Finding You (Finding You Series Book 1) (19 page)

“Dress off!” Kyle snarled, against my open mouth.

If I had been strong enough I would have torn the thing to shreds to get it off. We both fumbled with the fabric, recklessly wrenching the hindrance off and away, both of us groaning in relief when our nakedness came together. Well, I was totally naked. Kyle was partially.

“You’re still overdressed,” I barked. Yes, it was actually a bark. Some deep, dark piece of me was in full possession of my actions and words.

“You do it,” he urged, attempting to lift his hips with me on top but finding it difficult. I moved so my knees were on either side of him and lifted myself so I could unbutton his jeans and pull them down his hips, only getting them down enough for me to glory at the sight in front of me.

As soon as he sprang free, I was latched on with my mouth and hands, feverishly feeding, pulling his jeans down the rest of the way, tossing them aside.

When I took him all the way in, using my tongue on the underside, stopping my gag reflex, I held firm for a few seconds, letting him feel the back of my throat.

Both his hands grabbed my head as his hips bucked and he let loose an almost pained expletive, “Fuuuck!”

Slowly I withdrew to the tip, my lips puckered and twisting backwards and forwards while moving up and down just on the head.

His whole body trembled uncontrollably and I had never felt more powerful. So this is what it feels like to be on the other end of the spectrum. There was a certain rush that came with it, I must admit but I would never turn into the type of person like my ex that had to have that power in all areas of his life on a continual basis. This was different. This was joy at the fact that I was giving my lover exactly what he needed.

Hearing him come apart beneath me fueled my own cravings so I upped the pace but was met with Kyle sitting up, forcing my mouth away.

“I don’t want to come yet. Keep that up, beautiful, and I’ll be done too soon.”

He moved onto his knees, moving me so that I was at the top end of the bed and he was at the bottom. “Would you like to try it from behind?”

As if he needed to ask. It’s not like I’d never done it like that before.

Not even answering him, I positioned myself on all fours and pushed my ass into the air for him, so turned on that I couldn’t wait and he hadn’t even started pleasuring me yet. It had been all him. My ability to sate his driving hunger.

“Shit! Do you have any idea what a vision you are right now?” he crooned, taking my hips in his hands and nudging my entrance with his swollen tip.

“Do it, Kyle. Don’t hold back. I need you.”

He growled before powering forward into me, igniting all my sensitive nerves inside, drawing a cry from my mouth as I lowered to my forearms.

“I’ve got this image tattooed onto my brain, angel.” He stopped thrusting to lean over me and kiss my shoulders while whispering to me, “Do you like me this way?”

I had to find my breath to speak. “I like you all ways but this feels so incredible. Don’t stop.”

“Mmmm. Say that last part again.”

“Don’t stop!”

“I think you might want to grab onto the headboard,” he ground out.

I did, preparing me for his assault that I so desperately wanted.

The next time he surged into me I could feel his balls hitting my sensitive nub on the outside. Between that and the depth he was getting inside me, I could do nothing but fill the room with my manic exclamations.

I was so glad I’d anchored myself to the bed because he was taking me so hard and fast now my breasts were jiggling and my head was getting thrown forward. I didn’t need clitoral stimulation from his hands as his balls were doing a fine job on their own.

The throbbing ache was building so fast, carrying me into a depraved, sensational state that I welcomed it to take me with all it had.

Kyle felt like steel, rubbing me to a molten mess. “I can’t hold on, baby. Fuck, I’m so hard and need to come so badly. Jesus!”

God, I loved those words. I clenched onto the bedhead so hard my knuckles were white as I lost my breath for a second, bracing myself as the exquisite, volatile explosion shattered me from the inside out. I sounded like I was being tortured and I very nearly was, Kyle joining me in my cries. The more he jerked high up inside me as I felt his warm liquid scald me, the more I voiced my pleasure, dragging out the release for both of us.

I fell on the bed, taking Kyle with me as he continued to buck and spasm in me harshly, my name becoming a chant on his lips. Our bodies went still apart from our hips that were absorbing the brunt of our aftershocks.

His open mouth and tongue claimed the back of my neck while his moans continued until his groin stopped moving.

“Holy fucking hell! I am so completely wrecked! You nearly gave me heart failure!”

I gave a half-hearted laugh as well as a grunt, not having the energy to offer anything else. Kyle rolled off me onto his side, which enabled me to catch my breath a little more.

I turned and wrapped myself around him, needing his contact even more.

He was whispering sweet nothings in my ear over and over but I was so exhausted, I slipped away into the land of nod.

Chapter Fifteen

Dakota

I had crashed into a deep slumber and as I stirred I could feel glorious aches in places I shouldn’t. A smile broke free as I kept my eyes closed, listening to nature stir. Birds started singing against the gentle waves kissing the shore and mumbled voices of people rising and heading outdoors echoed in the quiet.

If you’ve ever had the feeling that someone is watching you, you probably know that nine times out of ten they actually are. This was one of those times. Before I even opened my eyes, I was aware of his presence and his deep gaze. My smile widened. He was watching me sleep. My man was watching me sleep. It had a nice ring to it.

