Fire on Ice (Fire on Ice Series) (16 page)

“The two of you need to get a room,” my sister snickered. “Oh, wait. This is your room. Maybe I’d better get going.”

I glared at her. “Are you sure there wasn’t any pot at the pa
rty?”

“I said there wasn’t any pot
at the party.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t found some since then.”

I rolled my eyes at her.

“I’ve cut down a lot since Mom and Dad told me that they’d only pay for one more year of school.”

“I know,” I replied. “You’ve been trying.” My sister had been making an effort to improve her life and her grades and I was proud of her for that even if things didn’t always work out as she planned. She was kind of like a magnet for trouble.

“I can get up early and walk you to class,” she offered.

“Thanks
.” I smiled and gave her a hug. “You’re a good big sister.”

“Let’s not get all mushy about it,” she
replied.

I looked over at
Kian and the look on his face was unreadable. I wanted to ask him if he was okay but I decided to wait until my sister left.

“Okay,” my sister said. “Let’s do lunch and then I’ll walk you to your afternoon class. I assume your hockey hunk can take you over there this morning.”

When I looked over at Kian, he nodded.

“I’m
outtie,” my sister said dramatically as she headed toward the door. “Later.”

As soon as the door closed and I was sure my sister was out of earshot, I turned to
Kian. “Is everything okay?”

He ran his thumb down the side of my face. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you and I’m afraid to find out.”

“I’ll be okay,” I tried to reassure him even though I wasn’t sure at all. Blake scared me. Not only did he come across as creepy, he also seemed entitled and used to getting what he wanted. I didn’t like being the object of what seemed to be an ever increasing obsession on his part.

Fifteen

Kian

The next few weeks were a blur of road trips and spending every free moment I had with my Princess. Every time I was with her, I kept thinking it was a dream and that I’d wake up and she’d disappear.

I didn’t ever want the dream to end.

Being with Taylor was like being with the other half of me that I never knew was missing until I met her. We fit together perfectly. She made me feel things I never imagined feeling. I never thought anyone would ever love me, or could ever love me, until I met Taylor. And her love was so pure and selfless and she gave it so freely. 

I wanted to tell Taylor that I loved her but the words would never come out of my mouth. I thought about it constantly, whenever we were together. She’d tell me all the time how much she loved me and how much I meant to her. She had no trouble expressing her feelings and I envied that. I hated myself for not being able to tell her how I felt about her. Truth
be told it scared the living shit out of me. But it never seemed to bother her that I didn’t tell her how much I loved her. It was like she just knew and she didn’t need to hear it. At least that’s what I kept telling myself. I tried to show her in every way I could but it never felt like enough.

I guess a big part of me still didn’t feel like I deserved to be with her. I felt like I was
living on borrowed time and one day she would realize that I wasn’t good enough for her and she’d leave me in the dust. What she didn’t know and what I would never tell her was that I would give anything to have her and I would do anything to keep her. I would make any sacrifice, including my hockey career, if it meant being with her. I knew she would never let me give up my career for her but I would, in a heartbeat. 

And the sex—holy hell.
The sex just kept getting better. I never thought it was possible to be with the same person so much and so often and for it to be so good all the time. It was like we were made for each other. I couldn’t get enough of her. I was utterly insatiable when it came to being with Taylor Thompson.

Zelda and I did our best to make sure she was never alone on campus. I did see the prick a few times but he kept his distance. Zelda said he was still talking shit about Taylor whenever she saw him, which pissed me off. I hoped he was more talk than action because I really didn’t want to have to hurt him.

Who am I kidding? I wanted him to give me an excuse to beat the shit out of him.

One day, when I was walking Taylor to class, I noticed she was carrying some flyers.

“What are those,” I asked pointing at the small stack she held in her hand.

She held the stack up so I could see what they said. “Every year my family gets local supermarkets to donate food for needy
families for Thanksgiving and we solicit volunteers to help us deliver them the day before Thanksgiving.”

