Finding You (Finding You Series Book 1) (17 page)

Hearing the agonized word rip from his mouth was like music to my ears. He was as lost as I was. His hands were still gripping my ass tightly as he hung on, keeping me at just the right height for maximum penetration. God, he was going so deep like this. My hips started moving in time with his powerful thrusts, his wet cock feeling amazing sliding in and out, hard and fast.

“Aaaah, Kyle. You feel so good. Don’t stop. Mmmm. Shit. Yes! Right there. Like that!”

God, he could move. My spine was hitting the wall hard but it didn’t matter because the pleasure I was experiencing between my legs far surpassed anything else and I just couldn’t get enough.

Before I even knew I’d said it, I yelled out, “Fuck me, Kyle!” I shocked myself for a moment as I became possessed by the woman who had lain in wait to be let free.

He lifted his head. His sultry eyes pierced mine as he broke a smile and then groaned, “I’m fucking you, baby.” He looked down between our bodies at his cock sliding into my slick entrance. He licked his lips and then said, “Look down, beautiful. I want you to watch my hard cock filling you.”

Holy shit! It was so sexy. I moved my head forward and let out a whine as I saw his thick shaft effortlessly gliding in and out of me. “You were made for me, baby. See how hard I am for you?”

That did it. I couldn’t hold on any longer as I watched us fucking. Yes, that’s right! I said fucking! Me! The quiet do-gooder that had been deprived of this glorious experience since, well…since forever! God, it felt so good! My eyes stayed riveted on Kyle’s cock as the first shockwave tore through me and then I couldn’t keep my head down any longer. I arched my body into his, gripping his head, aware that I was probably pulling on his hair as I howled in ecstasy, mouth hanging open, eyes shut.

Kyle’s face was against my ear. “That’s it. Come hard. Fuck yeah!”

While Kyle didn’t swear normally, I loved hearing him talk like this to me during sex. He turned into an animal. I knew that he meant it in the best possible way though.

He kept pounding into my sweet spot, dragging my orgasm on and on until I could barely breathe.

Euphoria swept over me as sex hormones filled my bloodstream. I was still in oblivion when I faintly heard a feral growl let go from Kyle as he slammed into me one last time and shook violently inside me, flooding me with warm liquid as I clung on until he stopped moving and almost collapsed. He took me with him as he turned so that his back was against the wall and then he slid to the floor with me straddling him. He was still lodged deep inside. I wasn’t willing to let him go yet.

“Damn! Damn! What are you doing to me? That was so fucking good! I’m losing myself to you, baby.” He was struggling to catch his own breath.

I smiled into his neck, elated that I had given him so much pleasure. His hand had fisted some of my hair at the back of my head. The combination of water and sex had blown my mind. Never had I thought that being with a man could feel so extraordinary. I’m so glad we waited.

Both of our hearts thumped wildly, my head falling onto Kyle’s shoulder. My whole body had turned into jelly after that explosive detonation so I needed a minute to pull myself together.

Kyle lifted my head with both hands so he could press his lips to mine gently as we breathed into each other’s mouths. “Hey, you,” he whispered.

I tried to focus on his eyes that were so close I almost went cross-eyed. “Hey, you,” I murmured back.

“How are you feeling?”

“Amazing.” I started thumbing his bottom lip and as I did he opened his mouth and sucked it in, rolling it with his tongue as he had done with his thumb, bringing a shiver of delight to my skin.

He was watching me intently, some un-named emotion shining in his eyes. I felt adored, as if I was Kyle’s whole world.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, touching and just gazing at each other before Kyle sighed. “I really, really don’t want to go to work now but I have to. It’s an important scene. Jacob will freak if I don’t show.” Kyle couldn’t move until I climbed off him. I needed just one more minute of bliss before he disappeared.

“I might just tie you to the bed and keep you here all day.” I pulled his bottom lip out with my teeth teasingly. I knew he wouldn’t stay but it was worth a playful shot.

