Finding Joy (The Joy Series) (Volume 2) (10 page)

I set my bag and purse on the floor and moved in the direction of the voices. I froze in the doorway of the kitchen and silently took in the scene before me. Adam was sitting at the kitchen table with his back to me and two open beer bottles set in front of him. The woman was standing beside him, leaning over the table. She was twisted just perfectly so that her cleavage would practically smack him in the face if he turned to look at her. I had seen her only once before, but knew exactly who she was. I’d recognize those long, lean legs, that cascading hair, and flawless olive skin anywhere. She was the girl from the coffee shop.

Caribbean Barbie.

“I’m really glad you came over today, Carissa. I wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, but I think we can work it out. It’s nice and easy for me, and I’ll make it worth your while.” Adam said, turning and smiling at her warmly.

“Oh, it’s good for both of us. You know I’ve always been very comfortable here with you.” She leaned over a little further and scratched Rubber Cat who was sitting in the chair next to Adam.

“I just wish he was part of the package. He’s so sweet,” she crooned. “Are you sure you have to take him back home to her. I could make you
both
very happy, you know.” She removed her hand from
my
cat and ran it up and down
my
boyfriend’s arm instead.

I flitted around the corner before either of them could spot me and flattened myself against the wall. My heart was pounding so violently in my chest that it could burst at any second. Bile was rising in my throat, and there was the very real possibility that I was going to be sick. I needed to get out of here before I left both my heart and the contents of my stomach on the floor of Adam’s apartment. I bolted for the door.

“I’ll get everything settled, and we’ll meet up early next week if that’s good for you,” he said.

“That’s great. We’ll pick up right where we left off,” she purred as I quietly closed the door behind me.

My knees felt weak, and I wasn’t sure how long before they gave out completely. As I stumbled past Mr. Donaldson’s door, his crazy mutterings suddenly made sense. They hadn’t been a nonsensical commentary on his own losses. They had been a warning that I’d failed to heed.

I pushed the button for the elevator, but when the light above it didn’t immediately change from the one to the two, I turned toward the stairs. Taking two at a time, I burst out of the stairwell and ran toward the front door. My heels tapped out a rapid staccato beat in time with my still pounding heart.

It was only when I reached the street that I stopped running. My shoulders sagged, and I nearly melted into the pavement when I realized that I had forgotten my purse and my computer bag. I couldn’t go back for them. I wasn’t ready to face him … to confront him. Even after what I’d just witnessed, I didn’t want to tell him good-bye.

I couldn’t get a cab. I had no money. I couldn’t call anyone. I had no phone. I began the long walk down Second Street toward my apartment. After a couple of blocks, the adrenaline that had propelled me out of Adam’s building left me. My sprint became a trudge. Even though I was supposed to meet Marlene, I was in no hurry to get there anymore. Adam would find my things. He would know that I had been there. Would he try to find me before he went to pick up Lizzie at school?

Shit. I hadn’t had a chance to tell him not to pick up Lizzie.

In all likelihood, he would go and sit and wait for her. And she wouldn’t come out. How long would he wait? With any luck, by the time he came looking for me, I would be gone. I could go to Carly’s. I could call Ethan. It didn’t matter. I just knew that I couldn’t hang out at home. Waiting. Wondering when he would come. Wondering how he would explain it away. Or worse, wondering if he would even try.

I replayed the scene over and over in my head. He had said that he was glad that she was there and that it was easy for him. What was easy for him? Cheating on me? She’d said that they would pick up where they left off. Did she mean that they would pick up from where they’d been months ago when he’d caught her cheating on him with Brian? Or were they picking up from a place more recent than that? Is this what went on every day while I was at work? It was no secret that Adam had a lot more free time than I did. I wondered now if Carissa was how he filled his time.

I was full of questions and no answers.

The longer I walked, the more numb I became. I should have been heartbroken. Rage would been an appropriate reaction. Instead, I felt like a piece of me had just died. The rest of me curled around it, forming a barrier to protect it from further damage. I hadn’t wanted to give my heart away in the first place. I’d known better. But Adam had worked his way in. He had loved me unconditionally … despite everything. And he’d made me believe that there was something in me that was worth loving.

