Fire on Ice (Fire on Ice Series) (11 page)

When
Kian stopped in front of my building, I was surprised when he left the engine running. Not that I wanted him to come up to my suite but a walk to the door would have been nice. Of course, the whole incident with Shawna and talking about our respective pasts kind of put a damper on any romantic sparks that had been flying earlier. He turned to face me. He brushed his thumb softly over my cheek. “I’m sorry that prick hurt you. You deserve so much better.”

“Do you have a computer?” I asked.

He furrowed his brow. “I know I’m a dumb jock but I do live in the 21st century.”

“It’s a valid question to ask someone driving a car that’s nea
rly 40-years-old. Your car has a cassette player. Do they even make those anymore?”

“I have a computer.” He grinned. “Why?”

“If you want to know what happened to me Google Austin Douglas and Taylor Thompson.”

When I saw his jaw clench, I wondered if I had made a mi
stake giving Kian his name. I didn’t know what he was capable of. Not that I wouldn’t love to have someone beat the crap out of Austin on my behalf but I didn’t want Kian to get hurt or get in trouble. Austin wasn’t worth risking his career for.

I turned to face
Kian and when he looked over at me, I could see a sadness in his eyes that had not been there earlier. It made me wonder if he planned on seeing me again.

I handed him the stuffed dog I had won playing
Skee Ball. “I want you to have this.”

He shook his head. “I can’t take it. You won it.”

“Please, take it. I want you to think about me whenever you look at him.”

He took the stuffed animal from my hands. “I think of you every minute of every day. I don’t need a stuffed dog to remind me of you.”

I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t sure if he still wanted to go out with me on Sunday, or ever again. And after he Googled me and Austin, he might decide I wasn’t even worth the bother anymore.

“Thanks for dinner,” I said as I opened my door.

“Wait,” he said as he grabbed my elbow.

I turned back around to face him and our eyes locked. The heat between us was still there, and maybe even elevated a notch.

I felt like there were so many things left unsaid and yet I didn’t seem to know what to say. I had experienced a wild ride of emotions with Kian but I was still overwhelmingly attracted to him. In so many ways, he was everything I wasn’t. He was strong and tough and funny and charming.

“I want to let you know there’s a reason why I’m not walking you to your door and it’s not because I don’t want to see you again. After everything that happened tonight, I don’t want you to feel any pressure to do anything physical. I just want you to know that’s not what this is about.” Then he gave me a sly grin. “It’s not the only thing this is about.”

I nodded as I took in what he was saying.

He continued. “And I want you to give some serious thought to what you’re getting into with me. You saw Shawna and Runt. That’s a glimpse into my not-so-distant past.”

He looked at me, his eyes dark and serious. I had never seen blue eyes turn such a deep shade, it was a bit ominous. “I’m not like you, Taylor. I’m from the wrong side of the tracks. My family, if you could even call them that, were completely fucked up. I did the best I could to raise myself in spite of them.”

“I kind of got that feeling,” I said.
“About your home life—your background.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“You’re a little—um—rough around the edges,” I added. “But it’s part of your charm.”

“I’ll never be good enough for you. You deserve so much more than a piece of shit like me.”

I opened my mouth to protest but he put his hand up to stop me.

“It’s the truth. You and I both know it. But I promise you I will work harder than any other person on the Earth to make you happy and to try to be even half of the person you deserve. Even if you decide you don’t want me, which I totally get and I wouldn’t blame you, I want you to know that you make me want to be a better person—you make me want to be a better man.”

It was more than I could process in my tired state. The idea that a gorgeous star hockey player could think that
he
wasn’t good enough for
me
was laughable. But I didn’t know the details of his life growing up. I had to assume that whatever he went through completely damaged his self-esteem.  

I took a deep breath then exhaled. “Why don’t you wait until you read some of the news articles about me and Austin before you decide I’m too good for you?”

He nodded. “Fair enough.”

“I’d better get going. It’s been a long night and I’m beyond tired.”

I leaned over and gave Kian a soft kiss on the cheek. “Good night,” I whispered.

“Good night, Princess,” he whispered back.

Eleven

Kian

The front door to my shabby studio apartment got stuck a lot. The place was old, dilapidated and cheap—cheap enough for me to pay three month’s rent at a time and still not equal what Runt was paying for one month for his fancy spread on the other side of town.

Runt spent his money faster than he could earn it. He grew up just as dirt poor as I did but he used his new found wealth to overcompensate for everything he felt was denied to him as a kid. He always wanted what was new, he wanted the very best and he wanted it yesterday.

I lived more frugally than was probably necessary but I had a goal and was determined to achieve it. I wanted to own a sports bar by the time I was thirty and if I kept up with my savings plan and continued to make good money, it was well within my reach.
      One thing I never anticipated was that my life’s goals would include a girl. But I often thought about Taylor and how she would fit into my future. It was probably stupid. The chances of her dropping me for someone more like her were almost assured. But I still had a sliver of hope. I hoped that she’d be able to see me for my potential, for who I could be if I had the chance. I didn’t think I’d ever be the man of her dreams but I hoped that maybe she could see some kind of future with me.