“I’d love that. You know I would. Don’t tease me.” He did the same back to my lower lip, licking it before he pulled away and offered me a ravishing smile.

Pushing on his shoulder with one hand, I slowly rose, holding onto the wall with the other as I stood to let the blood circulate into my legs.

“If you want to stay for a while, just lock the door from the inside on your way out. I don’t mind.” Kyle smacked me on the butt as he stood, leaving me in the shower alone. I poured some shampoo into my hand and applied it to my hair, lathering it up fully before rinsing and repeating. The water was beginning to turn cold so I quickly covered myself in soap, washed it off and stepped onto the bath mat, reaching for a soft, white towel that sat on the vanity.

Kyle had dried off and was out in the living area dressing while I wrapped myself in the towel before joining him.

He bit his inner cheek when he saw that my exposed skin was still covered in droplets of water as he bent to put his shoes on. “You’re very distracting, you know that?”

“Who me?” I batted my eyelashes at him.

“Yeah you, Miss Innocent!” He laughed and the rich tone of it stroked my insides.

“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

After finishing tying his shoe laces he stood and closed the distance, grabbing me with one hand by the ass and pulling me in to him, ignoring the fact that I was still wet. He planted a solid kiss on my mouth that ended with a smacking sound before pulling away and heading for the door. He looked over his shoulder, smirking. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, beautiful, but I love it. I lo—” He stopped before he finished but I knew what he was about to say. We both stood looking at each other in shock, letting the weight of his almost words sink in.

He loved me? Could it even be possible? Me? I was frozen to the spot and there was an awkward moment before he shook it off and finished by saying, “I love spending time with you. See you after work.”

And then he was gone, leaving me like a stone figurine, unable to move as I processed the fact that he was about to admit he loved me.

Could people really fall in love in such a short space of time? How did I feel about that? Did I love him back? Could I ever love again?

I walked to the dining chair and sat down, letting out a breath. Wow! This was just insane! Completely and utterly insane! My life had done a complete turnaround in such a short time that I was still trying to catch up with it all. Who would have ever thought that things would end up this way for me?

And then another thought hit me. How was I going to leave tomorrow?

Chapter Thirteen

Kyle

“Cut!” Jacob Edwards called for the tenth time during the same scene.

I groaned and gripped my neck with one hand. My mind wasn’t on the game this morning. Shit. I was still standing in the shower buried deep inside Dakota. She was consuming me. How was I going to get through work today? I could hear and see the crew mumbling and shaking their heads as Jacob walked over to me with a grim face.

“What’s going on today, hotshot? You’re a million miles away. Is something bothering you?”

No, nothing was bothering me. Well, nothing bad, anyway. How was I supposed to tell Jacob that Dakota was affecting me like nothing before? I was supposed to be a professional actor not some amateur. This had never happened before.

“Nah. Just didn’t get much sleep last night. Sorry, Jacob. Can we take a five minute break and I’ll get my head in order?” Truth be told, I wanted to finish up for the day and go to Dakota. She was all I could think about. I’d nearly ruined things by telling her that I loved her. I hadn’t meant to let that slip. Jesus! I’d seen the look of shock on her face as she’d registered what I’d been about to say.

Jacob eyed me for a moment before saying, “Five minutes. Don’t let me down. Time is money.” He proceeded to call out that we were taking a break and walked off to talk with the cameraman.

I strode off set, which was in a thicket of trees by the beach. I walked down to the water’s edge and lifted my face into the sun, taking a few deep breaths to try and clear my head. I’d always found it easy to get into the zone when filming but today had been hard. I needed to get it together or Jacob was going to be pretty pissed. Hold ups could blow the budget and I didn’t want to be responsible for that when I wasn’t sure how well the movie would be received. Just because I was starring in it didn’t mean it would be a hit at the box office.

Running both hands across my short hair, I ran my lines for the current scene through my head, letting the sound of the waves lapping at the shore of the sheltered bay wash away all else but what I needed to focus on. I would be seeing Dakota later and was going to make damn sure that our last night together was going to be special. I needed it to be because God knew how long it would be until I saw her again after tomorrow.