One of us had been wrong.

_________________________

I was exhausted by the time I pushed open the door to my building. Though my feet were screaming from the 3-mile walk, my heart was still numb. I had serious doubts, however, about how long this sabbatical from emotion would last. I had a feeling it would wear off, and the ache in my chest would be back. With a vengeance.

Of course, it had to be Tony at the front desk. The guy who knew everything about everything going on in the building. And Adam’s new friend.

“Hey, Alexis,” he said in his thick accent. He looked down at his watch. “Wow. It’s early for you. Is everything okay?”

I arranged my face into something that I hoped resembled calm, cool, and collected. Even the weak smile that I was able to muster made me feel like my face might crack. “Everything’s fine,” I lied. “Tony, I left my bag at work. Can you let me into my apartment?”

“Sure thing. I just need to get the key out of the office,” he said. He gave me a sideways glance as he ambled off toward the office. A few minutes later, he returned with the key and something else hidden in his left hand. He stuck his arm out toward me and uncurled his massive fingers to reveal a single Hershey’s Kiss. Tony smiled at me softly. “You look like you could use this.”

“Thank you. You have no idea.” I immediately started unwrapping it.

He stuffed his hand in his pocket and dug around. “Actually, you look like you could use these, too.” He smiled as he thrust an entire fist full of Kisses at me. I popped the first one in my mouth and cupped my hands so that he could pour the Kisses into them. “Come on. Let’s get you upstairs.”

We made the rest of the journey to my apartment in silence. He unlocked the door and pushed it open just a crack. As I stepped aside, he asked, “Are you sure you’re alright? Do you want me to call Adam?”

“Please don’t,” I said. “I’ll be fine. I just need a few minutes to myself.”

“All right, but if you need anything call down to the desk, okay? I have to keep this key, but do you want me to get another one made for you?”

“No. I haven’t lost mine,” I said. “I’ll get it back later today.”

“Okay, if you need anything …,” he trailed off, turning to go. “I’m just downstairs.”

“Hey, Tony?” I asked.

“Yes?” he said spinning back around.

“On second thought, could you call Adam for me? My phone is at the office, too, and I need to tell him not to pick up Lizzie from school. He’s probably on his way to get her.”

“I’ll do it right now,” he said, heading toward the elevator again.

In the rush of getting Lizzie out the door this morning, I had forgotten to open the drapes. The apartment was on the darkish side, despite it being the middle of the day. That seemed appropriate though. It was a dark day in the Harper-Hill house. In the course of just a few hours, everything had completely fallen apart. I didn’t bother turning on the lights. Instead, I rid my aching feet of what had once been my favorite pair of shoes. They would need a resoling. We both did.

I sat down on the couch and dumped the Kisses in my lap. One by one, I opened them until they were all gone.

I was just trying to find the energy to pull myself off the couch when I heard a key in the lock. The deadbolt turned, and the door fell open. Adam stood in the open doorway, his arms weighed down with my purse and computer bag. A sliver of hallway light slipped past him and streaked across the apartment. Like a spotlight, it fell on me. I winced at the intrusion. Or maybe it wasn’t the light that hurt my eyes at all. It was more likely that it was the sight of the man in the center of the light that hurt the most.

The door closed again, and the apartment was once again cast in darkness. My bags thumped on the floor, and then five heavy footsteps later, he was crouched in front of me. Big, heavy hands gathered up the Kisses debris in my lap and discarded it somewhere. Then they were on me, running up and down my thighs as if he was trying to keep me warm.

I’d been right. The numbness that I’d been mercifully granted on my walk home was over. The searing pain in my chest was back as my heart split open all over again.

“Allie, what’s wrong?” he asked. His voice was laced with concern and caution. “I was on my way to get Lizzie when Tony called. He said that I didn’t need to pick her up and that you were already home. Is she getting another ride?”

A brittle laugh escaped from me. “Uh, yeah. I guess she is.”

He gave me a wary look. “Marlene?”

