Finding Home (4 page)

“What do you want, Jordan?” Andy asked, and there was no masking the anger in her voice. A year. It had been a year since he had walked out of her life and now he showed back up.

“I’d like to come in and talk to you, Andy,” Jordan said and with a nudge of his big shoulder, he was in the door and shutting and locking it behind him. Andy stood there feeling a rush of different emotions course through her body. She had longed for the day when she would see Jordan again, planned it, dreamed of it. But never had she pictured it with her standing in front of him with another man’s smell on her flesh.

Jordan
seemed oblivious to her inner turmoil as he stepped up to her and ran his fingers over her hair and down her cheek. “God, how I’ve missed you, baby,” he murmured. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Andy shrugged his touch away and stepped back putting more space between them. “Must be why you’ve bombarded me with calls and letters since you’ve been gone,” she glared at him. “Because you just missed me so much.”

“It wasn’t like that, Andy,” Jordan swore. “I’ve been busy adjusting to things, dealing with family issues and all the crap that goes with them. But I’ve never forgotten you. I was always planning on coming back for you.
 
There were just other things that I had to focus on first.”

What the fuck kind of excuse was that?
 
And what the hell had been so important that he had to focus on it instead of her?
 
The sad thing was that she really wanted to believe him, wanted to trust that some life or death matter really had occurred.
 
The Jordan she knew would never walk away from her, from the life they had just started building together.
 
Confusion rolled through her in waves.
 
She loved him and yet hated him.
 
She wanted him and at the same time she wished he had never showed back up.
 
Wasn’t her life just peachy?

“Well, how nice for you,” Andy stated, shoving her confusion aside.
 
She would deal with her emotions later, when she was alone. “But I’ve moved on, Jordan. I quit waiting for you to get in touch with me a long time ago.” Okay, so that was a big fat lie, but Andy was sticking to it. No way would she tell him that she had only just had sex with someone else for the first time since he left. No way would she tell him that he was the one that haunted her dreams. No way would she admit that she loved him. She wouldn’t even admit that to herself. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to take a shower and go to bed. I’d say it’s been nice to see you again, but well…I wouldn’t want to lie.”

Andy moved to go around him and head back to the door and instead found herself turned and pressed between the wall beside the door and Jordan’s rock hard body.

“Don’t lie to me, Andy,” Jordan grabbed her hands and pressed them to the wall above her head. “We had something special, and I know that you wouldn’t have turned your back on that, on us. Lie to yourself all you want, Andy,” he caught her eyes with his and refused to let her look away. “But don’t lie to me.”

He leant down and nipped her full bottom lip with his teeth, pulling and tugging on it until she opened up like he wanted her to. It was more than a kiss that he gave her. It was a possession, a statement of ownership, and, as much as she wanted to deny him, the simple truth was that she couldn’t. He was everything that she wanted in a lover, and the memories of all that they had shared came flooding back to torture her. Her nipples became turgid points where they rubbed against him, and her pussy was growing wet with desire. She could feel the long, hard length of his erection against her stomach, and she knew if not for her earlier escapade with Jackson, she would already be climbing Jordan and begging him to take her.

Jackson
. That one thought cleared her head and gave her the strength that she needed to pull away from Jordan’s drugging kiss. How could she possibly want Jordan when she could still smell Jackson’s scent on her? She sighed, finally admitting that because no matter how great the sex with Jackson was, the bottom line was that she loved Jordan.

“Stop, Jordan,” she told him pulling at her wrists until he released them. Gently she pushed him away. “I can’t do this right now. It’s been a year, Jordan, with no word from you.” She looked at him and shook her head back and forth. “You may have always planned to come back for me but that was something that you chose not to share with me. I don’t want to do this right now. I’m tired, and I’d like to shower and go to bed,” she looked at Jordan and almost smiled at the gleam in his eyes. “Alone, Jordan. If you’re going to be in town for a while then maybe we can get together and talk, but the truth is that I have moved on, Jordan.” As of about half an hour ago but that was her business.

