Finding Gavin (Southern Boys #2) (10 page)

Chapter Nineteen

I walked up behind her and slipped my hands around her waist. Bending my head forward, I kissed her just behind her ear and held her close, enjoying her warmth.

Without even thinking, I rested my hands over her stomach. Within seconds, her body lightly shook against mine and she hung her head.

I carefully turned her in my arms and tilted her chin up. I knew what she was thinking, because the same thoughts rolled through my mind with the touch. Memories of what we had lost overtook me.

“I wasn’t thinking,” I explained. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I was just overwhelmed for a moment. It’ll get easier, right?” she whispered.

I nodded my head. “It will one day, for the both of us.” I assured her, before pulling her in close.

We stood there in the kitchen, wrapped in one another’s arms—with the loss of our baby still raw in our hearts. She may not have been very far along, but it was still a child we had created together. A child who we both should have had the chance to love.

***

We sat down at the table, surrounded by a meal she had spent so much time creating. She spoiled the both of us. She woke up early on a Saturday morning to bake and plan.

Pop was in heaven. I was sure it had been years since he had eaten a meal this well-prepared.

I watched in awe as Maria laughed and smiled at Pop. It sure didn’t appear as if they had just met the day before. You would think they had known each other for years.

I hadn’t realized I was staring until I heard Pop clap his hands loudly. “Snap out of it, boy. I think you got a little drool on your chin.”

Maria blushed and he chuckled, taking a big bite of his homemade noodles.

I was pretty sure he moaned in pleasure from the taste. “Damn, that is good,” he declared. “Damn good, girl. I may keep you.”

“Not a chance, old man. Get your own,” I stated, causing Pop to chuckle even more.

The relaxed feeling that filled the room was something I hadn’t felt in a long time. I had lived the last year with nothing but reservations about everything I did. It felt great to finally let go and enjoy the moment.

When dinner was finished, I helped Maria clean up. We both convinced Pop to go relax in his favorite recliner. Something about the domestic actions we were performing side by side made me smile.

Putting away the last dish, I held my hand out to her, signaling for her to place hers in mine. She smiled up at me and I pulled her near. “Let’s go for a walk. I wanna show you something.”

I led her out the back door toward the barn just at the side of the house. I stopped to grab two flashlights, passing one to her. “You’ll need this.” I winked and smiled at the skeptical look on her face. Whenever she gave me that look, it made my stomach flip. It was the cutest expression.

I pulled her along to a small path at the side of the barn that led to a clearing just beyond the trees. I pointed toward the wooden swing in the center, and she smiled up at me.

“It’s been here for as long as I can remember.” Holding her hand and helping her up onto its small platform, I waited for her to take a seat. Climbing up beside her, I pulled her in close to my side.

“I remember little things from my younger years. I was so little, but Wayne used to bring Kathy and me out here. We would sit for hours looking at the stars. On cloudy days, Momma K would lay a blanket out, and we would try to create images in the sky made up of clouds.” I paused, looking up at the stars and thinking back.

“The two of them were so in love. They were amazing together.” I flipped on my flashlight and pointed its beam toward the treehouse. “That thing is falling apart, but do you believe we used to camp out inside of it? Those nights hold some of my best memories. They were like two big kids, but they were the greatest parents.”

She was silent, allowing me to talk and reminisce. We swung gently as I held her close. The night was clear and quiet. We sat in silence, continuing to rock.

“K, she would’ve taken a broom to my ass, if she were still alive. There is no way she would have allowed me to treat you the way I did,” I whispered.

She turned in my arms and placed her hand on my cheek. “You didn’t do it on your own. You were honest with me from the beginning.” Maria traced my lower lip with her fingertip. “I was just dumb enough to believe I could walk away and not want more from you. That’s on me, not you.”

I shook my head, wrapping my arm around her waist, I lifted her onto my lap. “It’s not all on you. I should have waited until I was ready for you. I was ignorant to believe a girl like you didn’t need more than one night. You deserve so much more than what I was willing to give at the time. I should have waited.”