“I wish. Apparently, your car got a little too much attention this morning. A teacher saw you drop her off. She prodded Lizzie for information. Lizzie spilled everything, and the teacher called CPS. So that’s it,” I said, my shoulders slumping. “We’re done babysitting. Marlene’s coming at five to get her stuff.”

“Awwww, Allie. I’m sorry,” he said, looking away. “I should have dropped her off a few blocks away. I didn’t think about that being a problem. She was actually excited about everyone seeing her get out of my car.”

“It’s not your fault,” I said, shrugging. “It is what it is.”

“Shit. I’m sorry,” he said again. “Is that why you came by? You came to tell me about Lizzie?”

“Yes.” It was my turn to look away.

“Allie, why did you leave? I didn’t even know you were there.” Adam shifted his weight.

Was he nervous? I hoped so.

“I saw you with her.”

“Carissa?” he asked as if it was no big deal.

“Yes.”

“And it upset you?”

“Of course, it upset me. I heard you, Adam.”

“You heard what?”

My temper flared. “
You’re going to pick up where you left off. She’s going to make you very happy.
I heard it all,” I spit out angrily.

“What do you mean, ‘she’s going to make me very happy?’ She’s not going to make me anything. I wouldn’t let her make me an omelet.”

I looked away again. I wanted to believe him, but I wouldn’t be made a fool. He pulled himself out of his crouch and sat beside me. Like a petulant child, I turned away from him again.

“She had her hands on you. You let her touch my cat,” I said on a sob. So much for self control. It appeared that I was going to turn into a blubbering mess now.

“Awww, Allie, that’s just the way she is. She’s Puerto Rican,” he said, as if that was explanation enough.

The only thing it explained was her gorgeous skin tone and glossy black hair.
She really is Caribbean Barbie.

He chuckled, and I realized that I had spoken aloud. “Is that what you call her? Caribbean Barbie?”

“Yeah,” I said, sniffling.

He smiled. “That’s funny. It fits, I guess, being that she is technically from the Caribbean. But, honestly, I like my Barbies blond.”

“You do?” I asked pathetically. I was folding like a bad hand of poker.

He swept a stray piece of hair back behind my ear and brushed his thumb across my cheek. “Yes. Allie,
you
make me very happy. Only you. She and I played house for a little while. But it wasn’t real. Nothing was real before you. I’m not playing house any more.”

I looked into his dark eyes and melted. Even in the poor lighting, I could see that he was sincere. “So then why was she there? You told her that you would get things settled and meet her next week.”

“She wants to buy the apartment. That’s what you overheard us talking about. We are going to meet next week to finalize the deal. If I’d known you were coming by I would have gotten rid of her faster. By the way, can you ask Jay if he has a contract we can use? Isn’t it just a form or something?”

“Yes, I’ll ask him,” I said dismissively. “But I texted you that I was coming. You told me to come on in.”

“You did?” he asked. “I didn’t text you.”

Realization rained down upon both of us at precisely the same time. She had set me up. Somehow she had seen my message first, and she’d been the one to text me back. She’d probably left the door ajar. I was sure now that every word she had uttered had been carefully calculated to give me the wrong impression.

“Barbie was never so devious,” I said.

“I’ll have a talk with her.”

“No. Don’t. She wants to come between us, Adam. Please don’t talk to her any more than you have to.”

“Do you want me to tell her the deal’s off?” he asked. “If that’s what you want, I’ll do it. We’ll find someone else to buy it.”

“No. If you’re ready to sell it, let’s unload it. But please don’t meet her alone again. I want to be there.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“No. I don’t trust
her
. You have to admit that this is sort of twisted. Clearly, she wants you back. Buying the apartment that you guys shared is weird. Like, the boiling-bunnies-on-the-stove kind of weird.”

“I love it when you talk movies,” he said in my favorite husky voice. “Do it again.”

I gave him a sly smile. “Sell crazy someplace else, we’re all stocked up here,” I said.

Adam thought for only a moment. “Melvin.
As Good as It Gets
.” He paused for a second before continuing,
“
If I wanted forgiveness, I should ask for it but for all I have done and for all I am yet to do there can be no forgiveness. And yet I think I am not an evil man.”