Jordan
looked at her, and she felt like a bug under the microscope for an instant. “I’ll be here, Andy. And we will talk. You may think that you’ve moved on, but I know better. I know you. I know that you loved me, Andy.”

Andy blinked. Then she got mad. “Loved, Jordan. As in once upon a time,” Andy stated as she clicked the lock and opened the door for him. “Once upon a time you were in my life. Then you went away, and I didn’t hear from you.” Andy could feel the tears burning the back of her eyes but she refused to shed them. Everything was catching up with her and it was too much. Coming home to face her mother and sister as well as her ex-fiancée turned brother-in-law, her meeting and having sex with Jackson, then her conversation with Aunt Carmen. Now this confrontation with Jordan. It was just too much. “Just go Jordan. I can’t do this right now.”

Jordan
stepped through the door and let the screen close between them before turning back to face her. “I can smell your arousal, Andy. I know that you want me.”

“Really, Jordan,” Andy said as she inched the door closed. “And can you smell the scent of sex that fills the air? Can you smell him on me still?” Jordan’s wide eyes were almost worth the confession. “Because he just left, Jordan, and if you’ll excuse me I really would like to take a shower now.” And with that Andy shut the door in Jordan’s scowling face. It should have made her happy. But all Andy wanted to do was cry.

By the time that Andy awoke the next morning, it was almost noon. She had spent a restless night filled with nightmares and felt more exhausted now then she had when she went to bed. She picked the phone up beside the bed and called the one person she could count on to listen to her. Serena Campbell, her best friend and the voice of reason in her life.

Though genetics had graced Serena with the body and beauty of a goddess, Serena did nothing to help it along. The woman actually tumbled out of bed in the morning looking like Jennifer Garner as Electra. She had naturally curly, long brown hair and the greenest eyes. But Serena had never used her looks, unless a case required it.

“Detective Campbell.”

“Hey Serena.”

“Andy, how’s life in a small town?” It was just like Serena to skip the hellos and go right to the purpose.

Andy heaved a weary sigh. “Not much has changed.”

“You have,” Serena’s voice was strong and sure and just what Andy had needed to hear. “You are not the same girl who left there. You’re a woman now who knows her own mind and isn’t afraid to take what she wants.”

“Yeah, I keep trying to remember that.”

“So I take it dinner the first night there didn’t go so well.”

“Mom was…well herself. My sister seemed surprised to see me dressed the way that I was, and Bryan about had a heart attack.”

“And your dad?”

“He looks so much older than I remember. But it was worth everything to hear his voice and see his smile.”

“Is he as sick as they led you to believe?” Serena had never believed that Andy’s dad was really all that sick. She thought that it was a plot of some kind to get Andy back home. Of course Serena tended to look for that sort of stuff. It made her a good cop.

“He has been ill, and he is definitely not himself. But I’m just not sure. I think that there might be more there than I thought.”

“I’ll keep an eye on things here, kiddo. The house and the aunt.”

“Thanks, Serena. It seems like my problems have a way of finding me. Jordan showed up today.”

“Whoa. How the hell did he know where to find you?” And then before Andy could answer she added, “Carmen.”

“Yeah, it seems that he paid her a visit, and she was all too willing to deliver him to me.” Andy sighed and sank down further beneath the covers.

“He would have been able to find you even without her help. You know that. If a person really wanted to, they could find out anything they wanted about you.” Serena sounded like she had seen her fair share of just that during her time on the force.

“I know that you’re right. And I’m not mad at Aunt Carmen. I just don’t know that I’m ready to deal with Jordan yet.”

Serena’s laugh sounded over the phone. “You can’t fool me, girl. I know just how much Jordan meant to you. And I know just how bad it hurt when he walked away. Remember me? I was the one who stayed up eating cartons of ice cream with you.”

“I remember. Things are just weird right now. I met someone at my mom’s house at dinner last night.” Andy confessed.