When my
freakin’ door finally opened, I nearly fell over my own feet to get to my computer. It was an old, used piece of crap that Runt gave me when a cute sales girl talked him into buying a MacBook Air. Like he needed something that fancy to surf porn on the internet, which is about the only use he ever got from a computer. He also managed to get a date and a blowjob from the cute sales girl but I’m not sure that was worth $1500.

I fired up the laptop and
waited for it to go through its warm up cycle. The way the thing whirred and clicked when it booted up, I knew it was on its last legs. Truth be told, the thing had been on its last legs since Runt gave it to me but I couldn’t complain about a free computer.

As soon as I saw the internet pop up, I
Googled Taylor Thompson and Austin Douglas. I nearly gasped when I saw all of the hits that came up. And then I started to feel sick to my stomach when I read some of the news headlines:

Prom Queen Sex Tape Scandal

Prom Queen Loses Virginity for the World to See

Star Hockey Player Signs Plea Agreement in Prom Queen Sex Tape Scandal

I felt like I was going to puke. I took a deep breath and clicked on one of the links to read the article.

Star Hockey Player Signs Plea Agreement in Prom Queen Sex Tape Scandal

One of the high school’s star hockey players, Austin Douglas, 18, pled guilty to one count of invasion of privacy in a controversial plea agreement that divided the mid-sized northern Arizona town. Under the terms of the agreement, Douglas agreed to attend counseling and do 200 hours of
community service. In his testimony to the judge, Douglas admitted that he made a number of poor decisions, which he attributed to immaturity, and made an apology to the victim, Taylor Thompson, 18.

The controversy began on the night of high school prom when the victim, Thompson, was staying in a hotel room with Douglas where the two engaged in sexual activity. Both Douglas and Thompson agree that the sexual encounter was consensual, however, unbeknownst to Thompson, Douglas video-taped their encounter so he could share it with friends. Although Douglas denies releasing the sex tape to anyone but a small group of close friends, the video was passed along to most of the students at the school and then went viral. After Douglas’s arrest, the Prom Queen Sex Tape Scandal made national headlines. 

Classmates of Thompson’s, who was voted Prom Queen and also served as the Student Council President, state that she was a “very smart” and “popular girl” who had “lots of friends” and was “very active in the school community” prior to the incident. Sources close to the victim state that shortly after the sex tape was released to her classmates, she withdrew from school and completed her education through homeschooling.

Opponents of the plea agreement deal believe that Douglas, who sources say was “one of the most popular athletes in the school,” only took the guilty plea and apologized to the victim to save his lucrative university hockey scholarship. One of the coaches of the prominent Utah college hockey team defended Douglas. “We believe Austin Douglas made a decision that lacked maturity but that he is truly sorry for any damage he caused to the victim. He has agreed to attend counseling and to complete community service to pay his debt to society. We welcome him to our university team this fall.”

My stomach was in a tight knot by the time I read the final paragraph. I wanted to smash the computer screen into a million pieces I was so fucking angry.

I swore if I ever saw Austin Douglas, I would hurt him as badly as he hurt Taylor. I couldn’t imagine what it felt like for her to give herself to him and then to be betrayed so utterly and completely.

No wonder she was so worried about getting hurt again. And when I thought about the things Shawna said about me and how Taylor must have thought it was possible for me to be like Austin, I wanted to scream.

I had to find a way to prove to her I was nothing like Austin. Sure, I had been with a lot of women but I never lied or cheated. I was always upfront with them and they knew the deal.

And I would never do anything without a girl’s full consent.

I realized I would have to take things really slow with Taylor. I wanted her to trust me fully and completely before we became intimate with each other. I wanted her to know without any doubt that I would never do anything to hurt her and that I would do whatever it took to protect her. I never wanted anyone to hurt
her the way that prick Austin Douglas did.

I wanted to kill that fucker.

But I knew if I did kill him that I wouldn’t be there for Taylor and that was more important.

I closed my laptop and crawled into my bed. I placed the stuffed dog Taylor had given me right next to my pillow. I noticed on closer inspection that a few of his seams were about ready to pop and one of his eyes was hanging by a thread. I wasn’t sure if the poor thing was cute or completely pathetic. That was kind of how I felt on most days. But the stuffed dog was a gift from Taylor and I cherished it because she gave it to me.

I thought about how to proceed with Taylor. I wanted to see her as soon as I could but we had a late practice Friday and a game on Saturday night. My next day off wasn’t until Sunday. I told her we’d get together. I needed to take her someplace special and memorable.

***

Friday night, I found myself at O’Sullivan’s with Runt and a few of the other guys from the team: Red, Moose and Geno.  Practice practically killed us and it felt good to kick back and relax before we had to worry about our next game.

“So, what’s up with the rich bitch?” Runt asked. He was a
lready on his fourth beer and his judgment was almost completely gone. Red, Moose and Geno all looked over at me. I hadn’t told them about Taylor and I’m sure they were curious.