I firmly grabbed on to the back of her neck and pulled her closer. Our lips were just inches part. “I just hope that we can overcome the mistakes we’ve made. I wanna make a new start with you.” I kissed her, softly resting my forehead against hers. “I need to show you that I’m not the man I let myself become. You’re worth so much more than what I’ve given you.”

“I like the sound of your plan.” She smiled. Leaning toward me, she once again placed her lips against mine.

We would start here, now. Our pasts would teach us what not to repeat. We both deserved better than the last year.

Chapter Twenty

Maria and I sat beneath the stars for over an hour. Holding her in my arms, I promised that this time things would be right. I would no longer hold back. I would no longer delay the happiness we had both deserved.

I led her back to the house, finding that it was dark. Pop had already gone to bed, so we quietly climbed the stairs. Placing my hands onto her hips from behind, I guided her to the bathroom.

When I closed the door behind us, she turned and looked up at me. “Is this okay?” I asked.

She nodded, while watching me lift my shirt up and over my head. Her eyes followed my movements, until it dropped to the floor beside me. Reaching around her, I flipped the handle and turned the shower on.

She stood in the tiny bathroom staring at me, as if she didn’t know what to do next.

“I can wait until you’re done. I understand if you need to be alone.” She placed her finger on my lips to quiet me.

She smiled. “No, this is fine, really,” she assured me just before lifting her own shirt and dropping it beside mine.

Once we were undressed, we stepped into the small shower that really was barely big enough for both of us. I am sure it was not built for two, but I wanted to be close to her.

I stepped toward her and she stepped back into the stream of water, tipping her head backward. I watched in awe as she wet her hair before adding the shampoo.

Her hands began to lightly massage her scalp, while her eyes shut from the sensation. It had to be one of the sexiest things I had ever seen.

I stepped closer, bringing my chest against hers and feeling her breasts press against me. Lifting my hands to meet hers, I began washing her hair, as her hands dropped away to rest on my shoulders.

The water slowly trailed down between us, washing away the shampoo. At that moment, I had never felt more connected than I did with her.

I lowered my lips to hers and took her mouth in a heated kiss. I had no doubt that she could feel what this was doing to me. I wanted her so badly. I was always trying to control my raging hormones when we were close. I wasn’t sure her body was ready for what I desperately needed.

Her whimpering was only making me harder. I tried to step back, but she gripped my shoulders and held me close. With her tongue sliding over my lip, I firmly grabbed her hips and pressed my growing erection against her stomach while lightly biting on her hip.

“We should stop,” I whispered against her lips. “You’re making it really hard for me to control myself,” I stated.

“Then don’t control yourself. Let go. Stop thinking about it so much.” Maria continued to kiss along my jawline. She was making it difficult to focus, as her hands slipped down over my chest and across my stomach. Just as I was about to say something, she gripped my hardness in her hands. My words were lost at her touch.

“I want you, Gavin. I need you,” she whispered.

***

After quickly finishing our shower and toweling off, I followed her out toward the bedroom.

Backing her up against the bed, I lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“Yes,” she murmured. She was looking at me with eyes full of desire. 

Knowing what her body had been through recently, I was more than worried that I would hurt her.

“Slow,” I whispered. “We go slowly, okay?” She nodded her head in agreement. Brushing her hair back from her face, I leaned forward and left a trail of kisses along her neck. “If at any time anything feels uncomfortable, you have to stop me.” She once again nodded her head. “Promise me, baby.”

“Yes,” she whimpered. “I promise.”

She crawled up the bed backwards, never once taking her eyes from mine. I stood for a moment admiring her. She was beautiful, and I was a lucky man to have her here, with me.

“What are you waiting for, handsome?” she asked with a smile on her face. “I’m feeling lonely in this big ole’ bed.”

Her playful attitude was a breath of fresh air. She had an amazing outlook for someone who had such a hard run in the past.