I wished she’d never received that phone call from her mother. Part of me wanted to beg her not to go but after only two weeks of being with her, I knew it wasn’t my place to.

If I didn’t have this movie to finish I’d be flying to Australia with her to keep her safe.

Blowing out a breath it was so evident that I had fallen hard for this woman. I knew what it was like to love. I’d experienced it before. This was vastly different, though. A craziness that had stolen my ability to think. My chest felt empty without her near like she had already become a part of me. I knew I would never be the same again.

“Okay. Five minutes is up. Let’s get back on track,” Jacob rumbled.

I pushed everything out of my head. It was time to get back into pirate mode and finish this so I could go to my love.

Chapter Fourteen

Dakota

Around midday, after dressing and hanging out at Kyle’s hut for a while, I returned to mine to pack my things and write some more of my book. I needed a distraction to keep myself from focusing on returning home. With each hour that ticked by, I started to feel like I was walking the green mile. The dread I’d felt when I’d spoken to my mother on the phone the day before was returning and I didn’t like it one little bit. Sitting on the balcony with pens and paper strewn everywhere, drinking in the beauty of the island, memorizing every palm tree, every footstep in the wet sand, every breeze on my cheek, I wondered what life would be like back in Australia.

Tomorrow would be one of the hardest days yet. Leaving Kyle. It didn’t bear thinking of for now though as it would spoil our last night together. It was so tempting to cancel my flight and stay on for the remaining two weeks like originally planned, but obligations came first. My father needed me. My mother needed me. Just as I had needed both of them after leaving John.

In and out. That’s what Kyle had said. Go and see how Dad is, give Mum some support, make sure he’s stable and then leave.

That was the plan. The quicker it was all over the better.

Looking at the meager amount of writing I’d done, it became apparent that my mind just wasn’t on the job. I had too much else to think about. Mostly Kyle. Last night and this morning had been the best hours of my life and I craved more. Much more. Maybe knowing that I had someone special to go to after visiting my folks would make the trip more tolerable. I could just focus on reuniting with Kyle and what that would mean for our relationship. If we even had one. I didn’t know what to define it as. If felt so much more than just a holiday fling. I’m sure Kyle felt it, too. After all, he’d nearly said the L word.

Stashing my half-written manuscript back in my suitcase, I changed into a bikini and went to grab a coffee and a bite to eat. Coffee was my comfort drink. Some people ate food. I drank coffee. Strong coffee.

Walking through the pool area, I heard someone wolf-whistle. Keeping my head down, believing that it was aimed at someone else, a guy continued to whistle until I finally looked up to see why he hadn’t stopped. I was shocked to see two younger guys in swimming trunks, lounging on some chairs, gawking at me with huge smiles plastered on their faces. One of them called out, “Nice bod!”

I could have shrunk to half the size! Not used to compliments, I felt my cheeks burn, unsure how to answer so I just smiled and hurried into the foyer at reception, hearing their laughter behind me.

Maybe I should have worn a towel over my bikini. I hadn’t thought anything of it which went a long way to describe how far my confidence had soared since meeting Kyle. I never would have considered exposing myself in a skimpy bikini to the public, ever. Yet here I was, walking around like it was the most natural thing in the world, comfortable with my body. Just another confirmation that Kyle had changed me for the better.

After grabbing my coffee and a salad sandwich from the restaurant, which was busy due to the lunch crowd, I bravely made my way back outside, determined not to let the hot young guys outside embarrass me this time as I walked past.

Lifting my shoulders and straightening my spine, I walked confidently and purposefully back the way I had come.

They were both still sitting in the same spot and when they saw me, I couldn’t help but notice out the corner of my eye, that one of the guys nudged the other one to grab his attention. I could feel two sets of eyes drilling into me.

“Hey sweetheart, you’re looking good. Do you want to join us?”

Damn. Here I was thinking that I was going to be able to amble past quietly without incident. My heart played a silly rhythm, betraying my head that was telling me to keep calm.

