Finding Me (22 page)

She supposed it didn’t matter. Whatever he’d found out, he didn’t do anything about it.

25

B
eth had called at nine on Saturday morning to ask Kelli to go on another shopping expedition. “I just can’t decide what to do about the nursery. Please help me,” she’d said. Six hours later, after a fun afternoon of lunch and shopping, Beth insisted they ride together over to her mother’s house. “Just so you will know where it is for next time—in case you ever want to take music lessons.”

“Beth, I really don’t think—”

“You didn’t sing a single word at church last week. Mom can take someone who is shy about singing in public and turn her into a soloist, you mark my words. I’ve seen her do it with a couple of people. At least she’ll give you enough confidence to sing along in a group.”

“It’s not so much that my confidence is lacking,” Kelli mumbled. This was not quite true—that mostly
was
the problem—but the other part was equally true. “It’s just that I didn’t know any of the songs.”

“Really? None of them? What kind of songs do you sing in your church back home?”

Kelli thought about how honest she should be here, but she decided that any kind of bluffing could easily come back to haunt her in further conversations. Better to come clean. “I don’t usually go to church. Not very often, anyway.”

“Really? Well then, Mom can be sure to teach you some of the more common songs during your lesson.” She nodded resolutely. “If you don’t mind my asking, what is it that caused you to visit our church? Is there something in particular you’re looking for, or are you just curious, or what? I mean, don’t get me wrong, whatever the reason, I’m thrilled and happy that you’re there. Just curious, that’s all.”

Kelli was pretty certain that if she pretended the reason was spiritual curiosity, it would someday come back to bite her in the form of pressure. Better to remain as truthful as possible without inviting an outpouring of well-meaning but misplaced evangelism. “None of the above, really. I mean, I believe in God and everything. My parents never really saw much reason to go to church because Dad always said organized religion was more a social network than anything and the important thing was to be as good a person as you can be.” Something her father had not done as well as Kelli had once believed. “So I guess I mostly showed up at your church for the social aspect—to meet some people, get the feel of the area.”

Beth turned her attention from the road to Kelli for just a split second, and there was no mistaking the look of alarm on her face. To her credit, she quickly regained her composure and went on like nothing had happened. “Hmm. Interesting.” She said nothing else, and the silence in the car had grown rather awkward by the time they pulled up in front of a small brick house.

“This is your mother’s home?” Kelli could not keep the shock out of her voice. The house was tiny—at least compared to the original place. Older and made of red brick, but the lawn was
well tended, and baskets of ferns and flowers hung every few feet all along the front.

“Yes.” Beth looked at her then, her eyes narrowed with concentration. “Were you expecting something different?”

“Oh, I . . .” Kelli’s mouth went dry. “I don’t know, I just sort of pictured her in a large old home full of antiques or something. Isn’t that strange how you can get something like that in your mind about someone that you’ve only just met?”

“I’d say you’ve got a good sense of reading people, because that’s the kind of house she used to live in. When I was a kid, we lived in a large house that was older than my grandmother. It was drafty and squeaky, but I loved that place. I know my mother did, too. It was a shame when we had to move.”

“You had to move?”

“After my father died, Mom’s salary as a teacher didn’t come near to covering the expenses of the place, and my grandmother was sick and needing full-time care, which also cost a lot of money. It came down to a choice between selling and moving somewhere much smaller or declaring bankruptcy. It broke her heart to do it, though, for our sakes.” She shook her head. “She always said that losing your father and sister is a traumatizing enough event for a kid, it was a shame we had to lose our home in the process. She tried working extra jobs and such, but the two of us were young, and she did a lot for Nana, too. To be honest, she’s still paying off some of the debt from all that. My mother is truly the bravest and best woman I’ve ever known.”

Those words struck Kelli hard. Surely her father would not have left his wife and children behind in such financial straits. “Did your father not have, you know, life insurance?”

“Yes, he did, but it took several years to collect. We had to have them declared legally dead in court, which was awful for Mom.” They started walking up the driveway. “She resisted for a long
time. I think it was because she really expected them to turn up on an island somewhere.”

Kelli thought she might be sick. “I’m so sorry.” These poor people had been left behind to lose everything while her father moved on with a new life and a new wife, never taking any responsibility for the mess he’d left them in. How was it possible that this was the same man she’d always known? It didn’t seem like it could be. “But she finally got the insurance money, right?”

“Yes and no. She got the payout, but she didn’t keep any of it.”

“What’d she do with it?”

“Used it to keep my grandmother in a decent care facility. Nana’s money had run out. And the only alternative was to put her in a nursing home where my mother did not believe the care was adequate.”

“What was wrong with her?”

