end of the row, then said, “That’s enough bug pulling for one day. Come on, let’s go down to the brook. I’ll take off my shoes, and you can take off those hot boots, and we can go wading.”

Leah led him to the narrow creek that circled the house like a crook, and soon she sat paddling her feet beneath the large hickory tree that shadowed the noisy stream.

Cecil didn’t take his boots off. “I’ve got a hole in my sock,” he said. “I wouldn’t want you to see it.”

She laughed, and they talked a while about little things.

Suddenly Cecil reached out and took her hand.

Leah was so surprised she didn’t know what to say. She saw that he was struggling desperately to say something. “Is something wrong? It’s not somebody killed in the war, is it, Cecil?”

“No—no, it’s nothing like that. It’s not bad news, Leah.” He held onto her hand, then cleared his throat. “Leah, I want to tell you something.”

“What—what is it, Cecil?”

“I want to tell you—” he cleared his throat again “—I want to tell you how much I admire you.”

Leah gave him a startled look and said quickly, “How nice of you to say so, Cecil.”

“No, it’s more than that,” he added, and his grip tightened on her hand. “It’s more than admiration. I guess you know what I’m going to say.”

Suddenly, to her horror, Leah
did
know what he was going to say! She wanted to cut him off, but he spoke before she could think of a way to do that.

“What I’m trying to say is that I just found out that you and Jeff aren’t serious. If I’d known that
before, I would have spoken earlier. But these last two weeks have been the best of my life. I’ve always liked you, ever since you came to Richmond, Leah. You know that. But I thought you and Jeff were … well … I thought you were in love. But now Jeff says you’re not.”

Leah gasped. “Cecil,” she began, “I don’t think—”

“I guess I want to say that I love you, Leah, and I’d like to be engaged to you.”

Never had Leah Carter been so flabbergasted in her entire life! She sat with her hand held tightly in Cecil’s hand, looking into his earnest eyes, and knowing that she had made a terrible mistake. Desperately she tried to think of some way to tell him.

He said, “This may come as a surprise to you, Leah, but I don’t think so. I mean, after all, you’ve asked me over every day practically, and you wouldn’t do that to a fellow unless you were serious, would you?”

Leah found herself nodding her head but all the time thinking,
No, no, it’s all wrong!

Cecil leaned forward suddenly and kissed her. “As soon as Jeff told me that there was nothing between you two, I knew what I had to do. You think about what I said, Leah, and I’ll come back later.”

Leah nodded, her throat so full she couldn’t speak. She stood watching from the brook as Cecil mounted his horse, took off his hat and waved it at her, then rode off at a gallop.

Slowly she walked back to the house. Eileen spoke to her, but she did not answer. Instead she went straight to her room and sat down on her bed. And then she reviewed the history of what had happened between her and Cecil. The longer she sat there, the worse she felt.

At last she got up and sat at her desk. Taking out her journal, she dipped the turkey quill in ink and began to write:

Leah put the pen down and fell across the bed. Sobs racked her body. She was a sensitive, kind girl, but now she had hurt one of the dearest, most gentle young men that she had ever met. Guilt washed over her, and she could see no way out of the situation that she herself had created.