Momentarily I stopped and turned to them. They looked harmless enough and were obviously just being friendly. Had I been in another time and place maybe I would have joined them but not now.

“Thanks, but I’m meeting my boyfriend soon.” It was all I could think of. That would surely shut them up.

“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find us.” They winked at me and I spun on my heels, picking up speed, wanting nothing more than to get to my hut and shut the door.

I couldn’t actually believe that they’d said that! Clearly, I was older than them. I mean, I was tanned after being on a tropical island for a fortnight and I had lost weight after my marriage break-up, but seriously? I couldn’t deny that I was flattered by the attention but I just didn’t know how to process it.

I took a swig of my coffee, not caring that it was too hot. I needed the caffeine more than I should.

I moved to the bed and sat with my back against the wall, unwrapping my salad sandwich and taking a huge bite. I was going to miss the freedom of the island. Not having to do anything or worry about much. Having to provide emotional support to my mother was going to test me. I loved her more than anything but being in that mindset 24/7 was going to sap all my energy and put a strain on any reserves I had managed to build up while on holiday.

The timing of everything couldn’t have been worse.

After I’d finished my coffee and sandwich I grabbed a towel and went down to the ocean for a final swim.

Puffy clouds dotted the sky and a calming, gentle breeze nudged me as I walked down to the water, dropping my towel before I reached the wet sand. It looked like the tide was on its way out, the waves receding that little bit further each time.

The tepid, salty water was amazing as I dived in, submerging myself fully before rising to float on my back and bask in the contrasting lukewarm water and scorching sun.

Oh to be able to do this every day. To forget life and just be present with nature. As I floated, I pondered. How had life become so out of control when all I really wanted was to just exist like I was here and now? I didn’t ask for much. Riches you could have. Status you could keep. All I needed was this incredible peace I was feeling, even in the face of adversity. The absence of all the soul-sucking emotions that came with my life. Experiencing joy like I have been recently gave me hope that things were going to work out. I could have the ‘happy ever after’ that I desperately craved.

After a while of contemplation I felt ready to go indoors and change. I had a special evening with Kyle to look forward to and I wanted to look beautiful for him.

Stripping naked in the bathroom, I left a small pile of sand on the tiles that I’d collected in my bikini bottoms. I switched the shower head to massage spray and stood under the invigorating jet as it pummeled my skin.

I would miss everything about this place, right down to the floral scented soaps and shampoos. Everything on the island seemed richer and brighter. My senses had come alive. Maybe that’s what happened when happiness was found. Food seemed tastier. Flowers vibrant and more fragrant. People friendlier. It was like having awoken from a deep slumber. I was finding myself again.

After managing to get all the sand off and washing my hair, I dried off, using the towel to wrap around my hair like a turban. I’d failed to bring in a clean set of clothes so walked through to the lounge area and yelled.

“Crap! You scared me!” I clutched at my naked body, trying to cover up the important parts, not having expected company so soon.

Kyle stood leaning up against the door frame with a panty dropping smile on his face, eyebrows lifted.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Oh, long enough to see how striking you are without clothes.” He wandered over to the bed, throwing himself down facing me, propping himself up on his elbow.

“Keep doing whatever you were doing. Don’t stop on my account.” His free hand, motioned around the room for me to continue on as if he wasn’t even there.

The problem with that was, I was well aware of his presence and was finding it difficult to form a thought.

“Sorry to scare you, by the way, but we’ve finished filming and so I thought I’d come and surprise you.” He spoke with a playful tone and had a sparkle in his eyes.

“You certainly achieved that! I think I’ve just lost five years of my life!” I couldn’t be mad at him for scaring me, though. I was happy that the first thing he’d wanted to do after work was come to me. “Does this mean I get you all to myself for the rest of the afternoon and evening?” I liked that thought. A lot.

Glancing at his watch, Kyle said, “There’s not much of the afternoon left but yes, I’m here at your disposal to do with as you please.”