“She had a form of dementia. I’m not sure who I felt the most sorry for, my grandmother or my mother, who ran herself ragged trying to do anything she could to make her more comfortable and happy.”

“So she used every bit of the life insurance money to take care of her mother?”

“Not
her
mother. She was my father’s mother.”

My father’s mother? He left Alison to take care of everything, including his own sick mother?
The thought was too horrible to comprehend. There had to be some sort of misunderstanding. “Your dad’s mother was the grandmother you were talking about who was in a home? Who had been in a home for a while before the accident?”

“Yes. Nana was Daddy’s mother. Why do you sound so surprised by that?”

He’d left all of them to fend for themselves while he took off for a new life with a sexy waitress who made him feel young again. The tiny brick house in front of Kelli seemed to sway back and forth, and then her world went black.

26

B
eth ran to her mother’s house and shoved the door open “Mom, come quick. Kelli just passed out.” Even as she yelled these words, she already had out her cell phone and was dialing 9-1-1.

“9-1-1. What’s your emergency?”

“My friend just fainted. She’s lying in my mother’s front yard.” Beth ran back toward Kelli and saw that she was awake and trying to sit up.

“All right, I’ll dispatch an ambulance. What is your mother’s address?”

“875 North Fairfield.” Beth hurried back to Kelli’s side as she was beginning to move around. “Stay down. Help is on the way.”

Kelli’s eyes popped wide open. “No, I’m fine. Please tell them I’m fine.” She sat up then, but her skin was pale. “Really, there is no need for an ambulance.”

“Kelli, you passed out. Something is wrong.”

“No, really, it’s just my blood sugar. It happens sometimes. Listen, I truly can’t afford the insurance co-pay of an ambulance ride, and I promise that I am okay.”

Beth did call off the ambulance, but she didn’t want to. Something was wrong, she was sure of it. Her mother stood on one side and Beth on the other, and together they helped Kelli walk inside. Mom had her lie down on the sofa, then brought a cold rag to put on her head. Beth sat on the edge of the couch beside Kelli, concern obvious in her eyes. “Do you need some orange juice? Or maybe a piece of hard candy?”

“No, I’m fine. Really, I don’t need anything.”

Beth didn’t know much about medical things, but she’d had a friend in high school who was diabetic, and she knew that blood sugar didn’t come back up on its own. When Mindy started getting loopy and dizzy, they had to get her some juice or hard candy fast. “But how are we going to get your blood sugar up? We’ve got to do something so you don’t pass out again.”

“Oh . . . right. Yes, maybe some orange juice.”

“I’ll get it.” Beth walked into the kitchen to get the juice, but really she volunteered because she needed a moment to think. She poured a glassful, knowing that something was wrong with this picture. Kelli’s story did not add up.

It wasn’t until later that night that she finally realized what was bothering her. They had just come from having lunch. How was it possible for Kelli’s blood sugar to be low at that point? Beth was more than sure that blood sugar was not the problem.

She wouldn’t say anything to her mother, not yet, but she determined to figure out what was going on with Kelli. That girl was definitely trying to cover something up. But what?

Kelli was sitting in the middle of her mother’s living room. Her real mother! The one she had spent the past twenty-four years believing to be dead. The one who had apparently loved her and grieved for her all these years. She looked around the room,
wanting to memorize everything about this place. To know what kind of decorations would have filled the house where she grew up if things had happened like they should have.

Truth was, Alison had a knack for decorating. The tops of cabinets were covered with seashells, brightly colored glass, and boats, and all things summer. Everything in this small room felt homey and comfortable and as if it were placed there with a great amount of love. Kelli was more than a little certain that if she came back in the fall, she would find pinecones, pumpkins, and everything good about the season. Above the mantel, there was a framed cross-stitch with the words
Home Sweet Home
in blue and red.

Home Sweet Home.
It really was. The house smelled of freshly baked muffins and stale coffee. The walls were full of framed photographs of the family, several including the baby version of Kelli, some teenage versions of Beth and her brother, wedding pictures, vacations at the coast. It was the kind of home most kids dreamed about, warm and welcoming and cluttered with memories of love and happiness. But, in the wall of pictures, there was a photo of Daddy, smiling at the camera, holding up a fish he had caught. The very sight of it sucked all that was good from the room, leaving behind only a cold emptiness inside Kelli. A void that could not be filled with any amount of warmth. He should have to pay for what he’d done.

“You need to set some boundaries and hold firm to them.”
Denice’s words floated through her mind, but the urge to tell everything was raging a strong war against them.

Beth walked over to the wall, obviously having noticed where Kelli was looking. She smiled at one picture after another, then turned her attention toward some black-and-white photos at the far end. She looked toward her mother. “You know what? Kelli reminds me of Great Aunt Mary when she was young.”