Finding Me (21 page)

“No . . . um . . . sit here if you want. I don’t care,” Lisa stammered and turned to face the front of the room.

I felt him before I saw him. I met Owen’s gaze as he stood in the doorway, long enough to notice his fallen expression. My eyes stayed glued to him as he shook his head and moped to his seat. I wished I could run to him, cover his face with kisses, and go back to what we used to be. I’d be at my regular desk. He’d sit beside me and slide his arm around my shoulder. He’d say, “Hey, City” or “What’s going on, gorgeous?” He spoiled me with attention and what I thought was love. After seeing Amber in his bed, I had no clue what to think anymore.

My phone buzzed in my hand as I was putting it away.

OWEN
: I hate that you don’t want to be near me.

Despite my better judgment, my fingers rushed to answer.

ME
: I hate that too.

After class, I packed up at super speed, wanting to rush to my next one with as little social interaction as I could get away with. I didn’t look back to where Owen was or at the narrowed eyes Lisa gave me. I almost made a clean break when a tap on my shoulder spun me around.

“Bella.” Tyler was also in the Honor Society and sat in the very back of the room. This was the first time he’d actually spoken to me. “I was told to give you this.” He handed me a torn piece of notebook paper.

I nodded a thank you and clutched the paper as I walked away. I debated on whether to open it. The masochist in me won, and I unfolded it as soon I got outside.

There was nowhere to hide. The place that I escaped to had now become the source of my biggest torment. I took a deep breath and rushed to my next class. Misery and heartbreak followed me here, and it didn’t look as though they were leaving anytime soon.

I waited in line at Bean Shooters for a large mocha with extra whipped cream, and maybe even a big cookie. I craned my neck, my chest constricting at the memory of meeting Owen for the first time right in the same spot.

“Hey, Bella,” Richie whispered in my ear as I waited to give my order. I jerked away from him and nodded a hello. The guy seemed to be everywhere the past couple of days, and it was always the same thing: ‘Owen doesn’t deserve you, let’s take a walk somewhere.’ His intentions were anything but nice. Creepiness oozed from every word.

“He’s really not worth the heartache.” Every step I took away, Richie moved closer. “Why don’t I buy you a cup of coffee and we can find a table and talk.” He rubbed my shoulder and I swatted his hand away.

“Can’t you take a hint? Leave. Me. Alone. I’m not interested in being the prize in some sick pissing contest you have with Owen.” I turned my gaze to the counter and felt a thousand eyes on my back. From the corner of my eye, I caught Richie’s scowl as he stormed away. Embarrassing him was the first good feeling I’d had in two days.

I ordered and reached into my wallet to pay.

“Oh no, this is already paid for.” The barista waved my hand away. “Owen gave me money to cover whatever you ordered and asked me to give this to you.”

My eyes widened as I took another piece of folded notebook paper from her hand. OT had people on his payroll all over campus.

My vision clouded with another onslaught of tears. I’d never felt so lost in all my life. I was unsure of my past, confused as hell about my present, and couldn’t handle the thought of my future. I’d need a hell of a lot more than a mocha to make me feel better.

Owen

“COME ON, THOMPSON. NOW'S NOT
the time to be lazy. Move!”

We had no hope for getting into the playoffs, or having a scout come back since the last one slipped out of the rink with no interest in returning, but Coach still rode my ass as much as he could. He was right, though. My heart was nowhere near the ice. I shot the puck as hard as I could. My only intention was to maybe knock out a tooth or an eye from our asshole goalie. I would have loved to body check him into the boards and get that smirk off his face whenever he gazed in my direction.

If I'd taken defeat like a man, I'd still have my girl. Maybe Richie set me up, but it was my fault for giving him the opportunity. I texted and called Bella every day, but all I got in reply was radio silence. Our only contact had been her sending Laura to my apartment for all the stuff she kept there. Every time I gazed across the rink at Bella's usual seat in the stands my heart sank and my blood boiled. I lost her and had no idea how to get her back.

“Hey, man.” Rob, one of our forwards, slid next to me on the bench after the line change. “Are you going to that Omega thing tonight?”

I shook my head and kept my gaze forward. “Not in a frat party type of mood.” And I’d rather stick hot coals in my eyes than spend any more time with that prick in front of the net.

“Still nothing from Bella? I don't want to upset you, but I thought you should know. I've seen Richie trying to talk to her lately.”

My neck jerked in Rob’s direction. “What? What do you mean by
trying
?”

“I saw them twice. Once in the cafeteria and once in the library. Both times she didn't stop and kept walking, but I don't know what shit he's trying to put into her head. What's this competition thing he's got with you?”

I shrugged and kept my gaze on the ice. “I wish I could tell you. He’s always liked to take girls from me like it was some kind of sick game, but Bella . . . well he knows she’s different. Not beating the shit out of him is taking a lot out of me.” I glared over at Richie. I was sure he was how Bella got the Snapchat of Amber and me so damn fast.

“You’ve got a crap ton of self-restraint. I’d pummel the bastard.”

I'd wanted to do just that for days. I hated he was the one to greet Bella that morning at the apartment. It drove me nuts thinking of what he may have said to her. I was sure he embellished the shit out of what she saw.

We hit the showers after practice ended. I hardly said a word to anyone these days. Class, practice, and apartment was how I’d spent the past few days. I didn’t have an interest in anything else but getting Bella to talk to me, but I was running out of ideas.

“What do you think, OT?” Richie called from across the room as I was getting dressed. “Think I should invite Bella tonight? I bet she could use some cheering up.” He snickered at me, as he moved closer. I white knuckled the handle on the locker to keep from throwing him across the floor.

“Stay away from Bella,” I spit out through gritted teeth.

“You sure know how to pick ‘em. I love that pouty red mouth of hers. I'll see if I can get her to use it on my c—”

I threw Richie against the lockers and shoved my forearm against his throat. I couldn't grab him by the collar since neither of us had shirts on, but watching his eyes go wide as he gasped for air was satisfying enough. He kneed me in the stomach and I stumbled back. I lunged for him again and knocked him over. The guys tried to pull me away, but I was possessed with rage and wouldn’t stop.

“Shut your fucking mouth and stay the hell away from my girl.”

Rob grabbed me and managed to pull me back but I wouldn’t stop moving.

“How does it feel to fail, Golden Boy? Even the scout didn’t want you.” I wiggled out of Rob’s hold and punched Richie’s jaw. Blood dripped from his lip.

Andy pulled me away. “Dude,” he whispered in my ear, “for Christ’s sake, you have to calm down.”

“Thompson and McKenna! Dressed and in my office now!”

Of course, Coach Wilkins had a front row seat the one time I lost my cool. I threw on my shirt and track pants and marched up to his office with Richie trailing behind me.

I didn’t care that I was about to be suspended from the team. All that mattered was getting Bella back. She belonged with me, and I’d fight like hell to never lose her again.