I could feel my face start to heat with embarrassment at the mention of the holiday. My family could have been one of those needy families if my mom didn’t live so far off the radar that social services agencies didn’t even know about us. I wanted to change the topic before she asked me any questions about Thanksgiving. I didn’t want to admit that I’d never had an actual Thanksgiving meal. My mom was usually too drunk to even know it was Thanksgiving and the bar she frequented was usually open, so she had no reason to think it was a holiday. Since we were teenagers, Runt and I would get take-out Chinese food and play video games all day and that’s how we spent turkey day.

Runt already told me that Shawna invited him to her step-dad’s house for the day so this would be the first year that I’d be flying solo.

I couldn’t help but tense when Taylor asked, “So, do you have plans for Thanksgiving?”

I froze and I wasn’t sure what to say so I just shrugged.

She looked shocked. “You don’t know?”

“Nah,” I tried to say as casually as I could but my insides felt like they were being tied in knots. I so didn’t want to be having this conversation.

“Aren’t you going to spend the day with your mom?” she asked quietly, as if she was unsure it was the right question to ask.

I actually laughed. “In a bar? I don’t think so.”

Taylor looked down and seemed to be mortified by my r
esponse and I immediately felt like a complete asshole. I put my fingers under her chin and lifted it so that her eyes met mine. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to respond like that. I’ve told you a little about my background and I want to spare you most of the sordid details. My mom is an alcoholic and drug addict and she has been for a long time. She’ll probably be spending Thanksgiving at the corner bar like she has every other Thanksgiving that I can remember.”

I could see her eyes were starting to get wet and she was tr
ying to blink back the tears.

“What about your dad?” she asked her voice breaking.

“The last time anyone heard from my dad he was in prison for the sale and distribution of narcotics. He could be dead by now. I don’t really know.”

“I’m sorry,” she barely squeaked out before she broke down in sobs.

I pulled her close and held her in my arms. “There’s nothing to be sorry about,” I whispered. “How can you possibly feel sorry for a guy who has the most loving and caring and absolutely beautiful girlfriend in the entire world?”

At least that got her to smile a little but I could still see the sadness in her eyes. She was sad for me and for the shitty life I had growing up and I didn’t like it. I didn’t want her to be sad about that.

I tried to kiss away the tears that were falling down her cheeks and that got me another little smile. But I wanted one of her really big smiles. One of the smiles that lit up the world around her.  I knew if I told her that I loved her, I would get one. But I still couldn’t get those three words to come out of my mouth. They were stuck in my throat like a dry saltine cracker.

Finally, she looked up at me with her beautiful brown eyes and a little bit of the gleam had returned. “Come home with me for Thanksgiving,” she suggested.

My heart sank because I knew it was inevitable that she would ask and I didn’t want to disappoint her by telling her no. And I didn’t want to lie and tell her we had a game because she could figure out pretty quickly we didn’t. I also didn’t want to tell her I had plans with Runt because that lie could unravel just as easily.

But how could I tell her that I was afraid to meet her parents? I was sure they wouldn’t like me. They’d know immediately that I was a piece of shit from the wrong side of town and that I wasn’t even close to being good enough for their daughter. And I was scared as shit they would somehow convince her to stop seeing me.

It was too soon for the dream to end.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I said.

She tried to mask her disappointment but I could still see it in her eyes. The gleam that had flickered just a few seconds ago was already starting to fade. “Why not,” she asked.

“I don’t think they’ll want someone like me at their holiday dinner,” I replied.

“You’re wrong,” she insisted.

When she lifted her hand and placed it softly on my cheek, my heart skipped a few beats. And when she looked up at me with those sad brown eyes, I knew I was going to agree to whatever she asked. She had me completely wrapped around her little finger.

“I love you, Kian. Of course my parents will want you at Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Do your parents even know about me?” I asked. “Do they know about us?”

She gulped and I knew that wasn’t a good sign. “They know I’ve been dating someone named Kian.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Just dating?”

She nodded. “I kind of wanted to ease them into the idea of me being in a relationship. As you can imagine, they’ve been a little overprotective since Austin.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know—”

She cut me off before I could finish my sentence. “Bringing you home will be the perfect opportunity for them to come to terms with our relationship,” she suggested.

