Finding His Mrs. Right (Mending Hearts Series) (19 page)

She was the one only half in. I wanted all of her—but not anymore. I had a feeling she was hiding something—maybe she was in love with someone else. Come to think about it, she never got to answer my question about that before, because Jocelyn had interrupted us. I couldn’t trust anyone.

It was apparent that it was just going to be me against the world.

Twenty

A week had passed since my mother had been in the hospital. Days seemed to blur by for me.
I ultimately let my mother have the surgery, but there was still no change. Not for the good anyway. She was deteriorating slowly, and I refused to accept it. After sitting at the hospital for half of the week, I decided to go home, and home is where I stayed. I didn’t go out for work, food—hell, I didn’t even go out to get any air. I was stuck in a rut, and barely sleeping. My life had fallen apart in one freaking day, and all I wanted to do was go back.

Back to the
very moment before everything had fallen apart. I wanted to just take my mother to lunch, and afterwards, be with Tessa. God, the thought of her made my heart ache. I hadn’t talked to her either since I’d sent her away. I grabbed the half empty bottle sitting next to me and drank it. I had been getting wasted every day to numb the pain of everything. Looking at my guitar, I thought of the last time I played it…

Strumming my finger through the keys, I stopped to write down the next note on my sheet music.
I had been writing all day, for the first time in a long time. It was nice to just sit and write for once with no ringing cell phone.

“I didn’t know you could actually play.” Tessa’s voice said, startling me.

“Well, I haven’t had the time to play in a while. My drive hasn’t been the same anyway, but I found a new muse.” I smiled, and she blushed.

I loved when she did that because it meant she really cared.

“How’d you get in?” I asked curiously.

“Riley, let me in.” she answered. “I hope that was ok.”

“Since it’s you, I’m guessing it was alright.” I smiled as I wrote another note of the song.

“Can I
hear it?” Tessa asked.

“I told you, I don’t play for people.” I said, shaking my head.

“I’m not “people”. Can’t you make an exception for me?” she pouted with her puppy dog eyes.

“
Oh, don’t give me those eyes.” I replied.

“Then play your new song for me.” She replied wrapping her arms around my neck, and I couldn’t resist.

“Okay, but don’t laugh.” I insisted and she squealed.

Tessa
sat on the edge of my bed and stared at me as I started to play the new song I’d wrote specifically for her.

A knock at my door jolted me out of my thoughts. Who the hell could it be? No one had a key. Turning around, I saw my door open and I waited to pounce on whoever it was.

“I’m coming in. I hope you’re decent.” I heard my baby sister’s voice say.

Cassidy poked her head into my room, and she frowned the moment she saw me. She had long auburn hair, with full lips that were laced with red lip stick. Her eyes were big, and also plastered with makeup. Cassidy was tall and lean, nothing like I remembered. She was definitely a model. Boy had she grown up.

“Jesus bro, it wreaks in here.” She said, stepping into my room.

“Stop yelling.” I replied grabbing my head, before taking another swig.

“I’m not yelling.” She said walking over to me, and grabbing my drink out of my hand.

“Hey!” I shouted angrily.

“Landon, what the heck is going on with you?” she asked with disappointment laced in her tone.

“I’m fine.” I shrugged trying to shake off my hangover. I didn’t want to be this messed up in front of her. Which by the way made me think of something.

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be away at school.” I barked, looking up to her from the floor.

“I was, until word spread all the way to where I was that my mother was in the hospital.” She snapped.

“Damn it.” I muttered angrily.

“Why didn’t you call me?” she asked, frustrated.

“I didn’t want to worry you.” I said as I felt like hurling. Grabbing my stomach, I half crawled to my bathroom
, and threw up all the crap I had drunk.

“Yeah, good job
of that.” I heard Cassidy say as I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand.

“I’m fine.” I lied.

“Get a shower and when you’re done, come downstairs. I’m making you some breakfast.” She snapped.

I groaned, but couldn’t really say no. I felt like hammered shit, and most likely smelt like it too. I hadn’t been out of my room in days, and had barely been out of my bed. When I did, it was only to grab another drink.
Pulling myself up off of the floor, I turned on the shower and watched the water. How could such a purifying thing, leave me with such torment?

Pushing the thoughts deep into my mind, I stripped before stepping under the hot spray of the water. I had to admit it felt go
od against my aching body. After my shower, I got dressed in a t-shirt and shorts and headed downstairs.

Cassidy was in the kitchen cooking as she promised, but there was a plate set out for me.

“I’m not hungry.” I replied pushing the plate aside.

“
Too bad, because you’re going to eat.” Cassidy barked.

“Cass—”

“I don’t want to hear it. We’re going to see mom, Landon. You’re the only family I have left, and I need you to be ok.” Cassidy snapped and I sighed.

She was
right; we were all we had left. The thought was scary and something I’d fought hard to prevent. Because of my father, my mother wasn’t close to any of her family, which ultimately left us alone.

“I am ok.” I lied, again
.

“Right, is that why you’re here alone
, drinking yourself to death? Landon, what happened to you? This can’t be just about mom, is it?” Cass asked, concerned.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I snapped.

“Don’t shut me out too, Landon. I called Tyler after you never answered me, and he said he was worried about you.” Cass responded.

“Screw, Tyler!” I shouted shooting to my feet.

“Landon…”

“Don’t bring him up to me
ever
again.” I snapped, cutting her off.

“Fine.”
She said, falling silent before fixing her plate. I sat back down, and took in a deep breath to calm down.