“Just admiring the beautiful woman in my bed, that’s all,” I assured her.

“Well, will you admire me from up here?” she asked.

I chuckled. I was a fool. I was also done for—falling was no longer a problem. I was gone, and I had never been happier than I was in that moment with her.

Crawling over her body, I kissed my way to her mouth, slowly appreciating every inch of her perfect body and every curve.

“You’re so beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful,” I whispered between kisses.

She parted her legs, welcoming me to settle between her thighs. My hardness rested against her warm center. It took everything I had not to pull back just enough to enter her warmth.

Before I let my body respond to the desire that was swarming my mind, I reached for my wallet. I took a condom from the sleeve and tore at the edge with my teeth.

The anticipation of my next move was weighing so heavily on my mind. From the look in her eyes, she was feeling it too.

After rolling on the condom, I rose up just enough to position myself above her. I nudged her gently and she squeezed my shoulders tightly. My eyes connecting with hers once more, I kissed her softly. “Remember your promise,” I stated firmly, reminding her that we could stop at any time.

She nodded her head and I began to sink into her depth. A deep groan escaped me, and I squeezed my eyes together tightly.

A giggle filtered through the silence of the room, and my eyes shot open. I raised an eyebrow in question, and she bit down on her lip to hold back her amusement.

“That isn’t really the reaction a guy looks for when he’s making love to his girl,” I explained.

“You just looked like you were in pain. I’m sorry,” she reassured me. Wrapping her legs around my waist, she nudged me on.

I began to withdraw slowly, followed by another slow thrust. I continued this pace, moving within her and watching her closely for any sign of discomfort. She continued to encourage me on with her sweet moans and whispers of
yes, Gavin.

When I felt her body began to tense around me, I knew I was close behind. Her head was thrown back and she whispered my name as she came.

At that moment I let go, burying my face in her neck. “So good,” I whispered.

***

We spent Sunday morning with Pop. He made his famous sausage gravy and a huge pile of homemade biscuits. It was one of Momma K’s recipes.

I stood in the doorway while he taught Maria the secret he hadn’t even shared with me.

“Now just a small pinch, that’s all ya need,” he told her.

He watched as she placed each item into the mixing bowl. It was one of those moments I wish I could freeze and replay forever. Pop, in just a couple of days, had been captured by Maria. You could see the adoration in his eyes as she smiled and laughed.

I loved seeing them together, and I vowed I would bring her back here often.

We stopped in town to get gas before heading back to Brooklet. Just as I was exiting the gas station, I saw a familiar head of blonde hair. Nicole stood at the side of my truck, talking to Maria.

My heart began to thump within my chest so damn hard. My feet moved with force as I quickly approached.

I imagined a catfight or some sort of jealousy game. What I never imagined was hearing Maria’s laughter.

I stopped just at the back of the truck, listening closely.

“I can tell you make him happy, though. I could see it in his eyes. I’m not gonna lie and say it don’t hurt knowing that he’s moved on and found someone else. It hurts, but he’s right; we weren’t that good for each other. I just hope he finds the forever kinda happiness with you. He is a really great guy, but I’m sure you know that already. He has an amazing heart.” Nicole’s kind words shocked me slightly. Maybe motherhood was changing her, after all.

I stepped around the back of the truck, and her gaze immediately connected with mine. “Hi,” she said.

“Hey.” I returned the smile and looked at Maria. She was watching my reaction closely. “Everything okay?” I asked.

Nicole looked back over at Maria and smiled. “Yeah, it’s all good. I just recognized your truck and stopped to wish you both the best.”

I continued to observe the two of them. It really wasn’t a comfortable feeling having Nicole this close to Maria. Even though my girl looked unaffected, I knew that Nicole was just taking the opportunity to size her up. My ex-wife, and I say ‘ex’ with great enjoyment, always has a hidden agenda.

Pulling away and seeing Nicole waving in my rearview mirror while Maria looked out through the windshield was an odd turn of events.

I was leaving behind my past, only to move forward with my future.