I heaved a sigh. “Do they even know I play hockey?”

She shook her head. “Here’s the thing. My parents are a little different. Well, you’ve met Zelda. She’s definitely my parents’ child. My dad is a professional musician, a cellist, and my mom is a novelist and poet. They also teach at the university. They’re very—um—artistic and—um—intellectual. They don’t really
get
sports.”

I had no idea what she was talking about. I’d never heard of anyone not
getting
sports. I didn’t even know what that meant. Don’t most people love sports and love athletes who play sports?

“How do you not get sports?” I asked still confused.

“Well, my parents don’t watch sports and they don’t play sports. They see no value in them. My dad spends nearly every waking moment playing his cello and my mom sits in front of a computer and writes. For fun, they go to hear other people playing stringed instruments or to hear lectures where other authors talk about writing.”

“I can almost understand someone not following hockey but what about football and basketball and baseball?”

She just continued to shake her head. “No.”

“None of them,” I asked again just to be sure I heard her co
rrectly.

“No, never,” she insisted. “No sports ever.”

It was a lot to take in. If at least one of her parents liked hockey, I maybe could have passed muster but how was I supposed to get her parents to like me and convince them I was good enough for their daughter if they didn’t have any appreciation for sports?

As much as I didn’t want to go and completely humiliate m
yself in front of her parents, Taylor looked so eager for me to go, how could I refuse? And I selfishly wanted to see the gleam return to her eyes and the big bright smile on her face again.

“Okay,” I agreed finally. “I’ll go.”

“You will?” she asked as the gleam began to return to her eyes.

“Just for you,” I stated.

And there it was. Her glorious smile. Everything around us was suddenly brightened by its glow.

She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. I savored every moment of it because I knew it had the distinct chance of being among
our last once her parents met me.

***

When I told Runt after practice a few days before Thanksgiving about my plans for the holiday, he shook his head.

“Dude, you’re fucked.”

I frowned. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I’m confident you’re fucked,” he stated. “Shawna’s step-dad and step-mom are huge hockey fans. They think I’m like a god or something.
Like I walk on water. And they live in a trailer park, so it’s really laid back. I fit right in.”

“Don’t you mean her step-dad and her mom?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Shawna doesn’t have contact with either of her real parents. She never knew her dad because he took off when the kids were small. Her mom got remarried but I guess she took off a few years later and left Shawna and her siblings with their step-dad and he raised them. He got remarried a few years ago, so Shawna just calls his wife her step-mom.”

It sounded like a situation where I’d fit in a lot better than with Taylor’s family, that’s for sure. But that would mean I’d be with Shawna and the very idea of it repulsed me.

If I was able to make Taylor fall in love with me, there had to be a way to get her parents to accept me and maybe even like me. Because there was no way I was giving up my Princess. Not now. Not ever.

“Why do you like me?” I asked Runt.

He frowned. “I don’t.”

“I’m being serious,” I said. I really wanted to know. I thought maybe it would help me in my quest to try and impress Taylor’s parents.

“So am I, dude. What kind of question is that? You’ve turned into a real pussy ever since you started fucking the princess.”

“I told you not to use that language about Taylor,” I threa
tened.

“Well, there you go,” he said. “I like that you have someone that you really care about and that she really cares about you. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s smoking hot.”

“You’ve been my best friend since we were kids and that’s all you can come up with?”

“Let’s not get all sentimental, okay?” Runt turned away from me and I assumed the conversation was done.

“Whatever,” I replied.

To my surprise, he said, “You’re everything I always wanted to be but wasn’t.  You act tough because you’ve had to be but deep down you’re a good guy. You’d do anything for a friend and I know you’d do anything for your girl. If Taylor’s parents can’t see that, fuck ‘
em.”

“Thanks, man,” I said and gave Runt a slap on the back.

He turned back around to face me. “If you tell anyone I said any of that shit, I’ll deny it.”

I smiled. “I know.”

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go grab a beer.”

***

I changed shirts three times before I finally decided to wear a black button down shirt with black dress slacks. I felt like a freakin’ girl. I had to get a hold of myself and stop completely going nuts.