Speaking of rings, my cell phone’s alarm exploded to life, blaring at full pelt.

Ugh! I could have thrown it this morning. I just wanted to keep my eyes shut a while longer.

Peeking out from under my sleepy lashes, I was met with the most breathtaking sight. Kyle was propped up on his elbow, beguiling me with his grin. If the alarm hadn’t been annoying the hell out of me I would have lost myself in it more.

Grappling around beside the bed, I switched the alarm off and rolled back over.

“Hi. How did you sleep?” His teeth gleamed as he spoke.

“Like a baby, you?”

“Well, I tossed and turned a bit so I gave up after a while and lay watching you for most of the night. Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

Was he teasing or serious? I tensed slightly.

“You watched me sleep all night? I talk in my sleep? What was I saying?”

“Oh a bunch of mumbo-jumbo for the most part. I did pick up on some words, though.”

I fought against my tightened muscles. What exactly had I revealed?

“You mumbled something about wanting to jump my bones.”

“Kyle!” My trepidation passed, followed by a burning desire to tickle him until he begged for mercy.

I knew where his sensitive spot was. Along his rib cage, leading up to his armpits. I took him by surprise, pinning him down and straddling on top of him. He had no time to counterattack before both my hands were working their magic.

He yelled out, half laughing and half cringing, not wanting to give in. I was relentless and wouldn’t stop until he screamed the words.

“Give up?”

“Never.”

I knew he would cave soon, though. His face was turning red as his hands tried to push me away but I outmaneuvered him each time.

He was laughing so hard he barely had the strength to stop me and I knew I was winning.

“Okay, okay! I give up! Stop!”

Victory was sweet. He pulled me down by the wrists and planted his open mouth on mine. I took willingly, merging the taste of him with me, secretly hoping I didn’t suffer from morning breath.

His alarm on his watch pealed out, startling both of us.

“Back up. In case your phone didn’t wake us.”

I reacted with jerky movements, moving to sit on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands.

“Ah, sorry. Just didn’t want you to be late.” He moved to sit beside me.

“It’s not that. I’d almost forgotten what day it was when I woke. Your alarm jerked me back to reality.”

My throat started to close up and I could feel sweat start to form on my skin. A tell-tale sign of fear.

“I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you.” The more I thought of going to the airport and getting on that plane the worse I felt.

“I know. I wish I could keep you here, I really do. I don’t think it would earn me any brownie points with your folks, though. It wouldn’t be right.”

No, it wouldn’t, but I suddenly didn’t care about doing the right thing. I wanted to stay where I was happy. If that was the wrong thing to want, then shoot me.

God. I knew deep down that I really didn’t have a choice. Family first.

Looking at his watch, Kyle grimaced.

“It’s six o’clock. We’d better get organized and get out of here.”

We’d arranged for me to call Kyle on his cell phone as soon as the flight reached New York, which was where the plane had to fly to first, for the connecting flight back to Australia. After Kyle was finished filming he’d be heading back to Los Angeles for a long break. He’d been on Sapphire Island for over two months making the movie and I knew he was looking forward to seeing his own family again.

We quickly threw on our clothes before scanning the hut to make sure nothing had been left behind. I soaked everything in one last time, burning it into my brain.

Kyle was already out the door as I remembered one last thing I had to do. I walked over to the bedside drawer and took out the note I had written, placing it on top. Hopefully the recipient would receive it.

With a quick look back and no time to even have breakfast, we hurried to reception to give Ramah the keys back and to say good-bye.

Hayden was standing with Ramah behind the reception desk when we arrived.

“We’ll be sad to see you go,” announced Hayden. “You just start to get to know people and then they have to leave. That’s the only downfall of this business.”

“Make sure you write to us and let us know how you are doing,” Ramah added.

“Oh I definitely will. I’ll keep you posted on everything and will send you a postcard from Australia to say that I’ve arrived safely.”

I was going to miss Ramah. She was amazing. For someone in such a busy role she always had time for her guests. She’d been a shoulder for me to cry on.

After the hugs and kisses good-bye, we got in the cab that was parked outside and headed to the airport. As we pulled away from the resort, I turned and mentally took a photo of the place that had changed my life forever. Memories of the trip filled every crevice of my mind. I put my arms around Kyle and kissed him as I reminisced.

“Mmm. What was that for?”

“For coming into my life and letting me experience warmth, friendship, and love. It’s been a long time. I’ve never met anyone quite like you, Kyle Rutherford.”

“There’s plenty more where that came from, you’ll see.”

“I like the sound of that. I don’t want to treat this as goodbye but just see you later for a little while. I’ll be okay, knowing we’ll be together soon.” My voice hitched as I tried to keep it together. I was trying hard to be strong.

The rest of the journey to the airport we sat embraced looking out the window. We were both deep in our own thoughts, dealing with my departure in our own individual ways.

The cab arrived at the airport with little time to spare. Kyle grabbed my luggage from the trunk and chewed up the pavement to get inside with me on his tail.

Passengers were leaving in droves and there were many milling around inside, waiting for flights.