“And what exactly happened with this someone?” Once again Serena went right to the heart of the matter.

“He followed me back here, and we had the most amazing sex I’ve had in a while.”

“You mean the only sex you’ve had since Jordan,” Serena stated softly into the phone. “I’m your best friend. I know things.”
  

“Yes, it was the first time I’ve been with someone since Jordan left.” Andy sighed and shook her head which seemed to be just as confused today as it had been last night.

“So what’s the problem? You met a guy who thrilled you enough to get nasty with him. You’re not in a relationship, and you sure don’t owe anything to the man who walked out on you over a year ago.” Serena was always the one that cut the excess away and went to the heart of what was bothering Andy.

“I know that too. But this is a small town, and now Jordan says that he is going to be staying around for a while to talk to me.” Andy closed her eyes. “Which I have to say that part of me is happy about. Then there’s Jackson. And after last night I wouldn’t mind seeing him again either.” She groaned and opened her eyes. “Good grief, I’ve turned into a slut.”

Serena’s laugh washed through the phone line. “You’re a beautiful, sexually active woman. And believe me when I say that you aren’t the first woman who found herself pulled between two men. And you won’t be the last either. Just play it out and see what happens. It will do Jordan good to have a little competition for a change.”

“And just what do I do if I run into them both while I’m out somewhere? God forbid with my mother?” Andy was horrified at that thought.

“Ahhh…the joys of small town living,” Serena’s humour was dry as always. Then her hand muffled the phone, and Andy could hear her speaking with someone else. “Shit. I gotta go. Watch your back, Andy. I’ll talk to you soon.”

Just that quickly Serena was gone, and Andy was left holding a phone with no one on it. She had to laugh. What else could she do? She hung the phone back up and headed to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. She was going to need it if she was going to make it through the day. She was supposed to go out to her parents’ house later and that meant seeing her mom. Plus Jordan was in town looking for her, and she had just had sex with Jackson. Cripes! Could her life get any more complicated?

Someone pounded on the back door and hollered Andy’s name. She pulled it open to find her former best friend Mary Jo Pulnik. In a childhood that had been anything but ideal, Mary Jo had been her confidant, her ally, and her co-conspirator in everything. Andy hadn’t seen her since the day of the wedding debacle. Mary Jo looked the same as she had back then. Her long, blonde curls were still a tangled mass around her head, and her big blue eyes were as happy as ever. It was a joke that Mary Jo looked like an angel from heaven but was definitely on the devil’s home team when it came to getting in trouble.

“So you decided to come back to town and not tell me?” Mary Jo pushed her way into the kitchen and turned to face Andy. “I ought to kick your ass for that. But I’m feeling generous today, so I’m going to forgive you.” Her face lit up and she whooped with delight before surging forward and hugging Andy tight. Even though Mary Jo was slightly taller than her, Andy still felt huge when beside her petite friend.

“I missed you too,” Andy murmured, only just realising how much. She should have kept in touch with Mary Jo. She should have done a lot of things.

“Yeah, remember that when you head back out again.” Mary Jo turned and grabbed a coffee mug from the tree on the counter and poured a cup of the fresh brewed pot before turning and sitting at the table. Andy took a mug as well and joined her.

“So, written anything good lately?” Mary Jo’s eyes sparkled with humour.

Andy burst out laughing. This day just might turn out all right. She smiled and thought of all the stories she and Mary Jo had plotted in their youth. She couldn’t wait to share exactly what she wrote now. For the first time, it felt good to be home.

* * * *

Andy was late when she pulled into her mother’s drive. Mary Jo had stayed a lot longer once she found out just what Andy had been doing. By the time she left, she’d ordered and downloaded every book Andy had written onto her flash drive to take home and read. They’d laughed and joked like old times and made plans to meet that evening at the corner pub in town that had been there probably since the town originally formed. Andy was really looking forward to it. But first she had to survive her mother again.