All I wanted to do was go to him and lose myself for the next while but because I could see he was in a playful mood and was teasing me with his words, I decided two could play at that game.

Dropping my hands to my sides, I purred in the sexiest voice I could muster, “Actually, I was just about to get dressed.” I walked over to my suitcase which I had packed but left the clothes I’d be needing on the top. Opening it, I took out my sexy lingerie and swung the panties around my finger. “Hmm, I guess these will do. Oh and look, a matching bra.” I grabbed both and stood, cheering at myself for my bravado. I hadn’t looked to see Kyle’s expression but I swear you could have heard a pin drop.

Bending down, I slowly and seductively stepped into the lace panties, pulling them up my legs and over my bottom which I tried to stick out a little.

I heard the bed creak and knew Kyle was moving. Dare I risk a peek?

I couldn’t help myself. Keeping my head down, I looked up through my lashes and found Kyle sitting on the edge of the bed, gripping the sides as if in pain. Raising my head slightly my line of vision sighted his face. The way he was watching me stirred my hormones. He licked his full bottom lip and then swallowed hard, his burning stare pinpointed on my butt.

Looking away again, I pulled on my all in one lace crop top bra that just covered my breasts, cut low to allow some cleavage to show.

I knew I was being a tease but it was fun, hearing his breath quicken and the mattress squeak under his movements.

“Turn around.” It was uttered as a whisper that I couldn’t refuse.

I turned to face Kyle fully, seeing him rise off the bed and step towards me, his expression indicative of his thoughts. “You’re exquisite! Like a rare flower and you don’t even know it. Look at you.” He stopped, close enough that I could see the pulse throbbing in his neck. His hand came up to the cleavage that was on offer, his fingers stroking my ripe flesh. His gaze followed the trail of his touch, both igniting my core to scalding.

“So soft,” he muttered more to himself than to me as one of his fingers found their way underneath the lace. He looked at me then, my game of tease clearly over. This was real. The air crackled with sexual energy, both of us waiting to see who would strike first. One hand found my waist and gripped firmly, the other leaving my bereft cleavage to work its way up to my mouth, which I opened for him.

“You’ve done me in. Shooting was a disaster this morning. All I wanted was to be here with you, like this, feeling what I’m feeling right now.”

Taking his forefinger in my mouth and sucking using my tongue, I croaked, “And what’s that?” Would he say it? Would he admit to something far greater than both of us?

“I feel like I’m me. You bring me back to myself. I’m not an actor who has expectations put upon him. I’m just plain old Kyle Rutherford. I haven’t been him in such a long time. You’ve reached inside me and pulled him out.”

I couldn’t move. He wasn’t ready for me to speak as he continued, “That person that you’ve found again wants to give himself to you.
I
want to give myself to you. I don’t have a choice anymore, beautiful. You’ve already taken me. All of me. I’m lost to you and yet I feel like I’ve been found again.”

Holy shit! If my arms had been working I would have slapped myself to make sure I wasn’t hearing things. I could feel my lips twitching as my heart sent all my emotions forth, my eyes welling up.

I had been doing so well today too keeping it together in preparation for the following day. Now, I was about to cry like a baby. The first thing I felt was my legs go. And then firm muscled arms were around me, making sure I didn’t drop to the floor. I let a whimper go as the dam burst, Kyle pulling me tightly in to his chest, tucking my head in as his chin rested on top.

“Shhh. I didn’t mean to upset you, baby.”

“I’m…not…
sniff
…sad…I’m…
sniff
…happy.” And then I let myself go completely, crying into Kyle. I couldn’t help it. No one had ever said such things to me before.

He kissed the top of my head over and over, rubbing my back. I don’t think he was game to ask me why I was a blithering mess if I was so happy.

He held me in silence until I finished my episode. God. What the hell was wrong with me? I cried when I was sad. I cried when I was happy, and sometimes I even cried in between. I was just about over shedding tears, period.

When I felt I could look at Kyle without feeling ridiculous, I lifted my head to find a tenderness on his face I hadn’t seen before.