“How about I ask about the mystery girl you’ve been dating.” Cassidy asked and my heart sank. Tessa wasn’t a subject I wanted to rehash either.

“What’s with the twenty-one questions?” I asked.

“Well excuse me for wanting to get to know what my brother’s been up to.” Cassidy sneered playfully and I was too angry to smile.

“Jeez, someone’s surly.” She said rolling her eyes.

“Long story short, it didn’t work out. I don’t have time for a girlfriend anyway.” I barked.

“Landon, don’t you think it’s time to start thinking about
yourself
? You’ve been doing everything for me and mom since I can remember—and I appreciate it, all of it. Moms’ sick, I get it, but stop punishing yourself for it. It’s not your fault that dad was a psycho either. What he did to you wasn’t your fault.” She said, and I couldn’t handle it. This was too much to deal with. Even my sister knew I was screwed up over my past. I couldn’t breathe, and I needed to get out of here.

“What’d you do to my drink?” I asked.

“I tossed it.” She said pushing my plate back over to me.

“Why in the hell would you do that?!” I shouted.

“Because you need to get yourself together!” she shouted back.

“That’s not for you to decide.” I barked
.

“It is for me to decide if you refuse to take care of yourself. I’ve never seen you like this Landon, and it’s scaring me.” She said and my heart dipped.

Was I so screwed up that I wasn’t willing to care about anything anymore? Cassidy had been right, I had never let my cracks show in front of her, and I felt horrible. I hadn’t even called her to tell her about mom. I hadn’t given her the chance to see her—especially since mom was doing so badly. I was more than a wreck, but I was so far down in the ditch I’d dug that I didn’t see a way out. Self-loathing wasn’t a thing I was used to, but I’d finally let it get the best of me.

My cell phone rang, grabbing my attention.
I hadn’t touched the thing in days. I growled as I reached for it, but Cassidy pulled it out of my grasp. I narrowed my eyes at her as I watched her answer it. She listened for a moment before hanging up.

“That was
, Tyler.” Cassidy replied.

“I told you never to bring him up to me again.” I barked.

“Well, today’s Danny’s birthday party. Apparently, you promised you would be there?” Cass asked, and I frowned.

I’d totally forgotten, and Amanda had left me a message saying they’d postponed it because of everything that was going on with my mom. I was such a screw up. I hadn’t even gotten him a gift.

“Damn it.” I cursed. “Cass, can you take me to get a gift?”

“I’d be glad to.” She smiled brightly.
“After you eat.”

“I’ll eat at the party.” I shrugged, knowing it was a lie. Getting up from the chair, I headed to the door, not giving her a chance to answer.

After grabbing the biggest toy in the store that I could find, we headed over to Tyler’s house. I really wasn’t up for this, but I refused to disappoint Danny. I had already been M.I.A. for the most part this year, but I’d be damned if I missed his party. Tyler had just better steer clear of me.

Ringing the doorbell, I rubbed my temple as I adjusted my sunglasses. I knew my eyes were bloodshot red, so I threw them on. The door opened, and I
was glad to see Amanda standing there. She smiled at me before pulling me in for a hug, and I stood frozen.

“I’m glad you came.” She replied letting me go, but she still had the glowing smile planted on her face.

“I’m not going to stay long, I just came by to wish Danny a, “Happy Birthday”, and give him this.” I said holding up the big box.

“I’m still glad you dropped by, Landon. Oh my God, Cassidy is that you?!” Amanda said spotting my sitter.

“In the flesh.” Cass smiled before they hugged each other.

I walked off and headed through the house, hoping not to see Tyler. I didn’t want to have to lay him on his ass again, especially in his own house.
Moving through the living room, I saw everyone outside in the backyard. Man had they gone all out for Danny. But I couldn’t blame them. Danny had been sick growing up. At a very early age, he was diagnosed wit
h
Leukemia. It was the reason I took an interest in charities that dealt with kids the most. Danny had gone through hell, and it nearly killed him.

I had sat with them at the hospital through nearly everything. I didn’t want to watch my best friend lose a child.
I had footed the bill for any treatment Danny needed, and was glad for it. To see him finally have a clean bill of health for his birthday was amazing.

Danny spotted me and I was glad. He dropped his friends and ran straight over to me.

“Uncle Landon!” he shouted as I dropped the box and knelt to him. I held him tight and smiled. I was glad to have made his day.

“Daddy kept saying you weren’t going to come, but I knew you would because you promised.” He replied letting me go.

“Show’s what your daddy knows, right?” I shrugged.

“It sure does.” I heard Tyler’s voice re
ply behind me, so much for not running into the prick.

“Whoa, is this for me?” Danny
asked wrapping his arms around the huge box, and trying to lift it.

“Sure is buddy, but you can open it later
. Go have some fun.” I smiled as I got up.

“Thanks. Uncle Landon!” he replied hugging my legs before running off. I smiled, before Tyler spoke to me
, and washed away my tiny happiness.

“Thanks for showing up. I really thought—”

“Don’t assume things about me.” I snapped turning to him.

“Landon, come on.” Tyler said in a begging tone.

“Fuck off.” I whispered as I felt my hands turn into a fist.

“You guys playing nice?” Cass asked stepping in between us with a huge smile.

“Cass, oh my God! You are so enormous!” Tyler said, turning his attention away from me.

“You say it like I’ve grown to Shaq’s size.”
Cass joked.

“It’s just been awhile. You’ve really come out of your shell.” Tyler smiled.

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing.” Cass frowned.

“Always good;
you know you were pretty before you left, you’re just stunning now.” He chuckled.