“I told you not to call her that,” I snapped.

“Sorry,” he said as he tried to bury his face in his half empty pint. “I forgot.”

“You’ve got some new
punani?” Geno asked with a smirk that I wanted to punch right off his face.

“A little college
cooch,” Runt teased.

I glared at him. I knew if the guys talked any more shit about Taylor, I was going to start throwing punches, so I tried to change the subject. “What’s up with you and Shawna,” I fired back at Runt.

“Shawna lost her job and she needed a place to stay, so I told her she could stay with me for a while, until she got back on her feet.”

I frowned. “Staying with you, I doubt she’ll
ever get back on her feet. You’ll have her on her back all the time.”

“True
that,” he said and then downed the rest of his beer. “That girl is exhausting. Between the work-outs I get at practice and the work-outs she gives me when I get home, I never get any rest.”

“And where is your friend tonight?” I asked. The last thing I wanted was any more drama with Shawna.

“She said she had some things to take care of.” Runt rolled his eyes. “I have no idea what that means nor do I care enough to ask.”

I downed the remainder of my beer. “I think I’m
gonna take off,” I said.

The other guys at the end of the table, who were now e
ngaged in an intense debate about draft picks and new prospects, gave me a slight wave goodbye.

“Dude, ever since you met Taylor, you’ve been a real drag.”

I pointed a finger at him. “So, you do remember her name.”

He took a quick swig of his pint. “Of course I remember her name. I’m not a complete idiot.”

I rose. “We’ll debate that later.”

Just as I was about to make my exit, I felt a hand rub my back. I spun around and saw Shawna grinning at me. “Hey, Babe,” she said seductively.

“I’m on my way out,” I said matter-of-factly.

She put her hand to my chest and tried to stop me. “Why are you leaving so soon?” she asked.

“I’m tired.” And I really didn’t want to have this conversation with her—or any conversation for that matter.

“I know something that could wake you up.” As her hand made its way to my dick, I backed away from her.

“I thought you were with Runt,” I said. When I looked over at him, he was watching the show. It was as if he enjoyed seeing Shawna hit on me. Maybe it was like watching a porno and he was just desensitized to it.

She leaned in close. “Runt told me the two of you like to share.”

I let out a cold laugh. “We share things like hockey equipment and giant cases of toothpaste from Costco, not girls.”

“Whatever,” she said dismissively. “Don’t think I’ll still be here waiting for you when the rich bitch dumps your ass.”

I glared at her. “Last night you said I was the one who was going to dump her for another
hole to put my dick
. Now tonight she’s the one who’s going to
dump my ass
. Which is it?”

“The two of you belong together,” she scoffed.

I nodded. “You’re right. And that’s exactly what I’ve been waiting to hear.”

I pushed her aside as I made my way out of the bar and didn’t bother to look back to say goodbye to anyone.

***

Once I got back to my apartment, I had a strong urge to phone Taylor. Not only because I wanted to make sure she was okay but I was also dying to hear her voice. It didn’t seem possible that it was only twenty-four hours since I had seen her.

But then I hesitated because I didn’t want to seem like an over-eager jack-off.

I didn’t want to be another Kyle.

I stared at my cellphone for what felt like an eternity until I finally got the balls to dial.

She picked up right away. “Hey,” she said.

“Hey yourself. I’m not calling too late, am I?”

She yawned. “No, I just got done studying.”

“You were studying on a Friday night?” I joked.

She laughed. “What else would I be doing?”

I could think of a lot of things I’d like to be doing with her on a Friday night but those things would come in time, I hoped. Just when I was going to make a funny little remark about getting together on a Friday night, I swore I heard a guy’s voice in the background.

“Is there someone with you?” I asked as casually as I could. I didn’t want to come off a jealous asshole even though that’s exactly how I felt.

“It’s Kyle,” she said offhandedly. 

The little weasel.
I had a feeling he’d try to monopolize as much of her time as possible once he heard I was in the picture on a more frequent basis but it seemed awfully late to still be studying.

I didn’t want to let my imagination run wild but just the thought of her spending time with another guy, even her friend pie-faced Kyle, made me anxious.

And I didn’t like feeling anxious. I rarely felt anxious about anything. Maybe it was because there were so few things I truly cared about. But I did care about Taylor; I cared about her a lot, maybe too much. And I didn’t want to lose her.

Especially not to pie-face Kyle.
 

“Are you still there?” she asked. Her voice was laced with concern.

“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

She heaved a sigh. “Other than being completely exhausted and burned out from studying, I’m okay. I don’t know what I was thinking leaving both Stats and Research Design for my last year of school.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” I said. I wanted to be encouraging and supportive even though I really had no clue what she was going through. I never studied for a test in my life.

“Hey, do you mind if I phone you back in a few minutes?” she asked and I figured that was her way of saying she wanted to get Kyle out of there so we could talk. At least that’s what I hoped.