“Would you like a window or aisle seat?” she queried, busily typing into her computer without glancing up, assuming that a person was even standing there. I could have been a masked gunman and it wouldn’t have made a scrap of difference.

“Window seat, please, and I’d like to be near the rear of the plane.”

It was an odd request I knew, but the back of the plane was meant to be the safest. Whether there was any truth to it or not, it didn’t matter. Being a little superstitious, tradition could not be broken.

I was about to offer I buy us both a final coffee but before I could get it out a loud voice boomed over the speaker. “All passengers traveling to New York City please make your way through the departure gate. Flight DX 75 is now boarding. I repeat, flight DX 75 traveling to New York City is now boarding. Thank you.”

Thrust into the inevitable moment all too soon, my body began trembling with angst.

Kyle took me in his arms and held on tightly.

I breathed him in one last time, trying to use his scent to calm me but it only made things worse.

Thinking that I was the weak one, Kyle surprised me with his words, “I can’t let you go. I thought this would be easy but now that we’re actually standing here and it’s happening, I can’t let it happen.”

Sobbing uncontrollably now, I took a deep breath and with every ounce of strength I could muster up, I cried, “I know, I feel the same but we’ll be together soon, right? Just keep focusing on that.” I hated myself for having to say it. He was asking me to stay. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Go. Why the crazy hell then was I going to drag myself onto that plane? Fuck that loser of an ex-husband, John! He’d totally screwed my life up yet again. I was so tired of him still controlling me. It had to damn well stop!

“But how am I going to cope with waiting so long to see you again? When will I see you?” he wondered in desperation.

“I promise, I won’t be long in Australia. I’ll make sure Dad’s okay and then I’ll be on the first plane out of there. I can start divorce proceedings from America. Maximum two weeks, I promise!” Telling myself that it was only a quick visit was the only thing stopping me from ordering Kyle to take me back to the resort.

We kissed a long bittersweet kiss, neither one wanting to pull our lips away. Kyle was crying’ too. It just wasn’t fair. He looked as lost as I was feeling. I couldn’t handle seeing grown men cry, especially over me. I sobbed harder.

He held my head in his hands' seeming to etch my features into his mind, just like he’d done on many occasions before but this time he was being more thorough.

Fingers intertwined, cheek to cheek, I blurted out, “You are the only thing that is real in my life. You’ve changed me in every way. You’ve changed the way I view life. Before I had nothing and now I have everything. My whole life I’ve been looking for you. It has taken a terrible tragedy for us to find each other. I can’t bear to be apart from you.”

“Just close your eyes and go to our special place. Imagine us sitting on the cliff edge, wind blowing in our hair, holding each other tightly. I’ll do the same. Feel me next to you.”

“This is the final call for passengers traveling to New York City. Please make your way through the departure gate and onto the plane.”

Sickness erupted forth into my throat like a volcano about to blow its top. Gagging, I knew the time had come.

My hands were shaking. My shoulders drooped again like they had when I first arrived on the island. I was a wreck. I was sure my mascara must have turned me into a gothic chic in seconds and my eyes felt like they were bleeding. Tasting his mouth and breathing in his smell one final time, I pulled away and turned. I couldn’t speak. If I didn’t let go in that second I wouldn’t have been able to. It killed me. My chest was tearing open.

“Wait!” he cried. “There’s something I have to tell you and I should have said it to you before now.”

I stopped, waiting for him.

Please demand that I stay! Drag me off and lock me in a cab.

His arms came around me from behind as I dropped my overnight bag.

He murmured into my ear, “I love you. I love you so much. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re so beautiful. You don’t have to say it back but I couldn’t let you leave without telling you.”

He said it! He actually said it! I was ecstatic! My feelings had gone so much deeper over the last few days and I knew that this was the beginning of something serious. This time, I didn’t hesitate.

“I love you too, so much. I can’t believe this. We’ve only known each other for a short amount of time, yet without a doubt this is what I want. I want you. I’m going to miss you so much.”

I turned in his arms so we could kiss again before Kyle let me go: Our hands pulling apart so that just fingertips touched. His energy faded as our contact was broken. I was leaving half my heart and soul on Sapphire Island.

I couldn’t help but notice the flattened area over his crown chakra which tended to denote when someone was depressed. Kyle was hurting. It made the invisible knife pierce my heart all the deeper.

“Two weeks! I’ll see you in two weeks!” he called out as I put more distance between us. I turned slowly and smiled, offering him a small wave, hoping that I could honor my two week promise.

I trudged away with my bag to the doors that led out to the tarmac and away from my newfound happiness, turning one last time to see Kyle standing alone like a lost puppy that had just been abandoned. He was convulsing with sadness, not caring what people thought or who saw him.

My heart felt like lead and emptiness smacked me hard in the face as I walked on auto-pilot across the tarmac to the plane. Everything had gone full circle. Two weeks ago I’d entered the tin building alone yet full of hope and now as one foot was forced in front of the other, I was leaving the same building, returning to the nightmare, alone, yet full of hope.

Will I ever see Kyle again? How long will I really be back in Australia for? What if I run into John?